oi polloi – 1994ever

Oops, not been keeping you too well informed, have I?

Well, on Saturday I got cut short writing letters cos my boss, Sid the Sexist, came so I just read the papers instead. When I got home me and Bonsa went coat hunting in antique stores down Boscombe way – but no joy, and we got screwed up by all the old farts worried we’d steal their prize crockery and crummy medals. We later checked out an old army collector place in Poole. The idea is to find a coat for me to get married in, by the way. And there was an old witch of a woman running this place. She was very eccentric and talked strangely – she was quite pleasant really but looked like she had a cauldren hidden away somewhere.

Next we took the familiar road to Southampton and to the Joiners, where most of our mates were already hung out. John and Selena and their friend Lisa strung out on speed and also getting pissed up. Useful Idiot played and totally blew me away and then I read Maximum Rock ‘n’ Roll through Haywire’s set – notable only for their mad looking bass player. Oi Polloi finished off and were very entertaining. Though riddled with cliches, the singer, Deke’s, sincerity shone through. After I’d sold a few LPs we got everything packed up and drove everyone to John and Selina’s in the back of the van with renditions of about 600 different songs, or choruses of, on the way.

Me and Broni started to drink when we got back which was at about 1am. But we only lasted till three or so. We crashed in the back of the van and went into deep gorgeous sleep after a few minutes of fidgeting on the hard floor.

Awoke to bright sunshine and cooking like canned sardines at about 8.30 and went back in to find a couple of people about, or just in the throes of going to sleep! We made some coffees and drunk them in the cool Sunday morning sun, Rob joining us and gradually more people surfacing. Intending to leave at about 10 or so I think we got away at about midday. I should just mention here that Chrissy decided not to come last night because, I guess, she would still feel a bit strange without Steve being around. Such a difficult situation she has faced up to – all power to her. She knows all the people here, all her friends still love her.

Okay, video camera armed we checked out The New Forest and all its animals – donkeys, horses and cows all with their babies, and pigs the size of cars. You would not believe – awesome. Another beautiful cloudless day – eventually we got home and decided to head to the beach, forgetting any responsibilities we were supposed face!

The sea was warm in the evening sun and me, Broni and John played ball and I swam a bit and a bit more (though not yet breathing underwater). Another fantastic push bike ride through the woods and, gosh, you should’ve seen the smiles on our faces. Oh, so in love with life and happy to be alive. We realised how lucky we are and how well off we are compared with others. We also realise that it is our spirit and outlook that gives us the right attitude to approach adversity whenever it needs to be faced – and we know we will.

Quickly quickly – let me tell you a couple of things about today. For one, it’s mega hot, hitting 30s and a field of cows crowded together for cooling (I presume), some weird sight anyway – I travelled up to near London on a delivery and sat smiley listening to the Palace Bros, Will Palace singing, “The world is within you, without is of mud”. Oh yes, fucking fuck. How can you not love life??!

Shorthaired Johnny was being as obnoxious as ever, talking dicks and innuendo, Mr Entendre. Stomping around in bovver boots and his white T-shirt freshly laundered tucked into his jeans, new tattoos still scabby and iridescent. His big grin splits his head in half like the smiley planet from Moonshadow, and always attached to one hand or the other a can of lager (sometimes substituted for Guinness, sometimes tequila).

His eyes wide in a mad amphetamine haze, brain desperately taking in information like a wide angle lens but concentration is still good, unlike wife Selena whose strange tangents I cant keep up with, and mouth in fast forward, all else too drunk to get their words in edgeways, so while pondering her last statement she’s off again on the next story (which, we all laugh, all start ‘one time, when I was drunk’). She’s in black I think, hair wild, rocky horror and while we slam tequila she fills her glass with it and pours in some wine for good measure and sips slowly between stories, my guess that one drink lasting all night.

Her friend Lisa, the spitting image, drunkenly believes everything she’s being told and confused sitting out the side for awhile. We’re round the dining room table within reach of the fridge for more beers, and the kitchen is right there too for food and coffees, Rich, sober Rich, sipping caffeine at the start of his straightedge kick, despite his sobriety he’s laughing and playing too, laughing at himself as he says ‘well at least you guys have got an excuse (for acting like we are) you’re drunk!’ This straight edge suits him but somehow seems out of place amongst this rabble of drunkenness.

Broni, sober till midnight, is ever smiling and laughing at the merriment, she sits next to Selena, so like the rest of us Selena is talking to, we don’t get words in. I sit there too with Broni, hardly saying anything, stoned as we are and getting immediately drunk with these slammers and beers now strewn across the table.

At the other end sit three guys out of the band that played in town that night, willing and capable comrades in this action. I know not their names but let me describe instead.

One is blonde and rough, hair stuck straight up in air, black denim dressed, drunk and with a broad Scottish accent, I have no idea what he’s saying but it’s fun watching him stumble round the room, confusing Lisa, but I see later they are talking more properly.

Another Scottish fellow has short cropped hair, an altogether more sensible looking man in jeans and T-shirt (probably), except that here we double-take, he lowers his head shaved into the crop is a question mark, which explains is great if anyone asks you a question you’re not sure how to answer, just lowering skull for the quizzer to make their own mind up, these amused our drunken minds immensely.

Last is an American guy who reminds me of American guys, only in looks not in actions, I talk with him some but now it’s gone to hangover land.

Finally Rob is flitting around the table making conversations with anyone and everyone, he sits and listens patiently and then talks directly back with earnest, occasionally lifting his finger to gently push his glasses back at the bridge of his nose, sliding down as they would in the heat of this madhouse. Rob has to be commended as we find out in the morning he was up talking with Selena, who is totally faced and he’s drunk at the start and sober by the end, he goes to sleep about 15 minutes before we wake him up again, willingly making us coffees.

And some tunes blasting out through all the madness, in the other room (into the hall and there) John is shouting out with his loudest three in the morning voice ‘kept in line with truncheons, rifle butts and truncheons, this is state control, this is state control’, no one else deigning to join in, but back in the kitchen we raise ourselves out to chair stupor to jive to the sounds of the Rocket from the Crypt, those guys know how to drink therefore they know how to make music for drunkers.

And it’s here and then, in this wreckage, I realise what great friends I have around me, from my beautiful sweetheart, gentle soul-searching Rob, sober Rich, whether you’re in trouble or just in need of a beer. My loss, and Broni’s too, will be great when we have to say goodbye to them as we leave for sunnier climes, but you can guess that on that last night is going to be one hell of a party!