Tag: Ragtag Daily Prompt

Walking In Darkness – 26th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Without the light, it’s easy to submit
Wild and brave men no longer thrive
Those empty spaces are full of it
Desperate hands grasping to survive

These men bleed, kept in silence
There’s no longer a world to save
Tired of all the endless violence
In darkness rot the men so brave

Inspired by this post at John Coyote’s blog
17th Dec 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – darkness

Today I’m feeling:

A bit more awake this morning after struggling to get up.  I really wanted to sleep more.  I noticed that my stomach has lost a little more excess flab so I’m happy about that.  Keep going.

Today I’m grateful for:

The receptionist at the dental clinic who happily changed my dental appointment from next week to mid-February because, and I told her this, I don’t have any money to pay until I paid again.  We both talked in a mixture of English and Thai and could understand each other clearly and I wai’d her my thanks as I left.

The best thing about today was:

…well, it seems strange to call this the best thing but it is certainly something that stands out. 

For my last grade 7 class of the day, I asked the kids to log in to the Quiz on their phones.  Aomsin, who was sitting right in front of me in the front row, said she couldn’t because she had no battery.  I explained to her in English that I told the class many times that for my class they must always have enough battery and good internet access. 

Aomsin’s English is not that good yet though and whilst she could tell that I was being serious she clearly did not understand the details.  This was Friday afternoon, the last hours of the day and I was feeling laid back and playful.  The other kids could sense that.  I told her that I take away 5 points in the system if they are not prepared. I was smiling and had no intention to do that but wanted her to know that she should always be prepared.

Anyway, I translated into Thai for her so she could understand and she nodded and looked down at her phone.  Gunn, sitting next to her, looked at me, looked at her and then looked at me again.  Aomsin then started talking in Thai, sounding like complaining-explaining and looked back up to me, with a slightly pleading face and then I saw a tear fall down each of her cheeks. 

I couldn’t believe it.  I wiped away each tear and said ‘Hey, come on, it’s not that serious.’ Again, she didn’t quite get it.  I comforted her and told her in Thai that I was only playing with her. 

Gunn cracked up laughing at her but I wanted her to feel better.  Then she started really balling her eyes out but also laughing at the same time.  Laughing and crying at herself and her friends.  It was like she really wanted to feel an emotion deeply but also realised how absurd it was.  She was smiling and laughing but couldn’t stop herself from crying. 

Other kids started paying attention and couldn’t understand why everyone looked happy and smiling but Aomsin was crying.  Gunn quickly offered a solution with his charger (why didn’t she just ask him to borrow it in the first place!) and even that couldn’t settle her down.  Gunn talked some more to her and I went and attended a couple of other students before coming back after a few minutes. 

She had settled herself by this time but when I asked her to do the quiz she said she couldn’t yet.  I got down on my knees and wai’d her my apologies many times over and both she and Gunn cracked up laughing again.

I guess it’s a good lesson for me that not everyone gets the vibe or feeling of the class and whilst I can be quite strict about what I want I’m not so often angry about anything. I can sense Aomsin is sensitive, not just in my class but in general and I should be aware of that and make sure that she understands when something is playful or serious.  I could be wrong but I don’t think she was really upset with what happened and maybe there were other things going on for her and she was having a bad day and this just tipped her over the edge.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After picking up my coffee and making sure to be back in school for first class I was wondering why the building was so quiet.  No kids!  What’s going on? You can read more below.  How did I handle it?  By taking the free time opportunity to write here.

Something I learned today?

This morning my first class was delayed as there was something going on.  As I was in the classroom ready to teach I decided to go and find out what it was all about.  It was about the upcoming election for a student to the school board. 

I walked around and ended up talking with Jet and asked her who she would vote for and why.  I then asked if she would want to run for election when she was in grade 11 and she said ‘Why would I want to do that!?’ 

Ok, I said, who do you think in your class would be suitable and she thought Anchan.  She said Anchan is a little older than the rest of the class and can control them quite well.  I wasn’t too surprised at this as I could see last year that she had some leadership qualities if she chose to go in that direction.  It was interesting to hear this from another student though.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent Anchan a positive message based on what Jet had said above, to show my support and pride in her.  I told her to keep going. (Just as I told myself this morning – keep going!)

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 6. Keep a Journal. No, keeping a journal is not for children. It helps you to become a better thinker and writer. “I don’t want to be a writer” you might think. Well, how many emails and texts do you send a day? Everybody is a writer.

Journaling has only become a habit since moving to Thailand and somewhat inspired by starting 1994ever to document my year in 1994.  Because I have ended up with fewer external things to do I have had more time to develop this habit and it doesn’t feel like a chore like when I was a teenager trying to keep up a diary.  As the idea states you become a better thinker and that is what I want to be.  Yesterday’s idea was about strengthening the body through exercise, today is about strengthening the brain through journaling.

