Tag: nothing

Dissolve – 5th January 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I dissolved myself into nothingness
Reverse engineered my being
Back to the womb, the sperm met egg
A cluster of molecules
Formed by random atoms
I saw my place in the infinite
My space and time, nothing
Dissolved

We’re all born listeners, so try to adapt a child-like listening mode, set aside expectations and really just be there.

Gordon Hempton, On Listening

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the chickens that laid these two eggs I’m eating, the farmer that collected them, the drivers that drove them and the shop that sold them.

Having free time in the morning, I clocked in and headed to House to read and relax. As I was talking to Fui, I got a couple of LINE messages that I was supposed to be covering Dylan’s class. An indirect message had been sent at 8.31 that I hadn’t seen – it was now 9.10.

Anyway I rushed back, a little flustered and had a great class with M1/6 (grade 7) – it was actually better that it was rushed. We got down quickly and it was fun.

In my head I’ve been thinking about what to say if anyone asks me why I wasn’t at school but the more I think about it (and thankfully I’ve had time to think about it) I should just say nothing. No need to be defensive or to make excuses.

I’m in Le Paradis right now, not risking going out again! As I was sitting here, 3 grade 8 students came in. They are not in my classes but have been chatting with me whenever they see me. They are upbeat and positive and I like to put in the effort to talk with them. We communicated through our poor second language skills and translation and I could feel tired trying to communicate in a second language, just as my students must feel in my classes sometimes.

It’s worthwhile to connect with them though. Give them a confidence booster and me a little conversation practice.

What has ageing given you? Taken away?

Easy answer: Wisdom/youth.

Ageing has also given me more of an insight into how short our time is. The things I think I will enjoy, because I enjoyed when I was younger, do not always correlate with how I feel now. Is that something that has been taken away?

It’s also given me a better understanding of all the old people in my life, or the people who seemed so far away old. I was just contemplating this morning that it is over 30 years ago that my grandparents passed. And my cousins, Sharon and Ken are around the age my grandparents were when I first went to live with them. These times feel so short, so fast.

Hayden is 25. It’s strange to see him in a grown-up body. My picture of him is still as a two-year-old.

As many have often thought, age brings confidence and wisdom to talk with the opposite sex but now we’re too old to take advantage of this knowledge with the members of the opposite sex as we would like. Not without being creepy anyway.

We start out loudly and go in circles, all things converging, we find an end to each day – 11th April 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

High in the North in a land called Svithjod there is a mountain. It is a hundred miles long and a hundred miles high and once every thousand years a little bird comes to this mountain to sharpen its beak. When the mountain has thus been worn away a single day of eternity will have passed

Hendrik Willem Van Loon, The Story of Mankind

That little bird is our lives. Dwarfed by the magnificence of time.

We are small and insignificant. Not individual, not a group, nor a race. Not a society, a species or a thought from God. We are nothing.

The dinosaurs, the mammoths, the pharaohs, the sultans and kings, the inventors, the thinkers and philosophers, the builders, the masters and slaves, the writers, the historians, the celebrities, the murderers, the saints and the despots. You and me. Nothing.

What will you do with this information?

Our floating houses on molten granite
Our liquid planet, it is a home for us all
I’m firmly planted, my earth is solid
I feel a presence but there is nothing at all
I wanted something, down here is something
It’s really something but there is nothing at all

‘Slowly Melting’ by Nomeansno

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #34

Music from Tipographica, Keukhot, Chui Wan, 400 Blows, Lifter Puller, Mazaj, Geronimo, Unknown, Pell Mell, Opal, Child Bite and Debile Menthol.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the space we have in our house and garden. We can move furniture around and reinvent ourselves, change our views.

To-do list

  • Talk to George ✅
  • Record TCRAH
  • One more lesson plan
  • Record more 1994ever for blog ✅
  • Write a short blog post ✅

Almost didn’t make it out to my room but somehow managed to motivate myself. I am slowly completing things, whether it is sorting out bits and pieces from my past, things I’d intended to do for a long time, reading books, watching movies and TV series, sorting out my CDs etc. So at least I have a sense of achievement.

I’m reminded of when I was about 10 or 11 years old and used to ‘race’ my Matchbox car collection and keep tables of which was fastest and kept all sorts of statistics about them. I was already organising my mind, putting things in order, sleeping everything straight.

I can pinpoint other instances of this at various times during my youth actually. Looking through old diaries has triggered some deep recollections which is interesting. I’m testing myself to see what else is hidden away in there.

Yes I’m Leaving – Nothing – 20th January 2012

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Cat # 087TZM

Yes I’m Leaving is a three piece rock band hailing from Sydney. Influenced by grunge, post punk, hardcore and shoegaze. They have a strong DIY mentality, which showed through on their first self titled release, with their follow up album ‘Nothing’, sharing the same ethos. 

“Nothing” Yes I’m Leaving’s second album was recorded in 3 hours at Keynote Rehearsal studios in Homebush West, near where the Olympics was all those years ago. A big room was miked up in a simple way with baffling used to distract from the sonic vibrations of the s/t session. To be honest I can’t remember anything after I got the levels ‘safe’. 

The songs are sludgy and full of uncompromising lurching riffage with neojungalistic drum bass rhythmic patterns overlayed with howling and screaming vocal mantras. Say that five times fast! 

Everything was live and we charged through 12 songs perhaps with a sense of care as we kept a few alternate takes in the end. The mixing took a long time as it was an overloading experience to put a ‘the end’ sign on a song as passages were aurally exhaustive which is, in the end, why they are so accurate to the sounds of the day. 

‘Nothing” is a manic depressive exploding catharsis record. Either/neither insincere or tongue in cheek, full of psychadelia, possessed sludge or something else beyond the pigeon hole. The vinyl reissue comes with a new screenprint and insert, on weird random coloured vinyl.