Tag: LungChom

Through Confusion – 13th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments

Sometimes I wonder what I’m looking for
Why there’s no handle for this door?
What glimmers from the forest floor?
Confused by all these questions

A calm demeanour to maintain
Despite the urge to not remain
Too tired and weary to explain
Confused by all the answers

But I own myself, I’m not for sale
Despite the loss, I cannot fail
Collecting thoughts to fairytale
Confused by all the stories

I went from green to red to green
Saw many things I’ve never seen
I’ve become what I’ve always been
Learning through all this confusion

Written for Ovi Poetry Challenge – maintenance, WDYS #233, Writer’s Workshop Prompts – sale and dVerse – green. Also submitted to NaPoMo.

Today I’m feeling:

A little bleary.  Coffee hasn’t done its magic.

A disappointing practice of guitar has got me down and now the blaring PA system of the neighbours celebrating Songkran is annoying me.  I just want quiet – to think, to read.  It was fun to see the children preparing to start splashing everyone this morning though.

The skies are clearer than the last few weeks, there’s some breeze and the temperature quite bearable.  Only one thing for us to do today – shopping.

Today I’m grateful for:

Art giving me a free cake for Songkran today.

Also, Amy wanting to go to Big C and allowing me to drop a couple of things in the trolley that I wanted.  

She also paid for Swenson’s ice cream for our dessert – which was great and all but nothing on LungChom’s ice cream.

Needless to say, I’m putting on weight this month.

The best thing about today was:

Finding a baby cow at the front door!

We both heard some mooing outside our living room window but it sounded to me as if it was in the field at the back.  A few minutes later we heard it at the front, though thought it was still coming from the field next door.

A second time though and we went to investigate to find the little cutie confused on how to get back to its mum that was calling from the field next door.

We were eventually able to usher it out and back where it immediately got to suckling and security.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Both Baipad and Anchan have been out of contact for a couple of days.  

There’s nothing to be done, I just hope that they are both doing ok for now.

Something I learned today?

I found a very funny comedian on YouTube called Dan Rath.  He’s from Sydney too.

What’s a question I’ve been pondering lately?

I have been thinking a little about what is next?  Am I just going to keep on documenting my life up until this point without really adding anything further to it?  Am I done?  

I am weirdly happy and satisfied though.  

Or am I just old, tired and lazy?  

Pondering questions raises more questions.

I took this picture because we take pictures of our visitors.

The Muddy River – 6th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Don’t wait until it’s too late to realise
A life isn’t lived if it’s lived in fear
Even though we fall we still hope to rise
We sure could use a drink down here

The further we go the further back we get*
The possibilities only ever feel near
Along the way exclaiming ‘Are we there yet?’
We sure could use a drink down here

Wherever this winding river will lead
Its waters are more muddy than clear
It pays to suffer, it pays to bleed
And we sure could use a drink down here

Submitted to Writer’s Workshop Prompts – thirsty and NaPoMo
*Appropriated from Mudhoney

Today I’m feeling:

Lazy and happy.  Woke up at 10 am and have not been motivated to do much of anything really.

I came across this quote yesterday that I quite liked:

“Delusions believed by billions are still delusions and the truth of one humanity embraced by even one human is still the truth.”

Abhijit Naskar

Today I’m grateful for:

Finally receiving my classes list for next semester.  I have a wider range of classes so will have to do more preparation and will start getting into that on Monday.

The best thing about today was:

Eating a bowl of LungChom ice cream.  It’s been a year that I’ve been denying myself because it is so nice and I was getting too fat from it, so I’ll enjoy it again now and try to resist falling into any further addiction.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Talking with Anchan breaks my heart.  She doesn’t know anything about what happened with her mum in court and is sad, lonely and frustrated in Chiang Mai.  I discovered that her mum is in a Myanmar prison which is just a nightmare.

I suggested many things to try and take her mind off her situation but she is in a pretty negative state of mind.  She did cry that she should be enjoying her teenage life and not having to deal with all this.

