Unrecognised alive Ash and dust Swirl around your eyes As the grim sun starves Flies start investigating The first on-scene To witness the horror
An unrecognised state Take a breath Before the bullet Where revenge rises from the shadows Books and bodies burned On the wrong side of the fence The olive trees have no branches
One day, one day God’s wrath will flood the earth again
Happy, though a bit undecided. I woke up with a start, enjoying my sleep and a sexy dream (with Amy) and struggled through my first 20-minute video exercise, which made me feel good but also on the edge of over-exertion.
At school, the kids that I regularly visit in the morning were all in pretty good moods, and we chatted and played a little. Now I’m waiting for the first coffee to kick in before heading back to school early to help Kru Tang again, and then my first class of the day with my grade 8s.
Today I’m grateful for:
Gui for allowing me credit again last month and then for getting paid and being able to pay off the debt.
The best thing about today was:
I felt a bit rushed today but still got a few things done. I got to Kru Tang at 9.30 and whilst waiting for her students to arrive, my grade 11 students were doing an online speaking exercise that instantly gave them a CEFR and IELTS score.
I tried to help them a little bit and also thought it would be a good test to do with my other students too.
Something I learned today?
As I was leaving school yesterday, a car drove by and a shout came, ‘Hey, Teacher Shaun’. I looked around and waved back to see ShinChan driving an old car. This morning I saw him and asked him how old he is, to which he replied, 15!
He told me that he lives with his dad and they have a motorbike and a car. Sometimes his dad will take the motorbike, so he has to take the car to get himself to school.
He has a motorbike license, but I don’t think he can get a car license until he is 18. He knows to be careful, but could get caught out if someone crashes into him.
It’s good that he has taken some responsibility at an early age, and I have to chuckle a little at the way things work here.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I caught up with Anchan briefly this morning and found out that her mum should be home in a couple of weeks’ time. That’s great news for her if it happens.
Sitting with Baipad and Fahmai this morning, Fahmai said that Baipad is smart and beautiful. I told him that Baipad doesn’t think that she is and asked him why he thought that might be. He said he couldn’t understand that, and she quickly stated, ‘I’m not confident’. Hopefully, these kind words her friends say about her are remembered and will accumulate to bring her confidence in the future. Fahmai said that he is smart and beautiful, demonstrating his confidence.
Later on I was chatting online with both of them and I asked them about whether they did anything kind today which they both found something to say about each other. Well, that’s a start.
Kids playing together, July 2024. Earn, Dena, Namthip, Nicha and Fah, my old students, now grade 9.
Contented and happy. It’s the end of the day now, and it feels like it’s been a big, long week. I think it may only be the second full five-day week of teaching I’ve done in the first 7 weeks of this semester so far!
But, it was a day with three different but interesting classes that I enjoyed a lot. The first was with grade 11s, where they are putting together presentations, and I taught them about using grammar checkers and ChatGPT to spice up their content (and hopefully, they don’t get smart enough to use it to write their presentations in full!) I was actually surprised no one in the class knew how to use it already.
They all went through their presentations again, and though they are mostly still ranging from awful to average (with a couple of very good ones) we are going through it slowly and adding, improving and practicing and I’m hoping that they can feel that they are slowly improving over the course of the semester.
After that, I did the Thai Ghosts lesson with the Hospitality/Japanese grade 11s, and they were all quite interested and keen on it, though I was happy to acquiesce to their demand to finish off the work as homework so that we could all get out for lunch a little earlier. I had to go to the bank, too and could sneak in an extra coffee at House whilst out.
So, after the morning disappeared in a flash, it was on to my grade 8s, where all they had to do was a 30-question online quiz based on the 6 texts they’d written and previously answered comprehension questions on. I told them that they couldn’t finish until they got more than 75%.
I can remember writing about this last year and the fact that the lazy kids who forget their books are going to get caught out as they won’t have what they need to refer to.
This year, the class did much better, and it was really enjoyable helping those that are struggling with the English and showing them how to find the answers. I could feel them getting all serious as it was starting to dawn on them that when they’ve just been copying answers before, they haven’t developed the skills to find them for themselves.
I directed them through their books, giving them clues on where and how to find the answers, and they were all quite proud of themselves by the end. It made us all happy.
Once home, I’ve just sat in front of the TV trying to unwind. I’m tired but not sleepy yet. As I’m writing this, though, I’m reminded of just what a good day it has been.
Today I’m grateful for:
Finding old videos of Ipswich Town from the 70s and 80s on YouTube and feeling all nostalgic about those days of watching football on TV with a picture quality worse than 360p.
