A Happy Fat Cat – 20th November 2023

This project is almost over
Say your farewells and let me go
I’m tired of these waking hours
It’s time I slept
Don’t shed tears, it’s not failure
But a circuit complete
I dream one day to be an eagle
Or a happy fat cat
But now we must let it be

You’re welcome to say a prayer
But save it for yourself
Whisper it to your own ear
And listen to that breath


Today I’m feeling:

Well enough to exercise again but I’m coughing up lots of phlegm and although my throat isn’t too sore from coughing its giving me a headache.

I’m pretty tired after my first class and could easily sleep. At least I finish at 2.30 and can get home and relax for a while.

Today I’m grateful for:

My grade 8 class students slowly maturing, advancing their skills and understanding what I require of them. I’m starting to like them again, despite loving and loathing them!

The best thing about today was:

Finishing writing up two books to blog posts. Now there’s a bit of space in my bag again though there’s plenty more books to go yet.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My broken tooth is starting to get sensitive and its fricking painful to drink anything cold. My other dodgy teeth seem to also be coming out in sympathy pain too.

I go to the dentist in a couple of days but I don’t think that they will fix it there and then (unless they have a go at pulling it out, which maybe the best option in the end)

Something I learned today?

There’s a lot of volcanic activity in the world at the moment so it seems though perhaps it is just that I’m seeing more of that type of information presented to me. In the same manner it seems to be flooding everywhere that is usually a desert.

Our perceptions are so easily manipulated.

Hey, all is quiet down our street.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I tried to get over my dislike of one of my students by involving him in the class a little more and trying to be firm and consistent when he acts up.

In another class I supported a couple of the struggling readers with some one-on-one time and also tried to broker peace in a quarrel that they were having. 

Amy ordered a new shoe rack which I duly put together with little complaint even though there were other things I wanted to do.

I believe there were no vile deeds today (as per most days now).

What are some of the sources of stress in my life right now?

Not having a visa currently us a little stressful, though in the process of getting sorted out. 

The possibility of not getting paid next month is also stressful especially as I have a few things that require some extra cash, such as getting my teeth fixed again.

Beyond that things are pretty cruisy.

Me and Tulip being stupid last week.Screenshot

*Dreams – 19th December 1998

Email to TLJ:

Babe

Oh man – I wish you would call! I miss you badly sweety – and then I realise you’ve only been gone less than two weeks! I had a bad dream on Friday night. Me and your Dad were comparing the sizes of our bellies and both saying how we should get some exercise (this wasn’t the bad part of the dream by the way!). You’d also just come back from Taiwan and were happy to see me but then didn’t want to talk about anything and you half joking, half meant it when you told me to go away. So I went away…You didn’t come talk to me until later and then you were shitty with me for going before! Anyway, this all made me feel down when I woke up and I wanted to speak to you – make sure you’re all right and everything. I hope you’re still having fun there – sure wish I could get some contact with you though – if I had yr number I’d be calling.

The gigs on the weekend were pretty cool. Gerling were good and Not From There were good too – didn’t stay til the end of their set though – I’d had a few drinks (wasn’t driving) and needed to go home and sleep. I walked all the way from Annandale to Central – stopping off to pick up a veggie kebab on the way – which was the best food I’d ever eaten considering how hungry and tired I was. By this time I’d sobered up considerably too!

Next gig was Vicious Hairy Mary at the Globe – didn’t stay for VHM but saw Testicle Candy who were fuckin awesome. Oren and Robbie from Phlegm, Lucas and two Japanese dudes. They just made a racket then ran round the back out the side through the audience and round back on stage round and round – hitting things when they got back on stage! Lucas had had a major operation on his arm a couple of days before and was in a sling and cast! The audience was pretty nonplussed! Zenryoko Onanies were great! Funny, fun punk rock n roll. Absolutely Japanese. I met an old friend called Troy too and got his number which was cool.

Hayden had a fantastic weekend with lots of toys and lots of fun! He had a bit of a temperature on Sunday but we still had fun. I had him in no nappy most of the day trying to get him to go on the potty. He did some wee in there which was cool – but left a trail of sweetcorn poo up the hall! He was quite proud of that too! Well, no rest for the wicked – back to work….Come home safely my angel – I can’t wait to hold you again.
Your pal, your friend

*Notes – 3rd September 1998

Email with TLJ

S: Hey. Hope yr having a fine day. I’m still lost and gone in last night. Hope you can come along tonight after Patti Smith. Daevid Allen is tomorrow night. Me, I’m every night! (For you)
Shaunus the Menace

T: thanks for last night babe.

