Tag: Makro

No Art – 22nd January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 14 Comments

We put down our brushes
In search of gold stars
Our stick figures meaningless
If we can’t get a pass

Our caves are now bare
Or full of the perceived good
Those words we told ourselves
Have taken away our ‘could’

No teacher or priest were we
But everyone laughed
Still, we lighted a spark
And cultivated our craft

Inspired by a newsletter snippet titled ‘Why you stopped making art’ from David Elikwu. Added to dVerse here.

Today I’m feeling:

A little more awake and active than yesterday.  Feeling fairly positive but also a little anxious as if something might come along to get me down.  On the edge.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the different options available for muesli to buy.  I was disappointed to not find my favourite crunchy strawberry muesli today but at least there were lots of different options available, though somewhat more pricey.  I took a mid-range option but contemplated some of the others for when I’m back in the black.

The best thing about today was:

Being able to take the foot off the gas a little with my classes today and stretch out the work so that they had more time to contemplate, share with each other and understand in their own time.  Sometimes I expect and push too much so I wanted to make life a little easier for us all.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I made a trip to Makro because I ran out of yoghurt this morning but was disappointed to find they were out of stock.  I had to buy a different brand to last for a few days before going back to check again.  I sure hope they continue stocking it because it’s the best!

Something I learned today?

This journalling app is trolling me.  It’s been 22 days of prompts so far of ‘What is something something something this year?’  Just because the calendar starts on the first of January a year is still a year from NOW, whatever the date.  Why do I have to spend a month thinking about 2024?  I’m always thinking about the future.  I guess journal prompts do get repetitive anyway but I find this one particularly annoying.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave Noah some extra support and encouragement for her negative attitude towards Teacher David.  She needs to stay respectful and at least learn from her experiences even if she’s not learning English.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO
2. Don’t Complain. Complaining is the biggest waste of time there is. Either do something about it, and if you can’t, shut up about it.

This is something I have gotten better at over the years.  Being English it’s an extremely hard habit to break.  Moving to Australia in 1994 certainly helped as Aussies generally don’t put up with the stereotypical whinging poms.  I don’t remember ever being called out on it but I think their positivity rubbed off on me in general and the fact that there was certainly less to complain about in life in Australia, or at least it certainly seemed that way.

When I meet English people now though I find their complaining quite noticeable and can also fall right back into it myself.  It’s like a common bond we share.  Because I’m conscious of it though I do try to stop myself and counter any complaining with a positive view in response.

Yes, life is not all chocolates and roses but there’s no need to go on about it.  In fact, there’s no need to say anything.  Even if you are still thinking it, just keep your mouth shut.

I took this picture because I love to see freshly planted rice paddies like this. This is from Saturday – no new pictures today.

Larger Than Life – 15th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

No talent, stood up shouting
Through a mess of tangled hair
Full of lack and swagger
Full of piss and vinegar
Formed without much care

Stepped into condemnation
Head high and strutting
Full of vim and vigour
Larger than life, or bigger
Each word spat, cutting

When the heads were turning
By the energy propelled
The confidence was sung
As if it was just begun
And soon seen as excelled

inspired by the picture and words at The Red Hand Files #260

Today I’m feeling:

A little bit better than yesterday and better as the day goes on but still only at about 80%. My classes today were pretty straightforward so they didn’t stress me out too much.

Today I’m grateful for:

The parking guy at Makro who blew his whistle loudly for me to park and then took my trolley for me with more whistle-blowing. A happy whistleblower. I want a whistle too.

The best thing about today was:

Despite all the disappointing bits and pieces of news (other tidbits not mentioned here, minimal but adding up) today I’m not that bothered or annoyed. I’m here and have to just get in with sorting shit out.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

First, I got a message that I have to go and interview the P6 students to decide if they are suitable enough to come to junior high next semester. I did this before and it’s a waste of time but it’s easy enough for me to do and at least try to have some fun with some new students.

Second, Nancy called to tell me that as my work permit has been cancelled because of my visa that I won’t get paid! Ugh! The stupid systems here don’t make it easy for people to stay.

Something I learned today?

Nancy convinced me to do a non-B visa as it will resolve quicker so that I can get my work permit quicker and therefore get paid again. As part of that I have to supply a new resume. I updated it adding her company as TLC ‘English Teaching Agency’. She seemed to take umbrage at that description and advised it needs to say ‘Private School Outside System’! Ok, whatever. I know this is just some fancy wording that ticks the right boxes for the right people.

