Personal Growth Junkie – 27th October 2023

Always found in the self-help section
4000 hours to find perfection
Never enough time to exercise the mind
Because excuses are easier to find

Join the green tea and chai latté set
Have you tried the ice baths yet?
Tried everything but it’s never enough
Taking deeper breaths than Wim Hof

Personal growth junkie experimenting
A life lived always just implementing
Tried until all the rules were set
Died before all the goals were met

Title borrowed from a Spinning Visions blog post though otherwise unrelated


Today I’m feeling:

Flat but at a reasonably happy level. I’m not particularly thrilled about being back in my room as I feel a little kicked out of my own house. But I will adjust. I’ve thrown out a lot of stuff that I haven’t touched for the last two years so now the room is clean and more spacious, Amy allowing my bookshelves to remain in the living room for now.

Today I’m grateful for:

The staff at Mana Mala for making my mala soup, especially for me, even admitting they made a mistake the first time and even though I had to wait I appreciated their effort.

Also grateful to those who wished me a happy birthday today – Hayden, Bronwyn, Amy (duh!), Aunwar, Porpieng, Baitong (today is her birthday too), Momo, Fah and another student who I’m not sure who they are!

The best thing about today was:

Going back to school again, not having anything to do, so enjoyed a coffee at House whilst reading and writing, then a second coffee at Utopia.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

This afternoon I had just finished tinkering around with some bits and pieces in my room and lay down to read when Amy called from inside the house asking me to come and help her. I complained that I’d just lay down but came anyway and she promised not to ask me to do anything else all weekend to which I laughed as we both know that she will. I handled it with grace and humour and now I hope to read (though I can hear the neighbour’s kids coming to play….hopefully Amy sends them away!)

Something I learned today?

I learned that next week the students will have activities so no teaching just yet. Gives me a little more time to get back into the swing of things again. I only did one lot of exercises this morning and whilst it pepped me up I was flagging by mid-afternoon. I’ll get back into it.

What is something I need to let go of?

Nothing. I embrace the good and the bad. I favour the good and acknowledge the bad. There are some emotions that I could let go of but they are just emotions. I can experience them without letting them have a negative impact.

Over time now I’m expecting to let go of my attachment to certain things. As I age,  my belongings should necessarily dwindle until they and I no longer exist.

Amy took this picture one week ago because we were enjoying our last night in Sydney. No new pictures today.

No Air – 2nd March 2023

When there’s no air to breathe
I must learn to hold my breath
Each precious gasp to push against
The certainty of death

Black lungs are better than black hearts
I just want to breathe
Not in control of my coming time
But now’s too soon to leave


Today I’m feeling:

Relaxed and happy but have a headache from the bad air quality.

Today I’m grateful for:

Fon and her sourdough bread that she dropped at mum’s house for me. This one is not as delicious as last time but still delicious!

The best thing about today was:

An easy day for myself and students both, so that everyone was happy. The little bit of work that I asked them to do for me was just right to keep them involved whilst also letting them chill a little.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’d been advised to contact another teacher about grading our students this semester and was hoping, as happened last semester, that I could just hand over my final grades and they would do whatever magic it is that they do in the system.

Anyway, I finally saw the teacher today and they said that if I had login access, which I do, then I can enter the information myself.

Instead of thinking about the extra work it would mean for me I actually thought that this would be useful for me to learn so at least I have done control over the data before it gets adjusted to make everyone look good.

Hopefully, the two teachers who know the system can help me and I can get on with doing it next week.

Something I learned today?

A fair percentage of the world’s tomatoes come from Xinjiang, where they only started farming them in the recent past.

As some dumb countries sanctioned businesses in Xinjiang they are now facing shortages. The UK is said to have introduced rationing and people can only buy two at a time!

Meanwhile, the farmers now sell into new markets and their businesses are booming.

The whole Western narrative around Xinjiang is such unrealistic bullshit.

What are some things that I need to let go of in order to move forward?

The only things I need to let go of are the things I can’t control. Staying attached to them is useless. In general, I am letting go of many of these things and feeling better for it.

I took this picture because I was picking up ice cream at LungChom and these flowers were showing off in the parking lot.