Respun Visions – 18th August 2023

Today I experimented a little using AI. I took the five paragraphs individually in this post at Spinning Visions and asked AI to summarise each with a four-line poem:

A balcony that's hidden from the view
A door that's sealed with plaster and with lies
A neighbor who has seen what lies behind
A mind that's overgrown with ivy vines

They say our brains must prune the past
To make some room for what is new
But I don't want to lose the things
That made me who I am with you

I've closed so many doors inside
And left them in the dark
I've cut off ties that once were mine
And hid the broken parts

I saw him through the window pane
The one who broke my heart
I thought of all the words unsaid
And how we grew apart

I've left behind so many things
That once were part of me
But now they're hidden by the green
Of ivy's memory

I then asked AI to make these results more philosophical and ended up with this:

What is a balcony but a space
Between the inside and the out
A door that's closed can never face
The truth that lies beyond the doubt

What is a brain but a device
That stores and shapes our history
But when it prunes it pays a price
And loses parts of mystery

What is a heart but a vessel
That fills and spills with love and pain
A tie that binds or a trestle
That bridges gaps or breaks in twain

What is a memory but a shade
That fades and grows with time and light
A green that covers or a blade
That cuts and heals or stirs the night

Of course, I can’t really claim any credit for this beyond the fact that I took the time and effort to do it. I like Makenna’s writing at Spinning Visions and have found it quite inspiring to take her ideas and thoughts and consider them in my own contexts. This time I was just curious how AI would find summarising short texts into four-line poems.


Today I’m feeling:

Tired but positive, a little sleepy when I stop and sit. Need to keep moving. I pushed through two workouts again and feel good for that. After my first class is a four-hour break that I will hope to stay awake through. I don’t want to get caught sleeping at the cafe!

Kept myself going by getting right into some more lesson planning so ran out of time to even do much blog updating.

Today I’m grateful for:

The little plastic toe spacer that I hope will improve my sore big toe joint over time. I’ve tried a few different spacers but I find that they can get uncomfortable after an hour or so, even waking me from sleep. This one is smaller and simpler and just helps you keep the big toe straight in comparison with the second toe. It would be great if I could actually fix this painful foot that has bothered me on and off for most of my life. I’d also like to fix my hips which are out of balance and also contribute to the pain in my foot and other places such as knees, back and the hips themselves.

I can imagine a complete relief, like being pumped full of a relaxant but I think that will only come just before I die. A slow relief that completely overwhelms, until only your body is all that is left and you cease to exist.

The best thing about today was:

Listening to Nicha and Namkhing improve their reading skills, as I had been personally encouraging them last year with one-on-one lessons and whereas then, they struggled with even just two-letter words now they are able to make attempts at four-, five- and six-letter words. They still often fail but the fact that they are trying fills with happiness. I made sure they knew how happy I was too.

Something I learned today?

I rediscovered a website with some English lesson plans, quizzes and games and it inspired me to put together new lessons. Once I get into it I can imagine the work unfolding in the classroom, who will struggle and who will do well, deciding whether to push harder or pull back. Not every time is a hit and some days that happens can be frustrating for the students who then make it frustrating for me. I think I mixed things up well this week and kept my students occupied, learning (if they wanted to) and happy.

Where am I headed?

I’m just heading along. I feel like I’ve spent my life headed to here, where I am. I don’t have any other place I particularly need to be.

This could change in the future as I’m guessing at some point we will head back to Australia again. I don’t need to be thinking about that right now though.

What worries me the most currently?

I don’t tend to worry much about anything. Even things that might cause worry such as Amy being able to settle back here again, doesn’t really worry me that much. Whatever path life goes down I’m still on the path.

I took this picture because finally, something stood out to me that begged a photo to be taken. The sky was a little brighter today which seemed to open my eyes more to what is around.

With Open Arms – 6th July 2023

The immigrant children complain of immigration
They think they own the land
Never taught their history, or easily forgotten
They offer no helping hand

The suburbs are full of lawnmowers and cars
This happy life must not be disturbed
New arrivals collect glasses in the downtown bars
Where lines of demarcation become blurred

A drink to our new friends here to find a way
To live a long-forgotten dream once told
To all who struggled in an effort to stay
To seek the world their movies sold

20th Nov 2024 – Shared with Word of the Day Challenge – downtown


Today I’m feeling:

I had to talk myself into exercising this morning but I pushed through with my mini ab workout. I’m glad I did because it got me awake and settled into a reasonable mood. I know I’m tired but also not craving rest. My left eye is aching still and whilst meditating this morning wondered if I’d had a stroke. I looked in the mirror and there were no obvious changes to my face. I should perhaps go to the local optometrist and get them to have a closer look inside.

Today I’m grateful for:

Our crazy school schedule that means I only have one class tomorrow afternoon at 2.30 so I’ve made the decision to sleep in and not sign in tomorrow and head to school around 1.30. Great!

The best thing about today was:

Watching some reluctant students stand up and speak in English and overcome some of their fears and hesitations. I made sure to commend them after class to lift their confidence further.

