Tag: patriarchy

The Useless Children – 28th May 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Men forever falling
In an upward trajectory
Coddled and enabled
By patriarchal society

Spoiled little baby boys
Never educated beyond
Their own expectations
And how their fathers would respond

Unable to face facts
Unused to quality thinking
Cultural acceptance
Sees the population shrinking

Half the children useless
The other half without success
Societies in chains
One hundred per cent in distress

Monkey see, monkey do
It’s a man-child evolution
XY chromosome death
Maybe the only solution

The patriarchal privilege in Thai society disgusts me and both women and men are suffering because of it. The solution proffered here is extreme because I don’t know how it can be fixed. I am a useless man-child myself.

The Silence – 31st May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 18 Comments

The sadness is creeping
– Into my periphery
Until it overwhelms

Salty tears a-weeping
– All about is sucking me
Deep into darker realms

My old friend
– A bitter taste of blood
A dull aching head

Let’s not pretend
– That this is good
But sleep instead

Submitted to dVerse Quadrille #202 – Darkness and Poets and Storytellers United #129

Today I’m feeling:

Tired but kept running by knowing that it’s the end of the week.  Six hours of hot and humid teaching even with brief respites in the aircon have been completely draining.  

I’m home now and will make myself a salad soon.  

I took three of the magic mushroom pills that I got from Matt and can feel a sense of pleasure rising in me and will watch some comedy to wind down the evening.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru Den, (I’m not sure if that’s her name actually) who lent me her Bluetooth speaker for my second class.  I gave her a frangipani flower in return.  I’d gotten it from a student earlier, who had put it behind my ear.

The best thing about today was:

Getting some good feedback on some of my recent poems.  I didn’t get a chance to write anything new today but whereas I used to be about a week behind in posting poetry I’m now a month ahead.  I’m enjoying writing and learning different forms and playing with it a little more.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I snuck up on Nong Fah and stuck a wet finger in her ear as she was lying down looking at her phone in a classroom. She went off in a huff and Jet said that she had PMS and had been moody all day (although she was fine in the morning when I saw her).

Knowing that it is best not to do anything more I played a bit with some other students but saw Fah dabbing her eyes with a tissue and looking really upset.  I watched her from a distance and wondered at the loss of emotional control that many females get once a month.  I can never really understand what that must feel like.

I caught her eye before I left for my own class and tried to express my sympathy with her.

Almost instantly on arriving at my own class, I could see that KanomBang was grumpy with me and her friends tried to explain that she too had PMS.  “That thing…..girls….once a month…”  I love it when the kids realise that they successfully communicated something in their second language.

Anyway, KB soon picked herself up a little bit and was ok.

It’s so weird to see the bewilderment on these kids’ faces when they go through this.  Like ‘Why the fuck am I feeling like this and can’t change it?’

After I got home I messaged a mini heart to Fah and said that I was sorry she was upset in the classroom.  She too, had recovered herself a little by then and was happy to chat a little.  I told her I was sorry I snuck a wet finger in her ear and she laughed and said she was sorry that she behaved the way she did, which I, of course, told her there was no need to apologise.

As an aside, interestingly my super smart grade 8 student Film questioned me in class why I treated boys and girls differently, something that he had picked up on perhaps when the ‘couple’ in the class were ‘fighting’ with each other.  I say ‘fighting’ because it is really just puppy love quarrel-play – nothing serious.

The kids listening were very interested when I replied that I treat girls differently because of the way I can see they are treated in Thai society and that boys are seen as superior and are spoiled more.  This got them talking a lot and whilst the girls agreed in general they said that their own families treated them like princesses.

It was an interesting idea to leave them with, to think and talk about.

Something I learned today?

I learned that Monday is a day off and on Wednesday students won’t come to school.  

Apparently, there will be a sports event at the stadium for about 10 days which is going to make traffic even worse in the mornings.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave Nicha a little pep talk when she was looking down this morning.

After I’d finished teaching I saw my old grade 9 students with Kru David and I checked in with a few of them who were struggling with his work.  Earn was all happy with herself because she told me that she had finished and, being a little suspicious, I asked if she had copied someone she shushed me and immediately admitted that she had.

I asked her what program she might do next year and she said the Chef program. I said that’s great and encouraged her to at least get what she could out of being in the English program this year.

As I was leaving I saw Aida sitting by herself and also looking down.  I actually didn’t recognise her at first as her head was tilted downwards with her hair covering her face.  Her friends said that she was upset and tired today and when I met her at lunchtime she was resting her head on the table but with a quick chat she said that she would be ok to do my work in the afternoon.

I was intent on leaving quickly but seeing her again I stopped and sat with her and also gave her a little pep talk. She didn’t say much until I asked her if everything was ok at home and she opened up that she was having some problems with her mum.  We didn’t get into it but I told her that she can talk to me at any time if she needs to.