It’s interesting to read some of the comments of others who were around at that time too and how much respect Ipswich got for their achievements, even from fans of other teams.
The best thing about today was:
Pretty much as written above. Very enjoyable.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In my last class my student Ten has finally fallen out of favour with almost everyone after his closest friends have deserted himself, realising that he just treats them like shit. They talked with me about him today, and they are struggling with it because they try to help him and encourage him, but Ten gives nothing back.
I can see clearly that he is compensating for his lack of ability to learn and develop social skills, and I can also see that my behaviour at times would have been similar.
He sulked around the classroom, not really attempting the work, and I decided to let him stay that way while I was helping others. I asked him a few times to get started, but he just slouched off elsewhere until I found him again staring into space.
Finally, I translated for him, ‘Pick yourself up. Look at how hard students like Nut and Namsai are trying to understand. You can do this too.’
After about 80% of the students had finished and I started letting them go, I found Ten in the next classroom with Ploy, KanomBang and Namsai helping him, showing him what I had just shown them. I joined in, and we all encouraged him, and by the en,d he managed to pass and felt a little better about himself.
He’s learning some big lessons right now, and it will take him a while to recover. It will be interesting to watch.
Something I learned today?
Kru David told me that Thailand ranks something like 140th in the world for education. I joked that there are not many more than 140 countries! It’s sad for these kids but good for me. I’m trying my best, and I have my own expectations, but in general, the expectations of the school won’t be that high.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
As last week, I dropped into Kru David’s least favourite class to teach (but with some of my favourite kids) and helped Nicha and Fah to try to get to grips with what was trying to be taught, which was alliteration in poetry. They both looked perplexed and wanted to give up but were happy to let me try and explain to them so that they could at least get something from it.
Whilst I was writing something to help Nicha, she was playful and brought her eyeball up to mine and then her nose to mine and laughed and said to Fah something along the lines of ‘I almost kissed the teacher!’ I ignored it and brought her back to the writing, but it was a little weird, I guess.
I have no problem being mildly affectionate with my students in a fatherly way and Nicha could still pass for a primary student as she is so small, skinny and still a little immature in her behaviour. But afterwards, I was thinking how I would react if she had pecked me on the lips!
I know some of these kids are testing things with me because they feel comfortable and safe to do so, but there is also a line that has to be drawn.
Anyway, Nicha and Fah went to Kru David with the bare amount of understanding but at least now had the confidence to do so, instead of running out of the class as they had been doing in past weeks.
Pretty good again. Got up and exercised and am now out for coffee.
A couple of days ago when I was moving the tree I got bitten by an ant on the inside of my little finger and now it is distractingly itchy. Because of the location it’s not easy to get a nice satisfying scratch on it and it’s super annoying.
Today I’m grateful for:
Art lending me a backpack that I can use on Sunday to go to Bangkok. I also found out that Monday is a national holiday so I don’t have to worry about not being back in time to start work!
Also, a sneaky little doze whilst listening to video discussions on YouTube whilst Amy did the watering and washed the car!
The best thing about today was:
Watching more of Three Body. I’m loving the slow pace of it. It seems each April holiday is marked by watching some TV series or other whilst avoiding the heat. A couple of years back it was Narcos.
I think last year though I ended up playing Xbox more than watching TV and I actually had planned to do that this year but in the end just didn’t bother.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I was on a roll and in the zone whilst sipping coffee this morning, first reading, then inspired, then writing. But I started to feel a little dizzy and knew I needed to come home and eat. Otherwise, I would have loved to have stayed longer and written more.
Tomorrow I won’t have so much free time as we will be running around most of the day doing things for Grandmum’s 100-day ritual.
Something I learned today?
Israel’s prime minister Netanyahu is likely to have an arrest warrant for war crimes issued by the International Criminal Court. Whilst it is likely just a symbolic gesture and he would unlikely ever be arrested at least it shows the world stands against him.
Russian president Putin also has an arrest warrant issued by the ICC but that was instigated by USA propaganda and that is all falling apart.
The world is starting to rise against the genocide perpetuated by Israel on the Palestinians and supported by the USA war machine.
Also, last night I watched a video from Thai Talk with Paddy and he was presenting 12 things that he didn’t like about Thailand. Whilst many other farangs agreed with some or all of his points there were others that I couldn’t believe just how self-righteous they were.
I don’t understand how you can say someone’s opinion is wrong. You don’t have to agree but you must be smart enough to at least counter their opinion. These days people don’t bother to do that just believing that they are right.
