Tag: money

Youthful Idealism – 10th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Where’s my youthful idealism?
I fucking want it back
Now I’m old and tired
I’d rather just hit the sack
Why am I not shouting?
Thinking to make change
Wanting the best for everyone
Surely is not so strange
When did I give up?
Did I just get distracted?
Now I’ve got what I want
And I’m no longer impacted
Where’s your youthful idealism?
Why aren’t you complaining?
My life is almost over
But yours is still remaining

How to stop time: kiss.
How to travel in time: read.
How to escape time: music.
How to feel time: write.

Matt Haig, Reasons To Stay Alive

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and on holiday
Today I’m grateful for:
The men who cleaned my bike. I know I could have done it myself but I wouldn’t have been so thorough.
The best thing about today was:
Getting some more blog stuff done whilst listening to music. Also finishing another book. I still look at my bookshelf with joyful anticipation for future reading.

Do you owe someone money? Does someone owe you?
I don’t owe money to anyone or any institutions. I am debt free.

I guess some people do owe my money but it’s in the past and doesn’t amount to much in the scheme of things.

I generally live by the rule that if you lend someone twenty dollars and never see them again then it was probably worth it.

Of course, I loaned out much more substantial amounts to bands in the past and mostly managed to chase down outstanding amounts.

If I loan or lend anyone money now, which is rare, I don’t expect to see it again but happy if it does get repaid. This is only because I am now financially secure. Let’s hope it stays that way.

I took this picture because this is the cleanest I have seen my bike since buying it. It was worth the 45 baht expense!

Sacred Solitude – 29th January 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I must nourish myself to face the world
I’m always on the way to my home
I’m happy to have myself as my best friend
I’m never lonely when I’m alone

6th Mar 2024 – Submitted to Moonwashed Musings
11th Sep 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge

All it takes to get better at something is first a willingness to be bad.

Austin Kleon

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to all the people, technology and coordination that enable Amy to fly from here to Australia this weekend. It is not that long ago that this would be difficult to imagine.

I’m at home now, alone. Amy will be in the air on the way to Bangkok. The first hour at home. Have rearranged the living room and bedroom furniture a little as I will exercise in the bedroom in the morning now. Save a minute of time as I figure out a new routine for the working week.

It feels weird to have some freedom, or almost complete freedom (except for financial). Have I gotten used to the pseudo-authoritarianism of a loving relationship? Of course, whilst I’m free to do whatever I like, I will not do anything that would damage my and Amy’s relationship.

After saying goodbye at the airport, I dropped by Big C and bought some pomelo and had forgotten that there’s a B2S there and so splashed out on two new pens to replace those that ran out or broke last week. An 80 baht extravagance. I have to get carfeul with money. I’m already running coffee credit at House and Utopia until I get paid again. Need petrol for the bike and the car. It’s a test.

25th Feb 2026 – 4 years and a month later, I’m still running credit at House and Utopia – though not the same one. I do pay it off every month.

What To Do? – 5th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Son, I learned a lot of lessons in life
I should pass them on to you
But you don’t want to listen to me
Too old to know what you go through

*You’re going to learn things the hard way
That’s how I learned them too*
One day, you too will realise this
And then you’ll also wonder what to do

*pinched from Drive Like Jehu’s ‘Caress’

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Gui and Art for allowing me to get coffee on credit for a few days while I wait for payday. It’s not that I don’t have money but that I can’t let the amount in the bank go under 400,000 baht for my visa application.

Well, I thought about telling George as I wrote yesterday but then this morning he saw me down one of the hallways and didn’t wave or say hello at all. I shouted out hello but he’d stepped out of sight. Well!

So, anyway, I went into the teacher’s room where he was sitting and said good morning directly to him to which he replied with a quiet disposition. I got some water and as I was leaving asked him how he was keeping. As has been the case almost every time I try to start a conversation with him I have to repeat the question again as if he wasn’t listening, paying attention or couldn’t hear. I asked him about Bee and said I missed her. It wasn’t going to get much beyond platitudes.

Anyway, I made an effort. I appreciate that for myself.

School Of Life – 4th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Even as a teacher, I am still a student of life
My own students teach me many things
Don’t take any learning for granted
Enjoy the satisfaction new knowledge brings

7th Mar 2024 – Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 38

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the money I receive for my work. It helps us enjoy nice things when we would like.

Just looking back to this time last year I can see how happy I was with teaching at this school. Of course, it’s nothing to do with the school but to do with the students. They make it all worthwhile.

