Tag: quote

One Thing – 5th December 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s all you have, there’s nothing else
All you held are old dusty dreams
It’s the time you are alive, this one thing
The only possession that is what it seems

Every moment wasted on the dramas of others subtracts from your strength.

Robert Greene

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and carefree despite still having to organise things for my students for tomorrow’s classes.
Today I’m grateful for:
The rental car company and for being able to drive around Phuket at leisure and without worry.
The best thing about today was:
Today has been steadily great. Right now we’re in the Hilton restaurant at the beach with free-flow alcohol. Good for Amy! This morning we had delicious brunch at another beach, along with Aing, after dropping Fern and Harper at the airport. Everything went super smoothly timing-wise and Amy and I drove back by the scenic beaches route with a quick circuit of Patong just as a reminder of being there 10 years ago. The lovely hotel we stayed at that time has been abandoned since, probably due to the pandemic, but there were lots of new ones and many foreign tourists around as expected. After dropping Amy back at Pim’s I went off book shopping and picked up one book I was looking for and another three by Studs Turkel, who I’ve never heard of, but was fascinated by the name and an approval from Kurt Vonnegot on the back cover of one. Awesome, even with the heavy rain.
Something I learned today?
According to surveys, Chiang Rai is the drunkest province in Thailand. Not sure how this was measured and it must be pretty serious as everywhere in Thailand loves a drink.
What are some of the challenges you face?
My biggest challenges at the moment probably revolve around health. I need to lose a little weight again and build up some stamina but seem to be suffering a little from what may be long covid. I get breathless and exhausted easily. I have aching hips and a painful neck, weak arms with painful elbows. I should focus a little bit of extra effort on maintenance in the next few months.

I took this picture because it was good timing for us to be dropping Fern to the airport near where Aing lives and Aing has a day off today so we could treat her to lunch. The food was great and the beach was good too.

Pina Colada – 4th December 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Put it away you fat gut fuck
We know who ate the pies
Whoever told you that you look great
Was simply telling you lies
Your beer baby collecting sweat
Sunburned wives drunk on wine
Hair of the dog on the morning stroll
At the beach again, rain or shine

The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience.

From To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and relaxed
Today I’m grateful for:
The second pharmacy I tried that sold me tramadol at a reasonable price compared to the first that wanted almost 3 times as much. It reminded me of the time the same thing that happened in Chiang Mai. Shop around.
The best thing about today was:
Going to Coffee U for my morning hit. Gui at House suggested going there as it is a friend he trained in Bangkok who runs it. The coffee wasn’t amazing but did the job. Sitting outside was a foreign girl and her small dog. The dog was really pretty so I went and petted her and talked to the girl who sounded east European perhaps. She said the dog was just 5 months old and a cross German Shepherd and random Thai but that she was super friendly and relaxed and was cool with cats and kids. That’s the type of dog I’d like. One day maybe.
Also driving around to different parts of Phuket and just relaxing back into it as the maelstrom of Amy, Fern, Pim and Harper spins around me. I’m just the driver so I do my job, enjoying what I can. I ask few questions and just take them where they wish.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I was kind of interested to go to a bookshop today but it was too late by the time we’d finished running around. It would’ve been nice to have done something I wanted to do but it’s not that big a deal. I might get a chance tomorrow…and then again I might not.
What types of journals do you like to keep?
I’ve been keeping things all over the place. In notebooks and online. I’m starting to dig Day One as a journal on my phone as it also has some interesting prompts. I may pay to upgrade and use its speech-to-text ability rather than writing, especially as I end up putting everything online, it’s easier to just cut and paste.

I took this picture because I’m here in Phuket where there are way too many foreign tourists for my liking but it’s still possible to find beautiful places to take pictures and mostly devoid of humanity. As I took this one I pondered what is it that attracts us to the points where land meets the sea.

