Tired and a little dizzy. For some reason last night, I couldn’t get to sleep until about 5 am, not just usual tossing and turning but first with a headache and then a feeling of being wide awake. It was annoying and my thoughts were generally dull and nostalgic. I’m totally out of whack today but forced myself up at 9 though skipped exercise.
Today I’m grateful for:
Having a month off work and not having to spend much money on petrol meant that I had enough money left to be able to buy more cat food today.
The best thing about today was:
Getting into the garden at 6 pm and replanting the little tree that was in a pot but whose roots meant that it kept getting blown over. I don’t know if it will make it where I’ve planted it but at least it standing upright again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Definitely my sleep. It’s pretty unusual for me to not be able to fall asleep easily these days and I also need to get back into my working-week sleep pattern again soon.
Something I learned today?
It’s near the end of the League Championship football season and Ipswich are in third place with two games to play. Leicester are in first place, also with two games left and Leeds are second with only one game to play.
Any of these three could finish first but I just want Ipswich to get promoted to the Premier League. I doubt that they will fair well there but if they can hang around for a few years that would be good.
I’m still surprised that Bournemouth is in the EPL and Southampton in the Championship.
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
Not napping in the afternoon was a bit of a challenge but I managed it and fingers crossed I can sleep ok tonight. As the day has gone on I have felt an improvement in my mood which is a good sign.
Little Art took this picture of Piti, which I’m spoiling.
A bit weird after forcing myself out of bed at 8 am. I kinda expected to get things done today but after coffee I ended up vegging on the sofa and wrote off the day.
I think I felt like I had achieved my aim for the day by getting up that I didn’t bother with anything else.
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy coming up with the idea to go for a bike ride at around 5 pm. It was good to get up and out.
The best thing about today was:
That bike ride was good but probably the best thing was tucking into coconut ice cream a couple of times.
Something I learned today?
In one day US cops arrested more protesters (protesting their country’s involvement in the genocide of Palestinians in Gaza) than China has in a year or even longer. And that is with China having at least 500 protests around the country every day. Different ways of dealing with things….
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
Getting up early was a little challenging considering my holiday-mode but I gotta start preparing myself for getting up at 6 am again. Not much else has been difficult today hence no entries for good/bad deeds or things out of control.
I took this picture as we said goodbye to the sun until tomorrow.
It’s an undisputed fact that we all consume and breathe lots of microplastics, and we have done for our whole lives. The average person probably takes in 100,000 particles of microplastic annually.
Microplastics are suspected of being dangerous in just about every way you can imagine, damaging our internal organs, poisoning us with leached chemicals, breaking down our cell walls, and causing countless diseases. A vast body of research has been published investigating these concerns.
There’s still no evidence that any of these happen. More data is always needed. More study. More investigation. And when there is evidence of microplastic interaction with living tissue — which there is, certain plastics can and do have detectable biological effects, there’s so far never been any evidence that it’s harmful.
Will you go without? Though it makes no difference To save the planet
Late start again after very good sleep. Aided by canna oil. Exercised, which sucked and was good too.
Today I’m grateful for:
Noey sending me a message at 11.30 am wondering where I was! It’s nice to feel missed sometimes, even if it is just by the baristas in your favourite coffee shop!
The best thing about today was:
Another storm blowing in this afternoon whilst I was in my room.
Two days in a row now, I got to hear the big splats of rain falling on the tin roof above the ceiling and to hear the wind banging all sorts of things around just outside.
Strangely, it hasn’t rained in the city at all whilst we’ve been lucky enough to not need to water these two days.
Something I learned today?
From a report issued by the US-based International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights:
“The breadth of the U.S. violations of the ICCPR is overwhelming. The committee found breaches of the treaty in nearly every aspect of life in the United States. We (the United States) should heed the committee’s recommendations and demand that our federal, state and local governments in the U.S. comply with our human rights obligations.”
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
In general, my exercise wasn’t too bad today, except for 3 by one-and-a-half minutes of bicycle kicks. I could do thirty, take a break and then do 15 more but that was it. I’m happy to adapt the exercises to my skill and strength level so that I don’t give up but can keep going.
