What I See Is All Around Me – 15th November 1987

What I see is all around me
Poison gas comes to surround me
Unhappy until it’s found me
What is all around me?

Acid rain burns up my home
And all the things I’ve grown
With all the love I’ve shown
I feel so alone

Throwing smoke into the sky
We don’t even question why
Who’ll be standing by your side
When the world begins to die

I see the clouds in the sky
As time keeps passing me by
I sit alone and wonder why
As the clouds keep passing me by

I see a hole in the atmosphere
And wondering what I’m doing here
The future seems so unclear
I wonder what I’m doing here

17th Oct 2025 – Ozone holes, Bhopal and Chernobyl, along with Mutually Assured Destruction, all added to the general zeitgeist of fear in the 80s.

Badhead – 24th October 1987

Badass motherfuckers
Skating on the sidewalk
Rad thru the precinct
Smashing up the billboards

Ride til you die
And skate for your life
Crashed out
Wheels split either side

Badhead, motherfucker
Badhead, shoot that sucker
Badhead, riding high
Badhead, watch you fly

17th Oct 2025 – I wasn’t really a part of skate culture and no one in our village had a skateboard, preferring BMXs and then motorbikes. Skateboards didn’t make much sense for fun or for transport. I did learn of its connection to punk through The Stupids and some other US bands. I seemed to understand that it was cool and rebellious without particularly knowing why. At least, until a little later when ‘the man’ tried to stop kids skating everywhere.

Deathtrip (Excerpts from Michael Ryan’s Diary) – 12th September 1987

Watched the movie on the video
I wanna go out and down to skid row
Yeah baby, you bring out the Manson in me
I don’t need your psychiatry

I got sixteen rounds of ammunition
I’m set for my expedition
In my see-through world of pain
Someone’s gonna remember my name

Believe me, you don’t wanna live
You were born to die on my trip
How do I stop the buzzing sound
Maybe the answer lies in the town

I’m getting cold, I need a fire
I’m feeling like a crazy live wire
Let’s find the kids in school
Let them see my real world

Trapped at all directions
I want you in my collection
It’s time to die and I’m next
They’ll remember, and what I left

On August 19, 1987, Michael Ryan embarked on a shooting rampage through his hometown, known as the Hungerford massacre. It was, at the time, the deadliest mass shooting by a single individual in British history and led to major changes in UK firearm laws.

Kill Your Kids – 6th July 1987

Hate your family, middle aged man
Wanna get out, yeah, family man
Can’t take the pressure, about to explode
Take your gun and start to load

Kill your kids, daughter and son
You wanted to live fast and die young
Now it’s too late, so take revenge
Can’t stand to hear them again

Take a pick axe to their heads
Tie them up in their beds
Cut their limbs off one by one
Now you’re starting to have some fun

Down the pub, have a few beers
In your pocket, your daughter’s ears
Leave your wife to clear the mess
But you know she’s the next

Kill your kids and your wife
You just want the happy life
Free from screams and bad dreams
Not falling apart at the seams

“Man convicted for killing his family
Judge has sympathy
Four kids of his own
Driving him crazy
Two years with good behaviour”

Next day
Thousands of dead children

Wheel In Motion – 27th June 1987

This fire’s burning – crazy inside me
Flames licking my very souls
Since I started running from it
Just can’t seem to keep control

Forever, ever spinning round and round
Can’t get my feet to touch the ground
Just waiting for a positive notion
To stop this wheel in motion

This cruel and heartless life I lead
Is shaking me in my boots
No possession and always temptation
Dividing my from my roots

A fall from grace, a raging wind
Blowing my curtains wide open
Look through the window of my mind
Take a ride, why don’t you come inside?

Wheel spinning forever and on again
Endless path of endless lies and no open gates
Can’t stand still for the reaper’s fear
I know for me that heaven waits

Funky Things – 6th June 1987

I sit at home and watch TV
I try and count to three
I read a book yesterday
I fell asleep halfway

Try and think of things to do
Try and think of things to be
The doctor says to eat an apple
And I just watch TV

I like to count telephone rings
Sometimes I don’t like anything
I eat lots of strawberry ice cream
Something is not what it seems (but I forget)

I count the lampposts in my street
Ten funky things on my feet
I watch sand drying on the beach
I ate something which just didn’t agree

Dream Torture – 8th May 1987

Original formatting above and the text, however WordPress ends up formatting it, below

I walk in shadows and I talk in silence
I dictate my abuse and my violence
I cry loud and you cry louder
I’ll make you itch without a powder

Don’t talk to me about her
She is my love, she is my sun
She is mine, she is the one
She is my love, she is my hope
She’ll take my violence when I can’t cope
Don’t talk to me about her

I stir the dust and create the wind
I use emotions from deep within
Cracks in the sidewalk, my hiding place
I’ll make you itch when we’re face to face

Don’t talk to me about her
She is my love, she is my dream
She is mine, she is the cream
She is my love, she hides my sin
She’ll blinds my violence from deep within
Don’t talk to me about her

I have these visions of broken dreams
I have to hear my victim’s screams
I don’t see what my violence caused
So long as I know my problem’s solved

Bag Of Bones – 28th March 1987

Don’t ask me what it’s all about
We’re all just acting roles
The life blood and emotions
Wrapped in a bag of bones

Don’t kiss me in the morning
When the skies are blue
I’ll blow your mind by Sunday
So you can join me too

I’m tripping over buildings
Trapped in your telephones
Screaming from the inside
Wrapped in a bag of bones

Don’t ask me what’s the meaning
Of life and alcohol
I sit alone on desert dunes
Contemplating the animals

Wrap me in your arms
Touch me with your toes
A comfort and warming
This skinny bag of bones

1st May 2025 – A slight rearrangement of these words in the recording below though they are barely audible. I’m confused at how I managed to jag the saxophone sounding fairly melodic and in tune with the song. I had no idea what I was doing with the thing and it got sold soon after Hate That Smile broke up and I needed money. Written sometime in 1987 these words didn’t get used in a song until 1989.

Tomorrow Is The First Day Of Spring – 10th March 1987

Wake up in the morning
The sun is shining bright
Open the curtains
To let in the cool white light
Light a cigarette
Draw in the wispy smoke


Wake up from the darkness of your mind
Open your eyes, let your body unwind
Memories of old make them hard to find
Your new ones will be of the same kind

Something wrong, something right
You wake up sweating
In the middle of the night
Something strange, something new
Change of mind
Or a change of view?