Marvin Heemeyer
was a reasonable man
with a bulldozer

A zoning dispute
a smouldering resentment
built a homemade tank

But there would be no
ride off into the sunset
for our man, Marvin

He had made his point
some thought unreasonably
some celebrated

I came across this story today…

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The following is a letter from January 05, 2025, delivered from the past by FutureMe

Dear FutureMe,

I went for my health check on Jan 2nd 2025, something which I had been planning to do for a while now due to starting to feel more like the old man I am becoming.

This thought was getting me down a little bit last night, especially as I spent the last week, at first, dizzy and at the end, nauseous. Amy was talking about ‘finding herself’ again by going to live in the UK for a while. I’m happy for her to do this but it made me think about myself and my current drive and enthusiasm. Have I already ‘found myself’? If that is so, then what next?

Anyway, the health check all reported well which is good to know but at the same time has me thinking about what it is that is wrong with me, in the way that I am often just feeling under the weather.

As I have been writing blog entries from all across my life I can see that this has been consistent since my youth. Could it all be in my head? Am I a hypochondriac? What made me this way?

I notice that I am mostly happy, upbeat and positive when I’m at school and when I have that routine of having to be at certain places at certain times. When I have the freedom to choose, I take the lazy option and cannot find the drive I need.

Am I being too hard on myself? Am I a high achiever, or just never quite satisfied?

The health check that came back positive seems to have more questions than it might have answered. Perhaps that’s what I am waiting for. The answer.

As I’m still having a little trouble peeing, often having to milk out the last drops, I have a rectal examination to look forward to in a couple of weeks’ time. With any cancer seemingly already ruled out from the health check is this just the first sign of my body’s decline that I have to look forward to?

I guess I have to make some things to look forward to and in some ways I already have, they are just not in focus for me at this time.

I think I’m slowly talking my way out of whatever this little funk is. Everything will be ok. Or at least, everything will be.

I hope that you are looking after yourself.
Love, me.