Tag: pain

Champions – 12th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments
Julius Drost

Champions know the taste of defeat
Aces burn on the last turn
Adversity is needed to complete
The winner’s desire to learn

Plans B and C, as good as A
No best case wins the race
The champions turn up to play
And look their failures in the face

There’s no luck to lift the cup
Making a plan to play the hand
Even when dealt downside up
A champion will understand

Submitted to WDYS # 244 and inspired by a recent David Elikwu newsletter

Today I’m feeling:

A bit groggy, perhaps sick, in pain!  I didn’t sleep well because of the pain in my hip and I’m limping around a bit today.  It’s a bit of a drain on my thoughts.

I’m also on the edge again with a sore throat.  Lots of Covid and dengue fever around at the moment.

It’s cool again with some rain but the grey skies are feeling uninspiring.  I’m motivated to sleep more.

Today I’m grateful for:

The young chemist who spoke good English helped me get some tiger balm patches to help my aching hip.

The best thing about today was:

22 Grams coffee for the morning. Gui closed House today to go to Bangkok, so 22 Grams is my next choice. It would be my first choice if it was nearer school and cheaper. 

In the end, I didn’t stay too long as I came to the hospital to drop mum and pick up Amy, who hadn’t slept much as dad didn’t get into his operation until 11pm and out again at 4am.

I came home and struggled around with my painful hip, which seems to be agitated by sitting down.

Something I learned today?

It’s Spain’s birthday today and he told me that he is now 15 years old, which means that he is a year older than everyone else in his class.  I guess that he was held back a year at some point because of whatever his minor social disability is.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

At around 5 pm I was getting hungry and Amy had mentioned the uni having a market on Fridays now. 

I dropped by to Baipad’s to see if she would practice riding up there and though she complained, I convinced her to do it. She lets her lack of confidence stop her from doing things to improve herself. 

Her sister jumped on the back too and we slowly made our way to the uni but there was no market sadly, so we headed back and then Baipad wanted to show me where Fahmai lived and we went there too but he wasn’t home.

At the end of the day, I think that Baipad gained a little more confidence in herself at least hopefully understanding that repeatedly doing something will improve her skills.

Baipad’s chatty kitten, whose name I’ve forgotten already.

Clear Away The Clouds – 5th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Live to sleep, to inject death
Into every day and forever keep
A dying breath along the way

Your body goes, follows the mind
There’s no return, God only knows
You cannot find, cannot learn

Clear the clouds, your time is fixed
Give it worth and raise the shrouds
Before you’re nixed from this earth

inspired by a quote from Marcus Aurelius

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired but in a good mood.  I’ve been waking up before my alarm quite often which is a little annoying as I know I’m not getting quite enough good sleep.  This morning as I was dozing and waiting for my alarm to go off I wondered if it was because I was excited to exercise.  That was quite an interesting thought for me. 

I moved on to Intermediate leg exercises this morning and got through it pretty easily.  I don’t think I can move up to Intermediate arm exercises yet though.  I still don’t have the strength in my back, shoulders and arms yet and I’m still waiting for my right shoulder to fully recover before getting back into even the Basic exercises that I normally do.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the drivers that let me cut into their queues so that I could get to work a little quicker this morning (actually every work morning!).  Traffic is getting busier and busier along the bypass now and the dumb traffic light systems they have in place frustrate everybody. 

Anyway, I will let people in when I am in a similar situation and see other folks being in a hurry.

The best thing about today was:

Getting paid!  But now I have to be really careful with the reduced payment again this month.

Can I stick to no more than two coffees a day and nix the third that I have every other day or so? Buy less snacks, no candy for the kids, no meat sticks for the pups….?

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As soon as I got paid I settled my account with Gui at House.  That was just over 1000 baht! Gah! 

He has offered to let me pay once a week before but I told him I didn’t want to do that because I can fool myself by only paying 130 baht a day, convinced that that amount is acceptable.  But seeing 1000 baht a week…..that I can’t rationalise!

Something I learned today?