How do I handle disagreements or conflicts?
Disagreements I am generally ok with, but when it comes to conflict I don’t deal very well. I’d rather walk along and forget about it.
I’ve never really cared what other people think but in the past would try to argue my point. These days I don’t feel the need. People believe the things that they want to.
I’m open to a lot of different ideas but still obviously have my own beliefs about things. Entering into conflict over these things seems a waste of time. Most people don’t want to listen to something that they don’t believe. And for many things that applies to me too.
When was the last time I felt exceptionally strong or brave?
I’ve been looking at this one for a few days already and can’t think of anything. Perhaps others looking from the outside might have considered some of my actions at one time or another as strong or brave but to me, they were just normal.
Even so, there’s no standout moment of bravery rescuing someone drowning or pulling people out of a car crash. Nothing so exciting.
What’s an aspect of my culture that I love?
This is a weird one to answer because just what is my culture? I carry traits from growing up in England, from the middle of my life in Australia and now with some influence from six years in Thailand.
Culture can be great when you are young, something to bond and identify with, but the more you experience and can take the opportunity to travel you begin to see that beyond culture we are all basically the same.
Is culture manipulated by us ourselves to keep us divided?
The aspects of my cultures that I love are that they have given me grit, taught me when to run and when to walk and taught me acceptance. And when I write that all down I realise that my mum taught me all that. Mums are culture.
I took this picture because when I arrived at Utopia, Noey told me that she had just sent me a message. I sat down and read it. It said “Where is Shaun?” and so I replied with this photo.
Lazy to get up but I’m enjoying the ache in my body from exercise. I’m already reminiscing about the lost time of this holiday despite actually being more productive than last year. I’ve got into the groove of taking it easy and am now feeling anxious about getting busy again in the next couple of weeks. Though I know well that I can deal with it easily enough.
Today I’m grateful for:
A brief small storm at around 7pm that whilst not hanging around for long meant a drop in temperature that even allowed us to turn the aircon off for a while!
The best thing about today was:
Tigger coming for cuddles about 7 or 8 times. He’s getting more affectionate with his age.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I didn’t get a chance to read more of my book today as I ended up busy with other things. I did get some comic reading in and a chapter from another book that I delve into every now and then.
Something I learned today?
A US senator was complaining that a bag of steel brackets needed for weaponry was costing 90,000 dollars. A Chinese seller responded offering to sell the same thing for 8 dollars! And the reality is that US Defence spending from Chinese sources has quadrupled over the last few years. So the US military is becoming dependent on parts for war with China that are….made in China!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent Anchan a little more money so that she can get back to Chiang Rai as she is stuck in a village outside Chiang Mai at the moment.
I helped Amy moving around some furniture on the terrace as she wanted to change it up. It looks good and change is good.
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
Despite the last two days of not enjoying playing guitar I picked it up again for about 20 minutes and was a little happier with my ability.
What are my thoughts on growing older?
In the last couple of years, I’ve enjoyed the wisdom that age has brought me but recently, with the feeling of time disappearing too quickly, I’m pining for the days of boredom I used to endure as a teenager.
Too much knowledge is a dangerous thing? I know it’s just the way of looking at it. Perhaps I am bored now but don’t really know it?
It can’t be helped to wonder about being able to live your life over again but now I have to take a positive attitude with me with what remains.
I took this picture yesterday and along with other garden pictures sent them to Sharon and Rob.
Pretty good again though getting up was a struggle but I did it and made it to my room to exercise. Hopefully, the positive effects of that become apparent to my brain today, or I may just nap!
Today I’m grateful for:
The Mad Muscles app that I downloaded but cancelled because it really isn’t much better than the free app I use.
As I had paid for a month though, I will keep using it and take that as motivation. I’ve adapted the exercises to allow for my weaknesses and sore bits too.
The best thing about today was:
Watering the garden in the late afternoon. The ground is so dry that it’s difficult to even see how just a little bit of water from our hose can make any difference to the bigger trees.
