Lazy to get up despite kinda waking up at around 7 am when I could’ve got myself going but instead dozed until around 10 am. My body is aching in a good way.
Today I’m grateful for:
An afternoon storm today! Hooray! It was a bit of a surprise.
Unfortunately, it also highlighted that the builders that came to fix our gutters in the garage have actually made it worse than before. Sigh.
It seems impossible to get anyone to do a ‘proper’ job of anything here sometimes.
The best thing about today was:
Amy being out in the evening with Paew leaving me happily at home with the cats, Youtube and comics for company.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
After getting up late and knowing Amy was going out I decided I would only have a light lunch and then get my favourite fish dish in the walking market in the evening. I also figured I might buy another hash brownie to relax even further.
Anticipating this had my mouth watering but sadly the fish stall wasn’t in the market today and the shop that usually sells the brownies was closed!
Never mind. There’s lots of time to enjoy everything.
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
I spent the last ten minutes before getting up this morning contemplating whether to skip exercise this morning as even laying in bed my thighs were still aching from working out two days ago.
But I forced myself and even though the app keeps giving me push-ups to do I just figured to replace some of them with arm curls instead. I did some knee push-ups though. Maybe one day I’ll be comfortable doing push-ups.
Maybe. One day.
I took this picture because this is what our new gutter is like and it’s only now I see that it is so shallow that in big rains here it’s going to force water into the roof. I don’t get why they’ve done it like this. It’s just fucking stupid.
Forgetting how shadows fell to the ground When winds blew the dust without a sound A solution so final was finally found And everyone thought ‘never again’ But it wasn’t a matter of if but when
Good in the morning after excellent coffee and a pleasant drive to Paew’s shop for the blessing lunch which was fine until I started to flag at about one pm.
I came home first and hopped into bed listening to jazzcore as I like to do on lazy weekends. I let the crazy music guide me into light lucid dreams occasionally lulled deeper.
Amy woke me up with all her friends coming back here to carry on the drinking and celebrating which is fine with me so long as they leave me out of it. I’ve hidden in my cave until it quiets down a little before trying to get to bed.
Today I’m grateful for:
Paew’s dad who is always happy to see me and practice his English despite every time I see him he is drunk and says the same things over. I can feel that he is sincere though.
The best thing about today was:
Finding that there are two new issues of Love and Rockets to read and also grabbing the last year’s worth of 2000ADs which I may get to reading in about five years’ time at the rate I’m going. I love comics.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy was happy that I was not bothered about her bringing her friends home to party despite me not feeling 100% and tired. It’s not a big deal. Our house is ideal for entertaining and has only been filled with me and the cats for most of the last two years.
I noticed a bit more recently that my hearing has deteriorated and I especially struggle when there’s lots of surrounding noise like there was at the lunch this afternoon. Maybe it will encourage me to listen more carefully.
Something I learned today?
Paew and Mee will go back to Bangkok soon. We thought that they might stay a while longer but it seems that despite living with their family the internal politics are causing them problems that are easier avoided by distance. We hoped they might just move out of the family home and stay somewhere nearby but that seems to have changed.
What is my favourite song right now?
I don’t listen to songs over and over like I used to. The only time I do that now is when playing along to songs on my guitar to practice my playing. I could still list about 50 songs that are favourites in that regard.
What are my personality traits?
I’ve been kicking this one along for a week or so. As the question is worded, my flippant answer is ‘all of them’ as surely we possess all the traits to some degree or other.
As I searched for a list of traits online to guide me to answer this question, it seems established that there are five main traits but diving deeper provides lists of anywhere between 20 and 721. So I thought I’d find an online test or two and see what the internet thinks my personality is.
Even this was a little disconcerting though as depth is difficult to consider. A question will trigger a memory where I would strongly agree or disagree with it at that particular time.
Yes, I need to answer the question as I feel about it right now but the past also has contributed to my current personality. All the doubts and worries of the past that I no longer have have made me what I am today.
First result:
Advocate INFJ-A
Advocates are quiet visionaries, often serving as inspiring and tireless idealists.
62% introverted – Introverted individuals tend to prefer fewer, yet deep and meaningful, social interactions and often feel drawn to calmer environments.
Advocates (INFJs) may be the rarest personality type of all, but they certainly leave their mark on the world. Idealistic and principled, they aren’t content to coast through life – they want to stand up and make a difference. For Advocate personalities, success doesn’t come from money or status but from seeking fulfilment, helping others, and being a force for good in the world.
59% INTUITIVE
41% OBSERVANT
Intuitive individuals are very imaginative, open-minded, and curious. They value originality and focus on hidden meanings and distant possibilities.
47% THINKING
53% FEELING
Feeling individuals value emotional expression and sensitivity. They place a lot of importance on empathy, social harmony, and cooperation.