Today was Baitoey’s birthday.  I only taught her a little bit last year and she was quite quiet in class but she is always friendly and playful with me since then.  I gave her 5 baht as a gift because that was the only money I had in my wallet!  My last 5 baht!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

My old student Noah was complaining about T. David this morning and then in the afternoon, after they had a class together T. David complained about Noah and her attitude.  So I thought I would message her and see what the story was. 

She said she has given up in his class because he goes too fast and she doesn’t understand.  When she told me that other students do understand I encouraged her to ask them for help (though I know she has struggled to make good friends in this class).  I told her not to give up and that I will help encourage her as much as I can.

Kru Ning talked to me a little after our classes about some of the grade 7 students we share as they sometimes don’t show up to her class, or do little or nothing whilst there. I confirmed that they were a little difficult to get motivated and gave her my suggestions though I struggle with them too. 

It was nice to actually have a Thai teacher ask my opinion, or for my help, with our students.  I guess usually they don’t because perhaps they don’t want to admit that they are in that situation or admit that perhaps a foreigner might have another angle or useful idea.

I took this picture because when I got home I found a package from Ryu in Tokyo with his Stacked State CDs and t-shirt plus his solo CDs. I will listen to them tomorrow. A weekend of furious fastcore.

Sculpting – 3rd September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

With a hammer in hand
Chiselling at the stone
Crafting at the life planned
In one’s thoughts alone

Painting cloudless skies
To fall down to this earth
Daydream a new surprise
Meaning defines its worth

An artist in every way
Reflecting deep-held traits
When words can never say
The statue silently states

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good but in some pain. I fell asleep on my back last night which was pretty unusual for me but I soon woke up needing to pee. Back to side sleeping, my shoulders ached me awake again a few times so when my alarm went off I wanted to sleep a bit more but then I was feeling pain on the left side of my jaw as my rotten teeth decided it was time to tell me to go back the dentist. With needing to pee again it was time to get up. I still managed to motivate myself with a 100 star-jumps and out to have a day of coffee, reading and ironing.

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to watch a funny podcast on YouTube that made ironing 17 shirts more pleasant than normal.

The best thing about today was:

I found out Hayden has a new girlfriend called Vashti and I was surprised to hear that she is Aboriginal. I’m not sure why I find that surprising. I only ever met his first girlfriend who was a stereotypical pretty blonde-haired blue-eyed girl. He sounded very happy today and looking forward to his new job doing support work which he is hoping to start in the next week or two.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In general, the garden is out of my control or more specifically it is too big and I’m too lazy to get it under control fully. My priorities lay elsewhere. Handled by Amy asking if we needed the gardeners to come again to which I replied ‘Yes!’

Something I learned today?

Having removed a ton of YouTube subscriptions I returned to Little Chinese Everywhere and Yan’s journey from Europe to China. This time she was in a small Georgian village nestled in amongst rolling green mountains. One particular interaction stood out to me when the old lady owner brought breakfast and Yan said thank you in Georgian and the old lady gave her a hug and said thank you in Chinese. It reminded me of the goodness within most of humanity.

What mystery fascinates me?

Ultimately the mysteries of the truths of the world. Growing to be more aware of histories written by victors or manipulated by those in a position of strength I’m left contemplating what it is that I know that is true. So many lies are so often repeated these days and so much information and counter-information is available. What is it that I should believe?

Mysteries of origin, the universe, the planet, humanity. How can it not entertain the mind? The existential mystery of meaning.

The mystery of what I will eat tomorrow.

I took this picture because I found Tigger sitting here in the unkempt grass and though his colour is stark against the green in this picture he somehow blends in and would be difficult to spot for unsuspecting critters wandering by. Here he just seemed to be enjoying the sun after dinner and looking a little majesterial.

Pick Up The Gun – 23rd August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Can no resistance be explained?
The water surrounds the rocks
Doing nothing is still doing something
That can’t be explained to the jocks

To pick up the gun is enticing
But ultimately is an excuse
It’s the escalation required
To break through a lasting truce

The wisest study the art of war
Their patience is to be admired
While the provocateurs will eat themselves
Without a single shot being fired

inspired by the titular Bill Hicks bit

Today I’m feeling:

With doing extra exercise in the morning I’ve been falling asleep a little earlier these last couple of nights and with no meals yesterday after breakfast, just snacks, yesterday I woke up tired and sleepy.