Ferris Wheel – 3rd December 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Smooth Tim sells sofas – modular
And his voice has become so popular
Now the king of Dumbdom City
His voice has never been so pretty
Hiding confidence he found lacking
Advertising dollars are his backing
A billion books sold with nothing to say
Four hours of reading is his work today
On this wheel but no longer grinding
Empowering words are his finding
Pulled up from bootstraps and collar
Another four-hour day, another dollar

Inspired by listening to a Soaring Twenties podcast where Tim Ferriss was being dumped on, perhaps rightly, perhaps unfairly. Hot takes provide interest.

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

Francis Bacon

Today I’m feeling:
Happy, and relaxed though a little tired
Today I’m grateful for:
All the people that made it possible for Amy and me to fly to Phuket today. If you think about it, there are a lot of people involved in making this happen, which we now take so much for granted.
The best thing about today was:
Swimming in Pim’s pool and looking up at the palms.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
A drunken Amy screaming in the car as I drove to the restaurant for dinner. I enjoyed it as much as I could as it makes me happy to see her happy.
List three goals for this month.

  1. Try to have some money left by the end of the month.
  2. Start using Ableton again and compose some music.
  3. Not lose my temper with my students.

4th Jan 2023 – 1. Fail 2. Fail 3. Success

I took this picture because we’re staying at Pim’s new rental house in Phuket and this is the pool which took me a few minutes after arriving to jump into. Good backstroke for my shoulders but exhausted afterwards.

The Nothing Special – 2nd December 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Those were the days of Terry and Bruce
Ran the airwaves without ever getting loose
It’s the holidays, it’s eight o’clock
It’s time for Nothing Special to rock
A variety of nondescript acts
A poor mans reading of ridiculous facts
There’s nothing special about Christmas this year
So Nothing Special is watched without fear
The boring boredom of the everyday
Made Nothing Special special in some way
Rolling out the favourites as if to assume
This is what people wanted to consume

There was something comforting about holiday TV in the UK in the 70s and 80s. Banal family entertainment that will never live on in memory. In those days there was not much entertainment to choose from though now I feel we suffer from having too many choices. Is this simply a function of growing old?

I’d written down ‘Nothing Special’ earlier but forgotten why and ended up thinking about TV ‘specials’ of the past instead.

We make each other alive. Does it matter if it hurts?

Ingmar Bergman

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and relaxed
Today I’m grateful for:
Thailand having yet another holiday on Monday, which I only found out about today. We had already planned to be in Phuket until Tuesday anyway but this means I only have to take one day of leave.
The best thing about today was:
Nong Fah came to class and gave me a Chupa Chup for no particular reason at all. I was pleasantly surprised and appreciative. All my students were in a reasonable mood today which made the day go well for all of us.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I realised when I went to pay for coffee this morning that an automatic payment had come out of my bank rather than Paypal and I only had 32 baht left. When Amy asked me to pick up some food I had to ask her to transfer me money and I’d also ordered some books from Bangkok that I had to apologise that I couldn’t pay for yet and hoped they hold for me. The day we get paid seems to vary from month to month. Sometimes on the first or fourth or within two or three days on either side. It’s a little annoying I don’t have money as we leave for Phuket tomorrow. I’ll be living out of Amy’s wallet for a few days.
Who do you envy?
I don’t think I envy a whole person particularly, perhaps not even envy at all. If there are specific traits that I might envy in people I’ve learned to accept my lack of ability and realise that everything is in accordance as it should be. As I envy so might others envy me.

I took this picture a long time ago. It was actually a video and I just found it again today and took a screen capture as this lightning bug’s tummy flashed on.

Boundless – 1st December 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Our fear of death is negated by our fear of living
Buried underground with our fear of breathing
Miracles abound and they never stop giving
But our closed doors of perception have stopped receiving

Imagining differences is part of the madness of groups.