I took this picture because we had to cut our three big trees down as the roots would fuck up the buildings. It looks so strange and we’re a little sad because they were big healthy trees that gave a lot of shade.

Titanic Struggle – 13th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 13 Comments

All adrift, clinging to a plank
An act of violence ruptured
The bottom of the boat that sank

All hopeless, no help in icy waters
The push-and-pull unstructured
The cruel winds of heaven tortures

All alone, no kindness heard
Can the heart be healed?
Returned by the comforting word

All afire, broken and impermanent
The future one day revealed
When feet planted on new firmament

dVerse challenge

1st Jun 2024 – Submitted to the Ragtag Daily Prompt

Today I’m feeling:

Very good. I pushed through exercise and felt good for it. At school, I comforted ****** as best I could and asked Jan to keep me updated. I feel a little hopeless about helping her and I can imagine she feels even more so.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nut’s Auntie and uncle who came and cleaned up lots of little details around our garden, in particular, pulling the weeds out from the driveway where our purple grass grows.

The best thing about today was:

Hearing from my grade 10 students that the reason that they wanted me to teach them next year is that they feel relaxed in my class and find it fun and more enjoyable than with Thai teachers. I have to wonder what some of their other classes are actually like.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

On arriving home Amy was cleaning Bruno’s high-pressure hose (and seemed to be in a bad mood) and told me he wanted it back. 

I was doubtful about this as he had said to keep it as long as I needed and I still have a few places I’d like to clean up. 

I was also informed that I would have to drive Nut’s Auntie and uncle back to Bruno’s after they had finished which would be soon. 

I didn’t say anything, I hadn’t even got the shopping inside yet. I just accepted my fate and took a quick shower by which time they were ready to go. 

Of course, once we got there, Bruno was surprised to get his machine back already as he knew I hadn’t finished with it, and said to take it back. I hushed him and told him not to worry about it, as it already revealed Amy’s little white lie and I made no complaint. Amy seemed to be in a better mood by then, so all was good as we drove back home again.

Something I learned today?

It has only ever snowed two times in the Sahara. How’s that for some relatively useless information.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Once again offering support to my students struggling with mental health issues.

I took this picture on Sunday morning because this was the same mountain that we were at the top of the afternoon before, rising out of the cool morning mist.

Getting Out – 6th November 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The world is trapped behind glass
A zoo of drunken circus chimps
We look up to others to ask
Just what is this wonder we may only glimpse?

Maybe this spectacle isn’t real?
How can something be so shiny and pretty?
When the glass shatters we feel
That the chimps are less deserving of pity

Running amok, all over our dreams
The promises now grown more distant
Nothing now is what it seems
And that nagging becomes more insistent

Inspired by the second part of this post at Spinning Visions
11th Oct 2024 – Shared with the Ragtag Daily Prompt – zoo

Today I’m feeling:

Still dizzy. Even dizzy during my poor sleep last night as my body aches made me uncomfortable. Wondering how serious this might be. But I still pushed through morning exercise hoping that that may get me going. Not quite. Will see how I fair today.

Today I’m grateful for:

Funfai bringing me a food gift. Unfortunately it was pork so I had to return it though I made sure she knew I was grateful. 

The best thing about today was:

Finally feeling better by the afternoon after sinking a cup of water with electrolytes. I’m not 100% yet but at least I don’t feel as if I might fall over now.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My first class this morning was a bit of a test for me and I almost lost it but I think the kids sensed it and were unusually quiet for a little while which softened me a little. I also recalled a daily reminder I have set – “Be grateful for what you have, for it is a gift that can be taken away at any moment.”

Something I learned today?

Some musicians I have worked with in Germany before are rushing to release a compilation to benefit women struggling through the war in Gaza. There are only four days to submit and I don’t think anyone I know would be able to commit to that. But in an effort to be useful, I passed the message on to the current folks I’ve been working with on the Jorando Del Muerto release.

Who is the wisest person I know?

I keep seeing this prompt and thinking it says who is the worst person you know!

The wisest….?

Even people I admire I don’t consider all-wise, all-knowing. Everyone has their foibles. And everyone has some wisdom. Take the best from people so that you can learn. Try everything until you figure it out for yourself.

How am I different than I was a year ago?

Change seems slow until you look back from further in the future. I don’t feel as if I’ve changed much at all in the last twelve months. I can see very minor improvements when I look back at diary entries and think to myself ‘Oh yeah, I remember doing that’ and then making decisions about where to go from there.

