The words all emptied out of me Contemplating the push and pull Heart and head once so proud and full Sat now, a sculpture by the sea Contemplating the push and pull The words all emptied out of me
The Biolet is a six-line poem; the first two lines are repeated as the last two lines in reverse. The rhyme scheme can be expressed as ABbaBA (with the capital letters representing the repeated lines). The length of the lines can be in iambic tetrameter (8 syllables), iambic pentameter (10 syllables), iambic hexameter (12 syllables), or in unmetered lines of random lengths.
The second line doesn’t fit the iambic tetrameter but I like it there as the actual words make the reader contemplate the push and pull, chaotic like the ocean.
Tired! Gah! Reset my alarm again to get an extra 30 minutes, as I slept very well last night and wanted to sleep more. It’s another English weather day, making my eyes ache and strain again and though my classes were all fun today they also felt like a struggle.
Thankfully, my mind was in pretty good shape and I was able to come up with some good ideas on the fly.
Today I’m grateful for:
The village uncles (see below)
The best thing about today was:
Getting a message from Amy during one of my lessons whilst teaching. The message said ‘I’m in trouble’ and there was a picture of our car stuck in the mud of our lawn, as she had driven it across there to get closer to the house to unload her shopping.
I chuckled to myself as I carried on teaching. She managed to get it out later with the help of a couple of uncles from next door.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In my second class today, half of my students didn’t turn up as they had been pulled off to do something else. It was annoying to find out just as my class was starting and not have advance warning.
I dealt with it by just working with the 11 students who were there, which is a nice number of students for a class!
Something I learned today?
Ukraine has apparently reached out to China to help broker a peace deal with Russia. Hmm….whilst NATO is trying to keep the war going and possibly expanding it to China too….
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I got a message from Winter’s mum that he had had an accident in the morning and was in ER! I later found out that it was a motorbike accident and that he’s ok but his grandmum broke her arm. I wished them the best.
Last night I woke up sometime in the middle of the night with my brain running. This has happened for two nights in a row but last night it was much more difficult to get back to sleep.
A few days ago, I decided to cut the Tramadol tablet in half to try and cut down and maybe give myself a break from taking it for a while to see how I feel. And last night I thought that this was perhaps what had caused me to wake up because this waking up with my mind running hasn’t happened since I started taking Tramadol.
I will see how it is tonight and go from there. I’ve been incredibly calm and content since taking Tramadol but still curious if I can be that way without it.
Today I’m grateful for:
Nong Boom, my grade 12 student. We were studying the IELTS Speaking exam about technology and a main question was about how your life would be different without your most precious item of tech.
To demonstrate I took Boom’s phone and put it in my back pocket and asked her how she felt. After she finished, I purposely didn’t give it back, which she accepted well.
I carried on talking with other students for about 20 minutes and she only once play-whined,’ Teacher – my phone…’ but I still held on to it.
Once I’d finished talking, I opened the camera app on her phone and walked around the classroom taking random photos. Everyone was laughing and Boom took it all in her stride.
In the evening, I asked her if she had any good pictures from today and she sent me this one:
The best thing about today was:
The whole class mentioned above was a pleasure to teach again. A fair few students were missing, which made it even easier to get more personal interactions.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The downside of those missing students is that they missed the prep for work required for next week. Well, nothing I can do about that.
Also, in my grade 8 class, I have them reading in groups of 4 and Ten has not been prepared to do anything to help himself, so I put pressure on his group that if I grade the group it will be to the lowest scorer amongst them.
I know this will have a negative effect in that it will make the group members think even less of Ten than they already do but I want to demonstrate to them that this is what happens in real life. The weakest person lets down the whole team.
Something I learned today?
I learned a whole lot about semi-fake mobile game ads, why they are made and how they are implemented. It was a head-shaking experience.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I talked a little with grade 8 student Film today, as he has cut himself off from Ten and No, as they are not really fulfilling his expectations of friendship. I’m just conscious that last year he came to me to discuss his mental health and I don’t want him to be so isolated and cut himself off from everyone. It’s a weird group of kids in that class for sure. I like them all, except for Ten.
Incarnated into another low form Cursed again to never feel a real peace It’s too late now to wish I’d not been born The struggle to survive will never cease Next life, please guide me away from the storm Let me take a turn at a life of ease Shed this skin before an exchange of breath A return to life in exchange for death
A little tired but happy. I skipped exercise this morning as I was dead asleep from perhaps 10.30 until my alarm at 6 am.