Robert Greene

Today I’m feeling:
Happy but then lethargic after two cocktails with late lunch
Today I’m grateful for:
Having spare pots around to transfer a cactus that kept falling over. I’m quite proud I’ve managed to keep some of them alive since Amy has been away. This one is a hardy one that had got too tall and unwieldy.
The best thing about today was:
Talking, playing and having fun with all different students. It’s starting to feel familiar for all of us now.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Another class today straggled in late but this time I just went with the flow, knowing that these kids wouldn’t react so maturely as the ones yesterday. It got them in the right mood to do my work and to be happily pushed along
What cities do you want to visit?
All of them. Why not!? I’m trying to think of a city I wouldn’t want to visit…

I took this picture because Goya was in a lively and artistic mood and apparently this is a drawing of me… She captured my shirt well! Goya is a smart kid but also a bit of a handful.

Drag – 30th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The dog lashed to the cart
Doesn’t dictate the way
Accepts the choices given
And finds the space to play

We defend with our lives the petty principles which divide us…we fight only for the status quo, our particular status quo.

Henry Miller

Today I’m feeling:
Happy
Today I’m grateful for:
The animals that were sacrificed to go into the meat jerky that Tokyo and Tangmo love so much. Tokyo loves to see me in the mornings now and today snatched up the empty jerky bag and wouldn’t give it back, growling and snarling if your hand was anywhere close. Me and Gui’s dad couldn’t get it off her though we tried for ten minutes. Tangmo has also been visiting more since receiving these treats. This afternoon he was sleeping in our driveway when I got home at 4.30.
The best thing about today was:
Sending some positive reinforcement messages to three of my students who I can see have been achieving a little more than usual. I hope it encourages them. I need and want to do this with some of the other students too. I need to look a bit closer at some of them, some of the quiet ones that go under the radar, give them some encouragement too. Though I sometimes get frustrated and angry with situations in my job I really love what I do.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Most of the 2/7 kids came to class late and unprepared and I gave them hell for it. But I wasn’t really angry, just loud and serious and though they were a bit shocked they made an effort and I made the class fun for them again.
What will you miss about November?
Erm… November is October is December….can you miss something about a made-up word to define a period of time? Was there supposed to be something special that happened in November that I miss? How can I miss it? I did it already. If it’s something I wish to do again, then I will. Should I apply a more artistic approach to the question? Or do I prefer to be this grumpy old man?

Those dry November days
Blistered by sunshine
Wrapped up at night

Foggy mornings descended
And the roadworks finally ended
Arriving early for coffee
And perhaps a fart to signal the start
Of fresh lambs to slaughter

I took this picture because this is an example of my students ‘in action’ today. This is Earn, a quiet girl with no enthusiasm for anything except her girlfriend. At least she’s not disruptive!

Big Tokes – 29th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Fucked up and thinking
All the crazy thoughts
Eyes half shut and drooping
Smashed out of sorts
Time stretched and twisted
An hour, a second, a day
Wake up next week
With nothing left to say
Your brain on drugs
The egg now over-fried
Paranoia and suspicion
Now set deep inside

I don’t want innovations which improve my shopping experience or make smartphones a tiny bit better. I want innovations which eliminate world hunger…innovations which help humans live in harmony with our ecosystem.

Caitlin Johnstone

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and high
Today I’m grateful for:
Matt giving me some kratom tea and then some weed tea at his place that had me fucked up and paranoid on the way home and when I got in I went straight to bed where I kinda fell in and out of dream state. I woke up an hour later groggy and still slightly bent. I’ve done nothing else but be lazy tonight. Weed really seems to be the best drug to keep people sedated.
The best thing about today was:
Having fun with my kids in class again. I think we got past the rocky start we had last week and I feel a little more confident again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Well, due to that unexpected high I wasn’t able to do things that I would normally want to do and I’m at peace with that decision. I felt out of control and the way to deal with it was just to slow everything down.
What are you curious about?
I’d like to say I’m curious about everything but that’s not really true. I’m probably less curious about many things now just out of laziness. There are things I don’t need to know. Actually, so much I don’t need to know. With modern technology, I wonder if my kids feel like this about everything. Just find out what you need to know when you need it. Maybe in the foreseeable future, this will be a benefit.

