Justin Time – 31st July 2024

He just, just, just couldn’t get it together
Metaphor not needed, no ray of sunshine
Petering out, always under the weather
He’ll be here when he’s ready, he’s Justin Time

Jimmy the door so that us fools can rush in
Do not harry him, his heart is so sublime
So mark my words, when he’s ready to begin
He’ll be here when he’s ready, he’s Justin Time

Submitted to the AllPoetry’s Expressing Yourself course; write a two-stanza poem using metaphor and Poets and Storytellers United Friday Writings #137: At the Last Minute. Inspired by an old school friend called Justin who inevitably got called Justin Time whenever he was late for something. An added bonus of a boy’s name used in each line too.


Today I’m feeling:

Sleepy with sore eyes.  Slept badly, with Tigger waking everyone up at 3 am for some unknown reason, perhaps complaining about the rain.  Reset my alarm to get an extra 30 minutes of rest and skipped exercise.

It’s another grey day to dull my aching eyes and even the kids are less enthusiastic today, amplifying the dark, depressing atmosphere.  Though kids will no doubt not be able to help themselves from being kids.  Will the adults, this adult, be able to be an adult today?

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Spain carrying half of the workbooks for me up to the classroom this afternoon.

The best thing about today was:

Doing a little catching up with my four free hours. I got another lesson finished plus more ideas along with some reading and writing. No one thing particularly outstanding today.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Nong Praew came over to me to help her in the morning class and I guided her to the correct answers. Weirdly, I can feel my Thai improving as I’ve been helping her as she generally only speaks Thai to me unless I ask her to read.

As I was helping her, we used her phone to look up things and I noticed that she had been searching for ‘die, dead, death’ in Google, which she quickly tried to hide. She brushed it off when I asked her about it. She had also told me that she forgot to take her meds in the morning.

Anyway, after she had finished the classwork, she wanted to play but ended up annoying me enough that I left to the cafe to keep working.

In the afternoon class, she was a little concerned that she couldn’t charge her phone and would run out of battery before being able to call her mom to pick her up.

Without being able to charge her phone, a few minutes later, she became teary and I tried to calm her. I looked at her phone and she still had 8% battery left so it didn’t seem like a big deal. In her fragile state though, she couldn’t see it like that.

We did a difficult spelling test and she got deeply involved in that and then I finished up the class and she disappeared quickly.

I messaged her later about why she reacted so strongly to not having her phone charged and she said that she had to walk home. She only lives a couple of blocks from school but it was raining a little.  

I wasn’t sure whether to believe this but Kru Jern had mentioned to me that her parents indulge her in everything. In this context, her behaviour makes more sense.

Whilst I will indulge her in learning, I’ll make sure that she knows where are the boundaries.

Something I learned today?

Israel has managed to fire rockets and kill targets in other countries with remarkable precision yet somehow cannot do the same in Gaza, bombing the shit out of everything and anyone. 

This clearly shows their intentions. Things are starting to kick off and I can’t see it de-escalating soon.

Sunset Over Hawaii – 26th June 2024

This
Island
Under night
Skies a-blazing
Rows and rows of homes
Turning to ash and dust
Maui, Hawaii – on fire
No rescue until it’s too late
There’s money to be made rebuilding
This island under night skies a-blazing

Destruction and death
Build back better, U.S.A.
Casino waiting

A Dectina Refrain submitted to Living Poetry Monday Poetry Prompt


AllPoetry homework:

The Country of the Blind. – Stanzas 1 and 4 by C.S. Lewis

Hard light bathed them and a
whole nation of eyeless men
dark bi-pedals, not aware
of how they were maimed
A long process, clearly a slow curse
drained through centuries
Left them thus

If a man, one that had eyes
a poor misfit, spoke of
the grey dawn, or the stars
or green sloped sea waves
Or admired how warm tints
changed in a lady’s cheek
None complained he had used
words from an alien tongue
None questioned.
It was worse. All would agree
“Of course.” Came their answer
“We’ve all felt like that.”
They were wrong.

………………
1. What is Lewis saying?
2. Here he compares the poet to the masses who believe they have experienced the same feelings. Why does Lewis say they are wrong? Look at the first stanza.

3. What are your feelings in comparing the poem to society, today?

This has taken me a while to get to as I prefer to spend my time writing over analysing. Slowly I am starting to appreciate analysis though so as to better understand what a poet might be saying.

So, today I finally came back to this and interestingly I read this quote this morning which seems along similar lines:

That showed me in an instant that not by wisdom do poets write poetry, but by a sort of genius and inspiration; they are like diviners or soothsayers who also say many fine things, but do not understand the meaning of them.