Answering this question for five or ten years ago would be much easier to analyse.

How am I stepping outside my comfort zone?

I’m not doing this too much these days but I can think that forcing myself to exercise is outside my comfort zone even though I’ve been doing it regularly for a couple of years now. I’ve been taking cold showers since about March and still going at the moment, testing myself to see how far I can make it into winter. I will go and play tennis with Funfai once a week, just for thirty minutes, despite my aching old bones. I’m still not often comfortable in the classroom either. I’m still learning everything.

Soup Plus – 3rd October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

As I stir the soup and listen to old jazz
The breeze blows nostalgia through the window
Mother looks down at me and with her care
Showed me the love that I now wish to share

Holding high the lanterns to light the path
Corners follow corners and this is the way
One day we’ll stop stirring what’s in the pot
And appreciate what it is that we’ve got

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions
Soup Plus was the name of a neat jazz club on George Street in Sydney when I arrived there in 1994. ‘This is the way’ is a phrase Amy commonly uses and makes me chuckle for some reason.
29th Oct 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – soup

Today I’m feeling:

Good though a little dodgy in the stomach. I was glad to have slept a little earlier last night and felt okay on waking. I should have nothing much on my plate today so will do lesson planning, first at House, then at Daytripper, with a little shop at Makro on the way.

(Later) Totally forgot about going to Makro as I was driving home and when I was home decided it was too hot to go out to Daytripper. Never mind. I got some good lessons down and formed ideas for three or four more to complete before leaving.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Aun for being able to take Leo for his afternoon walks this week so that I don’t have to go back and forth.

She also got offered a job teaching at the Montessori school which I think is a great opportunity for her and I hope she does well.

The best thing about today was:

Finishing vacuuming the house and putting the clean mats down in the kitchen. I know it will only be a day or two until both myself and the cats traipse in all sorts of dirt and dust but for now, I felt a great sense of satisfaction.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I haven’t taken any photos these last two days though when I think back on the day there was certainly opportunity. I’m trying to keep it in the forefront of my mind though I wonder if so much here now has become so normal to me that I don’t notice it so much. And also don’t appreciate it as much, perhaps?

Something I learned today?

The high-speed rail between Jakarta and Bandung in Indonesia went into operation this week.

I took this picture a couple of weeks ago because this is Leo looking somewhat thoughtful as he sniffs around for a place to poop.

The Beautiful People – 29th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Heads may turn in Soho streets
At soirees at the Ritz
And so this scene oft repeats
Amongst the glamour and the glitz

Here are seen the painted faces
And the finest flowing dresses
But the real beautiful people
Are down playing in their messes

The artists and bohemian types
The dustbin men, already sleeping
Absent of any media hypes
Content in the company they’re keeping

The farmers covered in mud and shit
The real diamonds under dusty feet
Pearly smiles gleam as they exit the pit
Just enough energy left to eat

All the beautiful people go unseen
Away from the cameras clicking
This is how it has always been
Since the time that kings came tricking

Let’s celebrate their grime and sweat
Grateful for the time they’re giving
Don’t let the glamour rats forget
Why they enjoy the way they’re living

21st Mar 2024 – Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt – Colourful Streets

Today I’m feeling:

Relaxed and a little sad. Most of my relationships now have been formed around my students and I know that I will miss them during the holidays. Some students feel the same, not necessarily about me but about not being able to meet their friends often. But it is also great to have a break from it all too and I’m starting to look forward to going to Australia.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Gam for putting a frangipani behind my ear, giving me a hug and saying she will miss me in the holiday. I have appreciated her efforts to improve her English this semester and she has appreciated the time I spent to help her.

The best thing about today was:

Little Nicha wrote a very sweet message for me in the Quizizz I gave her class today. Along the lines of ‘Thank you to help me learn more when I am struggling and for comforting me when I was sad.’  I’m tearing up a little just writing it! 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I had psyched myself up to stay at school and play a little tennis with Funfai before her coaching but it had rained a lot during the afternoon and I wasn’t sure if she would still go. She said she wanted to and the rain had cleared so I waited around playing volleyball with a bunch of other kids. But then more rain came and I gave up and we agreed to try again next semester when there will be less rain. 

So, it was annoying that I stayed around when I could’ve gone home quicker but I still enjoyed the time hanging out with different students.

Something I learned today?

Last night I was following up on the drama at school with Feije and asked Nong Fah what was the story. She told me a little and it was a totally new story to the one from the day before! 

When I asked Fah what she thought about the events she said she didn’t know, much like when I asked her before what was up with Feije recently. I then realised that she was being typically Thai-style diplomatic and didn’t want to say anything bad about someone else. 