I pushed through exercise this morning despite feeling like I could give up. I’m glad I did that. My body feels good and my brain, despite telling me I’m tired, exhausted, sleepy etc, is feeling good too.

Today I’m grateful for:

My little plastic toe separator for my left foot’s big toe, trying to push it back into line and hopefully ease the pain in the main joint. I’ve tried a few others but they have ended up being painful to wear for long periods. This one I can wear all the time (except when wearing shoes).

The best thing about today was:

A sudden feeling in my feet that was free of pain. It was really noticeable though only lasted for a couple of seconds. I will be pleased if this is a sign of moving towards pain-free feet. I know this is an odd thing to list as the best thing but I was shocked when I felt it. In my negative thought mode, I wonder if perhaps my pain receptors are turning off instead!

Something I learned today?

Thaksin came back to Thailand after 15 years in exile and went straight to jail. He’s 74 years old and has health issues and the talk is that he will have to serve 8 years in prison. This all happened on the same day his old political party made a deal with their foes to form a government without the party that won the election earlier this year. There’s something tricky going on for sure!

What am I curious about?

Hmm.. I feel a lot less curious about things these days. As with the quote from the other day, I’m aware that there is so much I don’t know but I’m also not concerned with it either.

Maybe I’m curious about how long I will live and be able to ward off senility and fragility. I’m not really fighting against it but trying to maintain what health I do have. Ultimately it doesn’t matter.

I’m less curious about music these days as I have so much backlogged that it’s overwhelming. If I was still involved in a scene I would be more motivated to keep looking for new things. I kinda miss that but enjoy other things instead.

I’m curious about how I feel when I fly to Australia in October. This will be my first time in Australia for a short holiday, much like we would do every couple of years from Australia to Thailand. I’m not looking forward to the prices though!

I took this picture because it took me a moment to realise what this was from inside the door. This beauty is bigger than my hand.

Spreading The Pain – 10th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

I hate myself and I’m letting go
I’m about to tell you what I know
Transferring hate counters my pain
Until I start to feel the hate again

A vicious circle, beyond my control
I chose to further damage my soul
If you refuse this hate from me
How will I ever learn to be?

Closed my mind to all your tales
All my successes feel like fails
I found myself brought to my knees
To spread more pain as I please

A walking contradiction runs away
From all the friends that want to play
A pain no longer able to bear
And no helping hands left to care

A loser in life, love and existence
Taking the path of least resistance
Kill me now, I’m scared to commit
Suicide – I just can’t do it

Today I’m feeling:

Bleary but upbeat. I hung around at school for an hour enjoying hanging out with all the many students I know and even some I don’t know. I came out for coffee but sitting here for a couple hours has seen my energy levels fall and I decided to cancel my class this afternoon and go home, especially as Amy leaves again tomorrow morning.

Today I’m grateful for:

Some sun breaking through for an hour or two to dry our washing. I still have a couple of doonas to take to the laundromat that will need washing and drying which I’ll try and do this weekend.

The best thing about today was:

Coming home to find that Amy had mopped and vacuumed before she leaves tomorrow. As we have another long weekend coming I can enjoy a clean and relaxing house.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

We’d told Aing that I fly to Australia on October 12th so asked her to come here on the 11th. As I had to tell Bronwyn and Jochen what dates I would be there I thought to double-check my flight details and discovered that I actually leave on the 9th! Luckily we hadn’t booked her ticket already! With a few messages back and forth everything is confirmed and we’re good to go!

Something I learned today?

I watched another Jerry’s Take On China about how the US is stirring up trouble in the South China Sea about a reef claimed by both China and the Philippines. Amazing how easily reality can get distorted through the lens of corrupt and compromised media. I find it difficult to reconcile that I’m more likely to trust Chinese state media these days. At least in amongst the weirdly Asian political presentation style it is just generally facts that are stated. No opinion or bias just plain reporting. The criticism will be that it is completely biased to the party’s doctrine but that criticism can also be directed to any Western media these days too. No matter the many-party system, there is really only one party. As the old saying goes, ‘It doesn’t matter who you vote for, the government always wins’.

What are some of my favourite song lyrics?