My body is definitely feeling the effects of that exercise yesterday morning, so I’m ok to skip today and try it again tomorrow. It’s a kinda good tired feeling.
Today I’m grateful for:
Mee’s mum getting out of the hospital last night. I had just randomly messaged Mee to see how she was, and she said that her mum had been suddenly rushed to the hospital.
Happily, everything was ok. I didn’t ask anymore about it.
My guess is that it wasn’t as serious as Mee was making out, but I also know how important it is for her to have her mum back in her everyday life.
The best thing about today was:
Nong Praew told me that she has three dads. Her dad, her mum and me! That was nice to hear. I know she struggles in my class, not just with what I’m teaching but also socially.
I don’t know how much of an effect her medicine has on her, but she can be a little hyper happy sometimes, though she knows who to show it to and who not to show it to. I can understand why some students are put off by her, but as an adult, I can feel empathy for her.
She told me that she might move to Chiang Mai at some point because she is not happy at this school. I’m not sure how much that will help her in the long run.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My most annoying student really pissed me off today as he pulled down his best friends pants whilst he had his hands full, in front of the whole class. I asked him to leave and have since been talking to his homeroom teacher about what to do with him this time.
No previous warnings or punishments have had any effect and I believe they won’t have this time either. I will see if I can switch from teaching his class because I’ve had enough of having to deal with him.
Something I learned today?
“Do you want some tea?” Is the new kids code word “Do you want some gossip”. I found out this morning from JubJib that the gossip is that a group of grade 9 students from my old class are bullying Yurin in various ways. I think I wrote here a few days ago about it.
Whilst Yurin is unlikely to be blameless in whatever is going on, the others shouldn’t be ganging up on her either.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Kru NumNim was away from the grade 8 class this morning so I sat in and encouraged them to do their work which was a little tough as kids played and slept instead.
By the end of the class, about 80% of the students had at least put something together.
This morning Nong Praew gave me some rice crackers as a gift for which I thanked her. A few minutes later I met Lin and she looked very sad and thoughtful.
She couldn’t or wouldn’t explain what was wrong, so I just patted her back and handed over the rice crackers for comfort. I also sent her a message later on.
All it takes is a word A few syllables could start it all Pick a pill to swallow Which side of the fence to fall?
All of the grasses green Yet muddied by the other Pick a path to follow Cling tight to your brother
All it takes is a word A few syllables to end everything They all rang so hollow With the violence they bring
All it takes is a word A few syllables to make peace To calm the stormy weather And hostilities to cease
Today I’m feeling:
A little slow still. I felt really tired when I went to bed but then found that I couldn’t get to sleep and then when I woke up it felt like it must still be the middle of the night but it was already getting light.
I had a very dry mouth and was finding it difficult to breathe. I skipped exercise hoping to get an extra few minutes of sleep but I just ended up tossing and turning.
I was thinking about school and how Amy said that it was unfair that I was given extra hours to teach while Princess George could just walk away from classes that he doesn’t want to teach.
I was also thinking that maybe I’m investing too much time in my students and need to balance things better. It does bring me great pleasure though and I felt happy to walk around this morning with many students, old and new, wanting to fist-bump and chat.
Today I’m grateful for:
That my first time with another new class of grade 12 students was pretty easy despite a poor standard of English for many students.
They were all excited when I asked them for ideas of something for me to teach them in English and chose things like ghosts, psychology, Naruto and NASA. It got me up and running with many ideas which I can reuse again later for other classes.
The best thing about today was:
Teaching. It was enjoyable and I feel like I’m pretty well on top of things though I know that I have a lot of planning ahead still.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy was still wound up by the builder who responded to a Facebook post that Amy made questioning his lack of professionalism. This was the only way that she has managed to get a response from him and he was trying to transfer his anger back to Amy.
He was somewhat successful with that but her mum and I calmed her down a little and we talked more about it when I got home so that we are both on the same page with the details.
I’m not sure if we will get any refund and I’m not banking on it but we’ll give it a try and see if he has any remorse for running away from his responsibility.
Something I learned today?
Something odd when talking with a grade 12 student called S*. She told me that her stepfather is from the Netherlands and he always speaks English with her and that is one reason that her English is reasonable and that she speaks straightforwardly and directly, which often upsets her Thai classmates.
But the odd thing was that she mentioned that her stepdad sometimes showers with her and dries her off. I wasn’t sure if I misheard what she said and she was so blasé about it that perhaps she did think it’s normal and there’s nothing untoward about it.
It was definitely weird to hear that for me though. I will try and get clarification from her some time though.
