Do not succumb, my little friend
Little girl, let’s see the end
Together, hold my hand
By my bed you’ll stand

You must say goodbye to me
This is as these things should be
It’s far too soon for you to leave
Whilst there’s still air for us to breathe

The pain of living is our guide
To put our suffering to one side
To share our dreams and our mistakes
To laugh at all our mischief makes

So stay with me, my little friend
Even though we can’t depend
On each other to fix our pain
We’ll walk ourselves beyond this rain

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Today I’m feeling:

Ok, though a little out of sorts

Today I’m grateful for:

All the staff at the hospital that pointed me in the right direction to find Mee. Despite language barriers, we could work things out with some words and pointing.

The best thing about today was:

The best thing today was watching Nong Fah helping Nong Ninja with his reading. She comforted him and helped him with some words. It was so sweet to watch and I was very impressed.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Getting a message from Mee from the hospital that she tried to kill herself last night was a bit of a shock. She had talked about her problems with me before but I was hoping she wouldn’t go this far. I think it was a cry for better attention from her family but it’s difficult for me to fully understand her situation.

I went to the hospital to see her and was happy to see her friend Petch there with her. I didn’t really know what to say though. It is hard to express the knowledge that life is long and can easily change for the better in the future. She really needs professional counselling but I’m not sure how easy that is for her to access.

Something I learned today?

It’s not ‘feed a cold, starve a fever’ but ‘feed a cold and a fever’ and whatever, drink lots of water.

What do I enjoy about keeping a journal?

It’s good to get stuff out of one’s head by getting it down on paper. The main thing I enjoy though is looking back at things that were going through my head previously and noticing if I’ve managed to grow and move on since.

I took this picture because as I was walking down the street these blooms stood out against the smoky grey skies.

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I received a photo from Mee this morning showing her in hospital and when I asked her what happened she said she tried to kill herself by taking an overdose of pills. I’m not sure how seriously she wanted to die though she’s talked about it before, or if she really just wants to wake her family up to her mental health problems.
From what she told me before, the medicine she is taking isn’t working and I had advised her to talk with her psychiatrist about changing it.
Anyway, after my class I went on a search of the hospital and found her. Her aunt was sitting with her and Petch was also there comforting her in bed. Mee was still groggy and in pain and obviously, we have difficulty talking because of our language skills but I wanted her to know that I cared about her and to see that other people care about her. I asked her not to leave us and hoped she’d feel better soon. There wasn’t much else to say so I left, hoping she appreciates my visit.
I messaged her later telling her I would visit again tomorrow and let me know if she wanted anything.