Not too bad. My hip is only slightly sore now, and I think I got it from spending too much time sitting in the cafe on Wednesday and Thursday last week. I don’t think that it was from exercise so much, though I’m still wary of starting up again, and so skipped it this morning. I will start again tomorrow and see how I go.
I was a little dizzy this morning until my medicine kicked in, and I felt pretty good by the end of the day.
Today I’m grateful for:
The folks doing the new road again, as they put in some extra concrete to join up with our driveway, which we were expecting to have to do ourselves. I’m not sure how good it is yet as it is still covered, but it will be better than nothing and cheaper than use having to pay to fix it up.
The best thing about today was:
I had back-to-back one-hour classes with my grade 8s this afternoon, and I was pleasantly surprised at the second class who can the most rowdy at times. Within five minutes of setting them a writing task, they were quietly completing it, and I didn’t know what to do with myself.
As they completed the work, I told them what we would do on Thursday when they would read the tex,t and they listened attentively so that they could write out some pronunciation in Thai to help them remember.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In the morning, I had to walk over to auntie’s house where our car was parked due to the road work, and Tangmo wandered over for a cuddle, rub and snack. His back was wet and there was a sudden smell of cat shit and I was sure that I must’ve stepped in some.
Even after getting in the car I was looking around for cat shit, wondering how a cat might’ve gotten into a totally locked car. Then, as I was driving along, I smelled my hands and they smelled of some sort of horrible chemical, like a mix of paint thinners and petrol.
The bad smell must’ve been a mix of dirty dog and whatever the dirty dog had been rolling in. After arriving at school I avoided saying hello and fist bumping students as much as I could and headed towards a bathroom to wash my hands and make sure that I hadn’t sat in cat shit somehow.
One wash helped, but it wasn’t enough. I took a second go at House and started to feel a little less self-conscious.
Tangmo came to say hello again when I got home, and he still stunk to high heaven. I hope it is not having too much of an effect on him, as the smell is positively cancerous.
Something I learned today?
Today will be the last that I see of my grade 12 HAP and E-sports students for this semester. It’s a shame, as I had a fun class lined up for them next week.
I took this picture of Ploy because she was bullying me as I was on my way to class.
The following is a letter from July 17, 2023, delivered today from the past
Dear FutureMe and FutureAmy,
Today is 17th July 2023 and Amy has just come back from Australia for one month and has whizzed around cleaning the house and getting it up to her standard of cleanliness.
Of course, she will have to clean it again when she comes back again in October!
Writing this today I feel quietly hopeful that Amy will be able to find herself again in Thailand. The onset of the pandemic at the end of 2019 really disrupted our plans to do some kind of business on our land or somewhere in Chiang Rai.
I think we all went a little stir-crazy being stuck at home so much, though for me I am quite comfortable sitting back and enjoying our little paradise.
I hope by the time this letter arrives that Amy hasn’t run off again to another part of the world in frustration. But whatever has happened I will support her. I have resolved to stay here and see out the lives of our cats and I am fine with that, whether Amy is here or not. Wherever she is in the world I can feel her with me. I want her to be happy.
When you receive this email it will be your birthday my little moo. I never know what to get you because I have already given you all that I have. Know that wherever you are, you have all my love.
Happy Birthday for another year, little Amy Love you, Shauny
Today I’m feeling:
A bit dusty after my first night of drinking this year. I fell asleep in my clothes last night, half expecting to be dragged up again. At some point, I must’ve undressed as I was naked when I got up at 10am with a whiskey mouth.
Today I’m grateful for:
The staff at La Favola who took care of us tonight for Amy’s birthday dinner. We had a great time, overloading on their buffet, especially the oysters.
The best thing about today was:
Besides late morning coffee and dinner, the rest of the day was mostly spent either sleeping or reading in bed.
The best thing was going out for a fancy dinner and having a good feeling of being together tonight.
Something I learned today?
The AFL usually quickly puts up videos of the last two minutes of very close games and I happened to see that there was one for the Swans game today which is a bad sign. Did we manage to scrape by or just lose? I’ll find out tomorrow.
Got a head barren of motivation What’s said only delivers frustration Not dead but denied inspiration Get it together or you’re done!
Emo-driven tears an aberration Forgotten fears sudden implication Perspective clears internal narration You got skills but the bills are due!
Each turmoil treads towards education Lessons learned have no expiration Third eyes open to the realisation Time to shine because the rains will come!
Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 53 and inspired by one of my students who is trying hard at school but is close to getting kicked out.