Oh, and Southampton beat Leeds to get promoted to the Premier League which is a little treat I enjoyed. I’m happy for my old friends in Southampton and because Leeds are the team that my old grumpy workmate Robert supported.
I took this picture because my old students are always happy to see me. I hope I can see some of them again in high school. Me, Tonaor, Namthip, Dena, Nicha, Mei, August, Namkhing and Fah.
Pretty flat and tired. Less dizzy than yesterday and my brain seems to be functioning reasonably well but I’m lacking energy and motivation.
Today I’m grateful for:
Two awesome coffees this morning where Nick was manning Utopia in Art and Noey’s absence.
The best thing about today was:
Watching the Swans beat Collingwood at the MCG (played on Friday) cheered me up, followed by watching the highlights of Ipswich beating Sheffield Wednesday 6-0.
As I was watching the AFL and thinking about how long I have followed certain sports teams and seeing how young they are, I was reminded of the time when I was the same age as the players and thinking I could’ve done that and that is 35 years ago now. Players have come and gone but the team maintains. How long will sports last into the future?
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’m not feeling particularly hungry today so I only ate some snacks but did finish off the chocolate almonds.
Something I learned today?
In the UK, the Tories have let slip their true intentions for Gaza: they want Israel’s genocide to continue for as long as possible and they are worried about peace because the genocide is hurting Labour in the polls.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I did so little today and of no real consequence but I did accidentally trap Tigger’s tail in the door and he was understandably upset. I hope he’s ok. I saw him outside later but wasn’t able to check.
It was a missing tooth Some wayward hair A smudge of a nose That almost wasn’t there
It was a crooked smile Dry cracked lips An inch too much Sitting on her hips
It was a minor lisp One leg longer A scarred wrist Now grown stronger
No, she’s not perfect As far as all could see But it’s all those little faults That has attracted me
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good. I did some chest and arm exercises this morning, trying to avoid straining my shoulder and also hanging for a minute to stretch myself out. Had my first cold morning shower of the year, which was a bit of a challenge but sure woke me up properly.
Today I’m grateful for:
Nong Ploy for saying that she wishes I was still her teacher because she enjoys writing in English the most, which is something I like to have the students practice. And then have them read from what they’ve written.
The best thing about today was:
The winding down and relaxing feeling of the end of the semester.
I was trying to put myself in my student’s shoes about how they must feel each day, being amongst their friends at school all day and then going home to their families each evening. They obviously enjoy being at school and being with their friends but suffer the having to study part of that.
I was trying to remember what it was like for me at their age. Usually, I was excited to get out of school because when I got home I was usually out again after eating dinner and having even more fun with my friends.
The situation here feels different both because of the family set-up in many homes and the availability of mobile phones and internet. It makes for an experience that I only understand as an adult, not as a growing child.
Something I learned today?
“OpenAI’s latest model takes text prompts and turns them into ‘complex scenes with multiple characters, specific types of motion,’ and more, the company said.
The text-to-video model allows users to create photorealistic videos up to a minute long – all based on prompts they’ve written.”
As AI improves, and it seems to be doing so quickly, this could go either way. Folks could create and post anything that conforms to their narratives.
For example, the BBC could post footage of concentration camps in Xinjiang, where they keep insisting they exist. People could easily believe it, especially when it is reinforced with pictures and videos.
However, I also want to look on the positive side that due to this new capability journalists will be forced to detail, verify, check and double-check and be held legally accountable for what they publish. It’s optimistic but that is the way it must go.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
At the morning flag ceremony KanomBang was crying heavily as her beloved dog had died. She was inconsolable so I just put my arm around her and gently patted her arm. Other students were still laughing and playing and I’m not sure what they were saying but Nomsen gave her some sympathy and support too. She was ok by the afternoon and showed me a picture of her dog and told me it had been hit by a motorbike which is a common occurrence here unfortunately.
I called and messaged Khaofang as her jumper was in the classroom where she lost it the day before yesterday. When she came to collect it she was very appreciative.
What was peaceful about today?
It’s difficult to find peace when you are surrounded by thousands of students. So perhaps the first hour of the day, having just woken up and quietly brushing my teeth before going to exercise, feeding the cats and then hopping into the shower, all the while the sky slowly lightening into the morning bloom. Then I eat some breakfast whilst reading a little and the sun finally appears over the mountains and it’s time for the peace to end.
