Tag: Laos

Pining – 3rd May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 7 Comments

When I was yours and you were mine
A lunatic love filled our eyes
Now you’re hidden in the fog of time
Smoke rises to fill the skies

Through the mist, I grasp at straws
There’s no silver lining
When you were mine and I was yours
This hazy moon no longer shining

Submitted to Moonwashed Weekly Prompt

Today I’m feeling:

Great, after accidentally enjoying an extra hour of sleep. Exercise felt a little easier and I’m even doing a little Thai writing practice in-between sets. A three-coffee Utopia morning sets me up for the rest of the day.

Today I’m grateful for:

The two fish that fed us, the fishermen that caught them, the chefs that prepared them and Nut for collecting them.  Thank you fish, I know I am a hypocrite to take your lives for mine.

The best thing about today was:

Sudden inspiration whilst reading other poetry and prompts that ended up with me writing more words that I’m proud of.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I had to wait a long time this afternoon as Amy was enjoying drinking with Nut and I was not having a good time at all despite the good food.

The atmosphere was off as Nut and Bruno bickered with each other, sometimes seeming nasty to me and infecting Amy to take some shots at me too.

I was happy to leave her there and pick her up later but she wanted me to wait.

Finally, she felt sick and wanted to leave though she has a second wind now and screaming loudly singing along to her favourite songs and dancing in the living room, whilst I’ve come to the bedroom to write this.

She also just came and gave me a hug and thanked me for being a good husband (perhaps for putting up with her drunken mood swings or letting her get on with being Amy).

Something I learned today?

Despite Monday the 6th being a national holiday we are meant to be at school.  This prompted me to send messages to Kru Tang and Kru Mai that I would be on leave that day and also on the 20th.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Amy was in a bad mood because we had forgotten to bring the beer to take to Nut and Bruno’s for lunch.  As I wasn’t drinking I didn’t think anything about the bag sitting on the dining room table as I went out to open the gate to prepare to leave.

When Amy realised later that we didn’t have the bag with us she blamed me for forgetting it or at least for not thinking to help her with it.

Honestly, it wasn’t even that big of a deal to me as we stopped at a shop and bought more beer but Amy couldn’t let it go and her car door slamming carried over to me and I took on her bad mood.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

This afternoon was a challenge, not just because of what was happening but also how I was thinking about it.  I wondered if we are still compatible, still love each other or want to be together?  What would happen if we decided not to stay together any longer.

I recognise, now that it is later, that these are just the negative thought patterns that I can easily conjure but are not clear reality.  Thoughts that float on down the river.

Thailand to the left, Laos to the right.  Mae Khong.

Burning Man – 22nd April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Some things are indefensible
We all make mistakes
The idea is to learn and grow
No matter what it takes

When genocide repeats itself
What was the fight for?
When the persecuted rain down
Their own hypocritical war

When destruction becomes immoral
What must a soldier do?
Take a big bite of courage
To get the message through

Propaganda no longer hides
The truth of all this killing
To turn a buck for a belief
In a society no longer willing

Today I’m feeling:

Good, after forcing myself up and to exercise. I really wanted to sleep more so I’m happy with myself and my motivation.

Today I’m grateful for:

The local hospital and Dr Poom, my medicine dispenser.  I was able to get straight in today with barely 5 minutes wait, despite it being very busy.  I also asked about information for my students who are struggling and what to recommend them if and when they go to the hospital.

It occurred to me today that after Baipad tried to overdose on paracetamol all the hospital were concerned about was her kidney health.  It seems like maybe no one even asked her why she did it!

Anyway, the info from Dr Poom was useful as they have a child psychiatrist there and psychotherapists too.

The best thing about today was:

My energy levels being great for most of the day due to that morning exercise.  I felt energetic and inspired through all of the day and though I wasn’t doing much strenuous work since the morning I just kept going from one thing to another.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As mentioned a couple of weeks ago there has been a change to access the full replay of the AFL matches online and whilst I was able to access it with a VPN last time, today it didn’t work and I was getting wound up by it while trying to figure out a way around it.  Eventually I just had to resign myself to watching the 15 minute mini-match highlights.  Disappointing but all I can do is shout at the clouds.

Something I learned today?

I learned that it is costing the USA 200 million dollars an hour to keep the genocide rolling in Palestine.  Or as the USA likes to call it, defending Israel.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent pep messages to Anchan and Baipad this morning.  I also chatted a little with my other students, Freya, Winter and Wipping.

I beeped at the annoying BMW in front of me that failed to move at the traffic lights, meaning that we all missed it and couldn’t go anywhere.  I was frustrated for a minute.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

I picked up the guitar again today and it sucked!  But I persevered even whilst continuing to suck.  I need to change the strings too.  They sound dull – much like my playing!  Never mind.  I won’t be deterred.