All the quotes that I entered here for 2022 I entered into a little notebook to send to Hayden. As there was lots of space left I decided to fill it with lyrics that I love. But when going through them and looking at them as words they somehow lose their impact. Some words carry their emotion in the way they are sung along with the memories of sweet times gone.

I took this picture because I received a nice package from Reece in the USA containing the Flesh Narc compilation which I will release soon, along with a whole slew of bonuses that I will have to find time to enjoy.

Aspirations – 2nd July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We invented the Joneses
Something to aspire
Keep on the treadmill
Tweaking on desire

Bold, beautiful and rich
A mansion in the hills
Chasing after a life
Defined by constant thrills

Today I’m feeling:

Yesterday I felt like I was on a bit of a high but today feels the opposite. I can’t quite figure out why. I slept well enough but perhaps not long enough as I ended up back in a deep sleep from 11:30 until 2 pm. Since then I’ve not been enthused about anything and passed an hour or so pulling up weeds.

Today I’m grateful for:

Noey’s coffee. Now she is capable of making a perfect cappuccino for me. I like to think that I contributed to her improvement by always allowing her to make my coffee so that she can get more practice, though in reality there is obviously more to it than that.

The best thing about today was:

It’s almost 6pm and there is nothing of any real highlight except for Noey showing off her belly button with the clothes she was wearing. Or the satisfaction of a square metre of the garden weed free for a week or two. It’s not been a bad day either. Just not much of anything.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’ve been getting an aching pain in my eyes. Also a vague toothache around my jaw. Maybe I’ve got some sinus problem or perhaps even just a bad tooth that is causing pain elsewhere in my face. It could also just be looking at too many screens. I should probably go get my eyes tested at some point again. I don’t feel like my vision has gotten worse but a new pair of glasses might help. 

When I look at my glasses I always see a speck on the left lens from when they dropped on the floor in Kimi’s bathroom not long after I first got them. 

Something I learned today?

Watching Little Chinese Everywhere as she(Yan?) travels to Tibet and the second-highest hotel in the world. The highest being in Peru. The scenery in Tibet is quite amazing.

What is a fear that I would like to overcome?

I suppose I still have plenty of fears but not sure I feel the need to overcome them. For example, my fear of spiders is not particularly life-threatening or would be life-changing if I overcame it.

I was chatting with Ellen yesterday and she had just been tandem skydiving in Sichuan province. I’ve thought about doing that before but feel afraid. The fear is not of the height or hitting the ground, the fear is about losing control, fearing fainting or heart attack or something like that.

Still though, it’s not like a fear of skydiving is holding back my dreams in any way.

I took this picture yesterday because I’ve never been on this side of the dam at the university before. The whole university grounds environment is exceptional but doesn’t seem to get much use. It’s too hot or wet most of the time and you need a motorbike to get around. The only thought I did have is that there are many places you could go for a romantic walk, talk or view. I don’t know how much of that happens here though.

Sold To The Highest Buddha – 26th June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There’s money to be made
If you repack old Deepak
A rewrite of insight
A new cover displayed 
Brand is a brand
A mix of old tricks
A bird in the bush
Worth two in the hand
And so we gots
All the words of Watts
That always made great sense
A new guru on Hulu
Selling a finger of ginger
For the most ridiculous expense
This week’s wisdom to counter fail
Stacks up as unread mail
But Sadhguru has no care
His followers split 
And now do sit
In their very own golden chair

Today I’m feeling:

Full up after eating two baked potatoes and a whole tub of ice cream. I slept well and got up and got going. My finger still hurts a lot but I’m trying to ignore it and just continue as normal. 

Today I’m grateful for:

My umbrella that was next to useless in trying to keep me cool standing out in the middle of the football field. At least it kept the sun off my skin somewhat. Now I’m sitting in the shade but my shirt is soaked through with sweat already. Welcome to scout week.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling pretty laid back and enjoying my more recently found ability to go with the flow in situations such as today. David was railing against it just like I used to and I had to remind him to relax. He said he needs to know what’s going on and needs to structure. I told him that this is not the place for that.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

This morning I spent two hours hanging around at school just to hold my arms out for five seconds to line up the primary students. I was improperly trained for about twenty seconds in how to hold my arms out. I did a great job!
I forced myself to enjoy this colossal waste of time even knowing that I will have to do something similar for the next two days too,

Something I learned today?