I saw that her and Fah were friendly at the end of last semester so I contacted Fah and asked her to chat with Anchan, just to be a friend.  I hope some contact will keep her a little grounded.

Something I learned today?

Bonism – the doctrine that the world is good, although not the best of all possible worlds

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I moved around some plants for Amy and fixed up the vine plant so that it should grow over the empty roof space and hopefully give some natural shade at least.

Mee took this picture sometime last year. I’m pleased that she is feeling better than last year.

The Baton – 4th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

You got all of me
The good and the bad
And for all to see
The happy and sad

Take up this race
Carry the baton on
Please take my place
I love you, son

Submitted to WDYS and NaPoMo

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again. The air is pretty putrid again today. You can taste it, not just smell it.

Today I’m grateful for:

The delivery people who still manage to get our parcels to us from all around the world, despite all the disruptions in our soi from the new road being built.  4 parcels were delivered while we were out.

The best thing about today was:

The air was slightly clearer the higher up the mountains we got but then once up there it was impossible to see any view.

Most of the restaurants and resorts were closed but we found one and enjoyed Akha food and coffee before hitting Charin Pie and LungChom for desserts.

We should get home around 5 pm and hoping the electricity is back on.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In our soi, they are moving the electricity poles today so they cut off the electricity all along. And today it’s forty degrees! No choice but to go out somewhere so we took a lazy drive up to Doi Chang.

Something I learned today?

Anchan messaged me again. She is staying in Chiang Mai by herself as her extended family is working in BKK.

Her mum, who is in jail, will go to court tomorrow and may end up in prison. She sent Anchan some money to take care of herself and some bills but her uncle, whose house she stays in in Chiang Rai, demanded it all off her.

She’s only 14 and has to deal with all this. She is keen to work to support herself and is highly motivated but I’m also worried about her being vulnerable and could easily be taken advantage of.

She’s smart but the offer of good money for selling her body could sway her and I don’t want that to happen.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent Anchan 200 baht to keep her going. 

She didn’t want me to send her money and I can’t afford it much either but there is little else I can do. Even emotional support can’t buy her some vegetables.

I messaged some other of my vulnerable kids today to try and keep some dialogues open.

I took this picture because these red buds stood out at this little water feature as we entered Suan Charin Pie this afternoon.

No Air – 2nd March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When there’s no air to breathe
I must learn to hold my breath
Each precious gasp to push against
The certainty of death

Black lungs are better than black hearts
I just want to breathe
Not in control of my coming time
But now’s too soon to leave

Today I’m feeling:

Relaxed and happy but have a headache from the bad air quality.

Today I’m grateful for:

Fon and her sourdough bread that she dropped at mum’s house for me. This one is not as delicious as last time but still delicious!

The best thing about today was:

An easy day for myself and students both, so that everyone was happy. The little bit of work that I asked them to do for me was just right to keep them involved whilst also letting them chill a little.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’d been advised to contact another teacher about grading our students this semester and was hoping, as happened last semester, that I could just hand over my final grades and they would do whatever magic it is that they do in the system.

Anyway, I finally saw the teacher today and they said that if I had login access, which I do, then I can enter the information myself.

Instead of thinking about the extra work it would mean for me I actually thought that this would be useful for me to learn so at least I have done control over the data before it gets adjusted to make everyone look good.

Hopefully, the two teachers who know the system can help me and I can get on with doing it next week.

Something I learned today?

A fair percentage of the world’s tomatoes come from Xinjiang, where they only started farming them in the recent past.

As some dumb countries sanctioned businesses in Xinjiang they are now facing shortages. The UK is said to have introduced rationing and people can only buy two at a time!

Meanwhile, the farmers now sell into new markets and their businesses are booming.

The whole Western narrative around Xinjiang is such unrealistic bullshit.

What are some things that I need to let go of in order to move forward?

The only things I need to let go of are the things I can’t control. Staying attached to them is useless. In general, I am letting go of many of these things and feeling better for it.