How do I want to be remembered?

It’s not something I have any control over so it’s not something to even think about. No doubt for every person who thinks nicely of me there will be as many dislike me. I’ll just keep being me and leave the memories of me to others.

I took this picture because I was only just found this note from Porpieng in a card she sent to me for my birthday. Her and her class stick long in my memory as being particularly able to be challenged to think and learn for themselves. Each successive class I’ve taught each year has diminished in capability, unfortunately. 

Under The Big Tree – 27th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

A revelation of the vastness
Of the universe
*In the scale of the world
Ego diminishes*

Sitting under this big night sky
Lonely but not alone
A life lived put into context
Must be made one’s own

Ten thousand years will pass
Turning all to dust
Footprints left waiting in the mud
Maybe seen by none
When gods decide on supernova
No one will wonder
About all the thinking
Under the big tree done

* quote from David Elikwu
Submitted to Reena’s Xploration Challenge #320

Today I’m feeling:

Sleepy, not helped by the fact that morning classes were cancelled so I had no flow going for that time. It’s super hot and humid and no one wants to study. I still have class this afternoon but luckily I talked with David who said that the class were behind in his work, whereas they are ahead in mine so instead of teaching them I can let them catch up for him. Happy happy.

Today I’m grateful for:

The English Cheddar cheese chips at Makro that hopefully will stay available and not just be a short trial to see how well they sell. They remind me a little of old England and the regular chips flavours that I grew up with like cheese and onion, salt and vinegar or ready salted. The flavour combinations here in Thailand are wild to me though obviously understandable. I sometimes need familiarity.

The best thing about today was:

Making some deeper connections with some of my quieter students in a more relaxed space than just in the classroom where their bored little faces stare right through me. It’s easy to connect with the studious ones and even with the ones who don’t understand anything but the quiet ones take a bit longer.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The whole school schedule is out of my control as I discover changes with very short notice and it has taken me some time to adapt myself to this. Now I’m more able to roll with the punches and today has certainly turned out in my favour.

Something I learned today?

Thaksin is due to come back to Thailand next month after 15 years in exile. I’m wondering if this could be a move to quiet any issues with the winners of the recent election not being part of the government? The machinations of politics in Thailand are difficult to follow but it all seems to come back to one word – corruption.

What would I like to accomplish soon?

This feels like a question for a younger person. Do I need to accomplish anything? Sometime soon, I need to clean my room and move my stuff back in there from the house. Hardly a big deal.

I don’t have any big goals or anything. I have plans but they are just things that will happen without much input.

I’d like to lose my belly fat but it also doesn’t really matter if I don’t because I can feel my health has improved in general. 

This feels like a tough question to answer for me right now.

Rista took this picture because she grabbed my phone to take photos of herself and Namkhing. This is my lizard eye. One that I never notice in my soft mirror at home. I must stop smiling.

Small Town Arkansas – 3rd July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

We don’t dream, we don’t ask for much
We live next door to our best friends
There’s nothing the community doesn’t touch 
We’re twenty years behind the trends

God gave us this blessing to enjoy
And thanks must be given by our deeds
The twisted roots may often annoy
But among them are nurtured the seeds

Marrying a best friend’s brother
Swelling further our congregation
Expelling all that worships the other 
And questions their role and station

We’re white, right and pious
Our satisfaction is easily met
Nothing evil will get by us
In God’s way, we’ve all been set

inspired after reading an interview with The Gossip in Punk Planet magazine
20th Nov 2024 – Shared with Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge – Nurturing

Today I’m feeling:

A little bit more upbeat than yesterday, thankfully. I feel like I’m going to succumb to an afternoon nap right now though (at 1 p.m.). 
(Later) Somehow I managed to stay awake and I’m pretty happy about that. I should sleep okay tonight.
I feel a little lazy and uninspired but also very comfortable in my lovely home.

Today I’m grateful for:

The salad seller at the market. I bought two, one with 3 small prawns and another with avocado. I mixed them both up along with sesame seeds and a packet of English Cheddar chips that I’d bought a stack of from Makro. Stirred through with two blasts of creamy salad dressing that made for a fine-filling fancy.

