We got that attitude! – 23rd February 2020

I am so happy and grateful that we have drinking water in our house. Not everyone has that.

A man gets an answer to his questions in accordance with his fitness to understand and his one preparation.

The Food Of Paradise

To-do list

  • Remind yourself again that you may die now
  • Record another TCRAH ½
  • Spend 15 minutes planning Bruce’s lesson ✅
  • Register for Payoneer ✅
  • WDS spreadsheet ½

It was an enjoyable morning playing basketball and chatting with Bruno. Not so negative and I can tell he really enjoys teaching his students.

Time ran away way too fast today and somehow I managed to squeeze a lot of things in though no time to meditate today. This next week and a half is going to be busy too but I feel quite positive about the way things are going.

School should be easy this week and I’m taking things quite easy now anyway. I’m expecting to be working a lot more next semester.

I’m struggling a little with what to write here as I haven’t been sitting and thinking about things so much today as I was so busy. I do feel happiness though.

Back on the thought train tomorrow.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #26 – 22nd February 2020

Music from Magma, Sir Millard Mulch, Big Grump, Chemicals Made From Dirt, Vulk, El Rass, Les Baxter, Converge, Pile, Djang San, Honeymoon Killers, Monkees, The Misunderstood, Half Man Half Biscuit, Bondage Fruit, Moving Targets, 2227.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and thankful to George and Bee to be good friends we have made in Chiang Rai.

Those who don’t pay attention to their own thoughts and know their own minds are bound to be unfulfilled in life.

Donald Robertson

To-do list

  • Contemplate your death ½
  • Upload and record TCRAH ✅
  • Enjoy teaching today (stay in the moment) ½
  • WDS spreadsheet
  • Card for Tian ✅

My belly was giving me trouble today due to the chilli and alcohol mix last night. Despite that, the day passed happily enough. I even managed to ‘meditate’ for 30 minutes. I put the word in quotes as I wasn’t fully able to calm my mind, though I did relax and feel better after it.

In the morning I was quite tense but I think it was the effect of the coffee. Usually, I’m ok but not this morning.

I struggled through making another TCRAH episode but I persevered and did it. I was quite happy with myself.

I did, at various times during the day, remind myself that I may die at any time and I felt a strange feeling in my chest that focused me back in the moment. However, it merely reminded me of all the many things I want to get sorted in my room and I soon started back on that.

Tomorrow I will go and play basketball with Bruno. I hope that it will give me an opportunity for discussion about our views on life and maybe offer each other advice on our lives. Bruno is an emotional Italian and can get overexcited about things. He reminds me of me sometimes.

Whilst hanging with George gives me a positive energy boost he can also be somewhat relentless. Bruno may be a little in the negative direction and it’s not the way I prefer to go. However, it will remind me that the world is about balance.

Your emotions make you a monster – 20th February 2020

I am so happy and grateful for the opportunity to apply to a new school today. I’m hopeful I can make a good impression

Within that head of yours is all the reason and intelligence you need. Make sure your mind is in charge, not your emotions.

Daily Stoic Journal

To-do list

  • Print out the InFocus lesson plan content ✅
  • Listen and take notes at the interview ✅
  • Better prepare for Bruce’s lesson (30 mins) ✅
  • Check stoicism units on FB ✅
  • Write a blog post

I felt pretty good going into today and even getting thrown an extra class suddenly didn’t bother me too much.

The morning flew by enjoyably enough and the interview at CRPAO went well and then chatted with George for a couple of hours so by the time I got home I was feeling pretty good.

I still occasionally think about Kimi and it almost brings a tear to my eye (even as I write this now) but I understand that there is nothing I can do about this. I can acknowledge the feeling and carry on.

Whilst my mind has been a bit less scattered these last two days I still feel a little less clear and focussed. I think the possibilities of a new workplace can help me refocus and brush out some cobwebs.

I really want to pursue the meditation practice more fully as I believe that could have the biggest benefit for me. My mind is always full of things – I’d like there to be a little less going on in there.

Tomorrow, I think I will be happy and positive and looking forward to the weekend – as busy as it might be.

Have you got 10p? – 19th February 2020

I am so happy and grateful to my aching feet. They suffer but are still going. My aching hips, just working. My dodgy knee, my crooked neck, my weak wrists. One day so these pains will be gone. So will I.

What decides whether a sum of money is good? The money is not going to tell you.