Today I’m feeling:
Woke up tired but got going with Utopia coffee. Game was there and commiserated with me when I told him and Art that I couldn’t hang around as Amy had me quickly home for us to go to meet Mei and Hagan for lunch. I still managed to get a little reading in though, starting Rip It Up And Start Again again.
Today I’m grateful for:
Mei and Hagan for shouting us lunch at Mo’s (near Mae Sai). Good food and good catch-up, probably the last before they head back to Australia.
The best thing about today was:
Whilst out in the village in the evening I went across to the 20 baht shop, which was closed in the morning, and picked up some batteries and a door closer. I saw that KhaoThang was sitting in her mum’s shop so I went in and chatted with her and her mum for a minute.
Her English pronunciation is awesome now, though her vocabulary is still limited as she studies in a Science program rather than language.
They told me that they will close the shop in December and mum will go to a temple in Phan and KT will stay in a dorm near her school (Tessaban 6). She’s only 14 but its quite common here. Good luck to them both.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Somehow it feels hotter than it did in summer. It still hasn’t rained, two weeks now, so our new gutter is still untested.
After the first rain, a month or more ago, it felt cooler and refreshing and now the temperature has remained the same but the humidity seems to have skyrocketed. It’s pretty tiring but despite some huffing and puffing, I’m still trying not to complain out loud.
The heat did stop me from going to my room today though. I could’ve still gone but I couldn’t even really face getting up out of the air-conned living room to get a drink of water.
Something I learned today?
I came across a Roy and HG documentary and it made me reminisce a lot about my early years in Australia and then even more so when there were clips of The Dream which was the show they did during the Sydney Olympics. That was still a memorable prime time in my life.
I found a load of videos on YT which I stuck in the queue to watch at some point.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Around 7pm Amy wanted to go to the market to get some soy milk, implying that I had to ride her there. I still didn’t want to get out but eventually, I did.
I took this picture at Mo’s because I finally remembered to take some pictures today. I knew this one was going to look good when I took it.
Tired but awake with a headache. My sleep was much disturbed by aches in my shoulders and arms due to my exercise this week, so I skipped it this morning.
I have a few things to do today connected with the SpeechOdd Malay tour and the Minnesota release and hopefully will play some guitar too. I didn’t make it to my room often last week.
Today I’m grateful for:
My village and the folks therein.
The best thing about today was:
Being able to keep going after a filling lunch and resisting the temptation to lay down. Before that, I had already gone to Sinthanee and got a new battery for the bike and picked up the fish at Betagro for Amy to cook for lunch. My two morning coffees seemed to keep the lights on in my body after waking up tired but not sleepy.
Lunch could have finished me off, though. My eyes were feeling heavy as my body was breaking down the fish and rice. I drank a bottle of soda and knew it was a bad idea to lie down with all that bubbling around inside me so decided to walk around the garden and on seeing our dirty car I decided that I could take it to the garage to be cleaned as we will drive to meet Mei and Hagen at Singha Park tomorrow for lunch.
Also, I thought it might be a funny catalyst for some rain as it hasn’t rained in the four days since we got the gutter replaced, so we still don’t know how effective it is.
On the way to PTT, where I normally get the car cleaned, I dropped into Utopia and asked if they knew a local shop that could fix the puncture on my car, and they told me that Art recommended the shop right next to the PTT. Easy. And I picked up another coffee, too!
At the PTT, they couldn’t clean my car immediately as there was a truck delivering fuel, and they said they could only do it after that had finished. No problem, I’ll go and get the puncture repaired.
In the shop the guy there got straight to it and within about ten minutes had fixed everything and delivered me a screw that had caused the problem. And only cost 150 baht. The fish this morning was more expensive!
As it was so quick, I went back down to the car cleaning place next door to Sinthanee, and they said it would be about an hour as they had a couple of cars in already. No problem. I could go across the road and talk with Baipad for a bit.
At Baipad’s, her mum was finishing off a customer’s hair, and NamHom was playing an online game and talking with the other player, her friend, on her mobile phone. Kids these days! So lucky. Her mum kept telling her to go and get Baipad from upstairs, but she was too engrossed, so I watched her playing and scoffed when she failed at the quest she was trying to complete, which, to my surprise, she was completely unbothered by; she just kept starting again without complaint. I would have thrown the phone down in frustration many times if that had been me when I was younger! So, I’m not sure how I feel about that. Is she not frustrated due to resilience or to a lack of emotion?