The many mangoes that budded are starting to suffer and shrivel up so I want to try and give that tree more attention. I’m jealous of a couple of small mango trees I saw last week that had loads of healthy fruit. I want that too!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I sent a couple of tapes to a customer in Australia a couple of weeks back. They contacted me today saying that they’d received the package but that it was open and empty.
As I had run out of tapes with that order, I asked the bands in Bangkok if they still had copies and asked them to send a replacement which I’m grateful for them doing immediately. I transferred the cost straight away too. Sorted.
I had another order to send to the USA and included a second tape as a freebie. I took it to the post office expecting it to cost about 250 baht ($10AUD) but it was 463 baht! It’s doubtful I’ll be able to sell much online anymore with shipping prices too expensive now.
Also, I guess what I wrote below applies here too.
Something I learned today?
Sadly, Anchan found out today that her mum will be in prison in six months.
Earlier in the afternoon she asked me to send her some money because she was desperate to contact her mum. She said she needed 300 baht, along with 200 baht that she had, to be able to talk to her. I didn’t question this but can imagine it being some kind of backhander needed to make the call. If she had another use for the money then let it be.
Anchan is pretty sad about the whole situation and it isn’t one that a 14-year-old should be in.
Despite all that, earlier in the day she wanted to contact her program leader at school to make plans to welcome the new grade 7 students at the beginning of the semester. I put them in contact.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Helping Anchan (see above).
Running Amy around in the stinking heat to get her food. First to the bingsu shop which was closed (we ended up at a different, disappointing dessert shop). Then later to get her noodles for dinner.
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
I can probably write this every day that I exercise but there was a point this morning where I wanted to give up. I made it through.
I got frustrated with guitar again today. I did keep going for a little bit longer but not too much. Never mind. I did ten minutes I guess. A little bit every day.
I took this picture because I wanted some photos from around the house to send to Sharon and also Rob. The frangipani trees seem to revel in the dry heat.
Understood Testing time not trivial Gather round for greater good
Trivial As seen through separate eyes Man made more material
Submitted to Writer’s Workshop Prompts and NaPoMo and practising writing the Treochair form – An Irish form consisting of tercets (3-line stanzas) of any number. It is syllabic with 3/7/7 syllables per stanza and a rhyme scheme where the 1st and 3rd lines of a stanza rhyme. Heavy alliteration is expected with all 3 lines within a stanza.
Today I’m feeling:
Tired but good. Amy was up with the light and turned the aircon off so I knew I would have to get up soon because it quickly gets too hot to sleep.
I forced myself up and into my room to try this new app for exercise. I realised that it wasn’t any better than what I already use though but was happy to have tried it as it motivated me up this morning at least.
Today I’m grateful for:
There being no damage done. (See the story below)
The best thing about today was:
The bull! This actually happened late last night.
Maybe at around 10 pm I thought that I heard something on our terrace, maybe our cats chasing lizards or something like that. I turned on the lights and peaked out but there was nothing obvious so I went back to watching TV.
A little later I heard the moo of a cow in the distance. It didn’t sound close so I didn’t think much of it.
At about 11.20 pm I heard the noises again and turned on the lights and peaked out. Still nothing. So I thought I should go out and investigate.
Stepping onto the terrace I heard a wet blowy breathing sound and standing there in our entertainment area was a pitch-black bull as tall as me. I jumped back and stepped inside to grab my phone so I could use its torch to herd it back out to wherever it belonged because it certainly didn’t belong with us!
When I came back out the bull had jumped the small wall out of the entertainment and started wandering off around the garden, obviously not too happy to be confronted. I went off to the gate to open it and returned to where I guessed he might be. He wasn’t there.
The wind was blowing the leaves a little and the shadows from the house lights were dancing around and put me on edge. As I came around the back near the kitchen I jumped in a frightful expectation but it was just shadows.
Around to the back and then to the garage and around to the gate again. Where had this bull gone? Maybe it jumped over the fence? That seemed unlikely as this thing was massive.
My phone torch barely penetrated the darkness in the far corner of the garden but I guessed he was there, invisible with his colour. I nervously stepped forward and even though I was expecting to see a huge animal at some point it still shocked me when the stood-still bull opened its eyes in my direction so that I could see it clearly and it was less than a metre away. My arm hairs bristled and I stepped back in fright, now able to make out its fearsome shape. He gave me another wet breath for good luck.