Epictetus, Discourses

To-do list

  • Finish Kru Noon’s card ½
  • Start picture for Tian
  • Start spreadsheet for WDS tour ✅
  • Listen to Donald Robertson lecture ½
  • Plan to take Amy to OK@Chiang Rai ✅

In a much more positive frame of mind today. The knowledge of no longer working in this school has taken the pressure off but it is making me wonder why I can’t just think like that all the time? I’m hoping that the move to a new school and position will give me the fresh approach I need. I tried to do that this semester and was only somewhat successful. Now I have a little more experience under my belt.

I will have a job interview tomorrow and hopefully, that will go well. I should take a notebook with me and make notes. I don’t think I’ll ask too many questions and will suggest some ideas I have based on some textbooks I found useful today too.

I chatted for about 20 minutes with Fred this morning and we discussed the failings of the schools in Thailand and our different methods of dealing with it. I am quite aware that my method is not the best way. I must learn the way that can keep me calm and happy and at the same time try to do my best for the students.

I’m giving myself another 12 months to see if I can turn things around for myself. I will try to do this by remembering how George deals with things and consciously putting them into practice. I feel like some of the pieces of the puzzle are coming together today. I feel strong enough to be able to deal with things. I just hope I can maintain this when difficult situations arise.

My blood is working, but my, my heart is dead – 18th February 2020

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I can communicate enough with non-English speakers. I will try to learn more and more.

Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what’s left and live it properly. What doesn’t transmit light creates its own darkness.

Marcus Aurelius

To-do list

  • More about emotional control ½
  • 20-minute meditations ✅
  • Sort out passport/visa change ✅
  • Sort out return visa exemption ✅
  • Give Maisarah letter ✅

Improved positive emotions today, helped by having to go to Immigration in the morning to get my visa transferred to my new passport – ie. not sitting around in school.

Gave Maisarah my gratitude letter and spent an hour or so talking with her. She’s a good person.

I felt much calmer today and though I thought about Kimi often it was happy memories of him laughing and joking.

This evening I sat for over 2 hours at the neighbour’s funeral as the monk made everyone laugh with his words, sometimes making fun of me. It was an interesting approach to often sombre occasions. Even though I couldn’t understand his words I could feel the happiness throughout those gathered and I could also see or at least understand the positive effects of community.

We got that attitude! – 10th February 2020

I am so happy and grateful for all the friends I have made around the world so that I can go to places and meet them. I met Kyaw Kyaw and Zarni from Rebel Riot and Christopher Luppi, a long-time scene veteran in Thailand.

The more people you listen to, the more aspects of humanity you will recognise, and the better your instincts will be.

Kate Murphy, NYT

Hinoki Land

To-do list

  • Savour the drive back to Chiang Rai ½

I did savour moments of our drive back especially when we stopped at Hinoki Land, a beautiful Japanese site with great architecture and views.

One thing I noticed a lot though was how much Amy makes small complaints and negative comments. They didn’t alter my own mood but I notice this more and more when I compare it to how we were in Australia. It’s like she didn’t need to comment on each small petty grievance in Australia because she was generally happy and positive about life around her. My concern is that she is less happy now and that will have a longer-term effect on both of us.

I’m looking forward to sleeping tonight and whilst not looking forward to going back to school, I am positive about getting back into a routine again. When we talked about it on our drive I realised there are only about 4 more weeks of actual teaching left.

We got that attitude! – 9th February 2020

I am so happy and grateful for our friends taking care of our house and cats.

Ask truly curious questions that don’t have the hidden agenda of fixing, saving, advising, convincing or correcting.

Kate Murphy, NYT

To-do list

  • Talk with John (he will be busy though!) ½
  • Talk with Kyaw Kyaw and Zarni ✅
  • Get Kyaw Kyaw and Zarni to do TCRAH spot
  • Talk to as many people as you can ½

A very lazy day finished off by going to the show at Mohawk Bar. I met Kyaw Kyaw and talked with him a few times through the night which was rewarding and it was good to finally meet.

I probably wouldn’t have stayed around too long if I hadn’t met Christopher Luppi. As the older punk members club we swapped stories and he introduced me to a few others he knew. The evening passes quite quickly in the end. I had lots of opportunities to talk to more people but didn’t make the best of it, still a little shy and reserved.

We got that attitude! – 7th February 2020

I am so happy and grateful to have a car. I like to drive and the drive to Chiang Mai is quite pleasant.

An emotion can be generated by the thought of something good or bad happening either now or in the future.

