Tag: Mae Sai

Just Dirt – 28th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Here the farmer stood
Surveying all his fields
Knowing the earth was good
Increasing next year’s yields

Yet, the prince, he scoffed
“Nothing here is growing”
The farmer turned and coughed
Satisfied and knowing

23rd Jun 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

A bit more lively than yesterday though I still fancy an afternoon nap. I’ve been the driver for the family today, to Chiang Saen, Mae Sai and Mae Chan.

Today I’m grateful for:

The candy seller at the market, where I found the candies that the stall has outside school and obviously at a better price.  Whilst I picked out a few different bags she offered various others to try and taste.  I was lucky that Amy found the noodles and mala sauce she wanted in this shop too so I snuck all my stuff in there for her to pay.

The best thing about today was:

Driving around, which made me think that I haven’t been up around the Chiang Saen, Chiang Khong area yet (on the motorbike) and it would be good for a nice laid-back ride sometime.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Whilst I was in my room playing guitar I was surprised to hear the sound of rain on the roof.  I didn’t think too much of it though it was kind of unusual to have rain at this time of day, this time of year.  But then I heard banging and the shade outside my window had fallen down and was now slamming against the wall.  The rain had gotten heavier and suddenly the wind had picked up.  Next came rumbles of thunder and everything got stronger.  I went outside and Amy screamed as the roof on the entertainment area started banging again where it was broken in the summer storms last year.  I ran to the garage and emptied the wheelbarrow already full of water from the leaking drain and found a bucket to put in the shed to catch the leaking in there too, though both of these were relatively useless in rain this heavy.

Something I learned today?

Amy has been watching these YouTube videos of two Korean boys travelling around Thailand and today I saw some pretty nice places in Isaan that they were visiting.  It would be good to go there one day though I feel a lot of places in Thailand look the same everywhere.  Jungles, rice fields, mountains, rivers and beaches.  I’m still quite smitten with it all though.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Driving the family around wherever they directed me and even though sometimes they confused me with their directions, I carried on without complaint.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 7. Be Grateful. Say thank you to everyone and everything “Thank you for this beautiful day.” “Thank you for your email.” “Thank you for being there for me.”

The longer I keep practising being grateful the more I’ve realised there is to be grateful for.  Sometimes I struggle to find something new to be grateful for, especially if I haven’t been doing much but I usually come up with something.  I’m not sure how many years I’ve been doing it now but I think I started sometime in 2020 and managed to do it pretty much every day since.

I’ve mentioned in the past that Thai people don’t often say thank you in a shopping situation and it’s quite a cultural norm.  I can’t help myself though, it’s just ingrained since childhood to say please and thank you.

I took this picture because these kitties, along with two more inside, were surveying the surrounds from this second-floor vantage point as I pulled up at Utopia this morning. 

Titanium – 19th December 2023

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This missile will find its way
Into the hands of men as gods
This bomb, when come out to play
Accelerates the unlikely odds
Nowhere safe from your precious metals
In bunkers even, sat hiding
Under rocks, the earth unsettles
Monsters are patiently residing

Today I’m feeling:

Good again though I can feel tired from the morning exercise and last night I didn’t stay up much past nine pm.

Today I’m grateful for:

The immigration officer at Mae Sai who gave me my visa, which allows me another ninety days stay and then one year. And I can get that next one at Chiang Rai.

The best thing about today was:

Not being at work in the morning.  It’s always good not to be at work when you are supposed to be, even though I enjoy my work these days.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Every day I could fill this space with something about my classes or students.  Knowing that I wouldn’t be at school this morning I sent work to my students on Saturday to give them plenty of time to do it beforehand if they so wished.  I reminded them on Saturday night, on Sunday and yesterday too but still, there were 13 students that didn’t do any work or communicate with me about their not being able to do it. 

Some will use an excuse that they had to go for vaccination during class time but that’s not going to fly as they knew about the classwork three days previously.  It has got me thinking about how to make some kind of lessons about planning and preparing for things.

Something I learned today?

I read an interview with volunteer medical emergency people in New York where they discuss trying to treat gunshot victims sometimes even as firefights are happening between the police and the ‘criminals’. Just replaying those thoughts over made me realise that the USA is already a third-world country.

What kind of responsible country has gun fights on its streets? What kind of organised country requires volunteer emergency services? A third-world one. It feels like the USA is trying to drag everyone down to their level.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I drove myself and Amy to the city this morning and I took Leo for a walk before driving us both to Mae Sai and back home.