S: Anytime – you got it!

T: still lost with ya.

S: YYYYEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

T: i still don’t know what my plans are for tonight, i may have to skip what is music and go tomorrow night instead,

S: OK – you take care getting home tonight though.

T: though i was still pretty keen to see Jad Fair and Daevid Allen.

S: Yeah, I think Jad Fair should be interesting but all the others will be good. Looking forward to Sportsbra who is Nick from Phlegm (I think).

T: Hum’s address is 81 oxford st. paddington,

S: I’ll meet you there although I’ll probably be late and may not be able to get in. I’ll meet you outside after it’s finished. If YOU can’t get in then I’ll meet you outside and maybe we’ll go get some dinner somewhere (cheap). Actually I could probably give you a lift to a station somewhere when you need to go home. WIM starts at 8(ish).

T: and ph 9331 xxxx for enquiries. I’m hoping to get there early. what time do you reckon you’ll leave what is music? tonight?

S: If you go whenever you want – if you don’t go then whenever I want! Probably late -just depends on how tired I am but I’ll try and see it all.

T: i was thinking i might get the new patti smith cd to see if i can get it signed. – but it’ll probably be too busy.

S: Good idea – tell her to say hello to Bob from me! (Have you heard the new Patti Smith though?) Toe to Toe covered Rock N Roll Nigger as an encore to their show at the Iron Duke recently. Great song.

T: write me what you’re doing buddy babe, tlj

S: Falling deeper and deeper in love!

Maximum Rock ‘n’ Roll #156 All Australian Special – 1st May 1996

Arriving in Sydney, Australia I soon made it an objective to find the punk scene here. I found the record stores, the pub venues and slowly fell in with those making it happen. It wasn’t exactly the same as I was used to in Southampton but close enough.
One of the first people I was introduced to was Sean No Deal (his record label was called No Deal) and Bronwyn and I hung out with him, his girlfriend and friends around Newtown sometimes. Everyone was friendly but obviously, I was the outsider and it wasn’t easy to break into this group’s inner circle.
Coming from cold England where we kept ourselves busy doing things so as to stay warm I sometimes found the laid-back attitude of Australians a little frustrating. I thought I could take advantage of this and get involved somehow in making things happen a little quicker. I just had to figure out a way.
I’d already been up on the Central Coast and got into DJing on the local license-seeking PCR-FM where I played the most out-there music that I could find. I’d also stumbled upon the folks behind Phlegm and the soon-to-be-launched What Is Music? Festival.
In hardcore punk terms though, Sean seemed to be the one guy everyone told me to talk to and after doing so I found out that he’s pitched to Maximum Rock ‘n’ Roll about doing an All Australian issue of the fanzine and had already started work on it. Awesome – that sounded like something I could really help out with. I threw around some ideas which were agreeable – ie – go for your life!
In keeping Sean up to date with my ideas I asked for all the contacts he had around the country and then to see what he’d done so far so that I didn’t double up. This is when I found out that next to fuck-all had been done so far and some of that was already out of date. It surprises me that Australians ever get anything done sometimes but that’s also one of the things to love about their laid-back attitude.
I took everything Sean had and decided now was the time to throw myself into something. Bronwyn and I were back in Sydney from the Central Coast, with a baby on the way and me just starting my career in IT. I needed to get this done before the baby was born and do it I did.
About four months after sending off a package of papers, pictures and floppy disks a free copy of the fanzine arrived in our mail and I was quite proud of what I’d managed to achieve in such a short time.
In the end, there were many other contributors who provided scene reports, interviews and information and I was really just the focal point to bring it all together to make it happen.
I’ll add some posts here with some of the interviews I did and the whole magazine is available at archive.org.

Proud to be alongside these legends. In the following decade, I would also meet Mykel Board and Adrienne Droogas along with Lawrence Livermore again.

The one thing that got pulled from being printed was an interview with Oren Ambarchi and Phlegm and the What Is Music? Festival, which is a shame because that was what I was most interested in at the time.

A gorgeous hiccup in the social fabric – 5th December 1994

Catch up again now we’re the other side of the weekend.

Thursday became an exciting day after the discovery of how to make a tape trade list on the computer so I set about doing that, in between playing games and stuff like that, and I get to realise just how many tapes I seem to possess and realise how long it might take to write this list. I do the same for most of Friday and the sun shines in through the window tempting me out.