Massimo Pigliucci

To-do list

  • Enjoy the drive, take your time ✅
  • Stimulate the conversation with Tik and Oh
  • What acts of kindness can you do? ✅
  • Think more about drawing something for the kids

A long lazy drive, very much enjoyable, talking with Amy, listening to music and viewing the scenery.

When we met Tik and Oh it was quite noisy, in a very busy outdoor restaurant so I didn’t spend much time trying to get into conversation but it was a happy and fun evening.

I did, or tried to do, a random act of kindness today when I saw an older lady struggling with some bags. I helped her and she thanked me but soon after reversed the help I’d given her. I still felt OK and I still think she appreciated someone trying to help even if she didn’t actually want it.

I’ve added random acts of kindness to my coach.me habits app in an effort to keep it more in my mind.

Pull yourself up by the bootstraps – 6th February 2020

Gratitude Journal

I’m so happy and grateful for my relative freedom. After reading about Natascha Kampusch spending eight years in a dungeon and how she dealt with it is really inspiring. But even outside her dungeon she still has a feeling of being trapped. Hence relative freedom.

Justification for infidelity and dishonesty in all their manifestations lies in the marginal cost economics of ‘just this once’.

Clayton M. Christensen, HBR

To-do list

  • Get cutting knife
  • Prepare Kru Noon’s card
  • upload TCRAH
  • Rip some CDs
  • Rest. Speak less. Listen more ✅

Well, I didn’t get many of those things done! But that’s ok because I really did rest a lot. I read a lot and watched a bunch of really interesting stuff on YouTube, some of which I really was savouring.

I was in a good frame of mind when Aing, Gus and Nu came and I enjoyed talking with them, kicking off a conversation by asking them that in ten years time they will be successful – what does success mean for them? Aing then surprised me by asking if I think about how I might die. While Gus and Nu laughed I thought it a very valid question.

It was an interesting and thoughtful conversation and I very much enjoyed it. So, nice and rested, I’m prepared for our long drive tomorrow.

Kill confusion by killing options – 4th February 2020

Most disputes are a waste of time even if you’re in the right….

– Haters blog post by Paul Graham

I can recall a thousand arguments I thought I’d won, “That showed them!” Only now to realise I had lost.

Some people start arguments for an unknown reason. Why do we bite at it? Sometimes it’s something we just know we can easily win. An opportunity to show intellectual superiority. What did that achieve in the end?

Sometimes people just sound argumentative perhaps not eloquent enough to express themselves any other way. Being able to defuse situations like that takes a special skill, worth practicing.

Some people don’t argue at all and start with a closed fist. They didn’t like the way you looked. The air sizzles with violence. Mostly recognised from younger days, too old to be a threat to anyone now surely.

Another option often chosen is to simply run away from it, waiting until calmer heads prevail. But what if it didn’t come?

I hate arguing, it’s a waste of time and energy. That doesn’t mean I won’t stand up for what I believe to be right and true but those opportunities rarely actually appear in life. Most arguments are petty and ultimately inconsequential. So the aim is not to win or lose but to just not waste time.

I’m sick of emotions always tearing me inside
Watching things crumble, letting all things slide
A very temporary waste of time
Is there really such a thing as a waste of time?

Gray Matter

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my medicine. I didn’t realise I didn’t take it yesterday and I felt pretty down most of that time. Only realised this morning when I found the tablet on the bench!

You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

Buddha

To-do list

  • Take some new photos to use on the blog ½
  • Gym after work ✅
  • Play the listen and don’t complain game ½
  • Clear some Pocket articles ✅

It was a little difficult to play the listen and don’t complain game as Kevin and Said weren’t in school today and apart from courtesies I only spoke to Fred for about 3 minutes. I was able to do it later though when Kru Tam was complaining about Kevin not being organised to send things for printing. I just asked her what she would like me to do.

Similarly, taking photos wasn’t really an easy task either. I’m either sitting at my desk or teaching – not many interesting photo opportunities arising.

I rode my pushbike to the gym and met KP along the way which was nice – she has such a good heart. She was in a hrry though so not much chat but I hope I can ask her to help bring some students for us sometime.

I learned a lot today about social connection and just talking to strangers. A little easier said than done with the language barrier here but George seems to manage to do it quite well. I need to practice those skills. I guess I missed a little opportunity to do this at the gym as there was a white guy there. the gym feels a bit weird to do that though. Though, now I’m thinking of it, it is where George meets and talks to a lot of people so I guess I just need to bite the bullet and try it.