I’ve been quite impressed with Yuval Noah Hariri’s book Sapiens so I went looking for videos of his and was quite shocked to find that supposed Christians resort to calling him the anti-Christ! His offence (in the video I saw) was just saying that AI has the ability to start its own religion and to write its own Bible. What seems like a straightforward suggestion to me seemed to trigger many dogmatic non-thinkers, those tied up in the narrative that there can only be one god and that he is mostly white and lives in America. I’m projecting a little with that last sentence but it smacks of ignorance that falls into a particular stereotype that appeals to me.

What are the most important relationships in my life?

Number one is my relationship with myself. If I keep that running smoothly all other relationships will take care of themselves.

I took this picture because sometimes I just find Tangmo outside the door patiently waiting for attention. I’m trying to give him less often but he keeps coming back until I shut the gate.

Breaking Up The Band – 25th June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We are a dysfunctional family of four
Carrying our tools across the floor
Ready to give you all from the heart
Before finally ripping ourselves apart

Going from friends to colleagues
We grew along with our intrigues
Soon we melded ourselves into one
Deciding to take the whole world on

The fun stopped one night in the rain
The last note ringing could never explain
A flick of the switch to mark the end
The crowd goodbyes a dearest friend

Dining out on those glories past
Provoked so many questions asked
Time will put in order the truths
The connection made by these four youths

written after reading the Jawbreaker interviews in We Owe You Nothing

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again. I had better energy and was able to do my warmup in the morning before coffee. The rest of the day has been a steady supply of all right.

Today I’m grateful for:

The beautiful fat dark clouds covering the tops of the mountains this morning after a night of intermittent rain. It looks like it will rain more but I decided to ride my motorbike out for coffee so that I could remember the feeling of being cold (the rain is cold but the air isn’t).

The best thing about today was:

Finally getting to see the Swans win again and with their biggest-ever victory margin as they scored over 200 points against the troubled Eagles. It wasn’t much of a contest but it was better than watching another dire struggle and losing. I managed to beat my shirts into shape getting the ironing done at the same time too. A winning day.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’ve wrenched something in the middle finger middle joint on my right hand and it hurts like hell. I’m not sure when I did it. I did a bit of weeding but I can’t remember feeling anything untoward at the time. It could’ve been when I was hanging, though I don’t recall anything much then either.  Playing an hour of guitar probably hasn’t helped either. I’m going to handle it by going to sleep and hope it feels better in the morning.

Something I learned today?

The biggest winning margin the Swans have had is 171 points, which they equalled today. It’s also the first 200-plus point game by any team since 2011. I don’t think it reflects how good the Swans were but how bad the Eagles were.

What is my favourite form of self-expression?

Is this not the living breathing thinking acting form of myself? If I move, if I open my mouth. My favourite form? Myself as a whole. Take it or leave it.

I took this picture from Facebook because it’s fascinating to see Chiang Rai in 1977 which is when I’d just moved to my grandparents’ house in Dorset. It was also 2 years before Amy was even born. This made me think of everything Amy’s grandmum must have seen change in her lifetime here. Time is fast, time is slow.

On The Buses – 5th June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Two weeks on the suffer bus
Do we have to do this dance again?
Always waiting for the cat bus
Under umbrellas in the rain

First two lines inspired by reading Broken Summers by Henry Rollins, second two lines inspired by Miyazaki’s My Neighbour Totoro and the title inspired by the titular 70s UK sitcom.

Today I’m feeling:

Still a little stiff but better than yesterday. I managed to be conscious of my sleeping position during the night which helped a little. As today is a holiday I’m happy to be around home and do a little more exercise and stretching.

Today I’m grateful for:

The gym rings I bought this week and can now hang from them to stretch out my back. I only have strength enough to hold it for 15 seconds but hopefully, that will improve a little. I’m not so fussed about strength though, more for the stretch.