I took time to prep a class for work that they have to do tomorrow so they were a little surprised that they had no actual work to do. 

Hopefully, they are primed and thinking about what they need to do tomorrow.  I’m pretty sure they can articulate in Thai but they need to figure it out in English.

I had to hold three students back in class because they didn’t do the work that I asked of them during class time.  Once they had resigned themselves to this fact I tried to make it at least a little bit fun for them until they had finished. 

Unfortunately, one of them was overemotional and rushed their work so that it was illegible and I had to make them do it again.  By now, everyone else was gone and the sound of kids outside having fun was very obvious. She eventually broke down crying saying ‘I want to go home’ and though I felt sorry for her I realised that she is very selfish and very spoiled by others around her.  I gave her some sympathy but also reminded her that it was her own bad choices that put her in this situation. 

As we were leaving the class I tried to remember what it was like when I was being ‘taught a lesson’ and put myself in her shoes. 

I like to credit my kids with smarts, they know exactly how to manipulate adults to get what they want and I feel like their tears are more because they know they fucked up and were wishing they hadn’t.  I felt really sorry for her but had to stop myself from giving in and letting her off.

How have I prioritized my well-being this year?

This has been by slowly increasing the amount of exercise I get and I have learned that I feel better and more positive on the days that I exercise.

I have also gotten into the habit of reading things that reinforce what I already know and though they often fizz in and out of clear memory I can feel that reinforcement building slowly, protecting my emotional stability.

Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

If this was inside the house…I don’t think there’s anything that can’t be replaced so maybe I might just grab anything to hand….  Grabbing important documents would be handy but I’d have to shove Amy back inside to grab them as I would undoubtedly grab the wrong things, for which I would forever feel her wrath!

If it was in my room then it would probably be my old photos. I’m slowly trying to digitize them all and if that ever becomes the case, even though I would have them stored online somewhere I would probably grab my hard drives with all the pictures, music, books and comics that I’ve collected over the years.

I took this picture because I was surprised to see all this extra decoration on the window at Utopia over the weekend.

No Chef – 28th November 2023

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I know I know nothing
You tell me, how much cheese?
I’m no chef, I’m just eating
Transfer the knowledge, please!

A poem for this Existential Comic

Today I’m feeling:

A little tense as there is a lot of running around today. First to the city to walk Leo, then Mae Sai immigration where we have just home from. Right now I’m ready to scoff some lunch before dashing back to school for my afternoon classes.

Today I’m grateful for:

Officer Oh at Mae Sai immigration. This was my first visit there and all the staff seemed far more friendly than in Chiang Rai. It’s a bit of a long way to go each time but hopefully the experience will be better.

The best thing about today was:

Getting my visa application in and hopefully having that finalised within the next three weeks.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Being out of my class this morning was a little difficult as I tried to monitor everything from the work they were sending me in their messages.

About ten students didn’t submit anything and later in the day I deducted points in the system.

It was then found that I had gotten two students mixed up and needed to add their points back but then finding that I can only deduct points and not add them! I want to get that fixed because I want to reward students too.

Something I learned today?

More than 87% of Palestinian deaths caused by Israel in the last 51 days are civilian. The highest ratio of civilian to combatant deaths in any war ever and by a long way.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Last night I made the choice to get up early and go with Amy to walk Leo but when we arrived this morning we found that her dad had already taken him. Everyone has been telling him to take it easy and he only finished his second round of chemo yesterday but he is obviously frustrated at not being able to do all the things he wants to do. As the brief thought went through my mind of wasted time and wasted petrol, I pushed it aside and prepared for the next step of driving us to Mae Sai.

I messaged Manow hoping that she recovers from her cold soon.

I apologised to Pin and Gam as I accidentally deducted points from them in the SchoolBright system. They were both gracious in return.

As a few of my final class wanted to go off early to sports practice I made a deal with them to help them get through the work quicker.

After going to Immigration in Mae Sai Amy wanted to go to the markets. I didn’t really want to buy anything myself but happily went along with her as it felt like we had enough time. We bought some roasted chestnuts and noodles for her mum and dad and I was tasked with delivering them before getting back to school. It was a bit of a rush but I got it done.

What emotions do I feel most often?

I’ve become much more emotionally stable over the last couple of years and the emotion I notice more often these days is joy. There are times when I just have a feeling of inner peace and happiness.

Other emotions such as stress, tension and anxiety seem to occur often enough but register less. Depression is almost gone completely.