I saw that I was grateful to George for helping me get this job and it is only since then that I am aware of the differences between us. I rarely see him at school at the moment and haven’t talked to him for weeks, beyond hello and goodbye. I’m thinking I should at least make an effort to thank him again. It will be awkward but doable. It would make me feel good and perhaps do the same for him (not actually sure about that).

I had a really great experience with 2/9 this morning – the same kids I mentioned this time last year. We have been studying the story of the Eagle and the chickens, about the eagle who grows up with chickens and never gets to really achieve his potential, content just to be a chicken.

Many of the students answered the question about the moral of the story being that it is best to accept things and fit in. This took me a little by surprise and I had to explain about the different cultural thoughts around these things. As a teacher, I am still a student. I love that.

I would like to be able to explain to them more clearly about what I feel is the meaning of this story and encourage them to break free and fly higher. Awesome.

We got that attitude! – 29th November 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for the money I have behind me. I’m not rich by any means but have enough to do most anything that I want to do. Things would be a lot different if it wasn’t there.
I am so happy and grateful to have a friend with the same child-like wonder that I still have. We went for a long bike ride into the mountains, we didn’t talk much but were happy to be exploring the world with each other.

We got that attitude! – 12th May 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful to be working and getting paid but also having time to spend sitting by the river in the morning.

To-do list

  • Send card to Fern ✅
  • Speak even less today ½
  • Pick up a gift for the student teachers

At the intersection where I planned to pick up a gift, the lights were out so no one was out selling! I’ll try again tomorrow.

At times during today, I felt very tired and unable to think of things to add to conversations. At other times, I noticed when talking about my experiences in the school, then I think I was saying too much.

We got that attitude! – 28th February 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful to be able to afford to fly to visit my friends.

Hanlon’s Razor – never attribute to malice what be attributed to stupidity.

To-do list

  • Follow usual morning routine ✅
  • Wear make everywhere ✅
  • Meditate ✅
  • Find out about SIM card ✅
  • Enjoy time with Epit and his kids ✅

It was a terrible start to the day as Amy and I fought over money and my travelling. I was so upset I wanted to cancel my plans and not go to KL. I don’t feel like Amy’s frustrations are really about money or me travelling but more connected with her feelings about Thailand.

I want to suggest to her that she goes back to Australia later in the year and work there for three months and see how she feels. Something has to change.

My plan now is to try and enjoy 12 months more of teaching in the school and if I can’t get on with it then I will stop and just teach at home and online. I think Amy can go back to Australia and work if she really feels like money is going to be a big problem. It doesn’t have to be for six months at a time but that’s up to her.

Another possibility is that she really gets behind teaching at home. I feel like she hasn’t really invested herself into it to make it a viable income yet.

The other thing we should do is to sell the house. I’m sick of always having to think about money and if it is spoiling our happiness even when we live in a beautiful home then we can live anywhere. It doesn’t matter. So long as I can have a space to call my own and a happy Amy then that’s what I want.

Have you got 10p? – 19th February 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful to my aching feet. They suffer but are still going. My aching hips, just working. My dodgy knee, my crooked neck, my weak wrists. One day so these pains will be gone. So will I.

What decides whether a sum of money is good? The money is not going to tell you.

Epictetus, Discourses

To-do list

  • Finish Kru Noon’s card ½
  • Start picture for Tian
  • Start spreadsheet for WDS tour ✅
  • Listen to Donald Robertson lecture ½
  • Plan to take Amy to OK@Chiang Rai ✅

In a much more positive frame of mind today. The knowledge of no longer working in this school has taken the pressure off but it is making me wonder why I can’t just think like that all the time? I’m hoping that the move to a new school and position will give me the fresh approach I need. I tried to do that this semester and was only somewhat successful. Now I have a little more experience under my belt.

I will have a job interview tomorrow and hopefully, that will go well. I should take a notebook with me and make notes. I don’t think I’ll ask too many questions and will suggest some ideas I have based on some textbooks I found useful today too.

I chatted for about 20 minutes with Fred this morning and we discussed the failings of the schools in Thailand and our different methods of dealing with it. I am quite aware that my method is not the best way. I must learn the way that can keep me calm and happy and at the same time try to do my best for the students.

I’m giving myself another 12 months to see if I can turn things around for myself. I will try to do this by remembering how George deals with things and consciously putting them into practice. I feel like some of the pieces of the puzzle are coming together today. I feel strong enough to be able to deal with things. I just hope I can maintain this when difficult situations arise.