I took this picture because this was the view from our dinner table on Saturday, looking over the Mae Khong to Laos.

I Used To Be Somebody – 30th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Perhaps I was a president
Making difficult decisions
A surgeon with a scalpel
Making precise incisions
Maybe I was a singer
Adored by many millions
Or a famous architect
Designing high pavillions

I used to be somebody
And now that I’m not
I’m just another nobody
That everyone forgot

Today I’m feeling:

Lazy and relaxed today.  Still a little numb from the whisky on Thursday but not bothered by the lethargy it has induced today as I was yesterday.  I thought that I might read and play guitar today but have managed to do neither.

Today I’m grateful for:

Boss at Utopia for making me my final coffees that he will make for me as this is his last day before he leaves for Lampang to start his own shop.

The best thing about today was:

Enjoying playing games on Xbox and though being aware of it wasting time it felt like a reasonable trade-off today.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There is some family drama going on that I won’t go into detail about here but it may make our New Year’s Eve at Mum’s a little awkward depending on who is there.  A culmination of events and bad timing have brought about this drama which feels to me somewhat typically Thai.  Amy and I are both on the same page and we are pretty much just bystanders wondering how things will unfold.

Something I learned today?

Thailand is looking to fast-track the high-speed rail from Laos to Bangkok, as well as the land bridge between the Andaman and Indian oceans.  The USA is very unhappy with China’s involvement in these projects and will obviously try to disrupt them through one means or another.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I waited around for a few minutes to wish Boss at Utopia all the best for the future but he was in the toilet for so long that I decided to leave, with the thought that I might return later in the day but unfortunately, I didn’t.  Was this a good deed that turned vile?

I took this picture on Wednesday because this kitty, as with all little Thai gingers, reminded me of Kim. This was about as close as I could get though as it was too shy to get closer.

The Alien – 19th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Came along in a shiny craft
Took one look and loudly laughed
Said ‘These things are sadly daft!’

Abilities deeply bereft
Nothing even worthy of theft
Closed the hatch and quickly left

Left no trace of any sort
Radioed home and did report
The value of this place is naught

Today I’m feeling:

A little worse again as all the phlegm gathered in my chest has decided it wished to evacuate, during the night. In an effort to stop constantly coughing, I shoved an extra pillow under my head and tried to raise my top end up so that the green slime stayed down in my chest until the morning. This tactic only had minimal effect though and it seems I have a constant supply of rising mucus now as I sit coughing into my coffee.

Today I’m grateful for:

Bruno’s high-pressure hose again, as I got back after coffee and with a burst of energy cleaned up the paths and area outside the kitchen and they are now gleaming white. They should stay like that for a year or so.

The best thing about today was:

The mango sticky-rice flavoured ice cream that didn’t really taste like mango sticky-rice but was delicious in its own way. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

When using the high-pressure hose at the back door I knew the muddy water was going to spray under the door and into the kitchen a little (because nothing fits properly in Thailand!) and sure enough, it did.

After I finished Amy asked me why I didn’t close the door when I was hosing. I did!

I was hoping she would clean up but she asked me to and in the end, it was pretty quick and easy. No big deal.

Something I learned today?

I watched an interesting video of an American guy who was in Laos and trying to visit the casino area in the Golden Triangle. Casinos are already sketchy places in my eyes and I was totally put off them after visiting Macau.

This guy found a few sketchy things too but where there’s money, there are workers (willing or not) and as this area of the world is so poor people are easily lured there.

Commenters were worried about his safety and it made me consider some of the sketchy situations I found myself in some places before too. I think I just figure most people have good intentions and those that don’t don’t generally fuck with you if you don’t fuck with them.

What are three words to describe how I feel right now?

Satisfied, content and (is there a single word that describes a sore neck?)

I took this picture because I dropped off some lanterns at Daytripper and the reflections on the waterlogged paddy fields were enticing. I enjoyed a nice early afternoon coffee there too.

Photographs – 1st November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

No longer memories in a desert
That night of drunken play
Lost to the pictured word
That claims all that happened that day

Today I’m feeling:

Anxious and excited as classroom days resume. The fun, the fighting, the lessons we all learn.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding two useful textbooks in the teacher’s room which I immediately turned one part of the text into a lesson that I used for the grade 7 class. I figured it would be pretty easy revision and just take an hour but they managed to stretch it to two with lots of faffing around.