Before my last class of the day, I was playing volleyball and saw some of my students heading to class that included the three ‘bad’ boys, including the porn kid from yesterday. I roped them in to come and play and we bonded a little further. Enough so that we had a comfortable lesson without incident. I was happy with that result.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Things are humming along smoothly as of now.

Something I learned today?

Some folks in the West are railing against the Taliban because they have once again made opium production illegal and reduced it by 80% just as they did before the US invaded twenty years ago, when they made it legal again. Somehow drug production is okay in other countries but not in their own. The West is doomsaying all the negative outcomes that will arise from a country’s government implementing their own law. Hmmm… Hypocritical much?

How am I different than I was a year ago?

Differences year to year feel more slight than in my youth. If there’s anything that I can really feel it’s just a general improvement in well-being and contentment. My health has also improved though I can also feel my age as more time passes.

I took this picture because this simple little plant is growing in the parking space at the back of House and as I was walking by the sunlight was hitting at an angle that made the leaf shapes jump out at me.

Total Victory – 18th March 2023

Nothing but total victory will suffice
Is at the heart of democratic advice
Diplomacy is an admission of defeat
Propaganda must make victory complete

Cutting off the head is seen to win
The hearts and minds of those within
Here we go again, history repeated
Total victory has been totally defeated


Today I’m feeling:

Woke up tired after not sleeping until about 1 am as I’d been busy setting up my computer again. Feeling right after coffees!

Today I’m grateful for:

All the people in the world who make it possible for me to get my computer running the way I want. It often involves a little bit of fiddling around to get dodgy bits and pieces of software going but once it’s done I forget about it until the next time I have to rebuild my computer.

The best thing about today was:

I took Cap back to the vet to check his blood and got the all-clear which was good news. Cap talked all the way there and back and was relieved once home again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy was upset over something that happened with one of her friends and even though I thought I was saying the right thing it wasn’t what she wanted to hear so she hung up the call. Unfortunately, her upset transferred to me and I just felt grumpy after that so I took an afternoon nap which was enjoyable at least.

I still feel a little uninspired and bored after that though. I didn’t feel like playing guitar which I had been looking forward to in the morning. I ended up just playing Xbox for a while and even that felt like a struggle.

Something I learned today?

I learned how to play Dishonored 2 on Xbox. I enjoyed the first game and this one looks good too but my head is just not in the right space at the moment for time wasting like this. That could change in a couple of days though.

What are a few of my favourite wise quotes?

Check out any entries from last year. One every day.

I took this picture because these plants are getting their new leaves. Even the one that looked totally dead has hung on for another year.

Tall Poppy – 10th December 2022

At first, we like a winner
Until boots are filled too high
The smell of musk becomes too much
And needs to be demoted to ordinary guy


Nothing really belongs to us but time, which even he has who has nothing else.

Baltasar Gracián

Today I’m feeling:
Lethargic
Today I’m grateful for:
Samuel Beckett (again). I watched about half of Endgame with Michael Gambon and though was enjoying it very much it just made me think that reading it would be a better experience. Its absurdity is very English and reminds me of Vivian Stanshall, Gormenghast and Cacophony-era Rudimentary Peni. Philosophically dark and disturbed, tinged with my favourite laughless humour. I’m grateful to be English!
The best thing about today was:
Reading Anton Chekhov’s short story called A Happy Man. A simple text with a very obvious ending but the set-up was nice and satisfying. I think I felt comfortable knowing what was going to happen and enjoying the happiness of the happy man in question. It’s a reminder for us to be happy in our times of distress and discomfort.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I woke up tired and though could have spent the day productively resigned myself to a three-hour afternoon nap. It was a nice day to have been doing something but I found myself absorbed in nice dreams. I wondered if it was possible to just keep dreaming after you die.
Something I learned today?
I learned about a friend and their story (though told to me second-hand) and can empathise with their behaviours which I dislike. They are in a situation which is a little similar to one I have experienced a couple of times in the past and was difficult for me to deal with but I know now how to avoid arriving there. It’s not really my place to offer advice though I will try to help by perhaps directing their thoughts to other things instead. Distraction can be a good use of time as things may sort themselves out without any action necessary.
What’s the weather like?
This rather dull small talk topic I mention often when writing perhaps because it is still curious to me. Growing up in England the weather was strangely important, maybe it is everywhere. I’m nostalgic for the extremes of English days as they would bring excitement to the mostly dreary bitter days. Now I’m living in opposite-land though more often comfortable at a lack of having to consider what clothes to wear. This morning though I was slightly bleary-eyed, sitting in the sunrise and considering how perfect this day was. I felt awesome.

I took this picture because sometimes the things I plant are out of control. I like this tree at the front, I’ve never seen anything like it and have no idea what it is. Its branches grow in weird directions and its flowers are bright red. Amy wants to cut it back but I’m interested to just let it be and seeing how it develops. I know we’ll probably have to cut it down completely at some point if we build more. Behind are the trees Amy’s mum planted before we built anything, now tall and wide and the tallest is now completely overwhelmed by a climbing plant that has a smallish beginning down by the entertainment area. Again, I’ve let it go wild and enjoy the excellent shade it gives and the gorgeous fat buzzing bees its flowers bring but there’s a chance it will stop the tree from getting enough sun. I figure I will cut it soon though it will undoubtedly make a return.