I took this picture because this is the first foggy morning of winter. Despite it being cooler in the morning we’ve needed the aircon on again at night and right now I’m sweating away with two fans before heading into the chilly bedroom.

Lost Diplomat – 28th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The art of politics, a war of words
No value holds except for action’s result
The game of life, power and influence
Made all the more difficult
By clowns with big wallets flashing
Of which the ignored must choose
Checks and balances, no winners
The plan is just not to lose

I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.

Hunter S Thompson

Today I’m feeling:
Fairly happy, minorly frustrated.
Today I’m grateful for:
The word search maker website that, with a small amount of prep, helped keep my kids occupied for half an hour or so. Once I realised that they could play online I let the kids keep their phones and off they went, relatively quiet and interested.
The best thing about today was:
Good caffeine hits at House in the morning, getting a bit more blogging out of the way and quickly preparing some work for one of the classes tomorrow.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
If it’s a school day these entries will probably revolve around class situations! Today I got tired of some students being over playful, mocking or disruptive in both my classes so I sent them out. I’ve contacted their homeroom teachers and advised them that this will be how I handle this in the future. I will talk with the students and make sure they understand too. I almost lost it at one point but managed to keep my annoyance in check, helped by the fact I was in a reasonably good mood.
When are you most at peace?
In the lucid dreaming stage of sleep. I love that feeling even if details are forgotten on waking the memory endures. Most other times I feel I am at war, so that even that becomes a sort of peace, in its numbing inevitability. I am at peace on a plane. I have ceded all control over my life, may as well relax.

I took this picture because suddenly the sun appeared after a small storm, just as it was setting. The last light, gone from me for another day.

Dig In – 27th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The roots have grown
The longer you stay
The harder it is to leave

Now time has shown
That along the way
You’ve found what you believe

The comfort of the rich depends upon an abundant supply of the poor.

Voltaire

Today I’m feeling:
Relaxed and lazy
Today I’m grateful for:
The fisherman who caught the prawns I ate, somewhere far away. Shipped them to shore, then the factory workers who prepared them and packaged them and the drivers who delivered them.
The best thing about today was:
Enjoying ice cream and snacks after a weed gummy. It’s hard to stop eating!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I could tell Amy was getting a little irritable around lunch time so I just laughed and joked a little and not getting sucked into an argument over nothing. She quickly lightened up and everything was normal again. These situations can quickly go out of control when I don’t handle them well.
In what ways have you observed balance in nature or in the universe?
Looking at mountains, staring at the sea. I see balance in nature when there are no humans around and I become a ghost, an observer but only as a memory. Looking up at the stars and the moon, being grateful for this very specific role I have been given.

I took this picture because Jet made this nice drawing of me and my nice shirt! This picture is a throwback to a couple of weeks ago. No pictures again today!

The Narrative – 26th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Is this narrative true
Or just what you want to hear?
If everything is obscured
It surely can be made clear
Is this narrative a lie
Or what you choose to believe?
When lies are lies and lies are truth
It’s manifest to deceive

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

Aristotle

Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good. A little antsy but not for any particular reason.
Today I’m grateful for:
The new 100-watt light bulb above me that means I can read a bit more comfortably again. The last one didn’t last for long.
The best thing about today was:
Riding my pushbike to Utopia this morning. Nice temperature, cloudy and little traffic.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy needed some money to buy wine at the shop as she couldn’t pay by card so she came and asked me to get some cash out for her. In the evening the same thing happened at 7-11. We share our money so it’s not that big a deal but it was something that we couldn’t control at the time though because we were together the solution was quick and easy so Amy didn’t have any frustration.
What are you most thankful for?
This seems obvious but I’m most thankful to be alive. I wouldn’t be anything otherwise.

I took this picture because I find this building incredibly interesting. It looks like it’s from a Ghibli movie. I’m not sure if it’s a hotel or a student dorm. I took this a couple of days ago up by the stupa. No photos at all today!