– Socrates, The Apology


To attempt to answer the questions….
2. Lewis says that they are wrong because society as a whole blindly accepts what it may be told. (Does this connect with the phrase ‘the one-eyed man is the king of the blind?).
3. In comparing the poem to society, I can see the parallels but as a poet, I prefer to consider myself with the man with eyes. But then, maybe individually, we all do that. And thus we end up with society. Individually thinking and believing different things and collectively believing the same things.

And I think that answers question 1.


Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again. I forgot to write anything this morning as instead of spending the first six hours of the day at the cafe I decided to sit with my old class and help some of them with their work though I also took advantage of this time to make some future lessons.

Sitting in that class made me look at the kids a little differently. I could see that they were more attentive to the Thai teacher and understood more (obviously).  They still struggled when it came to answering questions and their comprehension but it made me feel a little more sympathetic with them.

The work Kru NumNim has been giving them is from the British Council and I decided to take it and reuse it for my reading classes with them.  I’m hoping that they at least remember some of it and can draw on their learning in this class when it comes to doing it again in mine.

At House, I sat, read and wrote as usual and now felt that 4 hours was an ok amount of time to spend doing that, instead of the six hours of the previous couple of weeks.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the folks who ensured that my records arrived safely from Hong Kong.

The best thing about today was:

Everything again.  It was consistently good from morning alarm, exercise, breakfast and driving to school to getting home, sitting back and watching videos.  

I’m also feeling a little relief at having fewer hours to teach tomorrow than before too as another two hours got passed on to another teacher.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The parcel of Bennu The Heron records arrived yesterday but I had to go and pick them up from the main post office and pay 700 baht tax on them which is just about the end of my money for the month.

Still, it was better than paying what Amy originally thought was 4000 baht.  If it had been that much then I would have sent them back.

Something I learned today?

I found Yurin sitting by herself today and she looked up at me sadly and said ‘No friends’.  I talked with her for a little while and she said that she was quarrelling with Dena and Earn though I’m not sure about what.  I told her not to worry and maybe it will all blow over.

Later I caught up with Dena and she said that Yurin was always causing drama and everyone was sick of it.  Actually, I’m not surprised at this as Yurin was always causing problems in the first semester of grade 7 when she was hanging out with Hyper, who eventually got taken out of school by her parents.  Somewhere inside, Yurin has some conscience, though sadly, I don’t think the future holds much positive for her.

Praew told me that she won’t be in school tomorrow as she has to go to hospital and when I asked her why, she explained that she has to get new medicine for depression.

I asked her how she felt after taking the medicine and she said that she felt better but it also made her more anxious.  I noticed before that she has shaky hands.  She’s a bright and funny girl and I wouldn’t have guessed that she was taking medicine for depression.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I told Praew that she could talk to me anytime if she wanted.

For the last couple of days, I’ve been trying to encourage Baipad to do something kind for her friends.  Yesterday she offered up that she lent her lip balm to her friend.

But then I asked her to do something intentionally kind today and she was stuck.

When I saw her in the morning she and all her friends were all just sitting playing games on their phones, with barely any interaction between them.

She told me that she will go to Chiang Mai tomorrow so I reminded her that she could buy a nice gift for a friend or something like that.  Let’s see if she does!

I took this picture because Jin demanded it. Ueang and Jin, busy avoiding study.

Nobody Knows – 11th March 2024

“Why does Spring once again offer its green clothes?”*
A break from the darkness, sprung from where nobody knows

Clinging to warmth on those dark winter nights
Hiding under covers as daylight dallies. Nobody knows

where the world is heading, these paths to be unmuddied
Always turning, the coming and going. Nobody knows

when the lights will turn off, green concedes to the dark again
Again, again – why the black dog barks, nobody knows

These clouds shower down a ridiculous rain
As I long for the green, now gone where nobody knows

*From Pablo Neruda’s ‘Book of Questions’
Shared with dVerse Meeting The Bar, a ghazal somewhat meeting the criteria!
31st Jul 2024 – Submitted to Moonwashed Weekly Prompt


Today I’m feeling:

Pretty bright and positive.  

My lower back is sore from sitting in the cinema for three hours and this morning a bit of tooth, or porcelain (I don’t know what is mine anymore) broke off whilst eating yoghurt and has left it very sensitive.  

I have an appointment on Thursday anyway so hopefully I can hold on until then.

Today I’m grateful for:

The positive feedback that I’m getting on some of my poetry.  I’m also grateful to have found many prompt pages and ideas around poetry forms which I’m enjoying trying out.

The best thing about today was:

Watching a group of various students, some of whom I knew, bonding together as there are few students around this week.  They were bonding by playing truth or dare and a drinking game, though with an assortment of soft drinks, of course.

Still, it is obvious to me where that idea will lead.  What can I say, that’s what we all did at that age.  You live and learn, hopefully without anything untoward happening.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It was a little annoying that all my first class turned up in the classroom this morning which meant I had to stay around for a while and babysit them, though I took time to visit the other classrooms too.  