I don’t know why this particular video and comments stood out to me, maybe it’s been accumulating for a while. I will cut out this view of negativity as much as I can because it is just a waste of time and energy.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Noey and Natalie were in Utopia whilst I was there this morning and they were preparing for a presentation. I wished them luck.
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
I did as much of the exercises as I could this morning though I am weak in certain (most) areas. 3 sets of 60 lunges had to be cut down to 3 sets of 40 and 3 by one minute of static Superman I just held for as long as I could. But I didn’t skip or give up.
I took this picture because I’m hoping this tree can survive the move from pot to ground.
Some things are indefensible We all make mistakes The idea is to learn and grow No matter what it takes
When genocide repeats itself What was the fight for? When the persecuted rain down Their own hypocritical war
When destruction becomes immoral What must a soldier do? Take a big bite of courage To get the message through
Propaganda no longer hides The truth of all this killing To turn a buck for a belief In a society no longer willing
Today I’m feeling:
Good, after forcing myself up and to exercise. I really wanted to sleep more so I’m happy with myself and my motivation.
Today I’m grateful for:
The local hospital and Dr Poom, my medicine dispenser. I was able to get straight in today with barely 5 minutes wait, despite it being very busy. I also asked about information for my students who are struggling and what to recommend them if and when they go to the hospital.
It occurred to me today that after Baipad tried to overdose on paracetamol all the hospital were concerned about was her kidney health. It seems like maybe no one even asked her why she did it!
Anyway, the info from Dr Poom was useful as they have a child psychiatrist there and psychotherapists too.
The best thing about today was:
My energy levels being great for most of the day due to that morning exercise. I felt energetic and inspired through all of the day and though I wasn’t doing much strenuous work since the morning I just kept going from one thing to another.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
As mentioned a couple of weeks ago there has been a change to access the full replay of the AFL matches online and whilst I was able to access it with a VPN last time, today it didn’t work and I was getting wound up by it while trying to figure out a way around it. Eventually I just had to resign myself to watching the 15 minute mini-match highlights. Disappointing but all I can do is shout at the clouds.
Something I learned today?
I learned that it is costing the USA 200 million dollars an hour to keep the genocide rolling in Palestine. Or as the USA likes to call it, defending Israel.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent pep messages to Anchan and Baipad this morning. I also chatted a little with my other students, Freya, Winter and Wipping.
I beeped at the annoying BMW in front of me that failed to move at the traffic lights, meaning that we all missed it and couldn’t go anywhere. I was frustrated for a minute.
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
I picked up the guitar again today and it sucked! But I persevered even whilst continuing to suck. I need to change the strings too. They sound dull – much like my playing! Never mind. I won’t be deterred.
I took this picture because this was the view from our dinner table on Saturday, looking over the Mae Khong to Laos.
Similar to yesterday in that I feel like I have an oncoming cold.
Yesterday’s trip to the hospital doesn’t seem to have fixed up Amy’s skin allergy so we’ll go to the city this evening to see her doctor who usually is able to help with issues like this.
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy’s specialist skin doctor who advised exactly what she thought her problem was and prescribed medicines to help. Amy trusts this doctor and was much more upbeat after seeing her.
The best thing about today was:
Finding out which classes I will teach next semester. Some new challenges for me that have got me thinking already.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When Kru Karn first showed me my new classes I saw that I would teach my two most testing groups of students again. Ah well, I can deal with it, I thought to myself.
As it turned out it wasn’t my classes and I found that I don’t have to teach them at all!
I haven’t exercised for over a week now due to not feeling well and also due to the toxic air. I don’t want to be gulping down big gasps of it, trying to catch my breath whilst exercising.
Something I learned today?
A Boeing employee was giving evidence in court blowing the whistle on the company (for what I’m not exactly sure). Boeing’s lawyers asked him to stay an extra day to add more detail and answer questions. However, the following morning he was dead by supposed suicide! And he had already told colleagues that if he was ever found dead it would definitely not be from suicide. Will corporations in the USA still be allowed to get away with murder?
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I messaged David that the new class lists were available so that he could go and get it from school and start preparing for next year too.
My vile deed today was cutting into traffic at the annoying traffic lights near the hospital. Minus a karma point or two.
Sick. I already decided that I wouldn’t go to school last night and I slept for 11 hours and woke feeling no better. I grabbed some medicine which did help and when I finally ate that helped a lot too.
I have to go to the dentist tomorrow so I hope to be feeling better by then.
Today I’m grateful for:
Water. Over the last couple of years, I’ve watered the garden less and most things seem to survive from what they get during the rainy season.