Anyway, the customer left, and mum forced NamHom to go up and get Baipad, and I asked her mum if it was her car outside and if she would like me to teach Baipad all the things inside, without actually driving anywhere. She said that that was fine but that Baipad was probably too scared to drive anyway and shook her head. I think she would like Baipad to step up a little bit with taking action.
And so talking of which, NamHom came back downstairs and started playing again, saying that she knocked on the door and told Baipad to come down. 20 minutes later, and no appearance. Her mum said that she was probably playing on her phone all last night and was still sleeping now and had locked her door.
She sighed, I sighed, but whatever. I walked up to Lotus and got some Curcumin drinks and went back to the car wash and sat in their waiting room from where I called and chatted with Hayden for a while.
Once the car was done, outside, inside, underneath and another 250 baht gone I felt pretty lively and inspired to keep going so, once home, got into my room and sent off a message to Unite Asia about the Speech Odd tour, wrote to Johnny in HK about the Bennu 12”s and whether he’d be interested in the Minnesota Pocket Circuit release. I also set up a Facebook event page for the Speech Odd tour and started to feel like I was really getting connected back in with things.
I was tired and dizzy but inspired again. I practiced guitar for a little while and then played along to a couple of songs until my amp cut out from playing too loud. Time to go back inside and relax.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I was unfazed about things today, even Amy telling me to do this and do that, I looked at her with a fun mocking face.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I told the puncture repair guy that Art at Utopia had recommended him so that they both got some recognition within our community.
Great for getting up a few minutes earlier, working out and beating the traffic to work. This morning, all the kids were in happy, playful moods, so it was a good start to the day.
Mondays are pretty easy for me, even with 5 hours in class, so I felt relaxed even though I had to rush some coffees and didn’t get much writing done.
Today I’m grateful for:
The students who have been dragged into performing a play this year. Most of them are my students, either currently or in the past. I was teaching next door to where they were practising, and they pulled me in to help them with some pronunciation practice. I felt grateful that they knew that they could come to me for help.
Even though I’m already busy, I offered to help them when I had some spare time.
The best thing about today was:
My grade 8 student Manow, who for parts of last semester was shy and wary of me, had her 14th birthday today and as I called her up to the board to do the last piece of work for the class, I announced (though everyone knew) that it was her birthday and we all proceeded to sing Happy Birthday for her.
She then shared out her cake, which she had been carrying around all day and as there were only ten minutes left for the class, it quickly got devoured.
She has warmed up to me a little more now that she realises that I am there to help her with learning. She’s not great at English, but I give her encouragement for her effort.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When I got home, I was happy to see that the gardeners had been and things were looking tidier again (until you look closely anyway). I was appreciative that they had left alone the part of the garden I cordoned off and asked Amy to remind them to leave, too.
But then, Amy told me to go and look out in the drive, and there were the sad remains of two of our best ghost cactuses. Sigh.
Amy asked me to pay the gardener, which has left me well short of cash this month. I asked her to send pictures of our ravaged cactuses and to ask them to take more care.
Something I learned today?
Sydney Swans beat Geelong yesterday, and I was able to at least watch the 15-minute mini-match, though things weren’t looking good as we went six goals down and didn’t get our first into deep into the second quarter. Things came together after that, though, and things are looking positive for the future this season.
It’s kind of annoying that this season, when we are doing so well, is the first season I haven’t been able to watch the full matches. I’m still not going to fork out a week’s wages for a subscription, though.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I took Baipad a piece of Amy’s carrot cake this morning.
When I showed this picture to Jet, she said she suddenly felt hungry for fried chicken!
My usual Saturday morning tired already. It’s only been a three-day workweek for me too.
Last night I felt kinda invincible. Throw anything at me and I can do it.
Come the morning and I can feel my brain struggling to connect things together. As I was reading about John Lee Hooker and BB King I was thinking about something else entirely and I can barely remember either.
Quick coffees today as we will take Nong Na out for lunch to thank her for taking care of our cats last weekend.
Today I’m grateful for:
Taking the time to go to the city for lunch, picking up Na on the way. We got to the hotpot restaurant at 12 and I couldn’t believe that it was 2 pm when we had finished. Time went so quick and I was very relaxed.
The best thing about today was:
The mix of the hotpot soup that soaked into the rolled-up tofu sheets, then dipped into a peanut and sesame oil sauce with chopped garlic and then a sip of some Chinese milk drink to take off the heat. Awesome!