I took this picture last night because I wanted to capture what we had setup for Loy Kratong in the driveway. No new pictures today.

The Innocent – 27th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The whitest wild eyes of youth
Lips that have never kissed
Always running away from truth
Without fear of anything missed

The smoothest skin, muddied hands
Boys and girls with crazy dreams
And no one ever really understands
What the problem really means

Loving and losing without a touch
A game on the playground of thought
Wanting it all and not wanting much
Is all that’s ever been taught

Today I’m feeling:

Much better though somehow time ran out yesterday and I was so tired so I woke up with a complete surprise when my alarm went off. I could’ve slept for a few more hours. But as soon as I got to school I got my energy back again. Now I’m only coughing a little bit.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nancy for helping to fast-track my visa so that I can lodge it tomorrow and get my visa extended until it’s completed. It means driving to Mae Sai tomorrow so I’ll miss my first class in the morning but should be able to get back for the afternoon.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling good in general despite being on the go for most of the day from morning exercise, getting to work, photocopying for my first class, teaching, writing and reading during the only real downtime of the day today, back to class then finishing, shopping, post office, back to the city after Nancy’s call, back home, setting up for Loy Kratong, preparing to tomorrow, playing guitar, studying, cleaning up all the Loy Kratong candles, finally into bed.

Lots of good interactions with people even though not all of them were about positive things. Again, not one thing stands out as best.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

6 of my grade 8 students didn’t really bother doing work in my class today which was very disappointing. I didn’t really get upset about it, though I did deduct points from them in the SchoolBright system and tell their homeroom teacher(who is pretty useless). I’m not going to bother pushing these kids much as I only see them once a week. They understand what my requirements are and it’s pretty simple. If they can’t be bothered, well, it’s up to them.

Something I learned today?

According to Al Jazeera Israel has released 117 Palestinians in the last 3 days and in that same time they’ve detained 116 new Palestinian prisoners in areas across the occupied West Bank!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I messaged Earn about her not getting distracted by other students in my class today which she is sometimes prone to do. She said it was because she was in a good mood, so I told her to try and bring her good mood to every class.

I messaged Funfai who told me that she won 3rd place in her tennis competition which was for the whole of Thailand. I congratulated her on all her good work.

I took some selfies and gave Kru Fang a farewell hug as today is her last day at our school. I hope she is happy and has a good future.

I was Amy’s Loy Kratong photographer and assistant with setting up and lighting candles. I happily did as she requested despite her shortness with me at times.

What do I want to focus on this week?

My focus at the moment has come around to consistent Thai study with ThaiPod101. But I’m already in the habit with that so I don’t need to focus particularly.

Same for exercise and playing guitar.

I should focus on finishing sorting out the piles of things in my room as I never got to finishing it. I made it to a functional and clean 85% leaving 15% of things that I didn’t want to make a decision on yet.

I took this picture because the full November moon means it is Loy Kratong, a festival to celebrate the goddess of water and ironically ends up polluting most rivers with debris of one sort or another.

Sketches for my sweetheart (the drunk) – 5th January 2021

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We had a 4-day holiday over the new year. For 2021 I have made a half-hearted resolution to play more video games! Last year I rarely played anything at all. In fact, I have many things I could, can and will do but I thought it was amusing to make a resolution often seen as negative.

So for much of this 4-day holiday, I gave myself a backache by playing new games on my old Xbox One.

An exception to this was the evening of the 31st December where Amy and I enjoyed a spicy hot pot with the last packet of sauce my friend Ellen delivered from China last year (or the year before….when was it!?). We also sipped on yoghurt-flavoured shoju but Amy gave up around 11pm. We had watched the Sydney Harbour fireworks at 8pm and that is when Amy considers the new year to have actually started for us, her heart still being there. I carried on building cities and shooting monsters and was up again pretty early the following morning.

On the Saturday a few of Amy’s friends and I got together at a cafe on the way to Mae Sai. It was busy there but we all ate our fill and lazed around, Amy knocking back a few Heineken’s and getting a little louder as she likes to do.

We decided to visit her old friend from Sydney who has a cactus farm nearby and he kindly gave us a couple for Amy’s collection.

We had to stop at a shop on the way home so that Amy could grab another beer and she organized herself to head on into the city for more food and alcohol! My sweetheart the drunk!

