Tag: overthinking

Mind Your Step – 7th May 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 45 Comments

in your head
in your mind

mind full of thought
mindful of thoughts

thoughts that make no sense
thoughts unexpected

unexpected and anxious
unexpected and rising

rising day after day
rising repeated

repeated becomes practised
repeated again and again

again it’s been learned
again this vicious circle

circle ever decreasing
circle takes the square

square it all up at the end
square off with yourself

yourself your significant other
yourself true to form

form from your comprehension
form from understanding

understanding what’s real
understanding your truth

truth from facts
truth beats the lies

lies were your past
lies that you remember

remember those dark days
remember searching, tentative

tentative feet forward
tentative outstretched hands

hands over fist
hands pulling taut

taut the tendon deep
taut to hold together

together you and yours
together finding the way

way down was then
way to go now found

found yourself a ribbon
found yourself a hold

hold on to the guardrails
hold on to the future

future never feared
future finds your step

step into the light
step out of the darkness

darkness
light

Shared with What Do You See #287 and inspired by this post by Nilofer Neubert using the Blitz form, which has this stack of rules:
Line 1 should be one short phrase or image (like “build a boat”)
Line 2 should be another short phrase or image using the same first word as the first word in Line 1 (something like “build a house”)
Lines 3 and 4 should be short phrases or images using the last word of Line 2 as their first words (so Line 3 might be “house for sale” and Line 4 might be “house for rent”)
Lines 5 and 6 should be short phrases or images using the last word of Line 4 as their first words, and so on until you’ve made it through 48 lines
Line 49 should be the last word of Line 48
Line 50 should be the last word of Line 47
The title of the poem should be three words long and follow this format: (first word of Line 3) (preposition or conjunction) (first word of line 47)
There should be no punctuation

8th Aug 2025 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United #189

The Truants – 4th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We found our place, a gathering stone
A place to hide and smoke cigarettes
To tell each other dirty jokes
And stories of first-love fumbled sex

Hidden away from prying eyes
Though all knew where we were
Once a month, rounded up
To the headmaster’s wrath incur

It was our heaven in quiet times
To laugh and joke and sing
Away from all the realities
That our wasted lives would bring

Submitted to Crimson’s Creative Challenge, inspired by the picture above.
11th Apr 2024 – Submitted to RDP Thursday

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty relaxed and happy.  A little tired as Amy kept me up late when she got home last night, tired and emotional, overthinking about family things.

Today I’m grateful for:

The jelly candies that I bought in Mae Sai last month.  I’ve been eating them myself because they are delicious but they are also a good candy to give to my students as treats.  They mostly prefer them over the fruity Mentos.

The best thing about today was:

Having my students read one-on-one and two-on-one in my classes today.  I was happily surprised by a couple of students’ improvement over the last twelve months.  I like this time of year for the relaxed attitude towards study.

I’ve thought before that it would be good if it could be like this all the time but when I think deeper it is perhaps because of all the pushing and hard work during the year that they have gotten more comfortable with their study.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In the morning Amy told me she wanted me to come home between classes to take Cap to the vet.  I wasn’t into this idea because I wanted to chill at the cafe, catching up on reading and also because with the change of plans at the weekend it meant driving to the city and back twice instead of once.  Her plan for today would’ve meant another two trips in one day.

I suggested it would be better to wait until we got the truck back and then she can take Cap at her leisure.  Thankfully she agreed to this idea before I left for school.

Something I learned today?

I saw a headline about a Palestinian mother’s newborn twin babies who were killed in an Israeli airstrike.  She had been waiting ten years to conceive.  

Zionists sure know how to inspire hatred.  This will not end well.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  24. Never Look Back Too Long. Reflecting on the past is only good for one thing: Learning.

I am taking a lot of time looking back these days as I go through putting information into this blog.  I am sometimes nostalgic but as the life lesson says, I am using this information for learning.  