Often now though our pump stops working and Amy believes it is because there is not enough ground water to pump up. I don’t think that can be the case though as there was so much rain last year.
Unfortunately, that means that there will likely be something else that is the problem that needs fixing.
At the moment we can just restart the pump and it’s ok again until the next time we want to water the garden.
The best thing about today was:
Watching the first episode of the Chinese adaptation of Three-Body Problem. It was pretty good and the second episode is free to watch online but I’m not sure if I’ll take the time to find and the rest to watch for free.
Something I learned today?
More Children Killed by Israel in Gaza War Than in Four Years of Worldwide Conflicts
More than 12,300 children have been killed in the Gaza Strip between Oct 2023 and the end Feb 2024.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I did some watering whilst Amy was busy with her family organising things for the wedding this weekend.
Along the road, we met, orphans of the storm Cursing the life to which we were born Sitting on these steps, desperate and forlorn Soon alone again, an orphan of the storm
Cap woke me up three times during the night, to let him in and out of the bedroom. Another time I needed to pee and then the birds started singing and my alarm zapped me up.
I contemplated snoozing but pushed through and struggled on with my intermediate abs exercises. I felt good about that and the cold shower but then as I was listening to my students doing pairs reading I found myself tired.
Fortunately, they were all called off for the second period to practice for the ceremony on Thursday to wish farewell to the grade 9 and grade 12 kids, giving me an extra hour free today!
Today I’m grateful for:
Max from Ad Interim contacting me again to see if I would like to help with their second album.
I’ll give it a listen first but have no issues working with them again as they paid back their first album loan within six months of receiving their records.
I’m extremely grateful to be asked to help them again.
The best thing about today was:
Nong Freya being the only student who came to my class today and still wanting to be taught.
I guessed that the class were practicing for the ceremony on Thursday and as she is somewhat excluded socially in her class I’m guessing either no one told her to be doing that or that she chose to come to class instead. Either way, if she wants to study then I will teach!
Being just one-on-one makes for a lot of clarity and ideas to be shared. I was able to see how she worked and thought about things (we were just doing a simple gap-fill exercise) and I also got to hear how well she can read, something which I don’t often get a chance to do in normal class time.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
As described here, there were a few surprises thrown at me today and I handled them pretty well.
Something I learned today?
You can hear a blue whale’s heartbeat from over 2 miles away. Their hearts weigh roughly 180kg.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I replaced the light bulbs in the garage and at the front of the house today.
I helped Amy by carrying some ceramic pots to where she wanted them in the garden.
I got pens for two of my forgetful students this afternoon, whereas normally I would deduct points from them.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 25. Take Action. Don’t just sit there, do something. Without action, there is no outcome.
I have followed this mostly, sometimes out of spite or contrariness, proving that I can do something, either to myself or to others and other times out of a desire to inspire; if I can do it then anyone can.
All the action has amounted to me being here, where I am in the world. Generally happy and satisfied.
I took this picture as a follow-up to yesterday’s picture as the flowers end up falling on my car.
Pretty relaxed and happy. A little tired as Amy kept me up late when she got home last night, tired and emotional, overthinking about family things.
Today I’m grateful for:
The jelly candies that I bought in Mae Sai last month. I’ve been eating them myself because they are delicious but they are also a good candy to give to my students as treats. They mostly prefer them over the fruity Mentos.
The best thing about today was:
Having my students read one-on-one and two-on-one in my classes today. I was happily surprised by a couple of students’ improvement over the last twelve months. I like this time of year for the relaxed attitude towards study.
I’ve thought before that it would be good if it could be like this all the time but when I think deeper it is perhaps because of all the pushing and hard work during the year that they have gotten more comfortable with their study.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In the morning Amy told me she wanted me to come home between classes to take Cap to the vet. I wasn’t into this idea because I wanted to chill at the cafe, catching up on reading and also because with the change of plans at the weekend it meant driving to the city and back twice instead of once. Her plan for today would’ve meant another two trips in one day.
I suggested it would be better to wait until we got the truck back and then she can take Cap at her leisure. Thankfully she agreed to this idea before I left for school.
Something I learned today?
I saw a headline about a Palestinian mother’s newborn twin babies who were killed in an Israeli airstrike. She had been waiting ten years to conceive.
Zionists sure know how to inspire hatred. This will not end well.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 24. Never Look Back Too Long. Reflecting on the past is only good for one thing: Learning.
I am taking a lot of time looking back these days as I go through putting information into this blog. I am sometimes nostalgic but as the life lesson says, I am using this information for learning.