I steeled myself and went around to its back and it didn’t need much prompting, seeming to know where the gate was already. Like it was just fucking with me.
I chuckled to myself as I closed the gate again. Tonight, I will do a quick check-around before closing our gate for the night.
Something I learned today?
A little bit of the history of Canada through reading The Decline of the British Empire. Building a nation-spanning railroad was seen as a way of keeping the USA at bay from expansion.
Since looking a little deeper it was also surprising that Canada only became a totally independent country in 1982.
A disappointing practice of guitar has got me down and now the blaring PA system of the neighbours celebrating Songkran is annoying me. I just want quiet – to think, to read. It was fun to see the children preparing to start splashing everyone this morning though.
The skies are clearer than the last few weeks, there’s some breeze and the temperature quite bearable. Only one thing for us to do today – shopping.
Today I’m grateful for:
Art giving me a free cake for Songkran today.
Also, Amy wanting to go to Big C and allowing me to drop a couple of things in the trolley that I wanted.
She also paid for Swenson’s ice cream for our dessert – which was great and all but nothing on LungChom’s ice cream.
Needless to say, I’m putting on weight this month.
The best thing about today was:
Finding a baby cow at the front door!
We both heard some mooing outside our living room window but it sounded to me as if it was in the field at the back. A few minutes later we heard it at the front, though thought it was still coming from the field next door.
A second time though and we went to investigate to find the little cutie confused on how to get back to its mum that was calling from the field next door.
We were eventually able to usher it out and back where it immediately got to suckling and security.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Both Baipad and Anchan have been out of contact for a couple of days.
There’s nothing to be done, I just hope that they are both doing ok for now.
Something I learned today?
I found a very funny comedian on YouTube called Dan Rath. He’s from Sydney too.
What’s a question I’ve been pondering lately?
I have been thinking a little about what is next? Am I just going to keep on documenting my life up until this point without really adding anything further to it? Am I done?
I am weirdly happy and satisfied though.
Or am I just old, tired and lazy?
Pondering questions raises more questions.
I took this picture because we take pictures of our visitors.
I’ll play a song for you, in this empty room Spill my heart for no one else to hear And when I reach the end of my tune I’ll turn off the lights and disappear
The memory of my words will stay Reverberating around these cold walls And when you wander by one day You will hear the whisper of my calls
“Be careful what you wish for When hope blinds you to the signs Forgetting that less means more Living the curse of interesting times”
A little slow to get going this morning as I turned off my alarm to sleep an extra hour.
Starting to think about getting lessons in order and writing new ones for my new classes. It’s giving me some good background anxiety but I trust myself to be able to pull everything together.
Today I’m grateful for:
Finally being able to book flights to Bangkok and back in May to see Arwith and the bands I’ve been working with.
The best thing about today was:
Eating mala sticks this evening. A simple thing but we haven’t done that for a long while.
It was hot enough, even at 8pm, to sweat when sitting still so eating those spicy sticks didn’t really make much difference!
Something I learned today?
Booking AirAsia flights on the website was giving me trouble but using the app on my phone worked instantly.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Staying in touch with Anchan to try and help her through this time.
Talking with Baipad about dealing with her mental health issues.
Don’t wait until it’s too late to realise A life isn’t lived if it’s lived in fear Even though we fall we still hope to rise We sure could use a drink down here
The further we go the further back we get* The possibilities only ever feel near Along the way exclaiming ‘Are we there yet?’ We sure could use a drink down here
Wherever this winding river will lead Its waters are more muddy than clear It pays to suffer, it pays to bleed And we sure could use a drink down here
Lazy and happy. Woke up at 10 am and have not been motivated to do much of anything really.
I came across this quote yesterday that I quite liked:
“Delusions believed by billions are still delusions and the truth of one humanity embraced by even one human is still the truth.”
Abhijit Naskar
Today I’m grateful for:
Finally receiving my classes list for next semester. I have a wider range of classes so will have to do more preparation and will start getting into that on Monday.
