Haunted By The Living – 27th December 2023

December 27, 2023September 4, 2024 ~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

She’s forever standing next to me
Begging me with bitter sad smiles
Everywhere I turn, the memory
Kept as treasure in my mind’s files

She’s out there still, ten thousand miles away
Taunting me with her continued silence
I only wish that there was something to say
To return her back to this lonely island

Some parade photos. Students and teachers had been at school all night preparing costumes and make-up. What a palaver, my mum would say.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good and looking forward to the sports day event so that when I got to school I surveyed the parade for all my students, many of whom were difficult to spot as they were dressed up so fancily that I couldn’t recognise them at all!

I slept badly because of my aching shoulder and woke many times laying on my back and when Amy didn’t stir after I exercised I shook her foot and she complained of lack of sleep too due to my snoring. It’s possible the exercises I’m doing are aggravating my shoulder too much and it is not recovering from whatever stress or strain that I have given it.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kwang, Premier and Program again. I spotted them in the parade and they grabbed me and insisted I walk with them which I did for a little while. As Premier and Program let go, Kwang still held on and out of the blue said quietly ‘I miss my dad.’ Sigh.

The best thing about today was:

The feeling of excitement and happiness in the whole school celebrating sports day. In the past, I’ve usually left after an hour or so and gone home but this time, with an hour and a half break at House I stayed until around 2.15pm.

I was on my way to leave at around midday but got sucked back into staying and ended up trying to find Funfai whilst other students dragged me around to watch all the team’s cheerleader routines, partly because I had an umbrella they could shelter under.

Something I learned today?

Listening to the You Don’t Know Mojack podcast today, they were interviewing Chris Shary who is an artist that works with The Descendents and All. What was interesting was how he was a high schooler in Ipswich, UK and hung around with the Stupids, even singing with them near the end of their run. Pretty much useless information but of a little interest to me in discovering more about how everything is interconnected in our little weird music world.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Congratulating everyone who had dressed up for the day. Encouraging others to cheer and do their best in their competitions. Commiserating with the few who were bored or cold whilst waiting for things to get going.

What was the biggest risk I took this year?

Lending $1600 to Ad Interim so that they could get their album made. I only knew Max through acquaintance but I liked the band’s music and made the deal for repayment within 12 months and he was good enough to get it paid off within three or four months. I’m happy to work with people like this. I can’t offer a lot when it comes to marketing and distribution but can at least support artists with funds for production.

Do you think that most people are doing the best they can?

I borrowed this question from The Red Hand Files where Nick Cave simply replied with the answer ‘No’ which surprised me a little and made me consider why he replied that way.

Even though it seems that there is only tragedy in the world and so many bad people acting in bad ways when I look around my own personal environment I believe most people are doing the best they can.

We can all do better, and all try harder, I guess (maybe that is why Nick Cave answered no to the question) but here, for many people, they are still struggling to get by.

Maybe it’s the difference between living in a first-world country and a third-world one. Maybe in a first-world one, we expect more of each other and in the third-world folks are doing the best they can in the circumstances.

Bebe took this picture because she grabbed my phone and I just let her take as many pictures as she wanted. I like this one the best because Baibua has a big smile which she doesn’t usually show for me. Namfon, in the middle, has become a favourite student of mine because although we both know she may never be good at English she will now try her best and that is the main lesson to learn. Bebe is on a similar trajectory but still gets very distracted in class, though usually in a way that cracks me up. It’s hard to assert authority when you are laughing so much yourself.

Johnny Two Doors Down – 22nd December 2023

December 22, 2023March 21, 2024 ~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s the offer of a night to remember
Riding around with the hood down
A petrol romance in a warm September
Exploring every corner of the town

Further out into the smaller hours
The soundtrack radio begs the stirring song
“It’s just me, you and the night flowers
We’re right where we belong”

Johnny, he’s furnished with all the skills
But the pleasure here is a book
These are a different set of thrills
A reward for the patience took

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

A bit stronger than yesterday. My exercise was easier and it put me in a bright mood which I hope continues throughout the day. I know I’m tired but I don’t have the feeling yet. Perhaps because I’m ‘on-the-go’. If I sat and relaxed somewhere it might be a different matter but the plan is for no relaxation today!