At the end of the day, post-shower and into bed. Amy on her side, me on mine and Cap swapping between us, Amy quietly scrolls through Facebook and I read books and comics until we both give in to the joy of sleep.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 18. Give Without Expecting Something in Return. Don’t keep score. You will become a bitter person if you do that. Give solely for the joy of giving. If you get something in return, great, if you don’t, great.
I may not give out too much but I expect and want little from anyone else.
Over the last few years, I have started giving out gifts as random acts of kindness and my only hope would be that the receiver will pass on the kindness to someone else.
Whether they do or not is out of my control.
What was my Ween discovery timeline?
I had read about Ween often in Flipside and was curious when their first album God Ween Satan came out so I picked up a copy. It started off well and punky with You Fucked Up but I was unprepared for everything else that came on the rest of the album. Slowly it worked its wackiness on me and I enjoyed its eclecticism over time.
So when the second LP, The Pod, came out I was looking for more of the same and it didn’t deliver for me. This seemed like weird droning moaning music and so I gave up on them, even selling both discs.
I occasionally heard them on the radio when I was living in Australia with their ‘hit’s Push The Little Daisies and Voodoo Lady but didn’t think on much further about them.
Around 2010 sometime, my friend in Melbourne, James McGauren had met and fallen in love with a Swedish girl and was making the move there and he decided to sell off a big chunk of his music collection. He had all the Ween albums.
Fuck it, I thought, I’ll give these guys a go again and picked up the whole catalogue for cheap. Slowly I worked my way through each album and fell in love with them all. I scoured the internet to find quality live shows and all their demo recordings and ended up with about 50 discs worth of Ween to enjoy.
Listening back to The Pod these days, I can understand why I didn’t enjoy it at the time but now I rate it as a favourite.
I never saw them live but have their live DVD and whilst I appreciate their entertainment abilities I prefer the quirkiness of their records.
I took this picture because this old man was looking relaxed when I got home.Fatman report
There’s no freedom without morality Or institutions to provide education For freedom to provide peaceful reality Needs reassessment of this situation
We (a royal we, a royal we of the West) are obsessed with freedom but we’ve misunderstood its reality. Freedom does not mean freedom to just do as you please. It must have some moral guidelines and that part is being eroded and going missing in our modern Western societies. I don’t know so much about other societies in depth but I feel that they have a different relationship with ‘authority’. It’s a choice to make and to pick your battles.
The shampoo that helps clean up Tigger’s skin. It leaves his coat feeling good and hopefully, this is the last time I have to wash him for a while as the blisters have almost all gone now. Luckily he doesn’t mind me washing him too much now.
The best thing about today was:
Starting to read Death’s End. First at Daytripper and then in the cooler late afternoon in the hammock. Already thought-provoking in the first 40 pages. Awesome.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I couldn’t resist an afternoon nap after reading and I spent an hour fluctuating between lucidity and what felt like deep sleep. As I was falling asleep waves of euphoria hit me dragging me down to dreamland. It was delicious, I love that feeling and tried to make it last longer but the pull was too strong. I handled the ‘waste of time’ with sixty jumping jacks when I woke up and after shaking out my head a little.
Something I learned today?
After China brokered a deal between Iran and Saudia Arabia last week there’s talk now about the possibility of negotiating peace between Russia and Ukraine. That would be the biggest diplomatic coup so far this century.
Pushing the world toward peace is the exact opposite of what the US has promoted for the last 70 years. I really hope China can pull it off.
How can I express my creativity today?
How? In any number of ways. Anything is possible. However, I didn’t really. The two photos I took were about it. I did get some students to test my online lesson though, but I created that yesterday and will update accordingly tomorrow. I guess I got some ideas. Not every day is creative, much as we might like it to be.
I took this picture because it’s time to start a new book and get back into a good story. The third part of the trilogy and it’s off with a bang and a twist. I got to Daytripper early so not many people around. I also started to feel sleepy as my body and brain winds down from the intensity of the classroom.
From orange to red, we’re ready To march off into four-cornered war Fortunes hold battle lines steady When it’s forgotten what we’re fighting for
And twenty years of resistance Have been unable to remove the stink Yet perhaps with a little more insistence Peace may be found with CODEPINK
Today I’m feeling:
Content. Happy that I have the afternoon free from classes.
Today I’m grateful for:
Lachlan and Mike for sending me the lost package replacement of the HCT album release from last year though they unfortunately also sent me vinyl instead of the t-shirt I ordered.
The best thing about today was:
Going to Daytripper and learning a new card game with some of the students there. The game is called Keng (I think) and after getting a quick understanding of the rules I played a few hands before I had to go and could see there was a deeper strategy involved.
