Lives filled with mediocrity There’s a half-hearted yes Missed golden opportunities Because mediocre is no stress Anything that needs doing Must be done all the way And if it doesn’t feel right Then saying no is ok
Today I’m feeling:
There’s tension building in my body. Had no real problem getting up at 6.30 this morning as I prepare for battle. Slowly I will build up the discipline to fight the days again.
Today I’m grateful for:
A video call from a chatty Amy this morning as I was sipping coffee at Utopia. Amy looked cute and cuddly and I really enjoyed her enthusiasm for life. I miss her being here a lot. I’m quite happy by myself but sometimes I need her to pick me up.
The best thing about today was:
Finishing the Michael Parkinson biography and the Netflix TV series Money Heist. I enjoy the feeling of finishing something knowing that I can move on to something new. Tomorrow it will be getting back into the swing of working again and starting that whole schedule again. I already have the next book lined up, Sapiens but not sure what TV I might get into. I might not for a while as I enjoy reading more.
I also got the music playing all day again in the kitchen, something which I hadn’t been doing since Kim left at the start of this holiday. This holiday hasn’t been very enjoyable at all unfortunately though perhaps it was fortunate that Kim didn’t go in the middle of the semester. I wonder if I would’ve handled it better or not?
Soon Amy will be back here and we will change all our room arrangements again. I’ll accommodate what she needs to feel comfortable again and also enjoy the changes.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When I talked to Amy this morning she asked if I had talked to anyone about getting the aircon fixed yet and I told her that I would go to the shop tomorrow and talk with them as it would be easier than on the phone. (Strangely it seemed to be working ok again last night though not quite 100%) About ten minutes later she called me back and said that she’d talked to her mum and that her mum had someone who could come and fix it for cheaper. Cool beans. I asked if that would be today and she said probably not. That was ok, whenever. Another ten minutes later she called again and said the guy wouldn’t be able to come for another two weeks so better if I just go to the shop! If you sit and wait long enough in Thailand everything twists and turns until it just ends up as it was. No stress (anymore!). I’m pretty sure that when I go to the shop they won’t be able to come quickly either as everyone’s aircon will be breaking at this time to overuse.
Something I learned today?
I saw that protesters in the UK were arrested without having committed a crime. This was due to it being King Charles’s coronation on Saturday. I think the same would happen in Thailand too.
How have I been holding myself back?
I’ve been holding myself back somewhat due to Amy not being here. As I’m here taking care of the cats I haven’t been able to go to places that I might’ve liked to, like Malaysia, again. It’s the situation holding me back as opposed to any internal thought processes keeping me down. I make the best of the situation as it is. Having said that, if I felt strongly enough I could have arranged for the cats to be taken care of and gone off for a time too.
I’ve been thinking about how much the pandemic fucked up things. I’d only been in Thailand a short while really and was still finding my feet. I was excited to go on tour around South East Asia now that I was living here, establish contacts to repeat the process every year and then it all got cancelled and with Kimi’s passing around the start of the pandemic it really took the wind out of my sails. I don’t feel like I can get the enthusiasm back up to go through the organising process again and I feel out of the loop with what’s going on around the region. Maybe a suitable opportunity will come up that will kick me into action again though I’m not particularly looking for it right now.
I took this picture because I saw a million insects on one of the stems of this plant and when I touched it they all flew off and into a flying formation where they looked static. This is my attempt to photograph them though, of course, it didn’t work but I like the resulting picture anyway.
It’s just another Jarrow Crusade Ignored by those in power Backed by a whole class of people Whose life has gone sour The change will slowly come Too late for those affected The masses’ message manipulated Ignored and rejected The power is not with good people Whose members swell the ranks But held by the precious few Who own the guns and tanks As your protest heads down the street Always remember your way home Before that’s taken from you too And you’re left to seethe alone You’re either with us or against us Left conquered when divided Along the path of least resistance Your own future will be decided
Today I’m feeling:
A little more positive today. I’m liking that I can’t remember what day it is but that will all change soon.
Today I’m grateful for:
Electricity. After 4 hours without it last night I thought it wasn’t too bad but then realised I was still able to use my phone and iPad as they still had charge. If they had run out I don’t think I would’ve been so happy.
The best thing about today was:
Almost finishing the flashcard sorting. I could’ve finished it but as I find this kind of task enjoyable I want to stretch it out one more day. Next, I have to integrate their use into my lessons and hopefully, the students find them useful.
(I couldn’t resist and finished them off so now the island in the dining room is relatively clear again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
First thing this morning I stepped on Amy’s thin folding mattress on the floor and under my foot was wet. Argh! It felt like a full bladder of piss had been dispensed. I picked it up and hung it outside in the sun, having to also take the rug too as it had seeped through to that as well. Good morning!
Something I learned today?
In some street interviews, many young Chinese people assumed America has high-speed rail because it’s America so they must have it.
Write about a memorable experience from this past week.
The coming of the rain and the destructive storms. The rain was good, the destruction not.
I took this picture because this was the result of the storm last night. I threw some more breeze blocks up there and climbed up and tried to get the sheet back in place but that wasn’t possible. Even though it was only 10 am everything up on the roof was already burning hot. I was also nervous up there as there was a lot of flex in the frame in the middle of the roof. I did my best and placed the six blocks strategically but I think it still may not be enough if the wind really whips through again.
Past caring, passed caring Eyes popping, flashing lights Ecstasy takes you away Passing on future nights Save the world, someone Before there’s nothing left to save Stop the music, please Educate the rave
8th Sep 2024 – As the alternative to the alternative, punks turned into ravers and the passionate resistance to the ills of society was forgotten for the bliss of entertainment. I hated it.
1994ever 