The best thing about today was:

Listening to the You Don’t Know Mojack podcast about the Volcano Suns album ‘Thing of Beauty’ on the way home from work and then in the evening playing guitar along to a couple of tunes from it. Love that band.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

A couple of my grade 7 students were a little temperamental in my class this afternoon and tested my patience a lot. It’s early days as we all get used to each other again and instead of getting too bothered, I tried to find other solutions to get them back in line.

Something I learned today?

I read about the China-Laos rail line that crosses the border in Laos at a place called Botan. The crossing in 1993 was little more than a single iron bar gate but now lots of investment has grown the city rapidly. Despite the economic slowdown and the pandemic’s effect on travel, Laotians are hoping that this is a springboard to a better future.

List three goals for this month.

Renew my tourist visa. This is a must!

Get back to the exercise routine I had before the holiday.

Get back to around 80kg again, whilst improving my fitness.

Nam took this picture because the class insisted on a photo with everyone showing off the koala souvenirs I gifted to them.

I’ll Start Life Tomorrow – 15th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I still want a bowl of ice cream for breakfast
To burst my pimples onto the mirror
My floor will forever be my wardrobe
And three-day-old socks may get one more chance
I love the delicious pain of peeling scabs
To reveal the gloop of the human inside
Doodling nonsense when time drags its hands
A daydream may be the best part of today

Sniffs of cigarettes and beer
Deny both my health and wealth
I laugh at the cars racing by
With fist shaken out of the window
I’ll happily kick a stone along the road
And score the winning goal for my team
This tree was made to climb
And my feet to cushion the jump

Racing a friend for no reason
All rules are there to be broken

Today I’m feeling:

Happy to have arrived at Friday. I feel better this week than last. Hopefully, all this exercising is providing me with a little more stamina each week.

Having said that I’m expecting to enjoy a sleep-in tomorrow morning.

Today I’m grateful for:

The candy that has been in my kitchen for about six months. It’s not that I don’t like it but just haven’t thought about eating it recently. 

As I had run out of candy that I usually kept in the car earlier this week, some of my students were left disappointed when I had none to give them so I grabbed a handful from the kitchen this morning. The students were happy to receive a treat as they were waiting in line to get a vaccination before classes started. Some students used this as an excuse to go home early (the vaccination, not the candy!). 

The best thing about today was:

Talking one one-on-one with some of my grade 7 students again, like I did last year. It’s always revealing to get little snippets of what they really think, especially about each other. It’s also easier to give them individual encouragement.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The thing I complained about yesterday with one class not helping themselves was repeated again with another class today. So maybe the fault is with me. I need to come up with a better way to get these kids focused and engaged. It’s a constant challenge.

Something I learned today?

There are still 80 million unexploded bombs in Laos, dropped by the USA after bombing raids in Vietnam. If their planes had bombs left on board it was safer (for the plane crew) to drop them rather than trying to land with them. The USA has never been held accountable, along with many other atrocities they have committed around the globe. What a despicable, fucked up country the USA is.

Who do I miss from my past?

Those that have died. Steve, my mum, Kimi.

I don’t feel like I miss anyone who is still alive as it is relatively easy to contact just about anyone. This connects with yesterday’s prompt about taking things for granted though. One day these people will die and I may regret not contacting them when I had the chance.

I miss the feelings I had with certain people as certain times in past. I cherish the emotions and the meaning of those times more than the idea of talking to the particular people involved again.

I’m not sure who took this picture because I left my phone at my side whilst I was concentrating on listening to another student reading and just now found this picture, the only one taken today.

Change Your Mind – 23rd October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 9 Comments

When evidence is not compelling
Even though it’s fishy-smelling
A balance is easy to find
What will it take to change your mind?

To update your view is noble
Even if it’s not seen as global
To admit you were wrongly inclined
What will it take to change your mind?

7th Oct 2024 – Shared with Reena’s Xploration Challenge #350

See the fruits of discipline and skill as the richest pleasures of all.

Robert Greene

Today I’m feeling:
am: flat – pm: happy and enthusiastic
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to fix the number plate on my bike for just 69 baht. The first shop I tried the guy just pointed down an aisle but didn’t help me at all. I couldn’t find the part I needed so went to another shop instead and the lady there went and got what I needed. She gets my money. I guess I’m also grateful that I never got stopped whilst riding around without the plate for the previous 24 hours.
The best thing about today was:
Finally sitting down to play guitar again after a couple of lazy days. I figured I’d give it ten minutes but ended playing for an hour and a half. Currently reading the Clash bio and hearing about how quickly they became skilled has motivated me a bit more.
Take a selfie.
Not a selfie type.

This is from yesterday. I took this picture because this was the destination that I marked on my map that I almost gave up on a couple of times on the way. I want to go back and I want to keep going!