I left her to it but she came back much earlier than I expected, mentioning about some of her friends who insist that good luck only comes from going to the temple – something that particularly rubs Amy the wrong way. Amy believes in herself and all good and bad comes from within. Thai people are still very superstitious and like to put blame and benefit on things outside their control. Obviously, I agree with Amy’s point of view but I don’t let other people’s ideas like this rub me the wrong way, though I also don’t have to listen to them complain about their lives either!

Before this holiday I thought I’d like to do something artistic again and started off with sketching. I have more ideas for continuing this than I have time currently available – it could be a battle between sketching or video games. I hope to balance this effectively. So, I was quite happy and proud of my first sketch – just looking up from my little floor table where I was working.


Brain dump

Post-yoga workout, meditate. Thoughts focus on relationships at school and people’s personalities. Stop comparing, you are you and you are fine – you don’t have to be like George or Dylan or anyone. Being yourself is fine.

Tigger cries in the morning. My middle back aches, work on core. 10 Burpee’s was tough! Getting up was tough.

Little Kim sleeps next to my butt. So much time – enjoy it – use it. Feel good. Feel strong.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my body to struggle through doing 10 burpees this morning. It was slow going but I made it. I must carry on.

The best thing that happened today was to watch a student’s face look happy when knowing that they had learned and remembered how to say a word correctly. This always makes me happy.

Luring me with all the people I love above all else – 3rd September 2020

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Now is the time of change. After a long sticky summer and apparent death to all plant life suddenly the rains come. Despite the cooler temperature the humidity rockets making one wish for the drier heat of summer. After a week or so of the rains, those apparently dead plants now threaten to destroy everything built by humans, house swallowed up by jungle. Thankfully, the snakes go and hide from the rain; somewhere…they are always hiding. We call the gardeners, they do their work but it looks like they need to come back again the following week, the week after and so it goes.

And soon the rain deluges. Not much thought seems to be given to drainage. Perhaps it’s just an inconvenience for a month or two and not worth the investment but a lot of shoes get wet or you may choose to stay at school until the water has eventually seeped away.

Some creatures have little care for the foibles of the weather. They always find the right spot.

At the tail end of the season we head to a hot spring where we can soak our legs for free at varying degrees of insane heat. Kids play and splash in the 30 degree water while we suffer in the 45. No one is even close to the 85 degree water – who would be!? Predictably, whilst we are there, it starts raining. Later, at a restaurant, I can’t feel my legs. They are either relaxed or in shock. Either way, the no-feeling is good.

As if to signal the end of the rainy season (after a brief 6 to 8 weeks, though thankfully much more rain than last year) critters emerge.

Weird hairy caterpillars bumble about and the snakes make a reappearance. One morning as I’m leaving for work I’m surprised to find a couple of small crabs standing guard in the driveway. Amy says they usually live in the rice fields but to me it seems so weird to see crabs about 500kms away from any coast.

And so it seems the rain has ended until next July. We get out and pay a visit to the border market town of Mae Sai and shop for more socks and underwear and visit our favourite cafe/bar/restaurant.

This parrot announces our arrival like a door chime fog horn and I jump out of my skin. Other birds step out but thankfully don’t squawk.

The cafe is hidden away in a market, down a hallway that then opens out into this fantastic courtyard of artwork and decorations. All sorts of obscura adorn every space. In a shed area the owner keeps his batches of homemade hootch though he tells us that he was recently fined one hundred thousand baht and forced to pour it all away.

However, he disappears off somewhere for a few minutes and re-appears with a couple of bottles of plum shoju which are duly purchased. He remembers us from our last visit back in October and doesn’t seem to phased about his fine and lose of illegal merchandise. In fact the cafe is only open for 4 hours a day and I’m not sure anyone goes there to eat.

He potters around rearranging things, happy to chat about life but also happy to be alone by himself. He owns the whole market area and can easily survive of the income from rent. Nice life.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the toilet paper at DeLanna. Sometimes I forget to take paper to the bathroom at school and have to sit and wait for my bum to dry. Luckily, today the timing was right and I could use the facilities at DeLanna.

To-do list

  • Compliment someone ✅
  • 7-minute workout again ✅
  • Write a blog post during the day ✅

It’s now the 21st! I have gotten busy with my normal routine things but also added some yoga practice to my day. As well as home workouts, meditations and Thai practice getting a bit longer as I get better at them.

I’ve made myself busy again but I am also mostly happy these days. Writing here has gone by the way for now. I’ve even committed to some Thai lessons on Tuesday afternoons.