Today I’m grateful for:

My lip balm. One time a year I need it, just when the air cools and gets drier.

The best thing about today was:

In my first class, Baibua was wearing a bootleg Iron Maiden sweatshirt. Thailand has lots of knockoffs like this and people wearing them have no idea what they mean or represent. Anyway, I asked her if she liked Iron Maiden to which she just looked at me blank-faced. Namfon joined and she couldn’t understand either. Eventually, I pointed to the shirt and even knowing what I was talking about neither of them knew what Iron Maiden was. Well, let’s do some teaching. I searched YouTube for The Number of the Beast video and blasted it through the room speaker to everyone’s laughter and my pleasure. What a way to start the school day.

Also, watching some of my students playing football after classes finished and chatting, and playing with everyone around. It was a good atmosphere, everyone happy and having fun.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There was a lot of plan-changing going on today, for things happening today and tomorrow. I’ve gotten used to it now and don’t get annoyed at some plan that has been made that isn’t quite what I feel up for. More than half the time the plan changes back to nothing or something I’m more interested in. The rest of the time I just accept my fate.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I rubbed the hands of some students who were cold throughout the day. Skinny Nicha in particular has no fat whatsoever to keep herself warm. I told her to jump up and down which she did for a little while before hugging herself around my arm.

What are five positive characteristics about Amy?

Happiness. I first noticed Amy at the cafe where I daily bought my double-shot cappuccino because she was always happy. Many pretty girls were working there and I could have chosen to talk with any of them but I chose Amy. One of the first things I said to her was ‘Why are you always so happy?’ Because it’s pretty much the opposite of my default mode at the time. She just replied ‘I’m a happy girl.’ Well, this sounded like someone whose influence I could enjoy.

Outgoing. Amy is somewhat extroverted but not in an obvious way. She told me that when she was still in high school her friends couldn’t believe that she would just go up to foreigner strangers in bars and start talking with them. She has no fear in this regard and can make friends easily.

Hardworking. When she has a goal in mind she will work hard towards it. From running her own business in Thailand to moving countries, studying, cooking and more lately housekeeping – she puts all she has into it.

Good with money. Amy has always managed to budget well even in what seem like difficult circumstances. And she can still enjoy herself without fear of spending money when it makes her feel good. I’m happy for her to take care of our finances.

Loves cats (and good dogs!). A first judgement can be made on many people by their love of animals. A love of animals shows the ability for compassion. Amy will do anything for our cats.

I took this picture because Hayden called me as I was talking with these students and they all shouted hello to him. I figured he might like to see his new fans, Sarah, Toey, Iphone, Pump and Ozone.

Terrible Kissers – 21st November 2023

November 21, 2023October 10, 2024 ~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

I’m saying goodbye to all the terrible kissers
Crazy roommates and sideways pissers
No more mental breakdowns for me
I’m handing the landlord back the key

Moving on from fast food dates
Working minimum wage cleaning plates
I’m tired of all the dreams I’ve dreamt
That I never had time to attempt

But finally, the time has come for me
To make the trip towards a different sea
The school of life has me graduating
Beyond the realms of just contemplating

The terrible kissers will be a reminder
To treat myself and others kinder
Four winters and summers now past
The time is right to move on at last

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions
10th Oct 2024 – Shared with Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge – Leaves

Today I’m feeling:

Ok but still coughing a little. When I got to school I found that one of my classes has 15 students off sick today! Amy is coughing and has a sore throat now too.

Today I’m grateful for:

My student Lydia for expressing her appreciation for my class today which was about vowel sounds.

I was also grateful to Tulip, who I moved from the back of the class to the front, which she was extremely unhappy about but then excelled in her interactions and was full of smiles.

I messaged her later to see how she felt about it and she gave positive feedback. I hope it encourages her for the future.