The best thing about today was:

Getting back into the guitar lessons on my app. Since I bought premium access more than a year ago it allowed me to play any song on the app which I’d been doing. I figured I was pretty much stuck on the lessons too but I have steadily improved enough to give them a good go. Slowly slowly.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Both our bathroom sinks are leaking again and I was hoping Amy’s mum’s plumber could come and sort them out but they advised me to figure out all the different things that needed doing in the house so he could come and do it all in one go rather than back and forth, which makes sense but also means no one will come until Amy is back and has checked everything that she wants done.

In the meantime, I took apart and cleaned all the pipes under my sink and shoved it all back tightly together but it needs proper sealing at the wall.

Something I learned today?

Messaging Aing today to see if she could come up from Bangkok to visit later this month she told me of her struggles since she has been back there. All her hopes and dreams have been shattered through no real fault of her own though she probably realises that she would have been better off saying no to certain things at some point. She wants to come back to Chiang Rai and I hope she can find a way in the future.

What have I been savouring lately?

Mostly writing and updating this blog. Every old entry I add feels like a ticking off of a box of the longest-ever to-do list. I’m adding diary and poetry entries from 1984 and it’s triggering lots of things. Currently, there is also a big gap of entries from around 1997 until 2004 which doesn’t have much written down but sure played a big part in my life. A time when I was living and loving with a lot less thinking.

I took this picture because for a while I couldn’t find Tigger. Sometime during the afternoon I went to sit at my computer and found his fat butt poking from behind the screen. I’ve never seen him up here before. What are you doing fat cat?

I Like To Move It – 7th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Our minds never stopped moving
When difficult roads need smoothing
What does not move is dead
Is what the greatest thinkers said
Let’s move ourselves to improving

inspired by Robert Greene’s Daily Laws and quoting Aristotle

Today I’m feeling:

Strangely filled with love and goodness. I was happy to wake up and exercise, feed our cats and whilst driving to work listen to a podcast about the Clash’s Sandinista album which reminded me how much I like that record.

Then I bumped into Paul at school who had just had a heart operation last week and was back at school already and though he looks about 60 he’s actually younger than me.

I met a few students and we made each other laugh, before getting in the car to go for coffee and listening to the Bangkok Podcast about an Englishman who went across land from the UK to Thailand via lots of other places.

Everything this morning just seemed interesting and worth knowing. I want to feel like this more.

Today I’m grateful for:

My little MacBook Air that I was able to quickly install Yousician and Capo so that I could bash around on the guitar again.

My iMac won’t even get to a login screen at the moment. I live in the vain hope of it starting again after a few days rest. But I fear machines are not humans.

The best thing about today was:

Getting a few lessons organised for next semester whilst sitting in the classroom with the few kids who came to sit there. They amused themselves with the usual things on their phones but I was happy to see one group of four who asked me to move as they were making a movie.

It was enjoyable to watch them acting especially when I asked them to do it in English and they made fun, imitating me, acting like I do in class.

I also had another really enjoyable talk with Hayden that made me think about going to visit him perhaps in April next year. He seems to be finding his feet in the world. Slowly we all work ourselves out.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There was no yoghurt at Makro! Oh no, disaster. My mind swirled around, what if they never get it again? I’ll have to change my diet. Well, let’s see. I dropped into Big C and got a couple of medium-sized pots but they may only last a couple of days. Yoghurt with muesli is a super easy and fast breakfast for me though. I hope Makro gets it back in stock again.

Something I learned today?

Whilst reading Affluenza, it suggests analysing your childhood deeply to understand more about your behaviour when it comes to wanting things. This made me think that I don’t really think I have finished my childhood yet! Perhaps what I’ve been doing these last few years has been my own self-analysis and along the way I have ‘cured’ myself a lot of wanting bigger, better and more.

However, I do find myself contemplating buying a nice new computer. As the book suggests though, I have to ask myself ‘do I really need it?’ My old computer has served me well for these last 10 years and I look at buying another to last me that long too. In its time it has allowed me to explore many different things with its advanced capabilities. Perhaps now though I am more settled on what I want my computer to be able to do so I don’t necessarily need something that is so overpowered and costly.

Oh, anyway, I’ve switched topics here. The point is that I still feel like I’m in my childhood. I don’t have the sense of awe and wonder in the same way as a child but I think I do have the open mind to most facets of life and living. That could also be down to just being in the right place, mentally and physically, these days. I will keep working things out. It will be a shame to reach a point where I feel that everything is worked out, that may be the end of my childhood phase.

What decisions have I made recently that make me proud?