There are still some feelings and emotions that I would like to explore further but I’ll not push myself with them much at the moment. I will try to write here more often – maybe focus on particular things.

You need some kickin’, not just sittin’ – 28th August 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Busy day ahead but ready for it. Slept in the same position most of the night – must be tired out. Slept deep and well though – feel good – full workout this morning, proud of myself.

I do a lot – sometimes too much but the thing is that ‘I do’. Do something.

Gratitude Journal

I’m so happy and grateful for my deep sleep last night. I feel good.

To-do list

  • Keep that positive energy buzzing ✅
  • Full workout in the morning ✅
  • Compliments and awards ½
  • Blog posts and TCRAH recording on Sunday ✅

School on Friday was busy and rewarding. I had to take time out to talk to one student, Aon, because he was disturbing other students. He’s a good kid, pretty smart, but he can’t stop talking. After several warnings, I asked him to leave. He didn’t want to and I told him that’s OK if he’s not interested in my lesson but there are other students who are and he is stopping them from learning.

It was nice to see that everyone picked up on the gravity of this little time out. The rest of the class was fun.

Saturday afternoon Amy and I went to Mae Sai. I could feel that Amy wasn’t quite her usual happy self – but unhappy but a little sharp and direct in her conversation. She was happy again as we arrived at the market and quickly got to shopping and headed off to Chiang Saen for pizza. It was starting to get dark and I had a splitting headache.

At one point I went the wrong way and Amy got a little upset because I stopped and looked at Google Maps because I wanted to understand exactly where we were. She was right and I turned round and went in the right direction. The conversation died as I struggled to see the road but I wasn’t going to let Amy’s bad feelings affect me. I enjoyed listening to music and drove a little slower because I wanted to hear more.

Amy warmed up a little by the time we got home but I think by then we were both worn out and went to bed and to sleep. I was happy with the way I handled the situation and didn’t escalate any bad feelings. After all, it was only a slight issue. I think we understand each other well and we know our own, and each other’s, faults and behaviours very well.

Some might feel that our relationship is boring and stale but I think we are happy and understanding. I love this relationship so much.

Today (Sunday) I was happy to record two podcasts and sort out all sorts of little bits and pieces in my room. I’ll have to sort out those little annoying ants in there soon.

My days feel full but mostly without stress. I have lots of things I want to do but know I could drop dead tomorrow – really there’s no rush. It’s pretty insignificant in the scheme of things. I’m just happy to do what I’m doing whether it is interesting or not. I’m happy with this attitude.

We got that attitude! – 15th May 2020

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I am so happy and grateful for my ankle straps. They can’t fix my feet problem but they are helping a little bit.

To-do list

  • Relax into your role (in the role-play game and as a teacher) ½
  • Greet everyone – can you say more to them? ½
  • Offer your help ½

I neglected to write here over the weekend and pushing myself to do it now on Monday. Friday, Saturday, Sunday and even today were all extremely breezy.

On Friday we found out all the work we had been doing that week wouldn’t be used and that we won’t even be teaching online – just the Thai teachers will do that. No problem – I’m not thinking about the time I wasted – I still learned a few things doing it so, whatever.

And then today we turned up at school with a message that the videos we were due to make today are pushed back to Wednesday so now we have nothing to do at all!

We went for coffee for a couple of hours. Nice.

Saturday, I listened to music most of the day and Sunday, we went to Mae Sai and the big Japanese second hand shop in the morning and our first lunch out for a couple of months, It was very nice to do that and Amy and I enjoyed ourselves.

In the afternoon I started on the jigsaw that Amy had finished whilst listening to the Inner Engineering audiobook.

Ellen in Nanning has suggested using Zoom and maybe working online together.

I’ll talk with her more about that tomorrow. I sat with the Uni student teachers for lunch today and talked a lot with them. The other Thai teachers are all nice and friendly and mostly keep to themselves. It’s definitely a better feeling than in the Primary departments I worked in before.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #09 – 26th October 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Music from Flin Flon, Butthole Surfers, Rudi, Walt Mink, Trumans Water, The Residents, Flesh Narc, Meteoro, Andy Partridge, Girls Against Boys, Patrick Fitzgerald, Daniel Striped Tiger, Really Red, R.D. Burman featuring Asha Bhosle, Husker Du, Poison Dwarfs and The Lambrettas.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have the courage to explore the places we go and discover cool little cafe bars like this and meet their eccentric owners.

Mae Sai hidden cafe