Forgetting how shadows fell to the ground
When winds blew the dust without a sound
A solution so final was finally found
And everyone thought ‘never again’
But it wasn’t a matter of if but when

3rd Apr 2024 – Submitted to My Vivid Blog

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Today I’m feeling:

Good in the morning after excellent coffee and a pleasant drive to Paew’s shop for the blessing lunch which was fine until I started to flag at about one pm.

I came home first and hopped into bed listening to jazzcore as I like to do on lazy weekends. I let the crazy music guide me into light lucid dreams occasionally lulled deeper.

Amy woke me up with all her friends coming back here to carry on the drinking and celebrating which is fine with me so long as they leave me out of it. I’ve hidden in my cave until it quiets down a little before trying to get to bed.

Today I’m grateful for:

Paew’s dad who is always happy to see me and practice his English despite every time I see him he is drunk and says the same things over. I can feel that he is sincere though.

The best thing about today was:

Finding that there are two new issues of Love and Rockets to read and also grabbing the last year’s worth of 2000ADs which I may get to reading in about five years’ time at the rate I’m going. I love comics.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy was happy that I was not bothered about her bringing her friends home to party despite me not feeling 100% and tired. It’s not a big deal. Our house is ideal for entertaining and has only been filled with me and the cats for most of the last two years. 

I noticed a bit more recently that my hearing has deteriorated and I especially struggle when there’s lots of surrounding noise like there was at the lunch this afternoon. Maybe it will encourage me to listen more carefully.

Something I learned today?

Paew and Mee will go back to Bangkok soon. We thought that they might stay a while longer but it seems that despite living with their family the internal politics are causing them problems that are easier avoided by distance. We hoped they might just move out of the family home and stay somewhere nearby but that seems to have changed.

What is my favourite song right now?

I don’t listen to songs over and over like I used to. The only time I do that now is when playing along to songs on my guitar to practice my playing. I could still list about 50 songs that are favourites in that regard.

What are my personality traits?

I’ve been kicking this one along for a week or so. As the question is worded, my flippant answer is ‘all of them’ as surely we possess all the traits to some degree or other.

As I searched for a list of traits online to guide me to answer this question, it seems established that there are five main traits but diving deeper provides lists of anywhere between 20 and 721. So I thought I’d find an online test or two and see what the internet thinks my personality is.

Even this was a little disconcerting though as depth is difficult to consider. A question will trigger a memory where I would strongly agree or disagree with it at that particular time.

Yes, I need to answer the question as I feel about it right now but the past also has contributed to my current personality. All the doubts and worries of the past that I no longer have have made me what I am today. 

First result:

Advocate INFJ-A 

Advocates are quiet visionaries, often serving as inspiring and tireless idealists.

62% introverted – Introverted individuals tend to prefer fewer, yet deep and meaningful, social interactions and often feel drawn to calmer environments.

Advocates (INFJs) may be the rarest personality type of all, but they certainly leave their mark on the world. Idealistic and principled, they aren’t content to coast through life – they want to stand up and make a difference. For Advocate personalities, success doesn’t come from money or status but from seeking fulfilment, helping others, and being a force for good in the world.

59% INTUITIVE

41% OBSERVANT

Intuitive individuals are very imaginative, open-minded, and curious. They value originality and focus on hidden meanings and distant possibilities.

47% THINKING

53% FEELING

Feeling individuals value emotional expression and sensitivity. They place a lot of importance on empathy, social harmony, and cooperation.

63% JUDGING

37% PROSPECTING

Judging individuals are decisive, thorough, and highly organized. They value clarity, predictability, and closure, preferring structure and planning to spontaneity.

71% ASSERTIVE

29% TURBULENT

Assertive individuals are self-assured, even-tempered, and resistant to stress. They refuse to worry too much and tend to be self-confident when striving to achieve goals.

I’m not going to disagree with these results but also can’t help feeling that they seem horoscopic in that the words are generalised to a point that they could apply to anyone.

Second result:

The Lively Center of Attention

Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who’s constantly in the centre of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who’ll always cheer them up and help them out.

This quiz was much less academic than the first. I can adapt the results to apply when it comes to dealing with my students but they don’t seem to equate much to the results of the first.

Ok, let’s try one more. This one is way more detailed.

Third result

Well, I took 10 minutes to answer 100 questions and at the end, the website wanted 20 dollars before giving me the results. Never mind.

What does that tell you about my personality? I’m a cheapskate and what some website thinks my personality might be isn’t that important to me.