Tag: Premier

Haunted By The Living – 27th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

She’s forever standing next to me
Begging me with bitter sad smiles
Everywhere I turn, the memory
Kept as treasure in my mind’s files

She’s out there still, ten thousand miles away
Taunting me with her continued silence
I only wish that there was something to say
To return her back to this lonely island

Some parade photos. Students and teachers had been at school all night preparing costumes and make-up. What a palaver, my mum would say.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good and looking forward to the sports day event so that when I got to school I surveyed the parade for all my students, many of whom were difficult to spot as they were dressed up so fancily that I couldn’t recognise them at all! 

I slept badly because of my aching shoulder and woke many times laying on my back and when Amy didn’t stir after I exercised I shook her foot and she complained of lack of sleep too due to my snoring.  It’s possible the exercises I’m doing are aggravating my shoulder too much and it is not recovering from whatever stress or strain that I have given it.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kwang, Premier and Program again.  I spotted them in the parade and they grabbed me and insisted I walk with them which I did for a little while.  As Premier and Program let go, Kwang still held on and out of the blue said quietly ‘I miss my dad.’ Sigh.

The best thing about today was:

The feeling of excitement and happiness in the whole school celebrating sports day.  In the past, I’ve usually left after an hour or so and gone home but this time, with an hour and a half break at House I stayed until around 2.15pm. 

I was on my way to leave at around midday but got sucked back into staying and ended up trying to find Funfai whilst other students dragged me around to watch all the team’s cheerleader routines, partly because I had an umbrella they could shelter under.

Something I learned today?

Listening to the You Don’t Know Mojack podcast today, they were interviewing Chris Shary who is an artist that works with The Descendents and All.  What was interesting was how he was a high schooler in Ipswich, UK and hung around with the Stupids, even singing with them near the end of their run.  Pretty much useless information but of a little interest to me in discovering more about how everything is interconnected in our little weird music world.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Congratulating everyone who had dressed up for the day.  Encouraging others to cheer and do their best in their competitions. Commiserating with the few who were bored or cold whilst waiting for things to get going.

What was the biggest risk I took this year?

Lending $1600 to Ad Interim so that they could get their album made.  I only knew Max through acquaintance but I liked the band’s music and made the deal for repayment within 12 months and he was good enough to get it paid off within three or four months.  I’m happy to work with people like this.  I can’t offer a lot when it comes to marketing and distribution but can at least support artists with funds for production.

Do you think that most people are doing the best they can?

I borrowed this question from The Red Hand Files where Nick Cave simply replied with the answer ‘No’ which surprised me a little and made me consider why he replied that way.

Even though it seems that there is only tragedy in the world and so many bad people acting in bad ways when I look around my own personal environment I believe most people are doing the best they can.

We can all do better, and all try harder, I guess (maybe that is why Nick Cave answered no to the question) but here, for many people, they are still struggling to get by.

Maybe it’s the difference between living in a first-world country and a third-world one.  Maybe in a first-world one, we expect more of each other and in the third-world folks are doing the best they can in the circumstances.

Bebe took this picture because she grabbed my phone and I just let her take as many pictures as she wanted. I like this one the best because Baibua has a big smile which she doesn’t usually show for me. Namfon, in the middle, has become a favourite student of mine because although we both know she may never be good at English she will now try her best and that is the main lesson to learn. Bebe is on a similar trajectory but still gets very distracted in class, though usually in a way that cracks me up. It’s hard to assert authority when you are laughing so much yourself.

The Feral – 26th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Raised in the manner of wolves
Howling at the moon
Running wild in the company of fools
Wide-eyed in chaotic tune

Tamed and reformed by riches
The devil still pulls at the heart
All are affected by witches
The feral rips itself apart

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good from exercise but still not particularly enthusiastic.  Perhaps due to this month’s struggle with money and its limit on what I’m able to do.

(Later) Things did improve as I spent time at House and then back at school wandering around talking to students everywhere.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru Ning who seemed happy enough for me to help assist some of the students in her class – my grade 7 kids.  It’s sometimes fun to join another class without there being any pressure and just offer assistance.

The best thing about today was:

Kwang (and Premier and Program) took my arms and led me around the school whilst chattering away with me, so I feel happy that Kwang is comfortable with me again after her episode last week.  I’d really like to talk more deeply with her and get to how she really feels about things.  She’s still covering things up with bravado at the moment, which is not unusual for kids at this age.

Something I learned today?

I watched Alexei Sayle’s Christmas message where, as a Jew, he supports the Palestinians and calls out the Zionists in Israel as absolute liars. Much of the world is in agreement with his sentiment.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

My students were happy that I cancelled all my classes today.  It was possible that we could still have them but they would be distracted and unfocused with many not even bothering to show up.  I feel slightly guilty though!  Though not guilty enough not to be sitting in the cafe writing this right now!  I will go back to school soon though and play with my students and hang around for an hour or three.

What was the best new thing I tried this year?

Best new thing? I’m not sure I tried any new thing!

Maybe I started using the DuoCards app this year which has been pretty helpful with my language learning.

Fuck, that’s not very exciting, is it!

If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

As I’m already past the age of 30 and I can remember what my body was like then perhaps having that body would not be for the best.  I was still skinny at thirty, the beer belly came on over the following ten years.  As to my mind at thirty, I was still on my way at that point.  I still had peaks and troughs that overly affected me.

If we could rephrase the question to be 60 instead of 30 then perhaps I would choose my body now, despite it being older and slower it feels like it has improved and is fitter than before.  My mind is also in a better place….  Damn, this is a difficult choice.  The two are inextricably linked – healthy body, healthy mind….  I think I will go with maintaining the body. 

I’m thinking this because of seeing Grandmum now whose body is almost given up and unable to speak but I can’t help thinking that inside her mind is still sharp and that must be so frustrating.

I took this picture because Nicha wanted a selfie. When I showed her later she said she looked like a pig. At least I hope she was talking about herself.