He’s the rebel on the underground – 17th November 2019

If you could travel back 5 years what would you tell yourself? What lessons have you learned that you would like to pass on?

I think about 5 years ago I had just embarked on working at Woolworths after helping May with Doodee in Sydney. Working at Woolworths was a weird change of pace for me that ultimately didn’t work out for me. I put my heart and soul into new work and I do that for myself. That internal reward drives me but I guess, looking back now I would have to tell myself that that reward is good and should be enough.

I also needed the positive reinforcement from other people such as the manager who behaved in a very undermining manner towards my work. I needed to be able to accept that rather than go through all the difficult times I did. I tried to make the best of a difficult situation in the end until a better opportunity arose. I think I could have jumped ship a lot quicker if I had been that confident in my abilities.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to sit this morning as the sun rose and pick off the grass seeds from my trousers. The countryside was quiet except for birds and critters making their morning noises. The sun was warm against the cool air and the somewhat arduous task became easy.

We got that attitude! – 20th October 2019

My biggest lesson in the last year is something I am still in the middle of. I know some of my shortcomings after the situation at CRPAO and the lesson for me is how to deal with something like this again in the future. I am continuing to explore meditation, exercise, journaling and pulling back a little bit.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have had many opportunities to smile this week. Driving to Rayong, taking photos on the beach, finding alcohol at the corner shop, meeting Kaew again, tipping Aing, our waitress at Vertigo Too, for her great personality and service, looking out across the Bangkok skyline under a full moon, drinking good beer and laughing with Lekky. Smiling every day with Amy.

Got to have my origin in this house of suffering – 3rd October 2019

Poisonous people are a lesson waiting to be learned. It’s a tough test and it feels like suffering. Must remain calm and clear.

In my dream, many friends appeared. They were not ones I readily recognise but I knew they were my friends.

In Sydney I felt like everyone I knew or was acquainted with in the music scene was someone I could trust. Quite naive but the feeling was real. Our scene is built on mutual respect and understanding.

We got that attitude! – 25th September 2019

I dreamt I couldn’t find my socks so that I could go to school/work. Mum was there, although, I didn’t see her. She made me feel calm and I understood to work methodically to find them. I think my mum taught me patience – I surely tested hers.

Hayden will come to visit soon. I hope he can take away some life lessons from me. I should plan some things to talk with him.

Gratitude Journal

I learnt today that the sun still rises. No matter what. The old adage ‘it will pass’ is consistent, even if it doesn’t feel like it at times. I am grateful to the kids in my class. Day to day they don’t give a shit, yesterday’s problems are forgotten.

18th Feb 2021 – Sometimes I need an ego reset. Resume child-like wonder! This time was tough for me and I’m reminded now of one girl in another class getting really upset and angry at another student who made fun of her skin colour. I comforted her and told her she was a beautiful person and not to ever forget that. She looked up to me a lot after that. But now, I look up to her, as she and the bully run around playing together still.