The best thing about today was:
Eating a bowl of LungChom ice cream. It’s been a year that I’ve been denying myself because it is so nice and I was getting too fat from it, so I’ll enjoy it again now and try to resist falling into any further addiction.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Talking with Anchan breaks my heart. She doesn’t know anything about what happened with her mum in court and is sad, lonely and frustrated in Chiang Mai. I discovered that her mum is in a Myanmar prison which is just a nightmare.
I suggested many things to try and take her mind off her situation but she is in a pretty negative state of mind. She did cry that she should be enjoying her teenage life and not having to deal with all this.
I saw that her and Fah were friendly at the end of last semester so I contacted Fah and asked her to chat with Anchan, just to be a friend. I hope some contact will keep her a little grounded.
Something I learned today?
Bonism – the doctrine that the world is good, although not the best of all possible worlds
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I moved around some plants for Amy and fixed up the vine plant so that it should grow over the empty roof space and hopefully give some natural shade at least.
Mee took this picture sometime last year. I’m pleased that she is feeling better than last year.
Mother, I’m not like you I’m not wise to your ways I’m barely a teen And can see through your plays
Is it better raised like this Or for you to be taken away? When you are gone Where do you expect me to stay?
When Dad died we fought hard To make our way together Until you saw the glitter of gold That turned out to be old leather
Uncle tried a little bit but can’t even manage himself! He just takes ALL the money, I don’t know where ALL I’ve got is INSTANT NOODLES for the rest of the MONTH! Mother don’t leave me here, I know you still care…
A STRANGER came to me today and SPUN A GREAT STORY OF FORTUNE I didn’t know whether to BELIEVE HIM BUT I’VE NO ONE ELSE TO TRUST! I ALWAYS TRIED TO DO WHAT’S RIGHT BUT LOOK WHERE THAT HAS GOTTEN ME!? WITH NOWHERE ELSE TO GO I’LL HAVE TO DO AS NEEDS MUST – Sigh!
…
Mother, I don’t want to be like you I don’t want to be wise to those ways I’m still a vulnerable child at heart But I’ll hold on to anything that stays
Sadly, a situation facing one of my best and favourite students right now, though I have taken the poem where I hope it doesn’t end up for her. Submitted to the Word of the Day Challenge – Vulnerability and NaPoMo.
Pretty good again today. Though the pollution is getting worse I, at least, seem to have gotten over any allergic reaction. For now, anyway.
Today I’m grateful for:
The people who came and removed the roof from our entertainment area so that when the storms come this year the winds should just blow through instead of ripping the roof off. It’s a shame to see it all laid out on the floor to be taken away. That was expensive stuff.
The best thing about today was:
Lazily going about my day getting things done that I wanted to do, with a little bit of everything thrown in.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I ate a weed brownie and started reading about the Boer War and how some folks back then saw the British Empire’s decline in the same exact way that happened to the Romans and as is happening to the USA now.
It’s just wild to watch people (societies) walk into the same mistakes that have happened over the centuries.
Anyway, all that was fascinating until I got to the end of a section and wanted to listen to music. I stuck on some CHROMB! and put my brain into overdrive trying to keep track of what the musicians were doing.
I was happily lost in its madness and was in a trance-like state for the best part of an hour. I think I handled that pretty well then!
Something I learned today?
Wholesome news:
Dozens of Huskies Escape Pet Cafe in China
The barking mad footage from a Shenzhen shopping centre shows the dogs running wild after a customer failed to close the door properly. It reportedly took about one hour to round them up.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I took out the garbage this morning which was easier said than done as our usual dumping area on the road has disappeared with the work going on. Luckily there is another area not far away though.
I unpacked the packages of cat food, put them away in the cupboard and broke down the boxes.
I cleaned out the gutters, urging rain to come and fill them.
I watered the mango tree which is budding hundreds of tiny fruit. Let’s hope some make it to maturity this year.
I took this picture yesterday because the restaurant we went to for lunch had these two coloured grasses along their driveway just like we do. But I kinda like it in monochrome.
1994ever 