I’ve almost fully given myself over to my students and Amy these days.  I’m less inward-focused in my day-to-day life even though I do do a lot of thinking.  

I’m happy where I’m at though not sure where I am going just now.

I took this picture of the flowering tree that I park my car under in the afternoons, in a vague attempt at keeping it cool. The flowers are pretty. I think I took a similar picture last year.

Circles – 31st July 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Wound tight and stomach knotted
Endless thoughts, head is reeling
Darker schemes are being plotted
No single road seems appealing

A roundabout, eyes are blurring
Sleep offers no more respite
Each waking moment reoccuring
A falling dream from a great height

A catch-22, a spinning top
Dante’s rings, ever decreasing
A perpetuum mobile, never stop
Piled on top and never ceasing

8th August 2021 – I stuck this poem into an AI story generator and it came back with this:

A cloud of gas, an oil well, and then one day, well no, I’m not going to say it again I can’
I can’t wait to share some music with you guys. I’m still working on it, – the best soundtrack I’ve ever heard. That’s it, folks, that’s the end of this sentence, no? Okay, here’s a short one: I think I might have died. Maybe. When I did, my body was on . … I guess that is a word. – no. Okay. You know what? That is it for this one; I’ll give you a minute. Sorry. How many minutes, anyway? I don’t know, maybe two. What was the last song that you listened to ?
… You might notice that in all this time no one has been to my room. No one’s been in my bed. So far, the only person I have had to talk to is you. Sorry, sorry, this is going a bit fast, okay?

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that Utopia is ok to give me credit until next week as I haven’t been paid yet. It’s a very slightly guilty coffee.

Here’s the weekend again. Grabbed coffee, read about the Beatles, filled my bike tyres and got 20 baht of petrol because that’s all the cash I had. Came home and Amy had washed the car and asked me to wash the bike, which I did as Tangmo watched on.

After I had finished and come inside I heard Amy scream that Tangmo had got through the screen door and was walking around in Kim’s room. When I came out Kim didn’t seem much to care and I got Tangmo out and fixed the door.

After a shower, I went back in to see Kim and to make Tangmo watch that he has to accept Kim and that we can be with her without him barking and pushing at the door. Tangmo wasn’t ready for this lesson though and pushed the doors again and barked more. Kim got angry this time and scratched me and attacked him. Eventually, I had to kick Tangmo in the head to get him out. He was very upset and ran off sulking! Kim is the priority though. And making sure the door doesn’t get fully broken. Tangmo will probably sneak back in quietly later. I’ll give him a pat then.

Now listening to the Beatles CDs I have, which still don’t really interest me musically. Still trying to finish off all my DVD burns; will get there eventually.

For what has been a fairly quiet morning I’ve done quite a lot. Not much of interest though. These are what days are I suppose.

Poems on this day – 18th June 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Hangover

I wonder where
I left my underwear
My socks are wet
Why? I forget
Ugh! Back to sleep
Drifting deep
Think more later
Drink more later
Go back under
Where’s my wonder?

Wasting Time

When someone wants to waste your time
Be ready and bring something else to mind
There’s plenty of things to do and find
Wasting time – it’s yours to lose
There’s so many things you can use
It’s always there for you to choose

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I woke up this morning, early in the morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. I was thinking too much and I hope I got it all done so that I don’t keep thinking too much during the day.

We got that attitude! – 25th April 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for the temperature today. There’s a cool breeze and no need for a fan or air-con.

To-do list

  • Photos ✅
  • Fill in cracks in concrete
  • Sort more CDRs ✅
  • Clear emails – esp Stoa ✅

I haven’t been particularly happy over the last couple of weeks – all the uncertainty in the world got me thinking too much.

Tomorrow I go back to school (for now at least) and despite really not wanting to go back to work, I think the routine will be useful for me.

I am already thinking about other things I can do ie. now motivated by one thing and provoking others.

This time has not been unproductive but has sometimes been a struggle. I’m motivated to get back into writing this (in my journal) again.