We leave for the city as Broni has promised to babysit for Libby and Dougie and I’m off to see some bands, having half arranged to meet a guy who does a fanzine. Libby feeds us a treat and decides not to go out after all so Broni and her play together while I make my way across the city to the Annandale Hotel. Aaron, the dude I’m supposed to meet, says there’s two good bands playing tonight so I pay $6 to get in and then astound myself by parting with $4.60 for a beer, the band starts, the room is packed, I look for some dude selling fanzines. As I don’t have any idea what this guy looks like or sounds like, I don’t find him, the band has a good sound, a great sound, but they are boring as all hell grunge by numbers which goes down well with the crowd.

I stand at the back and pick up a copy of the weekly music magazine and see that Phlegm are playing at the Vulcan (wherever that is), Phlegm having already aroused my interest by being reviewed as a noise band and having played with the Boredoms and Ruins in Japan (or something like that), so I happily leave and start walking back to the city, hailing a taxi at the petrol station, getting dropped off near the Vulcan.

I walk down the side streets, luckily having some idea of where I am, but nervous as I walk past three big guys drinking in the shadows of the houses. The Vulcan is within sight though and I head toward the noise. As I go in the band is playing right next to the door, I join about four other people watching, the Vulcan is a divey little back bar but to me seems absolutely great, reminding me of sparsely attended gigs back home years ago.

The band is playing good thrash/grindcore with lots of time changes and wild vocals from the drummer, also a keyboard player content just to make strange noises with his equipment which integrate quite well, extremely tight and intricate they strangely appeal to me and I have no interest in that genre of music really, so I’m already happy to make the decision of coming here instead of the previous engagement.

I ring Broni to let her know what’s going on and then come back in to watch Farm of Tongues, the drums are set up oddly and one bass player has six strings on his bass, he also reminds me of Mick, with a mad look in his eyes like safety behind a guitar, like all of sudden I’m superhuman behind this animal machine (that’s how Mick’d describe it).

The band rip into their songs and are exceptionally brilliant and talented, the drummer all over the place with jazz beats here and there and the three guitarists mixing up all sorts of snippets of styles into short bursts of everything, they remind me of Ruins and Naked City (w/o sax). I talk to Mark, their bass player after and get his phone number to ring him to get a tape of the band, they’ve only been together for six months which seems incredible to me considering how complicated their songs were and how well they played them.

Mark tells me that Phlegm’s drummer has pneumonia so they’ll be playing an improvised set tonight and their guitarist sets up and starts twisting strange noise out of his cut off instrument and his colleague gets on the mic and starts gibbering in a Trumans Water manner and ocassionally picking up the bass and messing around with it. It’s a beautiful cacophony of screeching hell that seems odd in this place but unimaginable anywhere else.

I leave at about half midnight hoping to catch a late train, but missing it I opt to navigate my way back to Libby’s on foot, which I manage quite successfully despite my four beer drunkeness! Broni lets me in and we crash out immediately – to be awoken by little Reg and Gough, running round in the kitchen at some ungodly hour and Libby and Dougie running around after them, we manage to stay in bed for another hour or so before having to play with the kids, we’re both knackered out and running on reserves but manage to keep going the whole day while Libby and Dougie go off to a wedding of a friend and later come back drunk with Christine and Andrew in tow and then launching into more beer and cocktails and smoke for those inclined.

Drunk again we make our way home back, even before sunset, we waste the rest of the evening with TV and pizza and a bath we nearly fall asleep in, ah sweet life.

And Sunday I notice that things here are seeming more normal like I remember the first day here I walked into Hurstville with Broni and I was agog looking at everything, all new and unreal and doing that same walk on Sunday seemed so normal and satisfying, now feeling safer in this place.

I later ring my mum and she asks if I feel I’ve made the right decision and I say despite any bad times I have here like missing people I have undoubtedly made the right choice, I can’t imagine how sad I would feel if I hadn’t taken this opportunity to further myself. Ok, brave soldiers.

25th Mar 2021 – Leaving that first show at the Annandale Hotel and discovering Phlegm and Farm of Tongues at the Vulcan Hotel was an auspicious event and would lead to lots of new friendships. I also distinctly remembering walking back to Libby’s house, walking through Hyde Park in the early hours and having a feeling of absolute safety – something that would have been impossible in England for me at that time. In England you always had to be aware of things going on around you – it felt like there was always someone looking for trouble. In a new country, it may just have been ignorance – either way, it was a feeling that has stayed with me until now.