All of them were lazily playing on their phones or making up their own ideas of fun.  

I managed to get out about 30 minutes early at least.

Something I learned today?

Britain mocked France and Egypt when they were building the Suez Canal until they realised what a benefit it was for them to be able to get to India two months quicker than previously, in case there was another uprising there.

When Egypt soon came unstuck and wanted to sell its share in the canal, Britain eagerly snapped it up.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I offered some emotional support to Praew who has become slightly isolated in her class recently. 

Also to Kwang who told me that her mum, who is in Bangkok somewhere, has blocked her phone calls.  I don’t think there is any animosity in it but it must suck to know that your mum is too occupied with other things to take your calls.

I took the motorbike for a little ride, sticking in some petrol and charging up the battery a little for Amy as she wanted to go to the market tonight but hasn’t been able to use the bike since it needing to be kick-started on its back stand. She’s too little to pull the bike up onto it though I reckon she could if she really needed to.

What is one thing I want to learn more about?

I’m watching a video about RipX DAW and reminded that I still need to learn more about using a DAW, particularly the one I already paid for (Ableton Live – which has been so long since I tried it that I had to look up what it was called!) and bought a midi keyboard to use with it.  

I’m really interested to do it but can see that it involves a lot of time investment that I don’t really have enough of at the moment.

Sarah took this picture of Ozone because she stole my phone out of my pocket as Praewa dragged me off to dance on the other side of the room. As she filled up my phone with pictures I only found three worth saving at the end of the day.

Little Shi – 9th January 2024

Little Shi was making his own plans
Putting his destiny in his own hands
From the fields to the city streets
Amongst the learned he competes

In the trees, he’d monkey around
Exploring the minutiae of life he found
Every little step that he was taking
Expanded the world he was making

And while those around studied well
They learned little that he could tell
He found a different meaning to success
Found his own way to progress

The things his father had been denied
Would not stop this little dragon’s rise
As the littlest kid he stood above
Remaining humble and sharing love

Until to the mountain, he climbed alone
All the horizons became his home

Inspired by a true story in Zachary Mexico’s China Underground
16th Nov 2024 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United


Today I’m feeling:

Happy and positive though starting to flake a little now it’s lunchtime.  My first class was a little chaotic and frustrating but hopefully the afternoon classes will be more uplifting.

Today I’m grateful for:

Having a bag of candy again that I can gift to random students when I feel like it.  Am I the Candyman?  A little bribery goes a long way.

The best thing about today was:

Being able to control myself when pushed to the edge of my patience several times. 

It helps that I like the kids so much and they make me laugh a lot but sometimes I wish I was just teaching the more mature students.  Sometimes I feel embarrassed for myself, wondering what other teachers might think if they came into the classroom when children are noisy and not paying attention.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I wanted to go to the hospital on the way back home but the traffic was busy and getting out of the hospital with a car now is a pain in the ass since the U-turn has been closed off because everyone was using it to skip the traffic lights.  I was too tired to bother coming back out on the motorbike so will try again tomorrow when I can leave school a little earlier and hopefully, there’s a little less traffic.

Something I learned today?

Jerry Lewis made a controversial film called The Day The Clown Cried in 1972 and it was never released and has been hidden away ever since. 

A couple of years before he died he agreed that it could be released but only after he and those that were critical of the ideas in the movie had probably died too.  So then it was decided to be released in June 2024.  The movie’s story sounds interesting and thought-provoking.  I wonder what it will be like.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

As my grade 8 students were reading the text I gave them I let them try to pronounce the difficult words and gave them positive feedback when they got them right.

I followed up with Paen that she was feeling ok as I didn’t see her on Friday and she didn’t reply to my messages since then.  She said she was sick but I’m not sure if something happened with Praew that has upset her.

I was going to punish Program for being late to class without communicating with me but I decided to show him that that was my intention, but this time I will not punish him though he must remember to let me know why he is going to be late. 

Remember that this is the kid who ended up sitting in my class before doing nothing because he had picked up another student’s bag and lost his own…. I have since noticed that despite his clownish behaviour he is pretty good at English.

Tonaor randomly messaged me for advice about a logo design for her online store, which is the first I’d heard of it but I’m not too surprised. 

Kids of 13 or 14 are getting smart about making money using the internet these days.  I was happily surprised that she asked me for advice though.

This was not in my class but I took this picture as an example of a typical classroom lesson environment. To be fair, everyone had finished their work but there was no sitting quietly reading a book until the bell goes. These are my old grade 7 and 8 students, now in grade 9. There’s Phoom, Chok, Jackie and… fuck, I’ve forgotten the other boy’s name though I can picture his face quite clearly.