The staff were concerned that the soup would be too spicy for me but to be honest I could’ve done with some more Sichuan peppers in there!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
As seems to be getting more normal these days, time is out of my control and disappearing faster than I would like. I sat in my room after lunch and started investigating a cento poem, which required looking through lots of other people’s poetry to pick out lines from.
Doing that and catching up on some other poetry reading evaporated 3 or 4 hours and I didn’t end up coming up with anything for the cento yet. I still need to collect more before trying to put it together.
Something I learned today?
The USA has threatened the capability to shut down chip manufacturing in Taiwan if China should invade. The short-sightedness of the threat is incredible as it would mostly affect USA products such as Apple, nVidia etc.
There’s a lot of crazy in the world right now, perhaps I should stop looking.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
We drove to pick up Nong Na this morning as there was a bit of rain around and I drove us to the city and back. Whilst Amy paid for lunch I paid for the durian bingsu dessert.
I also picked up a couple of 20 baht Japanese toys for Baipad and NamHom whilst at the bingsu shop.
Nong Fah took these pictures because Anchan was sleeping in class like this! I asked her later about it and she told me that Kru Ren doesn’t know anything about teaching and is difficult to understand! The kids are smart enough to know their education sucks but don’t know how to get out of it and the culture here is not to question those seen as above you.
Great. Got in a little exercise in the morning and right into it with my classes, armed with a couple of coffees and soon some water, though thankfully the new room I was given has aircon! Not much of any substance with the classes for now, just a gentle easing in.
I’m thinking that I will also have to get some new lessons together – just based on talks with a few students. I plan ahead as much as I can but I like to get input from the students about what they want to learn.
Today I’m grateful for:
My new student Sky who helped me get organised for the fact that I will miss my first lesson with her and her classmates on Monday. I only know her from chatting with her when she was working in the school cafe.
The best thing about today was:
Three of my poorer students really applied themselves today and I was very impressed with their attitude. I also really enjoyed their self-satisfaction when they were able to help others too.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Right now, mid-evening, there was a boom outside and suddenly some of our power was gone. Sounds like some of the dodgy electricity work they’re doing along the road has caused some problems. We’ve got a little power but it’s fluctuating so we’ve turned most things off for now.
There was a brief storm earlier which has dropped the temperature but it’s still pretty warm.
Nothing much to be done except wait.
Something I learned today?
David McBride blew the whistle on Australians committing war crimes in Afghanistan and now he has been jailed for six years for doing so. There have been no convictions for the actual war crimes.
Australia is also keeping a former US citizen in solitary confinement whilst awaiting extradition – for 16 months already. The charges are fabricated and flimsy at best.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Whilst I was teaching my second class Kru Tang came past and asked me if I could teach a couple of extra hours for one of the classes as their course will finish in July. I was a little miffed as I already teach more than the other teachers but she said she knew that but was trying to fix a problem.
Anyway, I’m happy to teach so I agreed (it’s only for a few weeks effectively) and seriously joked with her about looking out for me when the time comes, when I’m sure to be in trouble for something or other.
Egged out, we must survive Enthusiastic push to thrive Finally, no one gets out alive That’s the way we all go
Early birds catch the worms The voice inside us turns In turn, the worm learns That that’s the way we all go
One day, in a different way Here tomorrow, gone today Even the early bird will say That’s the way we all go
Paraphrased and plagiarised (in the nicest possible way) from various majestic Cardiacs songs. Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 47
Today I’m feeling:
Good again though that 6 am alarm was tough. It had to be done though. My leg workout was too much, supposed to be 3 x 64 reps of lunges but I could only manage 40 by which time my skinny thigh muscles wanted to explode. But 40 is better than none.
Today I’m grateful for:
Matt, who kindly donated me some magic mushroom capsules as he tried them but didn’t enjoy the experience.
The best thing about today was:
Enjoying a whole day out of home even though I could’ve just gone to school, signed in and come home again. I had planned to do this anyway but it was made even more desirable because when I was leaving this morning Auntie Sue told me that the electricity would be off today as they are moving the lines to the new poles. Great – no reason to come home early.
After signing in I spent the morning reading and writing at House whilst enjoying three coffees and even getting another lesson done for the classes on Presentations.
After that, I dropped by Central to buy a gift for Funfai as it is her birthday today and she told me she would be playing tennis at 4 pm. I got her a notebook, pencil case and pen. I also got the same for Anchan.