The best thing about today was:

Getting up early and not having to be anywhere. I know I just had six weeks or more of this but my feeling is different when it’s during the working weeks. The temperature outside is just about perfect at sunrise and sunset too. I should be outside more.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

So it was, after talking with Amy and doing a bit of Thai study with her, I decided to try and fix up one of our trees. It’s the weird one that doesn’t have leaves (so it’s probably not even a tree) and it breaks off easily and exudes a sticky white glue substance that is really hard to get off the skin and as usual, I was only wearing shorts. I climbed up the ladder to try and fix some branches in place and several pieces broke off covering me in the sticky juice on my head and arms. After I finished I jumped in the shower but the juice in my hair and on my head got into my eyes and stung like crazy, reminding me of the time I got conjunctivitis in my early years in Sydney. I ended up crying uncontrollably for about an hour and even now my eyes are still stinging. Damn, that goop is nasty. I hope it doesn’t cause any long-term problems.

Something I learned today?

I learned how to play a simple Iron Maiden riff on guitar today though it took me a long time to get it right.

What do I want to focus on this week?

I suppose I want to focus on getting my body out of this pain and that will help focus my mind. I need to get my stamina back up to speed so that I am not so exhausted by the end of the week. This is a long ongoing process after many years of bodily abuse.
I always need to focus on improving my classes and management and I’m still trying to sort out some technical issues with Quizizz. It’s getting there.

I took this picture because this is my bookshelf at Utopia. I’m almost out of music biographies to read and having read all the above need to start bringing new books from home.

Ermine’s Anger – 30th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Death shed its dead skin
The anger evaporated within
Never amounted to anything
Always contemptuous of joy
The sign of a dumb boy

Devastation healed the wound
Which I myself had groomed
With a perception then assumed
The divide between us real
As now and the past reveal

inspired and pilfered from Nick Cave’s The Red Hand Files #220 and a question from Ermine

Today I’m feeling:

Energetic and content.

Today I’m grateful for:

The music store in Germany where I bought a bunch of CDs from that arrived today. More music to listen to!
I’m also grateful to the band from Istanbul that contacted me to help with their 2nd album release. It’s aces and I hope I can be involved somehow.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling energetic again. I cruised along getting things mentally crossed off lists of things that needed to be done and that I wanted to do.

I also enjoyed playing with Tokyo out in her driveway as she rolled around happily. She got a little bitey but not aggressively. She’s a lovely dog that could benefit from some proper training.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Both my classes had control problems today. The first was noisy but happy and mostly doing what I asked of them. I handled it by letting them do as they wished once they’d completed their tasks.

The second class were late and after ten minutes I shut the doors and started teaching, not letting anyone else in. This meant less than half the class attended and it was excellent as I could focus my efforts on everyone. I handled the situation without getting annoyed or upset and letting the kids enjoy their choice not to be in class. It’s up to them now.

Something I learned today?

Today I consciously thought ‘ah, this is something I can write for this section today’ and now…..blank! What was it! (10 minutes later) Nope. It’s gone. I’ll probably remember sometime tomorrow. I should make a note of it straight away! Duh!

What is something I want to do for others in the coming year?

I want to help musicians to spread their music further into Southeast Asia as much as I can from my remote location.
I also want to help my students improve their chances of being able to go abroad by motivating them to study English more.

I took this picture because this is the Kim Chi lookalike from the hairdressers yesterday. I like that the shot is not correct, focus in the wrong place and half the head not in frame. It was an action shot. I took another picture just before this that did have everything correct but favour this one.

On Friday and Saturday, I felt very muddle-headed but thankfully woke up yesterday running at about 80% and the day felt much more enjoyable. I’d finished the cough and nose meds and just have the rib injury meds to go now. My chest is feeling generally better but I have pains in different areas than before. Also, having just been lying down or sleeping for most of the last 4 days I developed a bit of lower back pain.
As I was starting to improve last night and weighed myself before bed I realise I need to push myself much more as my weight has been slowly flourishing and that’s not the direction I wish to continue. I pushed myself a little more this morning and will also do a short evening workout, I think.
I certainly feel a lot better this morning and feel calm in my class of whirlwind kids. My patience was tested but I just keep reminding myself that I’m doing what I can for them. I also have to remind myself that they are still just kids, finding their way and working things out.
I could be talking about myself.