I’ll play again if I see those kids there again. I’ve seen them there before but today was the first time I’ve been introduced.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Struggling to think of anything, except my students as per usual but even that didn’t bother me today.
Something I learned today?
From listening to Jello Biafra’s podcast I learned a little about Ukrainian history and if I remember correctly Ukraine is where the original Russians are from, something about Vikings moving down from the north.
I also put 2 and 2 together about the connection between Russia and the ‘rus’ in Belarus though I think I might’ve acquired that knowledge many years ago and since forgotten.
Whilst listening and considering these things it makes one wonder why we’re fighting over arbitrary borders that have changed over the years. One of the interviewee’s stories was about a family member who had lived in three different countries without ever moving house!
What are some of my favourite memories from past travels?
The extreme dry heat in Rhodes, the smell of a new world, swimming at the pool, riding around the island on a motorbike, getting naked at the pebble beach, the broken bottle of ouzo in my luggage on return.
Landing in Sydney for the first time, the smell of lemon-scented gums, riding on highways wider than I’d ever seen, through so much beautiful scrubland, mountains and rivers.
Landing in Guangzhou, China, clueless; again, the smell of a new world, wandering around the Forbidden City in Beijing and a ruined part of the Great Wall in the countryside, the food! The food! So many different places around China and crazy stories. One day maybe, they’ll be written down before forgotten.
The temples in Kyoto, the flashing neon of Osaka and Tokyo, the food! Beautiful walks in Nikko and the onsen in Minikami.
The crazy car ride from the airport in Kuala Lumpur with Epit, meeting up with Lex at Batu Caves, the start of a great friendship with Kimi and staying in his many residences over the years, the food, the monkies, the waterfalls, the monitor lizards.
In Thailand, the rice paddies, the valleys, the waterfalls, the beaches, the food!
I took this picture because my routine doesn’t vary that much and I’m here again at Daytripper though this time at a different table than usual. The temperature is cool due to the haze though it doesn’t seem to be from smoke or at least not the usual lethal smoke.
You can tell I’ve been watching too much Trailer Park Boys recently.
So I’m sending a letter from the past. It’s Feb 21st 2022 and I just talked to you this weekend. You sounded pretty upbeat and happy. You were helping your friend move house. Is that friend still around?
It was great to hear you sounding happy. And at least if things weren’t going your way you still seem to be being positive about them.
Right now, it’s been a couple of weeks since Amy came back to Australia. We miss each other a lot but support each other in what we’re doing. I wonder where we all will be when you receive this. Right now, I’m hoping I’ll still be chilling in Thailand, maybe even not working.
It’s a dirty war where enemies become friends And friends enemies to further their own ends To the victor the spoils, to make up the rules To put out the fires burning on hated fuels
Some will celebrate whilst others may flee An order emerges to which most want to agree Freedom for the ignorant, itself its own cage Repeated ad infinitum on every history page
Better to be oppressed than constantly scared It’s all relative when your life has been spared Safety comes first, freedom a patient wait Rebuilding lives, thankfully able to create
Stop running tired now passed that difficult test Grateful once more, living again, amongst the blessed
I am so happy and grateful that in my dream last night I tried to protect the people I love – even though I woke up screaming, waking up the people I love!
I was not in the best of moods over the weekend but not terrible. I think I ran out of energy yesterday and just ended up reading and watching TV. Last week, on Monday, I gave George some ground coffee as a gift and to show that I’m OK with him even though he doesn’t interact with me anymore.
Then, on Friday, as I was listening to YouTube and just before writing my entry here, he came into my classroom, which was a bit of a surprise, and I smiled towards him as he approached. He came up to me with the coffee and said, ‘Why did you give me this?’ I said, ‘No reason – just a gift. You drink coffee, don’t you?’ He put it on the table and said, ‘I don’t accept gifts for no reason’, turned around and walked off. I was speechless.
I sat for a while, writing my entry and decided not to mention this and to think about it over the weekend first. This may have also affected my mood a little, but I realise I feel quite resilient to this kind of behaviour! It gets me curious about what makes people act in this way. Suspicion? Pride? Culture? Anyway, I will ignore this stupidity,
I talked a little with Amy and Bruno about it. Amy blames me for even trying to interact with him. Bruno agreed that it was strange behaviour but not so uncharacteristic from what he know of George. We all agreed that we all feel sorry for Bee, who knows what he is like and puts up with it, whatever her reasons.
Anyway, I gave the coffee to Champ this morning, who was really appreciative of it!
1994ever 