I’ve almost fully given myself over to my students and Amy these days. I’m less inward-focused in my day-to-day life even though I do do a lot of thinking.
I’m happy where I’m at though not sure where I am going just now.
I took this picture of the flowering tree that I park my car under in the afternoons, in a vague attempt at keeping it cool. The flowers are pretty. I think I took a similar picture last year.
As a depressed teenager I carved LIFE IS PAIN into my arm. It is a constant reminder. I live for the struggle.
Where I now teach, some students were wasting time in class playing a (pretty dumb) video game. I asked them what they got out of it and they said it was fun and they learned that by driving the car faster they earned more points.
I asked them how this was useful in real life and they had no answer. I told them that life is not fun. They looked at me seriously and asked me what it was and I sure told them…. LIFE IS PAIN.
To reiterate the point I twisted their arms behind their backs until it hurt and asked them – WHAT IS LIFE!? PAIN, PAIN – they screamed.
We all laughed (please don’t imagine that I am some sort of ruthless prison guard with my hyperbole) and they went back to their game.
But one day…..they will remember this.
Today I’m feeling:
Positive and happy. With Amy off for the day, I will take some time to catch up on emails and writing.
Today I’m grateful for:
The twenty-baht shop where I bought more light bulbs. The lady there is an attractive and young-looking woman but today I discovered, and couldn’t believe, that she has a daughter who looks about 8 or 9 years old. The daughter was curious about me and when I gave her a wink she broke out a big smile.
The best thing about today was:
It’s been a pretty lazy relaxing afternoon with a bit of reading and watching YouTube. Watering the garden was about as good as it gets. I want to see things grow, grow, grow.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Although it was in my control I ended up spending about 1000 baht today, buying coffee, light bulbs, soda water and remembering to order the car seat covers on Lazada. No more inessentials for the rest of the month now….
Something I learned today?
From Rise of the Global South Telegram group: Swedish Diplomat Count Folke Bernadotte Personally Saved 31K Jews from Nazi Concentration Camps – He was Shot Dead by Members of the Jewish Stern Gang in Jerusalem in 1948
He was killed at point-blank range in a motorcade ambush after writing a UN report based on the devastated Palestinian villages he personally witnessed.
The go-ahead for the murder came from the future Prime Minister of Israel, Yitzhak Yezernitsky.
Israel knew the names of the men who committed the murder, yet nobody was charged.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I took Amy to the city and the family to the temple for Grandmum’s 100-day prayers. Then, I dropped Mum and Dad home, picked up Aor and dropped her and Amy at Paew’s. My taxi duties done for the day.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 23. Create Something. Not to leave a legacy, you won’t be here to see it anyway, but to be of use. Make music, write a book, build a table, anything. You’ll feel good about yourself, plus you give something back to people to use or enjoy.
Growing up I always seemed to be creating something (apart from a nuisance), from artwork, poetry and lyrics, music (of a sort), then creating or advancing a scene in the Sydney DIY space, producing records and so on.
I’m proud of the things that I have done and consider it my legacy but only for myself to enjoy. It has all made me feel good about myself and I know I have inspired others with some of the things I have created and seen them get enjoyment from them too. Every day I still create something.
I took this picture at temple prayers for Grandmum and while not having any connected belief to this or any faith, I did find this short ceremony quite comforting.
You burned down our house But home is in our head We marvel at the pyres And warm ourselves instead
We are the free ones Wandering and wild Whilst you guard your toys The spoils of the child
For all the sermons High up on the mount You carry more burdens Than anyone can count
The title refers to the Dangerous Girls song ‘Step Out’ that repeats the phrase “demolition”. The first stanza refers to Edison watching his factory burn. ‘Wandering and wild’ refers to Wasted Youth’s album titled “Wild and Wandering”. The burden is a reference to what Israel will carry once they have completely destroyed Palestine. 8th May 2024 – Submitted to dVerse Poetics
Today I’m feeling:
I felt pretty good after getting back from coffee but whilst settling into some reading some felt sleepy and had another three hours rest waking up again at two pm
Today I’m grateful for:
The shop where we sneakily parked our car and decided to get out and walk the rest of the way to the festival.
The best thing about today was:
The atmosphere of fun and pleasure at the festival. Folks were having a good time.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Taking an hour and a half to get to Singha Park for the balloon festival, stuck in traffic for more than an hour and missing any sunset photo opportunities. At least I could listen to my music whilst in the car.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I remained patient whilst stuck in traffic (and hungry)
I took this picture because we had a nice spot by the lake to watch the balloons being inflated though it was a little windy for them to go up tonight.
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