Just A Boy – 13th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

She said we can forgive him
Because he is just a boy
As she picked up the bottles
Now empty of their joy

Without a thought or care
For the wider world around
When he needs to be somewhere
He’s nowhere to be found

Anyway, cleaning is for girls
A boy can’t do it well
It’s a privilege to clean the piss
Off the floor where it fell

Dressed in the body of a man
The brain never adapted
The childish mind, a selfish mind
Remains forever distracted

Will he ever become a man?
A real man of her dreams
She’s always doing the best she can
But never enough it seems

So, she sighs, this is her lot
To be a mother of a peer
When she weighs up what’s she got
Just what is she doing here?

Today I’m feeling:

Super tired even after an almost ten-hour sleep. I felt tired around 10 pm last night but was excited to read comics and eventually went to sleep sometime after 11. On waking I still felt dizzy and had a stiff sore neck, both of which are persisting even now as I wait for my first coffee.

Today I’m grateful for:

The kale that Amy has been growing and she threw a handful of it into my lunch of fried rice today.

The best thing about today was:

Reading Roald Dahl’s Boy about his childhood whilst in bed this afternoon and then having a crazy nap.  Woke up feeling tired for the second time today so have done next to nothing.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Doing next to nothing felt out of my control as I lacked motivation and energy. Handled by….doing nothing!

Something I learned today?

I found out that there is a Das Damen reissue of their first record that comes with a bunch of extra tracks.  I will try to find that for sure.  I think I heard that they may be making new music too.  Could be interesting.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Noey was back from her holiday and in catching up she talked about going to Australia and I told her she could talk to Amy for help with going there.

I took this picture because Creme brought these two two-day-old kittens to school as the mother had rejected them. Unfortunately, neither of them made it through the week.

What You Learned – 11th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A mother’s love, so strong and true
The guiding hand was not guiding you
A little Emporer enjoys the spoils
Whilst the princess humbly toils

Slowly the empire will expand
And falls away any guiding hand
Is what you learned enough to rule
The head and heart of a simple fool?

Today I’m feeling:

Unsure.  Last night I could feel an oncoming tickle in my throat, I thought, perhaps from burning garbage smoke in the air.  I slept early and woke up feeling ok but with more of a sore throat.  There are a few sick students again recently, including Baipad and Apple who I see on most mornings. 

Now, mid-way through the day I’m feeling on the edge.  I could either recover and be ok by tomorrow or this will snowball into a full-blown flu or cold.  Trying to stay positive through whatever happens.

Today I’m grateful for:

The almond croissant that Amy bought and we shared today.  I’m not that into them so I wouldn’t usually buy one for myself but I found it sweet and tasty, a good post-dinner dessert this evening.

The best thing about today was:

At the end of my extra class with the grade 10s today I asked 4 of the students if the work was ok and they told me they enjoyed it and it was fun.  I was happy to hear that.  I had fun teaching it too.

Something I learned today?

The shortest war in history was between Britain and Zanzibar on August 27, 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

As normal, I guided a few struggling students through their work and thought perhaps that they needed some extra information that would help them with this in the future.  I think I had an expectation that they already understood this grammar (present simple verbs, positive and negative) but whilst a few knew it, many did not.  I need to make the lesson a little clearer if I decide to use it again.

I took this picture because I’d been asking Ploy, who is now in grade 9, to draw another picture of me as the previous one she did was two years old already. I like it though it is way more handsome than the real me!

Beautiful Mess – 6th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Standing here amongst the detritus
This is certainly a lived-in room
The treaties of the past are scattered
Across a floor that’s never seen a broom

There’s an unused TV in the corner
Hoping the remote will be found one day
Tho’ full of dust, it’s fuller with love
A satisfying sty in which to laugh and play

inspired by the memory of living in Mick’s house – more detail here

Today I’m feeling:

Tired but relaxed.  Amy stayed at her parent’s last night and much of today and after coffee, hanging out washing and shampooing Tigger I slowly watched the day disappear reading, watching TV and not much else.

Today I’m grateful for:

The discounted milk protein drinks at the Lotus store – three for the price of two.

The best thing about today was:

Finishing reading Wuthering Heights, which I enjoyed much more than I expected.  I love finishing one book because it means I can start another! 

I also started reading China Underground at Utopia, the first two stories of which reminded me a lot of my time meeting people in China and to realise how much the world, and I, have changed since.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There is some family drama going on that I have absolutely no control over and so the best I can do is to comfort Amy and help her with figuring out the best way forward. 

It’s a frustrating situation that goes deep into Thai culture and societal norms that involve blind acceptance of the patriarchy. 

Whilst I knew about this, it is uncomfortably close to home this time.  It is also making me feel even more for the female students that I teach and wonder what of their future.

Something I learned today?

Our avocado tree is infested with giant hairy worms that are eating their way through the leaves.  I have to warn Amy to stay away from there as she will surely be allergic to their hairs.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I fist-bumped the staff at Utopia and the girl customer whom I have seen there a few times before and smiled and acknowledged most everyone else who came in whilst I was there reading and drinking my coffee.

Apart from that I didn’t have much interaction with anyone else today, even online.

I took this picture because these little fucks are difficult to see on the tree. There are five visible here and 100s more out of focus.