I took this picture because I was picking up ice cream at LungChom and these flowers were showing off in the parking lot.

I Don’t Know – 28th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We’re making black and white from grey
With all the conflicting information on show
Picking a side of the fence to stay
But the smart thing is to say ‘I don’t know’

22nd Mar 2024 – Submitted to RDP – Liminal

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and tired

Today I’m grateful for:

My new yoga mat which I finally unpacked and used this morning. I only did a quick workout as I woke up with a start with my first alarm and snoozed a bit after that. I’ll not be able to keep the mat out as our cats will eventually pee and puke on it which is what happened with the last two.

The best thing about today was:

A bowl of LungChom coconut ice cream with fresh strawberries, yoghurt and chocolate muesli. Damn, I’m going to have to make sure I workout a lot these days.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I couldn’t stop myself from an afternoon nap even though as I was nodding off whilst reading and telling myself ‘getting up to exercise will stop you from falling asleep’! I’d planned to get the bike cleaned and serviced and go to Daytripper and ended up not even leaving home again!

Something I learned today?

In Denmark women are (or were in the early 2000s) encouraged back into the workforce after their children reached 18 months, sending their kids to care centres. The carers and parents all rationalised this as positive despite all scientific evidence suggesting the outcome is negative for the babies.

What were the highlights of this past month?

This month has been pretty quiet in general. It’s just been work and home. Nothing stands out but as I’ve said before I’m happy with that. No highs mean no lows. And in general, I’m riding above the median and savouring my life.

Anchan took this picture as part of a TikTok video because that’s what kids do. So, being the annoying teacher I am, I photo-bombed her, making fun of her and to her credit, she was completely unfazed and finished her mime song and uploaded it. Maybe I’ll be famous!

Shall We Put Out The Fire? – 26th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Is there good reason to fetch water
To quell the house that’s burning?
A reason to continue living oughtta
Be something that’s worth learning

inspired by Existential Comics 487

Today I’m feeling:

A little dizzy but more enthusiastic than yesterday. I’ve stuck with the half tablet of sertraline again today and hope I can maintain it by taking tramadol in the mornings to keep me boosted up a bit.

Today I’m grateful for:

The strawberry sellers from the mountains are back outside 7/11 with a lot of juicy fresh fruit at ridiculously cheap prices. Tomorrow I’ll pick up some coconut ice cream from LungChom and get fat again like I did last year! Ok, well I’ll try not to do that but I am looking forward to that mix of ice cream yoghurt strawberries and a dash of chocolate toasted muesli.

The best thing about today was:

Finally finishing the Anton Chekov 100 short stories collection. It took about three months as I was generally satisfied with just reading one story a day and some stories were only two pages long. The stories themselves were all enjoyable to excellent though.

Liu Cixin’s Death’s End next, to finish off this awesome sci-fi trilogy.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My main computer is having problems again so I’m struggling to get some things done with it at the moment, such as using the app that I practice guitar with. I need to back up some files and reinstall the operating system again to see if that fixes whatever the problem is again. It worked last time, about 18 months ago and I hope it will work again. I could do with this machine running for a few more years.

Something I learned today?

27th Feb 2023 – I went off looking at things to consider something useful that I learned today and got so distracted that I forgot to update here.

How did I show kindness to someone today?

Apart from the three boys at Utopia (Art, Boss and Gong), I didn’t meet anyone today. I didn’t show kindness specifically, and nor was I unkind. After arriving home at 9.30am I haven’t talked directly with anyone. Except for conversations with four of my M2 students in LINE where I’ve been asking their ideas about future jobs and I have been encouraging them no matter how wild their dreams. I’ve also put suggestions forward for backup plans too.

I took this picture on my January bike ride because finding this lake was a little unexpected at the time. I came across a few like this and they looked like old rock mines and the blast holes had since filled with water. No new pictures today. It’s been dull and grey all day.

