A cautious step on an icy ledge
Let slip the dogs of war
The days of diplomacy are over
And goons are knocking at the door

Never hold the gaze for more than a second
The men in black are tweaking
The files are closed on past misdemeanours
Until they’re ready for leaking

Good job Gloria, that’s how you do
Surviving all these years of top
Surveilling from behind the screen
Until the penny is about to drop

Baby’s got a blankie to hold
A security against the fear
The blinds are drawn, doors are locked
So it will not happen here

A boy in a bubble, breathing hope
He wants to be just like you
Who decides on a normal life
When they will surely die too?

Today I’m feeling:

Ok so far though getting up was difficult.

In the middle of the night, I was dreaming of Forest Cottage again and knew I needed to pee but, still in the dream, it felt like it was so close I had to run to the bathroom and when I got there I saw in my pants that I couldn’t contain it all in time but I enjoyed the feeling of relief as I wondered when I would ever stop peeing.

Finally, the dream woke me up realizing I needed to pee and thankfully I had managed to contain it so far. I fumbled out of bed still not quite with it and stumbled around the edge and head first into the wardrobe. With a loud crack, I dropped back onto the bed waking Amy and suddenly wide awake myself. I have a nice forehead bruise for my troubles this morning.

Today I’m grateful for:

My subconscious, telling me to wake up and go to the bathroom before wetting the bed. I hope these dreams don’t stop and I long have the ability to make it to the toilet in time.

The best thing about today was:

Hearing that our aircon component is here. However…. he’s here working on it right now and whilst it is working the air is not cold. One problem fixed and perhaps another created. Have to wait and see. It would be nice to be back in our familiar bedroom again although Amy is saying that my snoring is disturbing her sleep and wants to sleep in separate rooms!

About an hour later and we finally have it fixed again. Woohoo!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

For my second class today I planned on using Quizizz online but as I sat to start it everything had disappeared from my account which was a bit of a worry as there are weeks of work of mine there, but I figured it must be some site-wide issue that will get fixed in time. But what to do for my class that was already ten minutes through the one hour allocated?

In my earlier class, I had played categories with them which went well enough but took about 20 minutes to get set up. During my break, I had taken five minutes to put together the table in a document so the kids didn’t have to draw it (which one student had struggled with!). So I quickly ran and printed off the sheets and divided the kids into groups, taking most of the phones off them, and allowing just one per group to use for searching answers. 

Thankfully this group of kids are pretty obedient and even if they are not sure what I’m saying they quickly learn from each other. We were able to quickly have fun playing the game with 95% of the class taking part before I allocated 4 students to clean and kicked the rest out to their next class. Job done!

Also, with the aircon repair taking an hour or two I’ve run out of time to play guitar today which is a little annoying but I know that in the future there will also be days with lots of free time and I will be too lazy to play. Also, sometimes taking a break from something reminds you how much better you’ve become when you pick it up again.

Something I learned today?

Wow, I just finished a long chat with another student suffering depressive symptoms. Although I didn’t see it before their behaviour makes sense in hindsight.

Who has made a difference in my life lately?

I guess this one is pretty obvious for me right now as Amy has been back for three weeks and is about to leave again already. When I’m by myself I can get into a very familiar routine that becomes comfortable and though the acceptance of that change wasn’t that difficult it was still something to work through. When she is back again permanently things will change again and a new routine will reveal itself.