Bucket Of Life – 11th November 2023

It’s a labour of love, not big dreams
But about what being human means
Sticking a dollar in the cup, passing through
This is all a gift from me to you
And back again, that’s our reflection
Open to each other’s introspection
In for a penny, in for a pound
Let’s pass the bucket of life around


Today I’m feeling:

A good vibe. This morning is not too hot. I lazily prepared for the day by rolling back and forth in bed due to stiffness finally getting up and mosying along to Utopia for a delicious throat-soothing coffee. Art told me about his ride to Doi Ang Chang and it looks like a great ride so I messaged Bruno to plan to go there next weekend.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s dad feeling good enough to come out to Central and eat at the seafood restaurant there, where we treated him for his birthday, Amy’s mum for selling her apartments and Nong Aun (Amy’s brother’s girlfriend) for getting a job as a teacher here.

The best thing about today was:

The first coffee was pretty spot on. Meeting Baipad’s mum, sister and three super cute cats was fun.

The fish speciality at Laem Charoen was delicious for lunch. The afternoon and evening are a relaxing chill-out. It’s been a good day.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My sore throat was getting me down a little at times today but I finally got to rest a little for an hour or so after lunch and it’s improved a little since taking some medicine. I dealt with it by soldiering on and despite feeling a little grumpy I don’t think it showed that much.

Something I learned today?

A theory behind renewed conflict in the Middle East is to cut off oil to China. A terrorist attack is said to be rumoured on US soil that will trigger them into war with Iran.

This whole ridiculous idea seems more likely every day. The US is putting all its pieces into play in preparation. The US is isolating itself more and more from the rest of the world and the rest of the world is looking forward to its downfall.

Whilst people were scoffing at the idea of the end of the Empire last year, this view is now going mainstream.

What’s on my mind right now?

This morning I will go and meet my student Baipad and her mum to introduce myself as her teacher. She lives in our village and since opening up to me about her struggles with being bullied in primary school and her father passing away a few years ago I’ve tried to encourage and support her. As she lives close by I suggested that once a week I can bring her home from school and hopefully introduce her to Amy so she can pick up on some confidence-building skills and keep up her English, which she is pretty good at in general. 

I took this picture this morning because this oversized asparagus-looking plant is so big that I had to wide angle the shot to get it all in the picture. The multiple mini flowers are cute though not the spectacle-worthy of a stalk growth of this size.

Wonderland – 25th October 2023

Pinned to the floor, mouth full of dirt
Listening carefully for the next scream or roar
Unable to feel hurt, waiting for a hand
To pull back up to the new wonderland

No feeling in the toes, eyes red and wet
Blood pulses slowly down the nose
It’s not over yet, a forever-shifting sand
Every day a vision of this wonderland

Darkness surrounds, night is as day
Sharing space in these sacred grounds
Desperate again to play, desperate again to stand
Amongst the ruins of this wonderland

In and out of sleep, time for final dreams
All the promises no one was able to keep
Who knows what it means when it was all planned
And the devils came to play in this wonderland

24th Jun 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango


Today I’m feeling:

Sleepy but alive. As my body slowly revives from another rude awakening I’m sitting outside watching birds searching through the long grass for snacks or useful detritus for nest building, which I’m grateful to see they are taking full advantage of all our trees and safe nooks.

Today I’m grateful for:

Aing, Now and their two friends who helped look after our house and cats and best of all were very quiet and gentle so that us and our cats weren’t disturbed.

The best thing about today was:

Sushi buffet for dinner that I had saved up my hunger for, only eating a couple of pieces of bread around lunch time.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Having our house back to ourselves has set Amy off on a cleaning frenzy despite being tired and full after dinner and this leads to lots of ‘do this, get that, get this, do that’ to which I oblige and after a little while say ‘anything else?’ hoping that there isn’t!

Something I learned today?

Talking with my student Baipad I found out that she is part Lahu and of Chinese descent. I only discovered this when she told me she was staying in a village somewhere and when I looked it up it was the Lahu village that Bruno and I stopped at the time we rode out to Tha Ton.

What’s an opinion I held for a long time but changed?

When I was younger I ignorantly believed in freedom and anarchy. I say ignorantly in that I just didn’t know enough about it but I believed in the good of people in general, to help each other and make it work.

Age brings cynicism! I understand the appeal of less governance but ultimately I feel as if it is from the perspective of Western self-centredness and that leaves a lot of places for some to be left behind. Over time I’ve come to appreciate the ‘benevolent dictatorship’ of China, if I can call it that.

A well-governed country may not satisfy everyone when it comes to freedom but it seemed ironic to me when visiting that there was a feeling of more freedom in China than there wass in Australia (though I appreciate this was speaking as a guest).

Thailand is also way more relaxed in its rule of law, which has its upsides and downsides, of course. The government here is also not quite so benevolent to its people, or as well organised.

Governments that are corrupted are the scourge of the planet. It doesn’t matter what form the take. Corruption is the key.

All The Same – 1st June 2021

The social conscience is a power machine
Human instinct drawn to a higher scheme
No matter the culture, society or elite
It’s the eyes of God on every street


Weight: 77.3kg
Resting heart rate: 62


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my own will and determination. To stay happy, calm and focused as much as I can despite the mental inconsistencies running through my brain. I fought through the pressures of preparation yesterday without panic or depression so today, despite all the testing times to come, I have confidence in my abilities.