The best thing about today was:

A steady diet of happiness, many happy positive moments without one standing out.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I turned up to an empty classroom for my first class of the day, only then finding out that they had to go off to some meeting for the morning.

It would be nice if the kids learned about planning and communication so that when they become adults they can plan and inform people like me that get frustrated about its lack!

Nevermind. Five hours before my next class. Let’s drink coffee!

Something I learned today?

I read it on the internet so cannot claim it is true but this text said that supermarket apples can be up to one year old. After picking they are covered in wax, hot air-dried and placed in cold storage.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent supportive messages to Tulip, Khawhom, BB and Namfon after our class today.

I encouraged my grade 10 students when they sulked after I gave them a more difficult option and then proceeded to do very well anyway, so I gave them positive feedback.

I helped supply a couple of forgetful students with pens this morning.

I helped Amy without complaint immediately after getting home. She had been sweeping up leaves and wanted me to finish off and throw them over the fence.

What deserves my energy and focus right now?

Now I’ve settled on Thaipod101 for my Thai studies and will stop with the other apps for now. I have a two-year subscription and must focus on pushing forward with it. I have the routine and habit in place and the belief that I can do it. So, this is not just ‘right now’ but it does start ‘right now’ and ‘right now’ every day!

I took this picture because I was thinking I should try to identify this dead snake that Amy found near our terrace. It was hard to say why it was dead. There were no obvious wounds except a little blood around its mouth.

Old Man Of Twenty One – 4th August 2023

August 4, 2023February 8, 2024 ~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I was from there, but you came from here
And now we’re here you want to leave
Beyond our borders, greener grasses
Chasing after the things that we believe

The world is sure bigger than we understand
To dip toes in the sand or look out from the hill
People leaving for ports unknown
And then we feel as if we’re standing still

For miles and miles, watch the Earth curve
And start running towards all your dreams
But one day, we arrive and reminisce
For the days when nothing was what it seems

Yesterday I was seventeen and tomorrow I’ll be dead
Pretending to be adult til that’s what I became
Dismissing the words of my all-knowing elders
Who’d long since been through the same

Those times we thought we were at the centre
And everything was made for us to hold
Now understood to be just youthful wishes
With the wisdom that came from getting old

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions and its connection with my own experience.

Today I’m feeling:

Really good. An easy day with a nice long gap between easy classes. With only about 6 hours of good sleep last night, I knew I was tired but was able to just remain laid back and go with the flow.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy persisting in hugging me last night before arousing me from my lucid dreams and into a delicious tangle of hips and limbs before we even managed to kiss. 30 minutes later and I was happily drifting into crazy dreams for far too short a time.

The best thing about today was:

From my ab workout and muesli yoghurt breakfast until sitting in this cool aircon before sleeping it’s been a day of feeling happy and spreading a little happiness around. A little bit of joy was shared between us all.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

One of my students, Namfon, couldn’t do work in my class yesterday because she had no internet connection on her phone. This morning I asked her to come and talk to me and Kru Karn because I wanted to know how we could fix the situation. I could tell Kru Karn was really short with her and blaming her and Namfon started to look dejected and almost teary. I felt sorry for her but also wanted her to know that a solution had to be found. When we went back to class I tried to comfort her and she did eventually come round to a little smile.

In my afternoon class lovely little Nicha had a cry too because, although she didn’t admit it to me until later, she couldn’t understand the work I wanted her to do. There was a lot of work and other students were too busy to help her. She told me her frustrations and again I tried to comfort her and she impressed me with being able to read more words this year. Even though she is one of the older kids she hasn’t really matured yet and, sadly, she’s been left behind in her class. It is a frustrating situation for everyone because she could easily slip through the cracks and deserves a better chance than what is on offer.

Something I learned today?

Again with students, I saw Fah in class today and she looked lost in thought and upset about something which is unusual for her. When I bumped into her l asked her about it and she couldn’t explain in English and just said รำคาญ which I later looked up to find means annoyed. I’m learning language in use.