Turn It Around – 26th July 2022

Struggling flowers reaching up high
Searching for light in the grey sky
Meekly accepting and no question why
Quiet as a mouse skittering away
Always saying something yet nothing to say
Hard to get and refusing to play
A uniform mask and a poker face
Friendless in this friendly place
Self-excluded from any competitive race
One day to shine, to rise up high
Their blinding light will pierce the sky
Leaving everyone else to wonder why


A tragedy, when a mature mind and a romantic heart are in the same body.

Nizar Qabbani

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the little plants Bruno gave me to see if I can use them to grow a border along our path.

Slave Driven – 26th May 2022

Having walked through shadow and light
Seeing the slaves in misery and distress
Even those with strength and faith
Struggle to make sense of this mess

The apprentice, artisan and employer
The soldier, governor and king
All enslaved with submission
Of another’s tune to sing

Chained to the parent’s past
Urged to yield oneself to tradition
Words create empty echoes
When failed to express contrition

29th Oct 2024 – Shared with Word of the Day Challenge – faith


Certain types of persons are terrified even to poke a big toe into genuinely felt regret or sadness, or to get angry. This means they are afraid to live.

from The Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful I’ve managed to keep most of Amy’s indoor plants alive so far.

So much for blue skies, what about the future? – 24th March 2021

Woke up today with huge indecision about the future. Last night Amy and I discussed what we might do in the future and whether we are happy where we are at this time.

Amy’s reverse culture shock has been getting her down a lot and she is itching to go back to Australia – whether just to visit or to make more long term plans. She says once her parents have passed that she has no compulsion to stay in Thailand.

Combined with news that our school’s budget has been cut and we will have to teach more classes, containing more students, it’s a somewhat depressing look ahead. I would be happy not to work at all. I can ‘be’ in any place or country and the advantage for me here is that I don’t necessarily have to work, whereas in Australia it would be a must just to survive.

The current plan is that Amy goes to Australia for 3 to 6 months once there are less travel restrictions and I carry on teaching (or perhaps stop – to be considered) and then when Amy returns we start doing some sort of business on our land and see how that goes. If that keeps us both happy, then we stay and if not then maybe we have to decide to pack up and think about our options in Australia.

I started this post with these pictures of the summer garden taken a couple of weeks ago, but bigger thoughts have taken over. Let’s see how our garden grows.

Our mulberries have gone mental this year – everyday I can pick a new bowlful.
These tall branches reaching into the sky now have so much fruit that they are bending to touch the ground. I don’t know if this needs to be cut to grow differently or if it’s best to just leave it the way it is.
This Jacaranda currently has more flowers than leaves. Our four Jacarandas all seem to flower at random times throughout the year. I just hope that they can live and survive a lot longer and grow as big as the ones in Australia. Love these trees.
This is a weird bush, plant, tree (?) that reminds me of fractal theory – it looks like each ‘branch’ separates off into two and on and on.

24th Mar 2023 – The plan I discuss above is still in progress. Amy will have been in Australia on and off for almost two years by the end of this year and will come back then and again consider doing some business on our land. Things are a little more normalised after the 2 or 3 years of pandemic restrictions. The mulberries are going crazy again this year too. I wish the sky were as blue today as it is in these pictures. Today’s AQI is 224 (Very unhealthy).

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for our wheelbarrow. Yesterday I used it to move a whole heap of rocks to the other side of the garden. Without my wheelbarrow, this would’ve been a real pain. I’m also grateful for our big shovel too. this helped me get all the rocks into the barrow. They are both bright orange – like lots of garden equipment here in Thailand.


The best thing about today was getting a gift from Am and Tee. It’s just a mug but I liked Am’s explanation for choosing it.

I taught Maeve online again tonight and that was really a pleasure – she’s a bright and enthusiastic learner so time went quickly.

I tried to practice guitar after that but somehow my fingers and brain aren’t quite connecting. That happens sometimes. If it’s not coming together after ten minutes, put it down and try again tomorrow.

We got that attitude! – 26th July 2020

I am so happy and grateful for all the lovely plants we have growing in our house. Plants help make a house into a home and I feel like this is home.

To-do list

  • Awards awards awards ½
  • Push yourself to workout on weekends
  • Compliment everything
  • A random act of kindness
  • Draw something again in the next few days

Well, that was not very successful with this list. After a picnic and party with George, Bee and Dylan (and Amy, of course) on Monday, I was too hungover on Tuesday to do anything that required much thinking. So I’m back on it today (Wednesday).

I realise how much drinking takes it out of me – interrupts my plans. It’s fun to be drunk sometimes but I’m finding it worth less and less. I prefer the happy high of life and living. I’m still pushing myself but finding myself more focused now.

I spent a good 6-8 months reading and researching many different ideas about thinking and being. I’ve trimmed this down a lot now – having understood much of the content and advice. Now I’m doing less thinking about thinking and slowly turning this into action and habit. Still working towards a better life for myself.