“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
Softened by the sounds of reminiscence
Wrinkles remain around teary eyes
Grateful to hear words of confirmation
Previously hidden in reluctant compromise
Inspired by my students telling me that they wanted me back as their teacher.
What possible good can come from ignorance about other people?
Robert Greene
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to the gardeners who transformed the out-of-control garden in exchange for cash and Amy’s parents who oversaw them and left me delicious food.
The feeling of power you get from hard-fought experience is stronger than the urge to change your mind, even when it’s necessary.
Morgan Housel
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to Amy’s parents again as they come and do bits and pieces around the garden.
Inspired by a sample of Throwing Sparks by Abdo Khal
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be able to buy new jackets for just 80 baht at the local markets.
I got annoyed again on Saturday after talking with Nancy about parent complaints about my class being too difficult for their kids. It got me thinking over the weekend and I decided that I will try harder to communicate with the struggling students. I really don’t want to dumb down the work if I can help it.
As these complaining parents haven’t talked directly to me, I thought I should send out a positive message to them to show that I appreciated the work of the students and that their effort is rewarded. I worded it generally so that the complaining parents can see that other students are capable of doing my work and that it is not so difficult.
On Saturday, I felt like quitting again, or just giving up and going back to teaching ‘days of the week. But with some time to think less emotionally, I feel much better. I’m nervous to send messages to the parents as they will twist them in anyway that they can to suit themselves.
I know I’m not assimilating into the ‘Thai way’ but I feel compelled to give my students every chance to assimilate themselves into the world.
*quote from Stanislaw Lem
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for T. Champ to be understanding about the way I teach. He’s good to be around.
I’m pretty happy this morning to receive lots of messages from my students asking questions or submitting their work. This makes me feel better about my teaching and confirms a little to me that those parents complaining don’t understand what I’m trying to achieve with their kids. It will take a long time to change things in this country.
Is my way better? It doesn’t matter. I am the way I am and I teach what I believe. I just want the students to try and not just think that everything is going to work out whether they put in effort or not.
Sometimes I know I’m intense but it’s my character. I can change it somewhat though I find it hard. I’m also not all crazy strict with the kids and I think they like me. It’s usually the parents who are the problem! I know they have their ways that they want things done. I guess I’m not the person to do that for them! Haha!
Anyway, the good students are doing really well. They make me proud.
I’m starting to miss Amy a little already, even though it’s two more months before she leaves! I’m starting to think about all the extra things that I will have to do for myself and the cats and the house. But this time I want to have music playing all day, every day! That should make things bearable.
I’m thinking about whether to post on the MFU Facebook page for students to come and hang out on weekends and to practice their English – but I’m not sure about this as I value my free time so much!
Hopefully, we get a good holiday in April next year. Perfect! I can practice retirement.
See yesterday’s poem
4th Jun 2024 – Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to Amy’s parents for understanding her and not making any crazy demands of her.
A reasonable Monday with a couple of classes. Felt good, students playful but did their work. Did they learn anything? I’m not so sure! Keep plugging away.
I’ve had lots of thoughts go through my head that I though might be interesting to write down but I failed to capture them at the time and now they’ve left the long winding river, somewhere out of reach. If they’re important enough, I’m sure they will float back sometime.
Is life too easy? Why is it so difficult to be bored these days? I need to be bored to be inventive – to break the cycle of boredom. Wandering around looking for something to do. Perhaps a return to England would help me to be bored again?
Actually, by rights, I should be bored here. I don’t speak the language well, we live in the middle of nowhere, no music scene as such – why am I not bored? Not in the way I used to be at least.
I was thinking about what it would feel like going to shows again – perhaps I would be bored with that now? Been there – done that! I get my doses of youthful energy through my students these days – though I feel sorry for them, unsure of their futures – maybe just as I was unsure of mine at their age. Some of them have a fire inside and I don’t want to see that extinguished and hope I can be a minor kindling for them. Do I care too much?
Yesterday was a long day at Amy’s parents. I tried to drink bee but my stomach feeling sore and I couldn’t make it through the second bottle. Having not drunk for so long I felt light-headed with the first bottle. Amy’s parents provided great food which lasted through lunch to dinner!
Takky and Amy drank and drank and sang and sang karaoke with Amy’s parents. I felt surprise at Amy’s dad being 74 and still drinking through a couple of bottle of Regency. That’s some stamina.
I amused myself on my phone and a couple of bike trips to buy more alcohol for them, including a nice sun-setting ride along the new river path that we’d watched being built from De Lanna a couple of years ago.
Every time I have a holiday from school, I don’t want to go back but also want that routine of getting up and doing something.
Amy is talking more about going to the UK or Australia for extended periods and potentially I could stop working. I’m thinking I would stay in our cafe/teaching room and the local uni students could come and hang out and practice their English with me, just on a casual basis. It could be nice or I could just end up lazy too, and watch TV and read books alone.
Well, let’s see. Read back on this in the future and see where life took.
16th Jul 2025 – Since this time, I’ve continued to work and enjoy it more and more, so that even now, if I had the possibility to stop working, I don’t think that I would. Amy went to Australia for around 18 months but is back now, a bit more settled but due more to circumstance, with both Cap and her Dad being sick. Otherwise, I think that she would be off again.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to Amy’s parents for preparing their house and food for my birthday yesterday. Everyone had a good time and it was a good feeling.
There’s a tipping point, no longer equalised
Catch it quick, as soon as it’s recognised
Adjust the balance, time for compromise
An equilibrium now realised
There’s a boiling point where the flames are fanned
Control is lost to the waves of shifting sand
Change is coming forced by the people’s hand
Too little, too late and too old to understand
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for spending time out at Amy’s parents today and getting fed plus picking up some bits and pieces around town.
This morning I set myself a fairly modest goal to write a letter to Hayden. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen during the day as we were supposed to go to Takky’s new house at midday but anyway I didn’t rush to write the letter and enjoyed the morning learning some Thai and brain games and a little bit of reading.
After lunch and a bit more reading I went to my office and sat down to write the letter. I tried listening to music but found I couldn’t concentrate.
Anyway, an hour and a half later I had all my thoughts down. I will review and revise it tomorrow before sending it to Hayden and his mum.
Somewhat energised I managed to record another music podcast and do a few minutes of exercise. I’m feeling like I can do that more habitually once my new work schedule is settled. I’ll get back into writing here again every day too.
Do unto yourself what you would recommend to others.
– not sure who to cite for this quote!
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that Amy’s mum is clear of a liver tumour. She looked so happy yesterday having found out. It also made me think about her dad, who is not so bad in his own way. They have both helped us a lot.
Got to be in by ten o’clock
Say you’re prayers before you go to bed
Daddy will come and tuck you in
Eighteen years old without a thought in her head
Wash your hands before you eat
What’s he doing in your room?
I don’t like the look in his eyes
You’ll have to finish with him and soon
Parents – who’d have them?
1994ever 