63% JUDGING
37% PROSPECTING
Judging individuals are decisive, thorough, and highly organized. They value clarity, predictability, and closure, preferring structure and planning to spontaneity.
71% ASSERTIVE
29% TURBULENT
Assertive individuals are self-assured, even-tempered, and resistant to stress. They refuse to worry too much and tend to be self-confident when striving to achieve goals.
I’m not going to disagree with these results but also can’t help feeling that they seem horoscopic in that the words are generalised to a point that they could apply to anyone.
Second result:
The Lively Center of Attention
Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who’s constantly in the centre of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who’ll always cheer them up and help them out.
This quiz was much less academic than the first. I can adapt the results to apply when it comes to dealing with my students but they don’t seem to equate much to the results of the first.
Ok, let’s try one more. This one is way more detailed.
Third result
Well, I took 10 minutes to answer 100 questions and at the end, the website wanted 20 dollars before giving me the results. Never mind.
What does that tell you about my personality? I’m a cheapskate and what some website thinks my personality might be isn’t that important to me.
No picture today once again but Hayden sent me this shot from his recent trip to Paris. I’m glad he’s getting to see a bit of the world.
Self-conscious annihilation is the only freedom Everything else is a self-generated illusion Does consensus happiness increase with your end? Willing and able to come to this conclusion
Based on the idea to make legal the choice of euthanasia at age 75.
Today I’m feeling:
Exhausted again. What is it with Saturdays? Last night I was up til 1am and I think it was purely because I did my two hours of work in the afternoon when I might normally have had a nap on a fully free day. So my energy levels were up. This morning I ignored my alarm and the cats until Amy woke me up calling from Chatswood. My brain wasn’t functioning but after she hung up I decided I should get up. A couple of coffees had the desired effect and made me feel so good that I had a third along with some free coconut ice cream. All was good until about 3 pm and I couldn’t fight my aching eyes. Waking up again a couple of hours later and I still can’t seem to get going. My left eye is still aching and is pushing me closer to actually going to the optometrist tomorrow as I’m starting to feel more concerned about it.
Today I’m grateful for:
Twenty minutes of evening rain. It’s not much but almost every day for a week it has looked like rain was coming and it just disappeared again leaving the days humid and the nights stinky hot. The temperature is reasonable again and the sun is gone so hopefully it will stay cool until tomorrow.
The best thing about today was:
Definitely, the buzz I got from my coffees this morning. I really hope that whatever the issue is with my eye that I’m not told to stop drinking coffee! I know I could do it but damn I enjoy coffee so much sometimes.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy’s friend Paew, who had recently moved back to Chiang Rai from Bangkok has found that things here are not going so well for her and her husband and will move back. That’s a shame as having her around may have made Amy more comfortable when she’s back in October. Now I’m starting to feel that Amy will not be settled here at all. Ever. I will be disappointed about this but won’t stop her from making whatever choices she wishes. At some point, I will have to go with her to whatever our next decision dictates but my disappointment will be centred around the fact that I have found relative contentment here, especially with my job as a teacher. I could teach elsewhere but I know it would involve far more work and stress than I currently have. Whatever the next thing may be it will be more work and stress than I have now. It’s hard to psych myself up for that.
Something I learned today?
Reports are that there have been secret talks between the US and Russia about ending the war in Ukraine. My question is why the fuck were they secret? It seems because arms dealers can’t keep making sales whilst folks become aware of possible upcoming peace.
How do I want to grow as a person?
I was just thinking, as I was reading an interview from 1997 with a lesbian punk musician, that these days I don’t feel so connected with what they’re saying. One thing is about my age and relative experience but another is also that I no longer run around in the circles of young political punks like I did 10 or 15 years ago. It’s interesting to look at the outside and into something very familiar. I appreciate the fight for something important whether I believe in it or not.
So I was imagining talking with the musician and trying to understand more about their passion. Or alternatively, imagining someone talking to me trying to find out more about me and my beliefs.
Now, I know we can get brief glimpses into people’s beliefs and ideas through even mundane conversation but I feel that I cannot express myself eloquently enough in verbal exchange.
When I write I can sometimes feel that certain words and sentences accurately explain my beliefs but they are intermittent and spread throughout the mess of lots of other thoughts.
To feel some growth as a person perhaps I can get some of these core thoughts into order that help me to be more eloquent.
Having said that I also consider the fact that identifying and clarifying certain beliefs could be the beginning of close-mindedness. That’s something I would like to avoid as I can still recall how my younger self could consider ‘old’ people who had become set in their ways. Perhaps it’s inevitable.
I took this picture because dawg! Dumb dawg rolling around on the grass. He’s such a cutie for a smelly dumb dog. I just wish he was cool with the cats.
1994ever 