Shoes For Goal Posts – 3rd June 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s a fight, start with prayers
There’s lies, confusion, disarray
Sweat pours off the walls
Nervous to find the words to say
Repeating mistakes made
The copiers made all look fools
Yes, it’s a war of words
This battle raging within schools
No guns, but iron wills
The only shots are stares
Rewards a-long time coming
And not for the one that cares
Giving up is a sort of option
Answers found on a plate
Rescues become failures
Too impatient to sit and wait
One day the fighting ends
Everyone found to survive
It’s time to start on dying
And forget the time alive

An ESL teacher’s reminiscence for school days.

Lie to people who want to be lied to and you’ll get rich. Tell the truth to those who want the truth and you’ll make a living. Tell the truth to those who want to be lied to and you’ll go broke.

Jason Zweig

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for LungChom and their delicious coconut ice cream, the guy selling bananas at Fah Tai and Makro and Big C for their yoghurt and muesli – mix it all up in a bowl. Delicious.

She’s Back – 27th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

I’ve had a long shower
And I’m snuggled up with a book
I can hear strange noises outside
But can’t be bothered to look

I’m about to fall asleep
The room is dark and black
That’s when the screaming starts
And when I know she’s back

She turns on all the lights
And dances around the room
Jumping up onto the bed
I hope she finishes soon

She makes me laugh and makes me mad
I’ll always love her to bits
But right now I need to sleep
And she’s really giving me the shits

Amy has turned much of our garden into a cactus oasis, not helped much by the long rainy season this year though. It was today I noticed that this delicate cactus was being held up by this tall ants nest, originally a stick in the ground. Ants will rule the world. They are also back in our kitchen building a small nest by the back door again.

Our neighbour’s dog, Tangmo, always enjoys coming to play but tends to go a bit nuts when he sees Kim Chi, who is usually behind a screen door inside her room. Today though, we’d just let her out when he decided to come visit and after a bit of chasing around the situation above occurred.

We worry that Tangmo could easily bite Kim Chi badly as he’s so much bigger and his barking and jumping around make her scared but usually, Kim will be the one chasing him away. Don’t fuck with our cats. Tangmo just seems to want to play but isn’t quite sure of the correct cat etiquette.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for LungChom and their delicious ice cream that I ate two bowls of last night in a state of overindulgence.

Feel good today after forcing myself to do my minimal daily exercise on the weekend (this morning is rest day so I did yoga instead). I also ate two bowls of ice cream last night – which were freaking delicious but perhaps a bit too much!

Oh stayed over last night, though I was in bed by then and didn’t see her this morning either. Amy is giving her a bread-baking tutorial. Amy also did a pre-order for her cinnamon buns and got inundated with requests, so much that she will be baking for three days instead of the planned one.

I listened to day 3 of the gratitude course this morning, which gave me two very important reminders. ‘I dismiss any thoughts that entertain feelings of comparison’ and ‘I embrace my journey because it is uniquely designed just for me.’ I think these constant habits of mine are slowly having the desired positive effect, though I am not particularly challenged these days, or at least I feel as if I’m not, which could also be because of these habits.

The semester is winding down now and I’m feeling pretty relaxed. I hope that students return next semester, as I don’t have anything else planned if we continue online and I also want to start my experiment with 2/9.

Last week I was getting a bit frustrated with my guitar playing but yesterday I got back into the flow, teaching me that it’s ok to relax, take a break if necessary and try again at another time. But it is not acceptable to give up.

I’m also working up the free time and courage to get back into learning the keyboard and music software and thinking about making songs again. I know I can do it but I’m also aware of what a time sink it will be.

Amy is still constantly frustrated with the situation in Thailand and I have to try and deflect or point out our positives so that it doesn’t get her too depressed. I am attempting to deal with the situation here stoically and I am happy to tell Amy that I am ok living anywhere in the world with her.

When she’s drunk, she will chide me with ‘you love it here, you can stay’ and whilst I wouldn’t say I love it here anymore than anywhere else, I am happily aware of how easy my life is compared to the UK and Australia. Even so, I will give it up if it makes Amy happier with herself and her situation.

The Week That Was – 26th August 1979