For the afternoon I went to see Matt as planned and we talked for a couple of hours catching up on each other’s lives. He also showed me his guitar setup and pedals, all of which sound fantastic but not within my price range or even within my time limitations for being feasible.
I left at around 4 pm to head to the tennis courts though I could see in the distance very dark clouds and the wind started picking up dramatically. Baipad messaged me that it was storming in our village as, after cancelling bike riding yesterday due to a storm, we had rearranged for today at 5 pm.
I got to the tennis courts and there weren’t many people around and the wind was already making it difficult for those there. No sign of Funfai so I messaged her and she told me that her lesson had been cancelled. Ah well, no worries. I used the opportunity to go and clock out of school which I haven’t bothered to do so far this week.
As I drove back home it started to rain though nothing storm-like. It had already blown through by the looks of things. I figured Baipad wouldn’t want to ride and a wet road would have made it more difficult for her too, so I thought I’d drop by and see if I could chat with her a little more in-depth.
As I passed by our soi it was still blocked with electricity people running around so I assumed the power was still off at home too. Amy also called and said that she couldn’t get home earlier when she tried as the road was blocked then too.
So I hung out at Baipad’s for an hour and did get her to open up a little more and whilst not confronting any of her issues, started to get her to think about them a bit more.
She feels comfortable to talk with me though she still lacks the maturity to know how to express herself. I can report though that she is not happy with herself and does want to change, she just doesn’t know how and I can feel that her mum doesn’t know how to teach or show her either. Her mum obviously has her own struggles.
Anyway, I’ll try my best to support, motivate and teach her some skills that can bring up her confidence. It’s all valuable reminders for me too.
I came home around 6 pm and it has been raining most of the time since, 3 hours now, with a comfortable temperature again, which I, and most probably everyone, is grateful for.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I got my new teaching schedule today. It has changed a little bit from what I was expecting, with me being given 24 hours instead of the 22 that the other teachers get. I’m not going to complain though.
I like being in the classroom, with the kids so another couple of hours is fine and it might also encourage me to stay each day and sign out like they want me to!
After arriving home I found that our internet wasn’t working, probably due to the work going on with the poles in our soi. I hope that our provider knows about this work, but I can also easily imagine that they don’t. At least I can still hotspot and connect with my phone tonight and we’ll be out most of the day tomorrow.
Something I learned today?
Both Jet and Praewa sent me messages today because they got their study schedules and they were upset that I won’t be teaching them this year.
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
Any of the minor challenges that I’ve mentioned above didn’t feel that difficult at all (except the lunges) and my state of mind was good enough to accept everything as it came.
I took this picture of the Utopia FB post and sent it to Noey. She wanted to know where I was because she hadn’t seen me today. I should be there on Sunday though.
What kind of artist were you when you were young?
When I was about 5 or 6 I always got told off for drawing castles instead of writing. I tried to compromise by writing something that allowed me to also draw a castle!
In my teens, I got deep into punk iconology, cut-up style and sloganeering. I made many posters like this, including a huge one that I submitted for an art assignment. I also painted a picture of a faceless punk in a three-piece suit, crucified on a cross.
My forays into the artistic world ended up more around words but also into producing booklets, fanzines and posters. I don’t have the creative drive anymore to do this, perhaps hampered by a lack of time due to other endeavours such as writing.
Did you paint, colour with crayons, build things with blocks?
Painting and colouring yes but I had an aversion to building things. Other kids had Meccano but I could never figure out what to make with it. Similarly, with Lego, it seemed like too much effort to make a shitty version of a house or something like that. My imagination didn’t run in that direction.
What kind of creative acts did you enjoy?
When the punk ideology hit, the ‘anyone can do it’ attitude, I wanted desperately to be the singer in a band and so set about writing lyrics. This was from about aged 11.
A little later this also turned into writing brief poetic thoughts of which I was constantly churning out.
I always enjoyed doing that though somewhere along the way in my 20s, I stopped writing those until I started again in 2020 when I remembered how much I enjoyed it and got back to doing it again.
When did you write your first poem?
I guess it would have been in 1984 when I was 15 or 16 though I probably had some before that, written for an English class. The earliest things that I held onto were from 1984.
What was it about?
Poems from that time were about petty thoughts and trivialities of a schoolboy’s life. It turned serious though as depression sunk in and the future looked bleak. Back then though I could write about any little thing that sparked my interest. It was fun.
How did you come to poetry?
As described above, through writing lyrics. I still consider what I write mostly as being lyrics rather than poetry.
1994ever 