Today I decided that I won’t buy any more ice cream from LungChom to eat with strawberries and yoghurt. It’s just too delicious but fattening! Even just writing this is making my mouth water and I’m considering changing my mind already! No! This is a decision that I will be proud of.

I took this picture because all baby animals are cute, whether human, bovine or something else; though perhaps unsure about fish.

Semantic Shift – 4th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Opinions formed around the scantest of facts
Reinforce the feeling to sit back and relax
Delegated control to the seats of power
Surveilled to submission from the tallest tower

Freedom enforced with lies told twice
Stock up on guns is the latest advice
The hole keeps growing for the empire to fall
Where democracy now means nothing at all

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and energetic

Today I’m grateful for:

This Chinese New Year peanut brittle I bought at Makro. It’s slightly crystallised from being in the fridge and is crunchy. I’ve eaten a whole tub today so I’ll be way over any normal sugar quota. My mum used to love peanut brittle, though had to stop eating it because of her teeth and dentures but I never liked it much back then.

The best thing about today was:

Having a list of household tasks to complete and getting them all done. No reading, writing or blogging today, though I did get in a bit of guitar.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The price of a cup of coffee has gone up at Utopia. What can I do? Buy less peanut brittle I guess.

Something I learned today?

I feel like I didn’t learn very much today! Or nothing particular that I didn’t already know or have an opinion on. One thing I remember from a couple of days ago was a comment about how the ‘international media ‘ as the West understands only covers about 15% of the world’s population. Hmmm…

What are three things I am grateful for today?

The fan that has been cooling me all day now that it’s humid again.
Bandcamp for having so much great music out there to discover. Today I found Focusrights who are awesome!
The hair bleach that I received from online shopping and had burned my hair a crispy yellow shade to disguise all the white.

I took this picture because it’s hot already and the cats are losing hair and staying cool by rolling onto their backs.

When I go for a stroll I always stay on the sidewalk, and I always wear a pair of nice warm boots – 15th March 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We wake up in the morning fresh and ready to go and by the end of the day, we are covered in dust. The dust of emotions, of work, of stress, of everything. 

– Daily Stoic email

Most days disappear too fast. I was busy – busy with what? I set myself small goals and challenges and cross them off at nightfall. The next day, do it again. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I am a machine and the dust gets in. Wash it away, wash this out of my life.

Talking of dust, it hasn’t rained here for 6 months, the land is cracking, grass clings to life but the jungle can still prevail. It doesn’t matter what gets thrown at it.

The sight of a big rat running around hopefully means the snakes are gone for now. Our lazy cats bring us gifts of small lizards and small birds, blood trailed across the kitchen floor.

Each evening we water the plants and trees, the sun red over the mountains, barely penetrating the thick smoke blown down from Myanmar and Laos. This is still the Wild East – laws often meaningless, common moral duties not learned in the chaos of the education systems.

We live in dust, breathe it in, poison for the lungs. But, we live.

A wise man said that you can’t step in the same stream twice,
But I find that wet feet soon get caked with sand and grit, that’s very unpleasant, especially between the toes…..

nomeansno

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to go outside again. It was weird to be outside again after two weeks at home.

To-do list

  • Record another TCRAH and finish off upload details ✅
  • Express your gratitude and happiness to see people ½
  • Do not judge people ✅
  • Finish installing Powerpoint ½
  • Chinese drawing

My first day outside in 2 weeks. It felt a little strange as I was riding to Utopia and this feeling of freedom and being able to go anywhere. It was good to catch up with everyone there – I think I should try and talk more with everyone who works there, maybe they think that I am not that friendly.

Anyway, the air quality sucks so it was back home and indoors again. For some reason, I woke up and got up at six thirty so actually managed to do a few things before even going out for coffee.

At around 10.30 it’s usually too hot and sunny to be outside but with the smoke so thick there’s an apocalyptic colour to the sky and only a vague idea of where the sun is. It was still hot but I took the opportunity to water our suffering plants and trees.

A trip out for lunch and re-stocks at Makro and I got a lot more done in the afternoon.

Back to school tomorrow. I want to try and maintain this good feeling I’ve had for the last two weeks even if having to deal with difficult people. This is my test.

I would like to go and help George with some lesson planning but I have a feeling that the lack of communication last week will end up getting dumped back on me in the morning (I was originally told that I would be able to start preparations back at CRPAO at this time). Oh well – let’s see how it goes and I’ll attempt to think before I speak.

Remember – things you can control and things you can’t control.