I found this kind of endearing but also frustrating in that it’s difficult to know how people really feel about things in Thai culture.

Either way, it was an interesting learning experience for me to see how some cultural norms are here through the lens of my students.

Also in relation to yesterday, the student having trouble with his friends messaged me saying he stopped being friends with them because they were punching him. I told him that friends don’t do that and that he can tell me if they keep bullying him. He said that it was okay because he didn’t want to cause any trouble. I told him that I understood but that I was there if he needed me. 

I thought that this was a kind of Thai attitude but now I’m writing more I guess this is how many kids deal with being bullied anywhere in the world.

What changes did I experience this past month?

This feels a little difficult to contemplate these days. Things are changing a lot more slowly than previously and are less noticeable.  I guess that as it’s gotten to the end of September I’m starting to feel a little excitement about going to Australia, as I will leave in ten days time.

Also as the month has gone on and the holiday approached, I’ve felt a gradual winding down and relaxation in the classroom.

I took this picture because I have no new pictures today so scouted around the house for something interesting. These cats are part of a set of 5. The picture behind is from a long time back as I was still dying my hair black then. I think it’s from a trip to somewhere in Thailand.

Secret Friend – 18th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A love not allowed
Always having to pretend
We became each others’
Secret friend

The thrill of it fed us
Illicit liaisons in the dark
Talking under the bridge
Walking around the park

No authority could conspire
To make our secret known
Always with excuses
So our cover was never blown

Until the pressure mounted
And blew up from within
It ripped our world apart
For new stories to begin

19th Oct 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – secret

Today I’m feeling:

Great, despite sleeping badly with aching hips and being too cold from the aircon. I got to school early and enjoyed multiple conversations with students. Most everyone seems to be in a good mood.

Today I’m grateful for:

The small office room at school that doesn’t get used much anymore and I can commandeer to talk one-to-one with students. I need to get them away from each other to see what they really know. To be honest, I don’t see much improvement during this time from most of them but hopefully, bits and pieces are sinking in.

The best thing about today was:

Checking in on David’s grade 8 class after my one-hour class and sitting with the poorer students and getting them started so they could start to see the pattern and what they needed to do. I think those students appreciated it especially when they realised how easy it was.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I got to the new immigration office pretty early but still ended up waiting about 45 minutes just to get the stamp in my passport for another year’s stay. At least I was prepared for this though and could catch up with some reading.

What is a photo that makes me smile every time I see it?

Maybe this used to be photos of Kim Chi but now those same pictures make me feel sad and miss her.

This picture brings back happy memories of new love and adventures.

Where did I show kindness?

Despite wanting to get out of school quickly to get some shopping done on the way home I ended up staying an extra 30 minutes and helping students in David’s class. I also followed up with one of the sleepers in that class to try and encourage them a bit more. It’s like leading cats forward with treats but at the end of the day the cat is still going to do what it wants to do.

I took this picture because I’m always making fun of Baipad for sleeping in class. I think she has some sort of problem that makes her tired as well as probably not eating well and overuse of the phone. The more I think about it the longer the list of things that have a negative impact on these kids these days. What to do…?

Met In A Maze – 26th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

That day of heartbreak set me on a path
I learned how easy it was to hurt others
And through the maze of time and people
It would be my turn to torture ex-lovers

Then it took another decade or two
To undo all the hurting done
That started with that one broken promise
Perhaps long forgotten by some

Now worlds away from each other
We all found our way down different paths
If we stumbled into each other’s dreams
Would they be full of our cries or laughs

Wishing things were different always held us back
We never knew better at the time
There’s a little piece of you in my head
That I promise will always be mine

2nd November 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – happy chance

Today I’m feeling:

A better sleep that wasn’t long enough. Pushed through an ab workout that I didn’t want to do. Feeling positive and content though I will stir further into action once I get some coffee, otherwise I could quite easily just fall back to sleep if the opportunity arose.

Today I’m grateful for:

Getting home and finding all my shirts ironed by my lovely wife. I had been putting it off because it’s too hot, even to do it sitting in an air-conditioned room. I’m also grateful to find out today that tomorrow morning there is some event for one of my classes so that I don’t have to teach them.

The best thing about today was:

Amy’s dinner. I came home hungry and Amy knocked up a delicious fake duck chilli jam, Thai basil stir fry that every single spoonful was scintillating down to the last one and even writing about it now is making my mouth water. To top it all Amy went out to meet her friends so I had a chance to bash around on the guitar for an hour or so which made me happy.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I fell asleep before writing anything here. Handled by writing this tomorrow morning.

Something I learned today?

I learned that Noey in 2/6 is disliked by most of her classmates although I couldn’t quite figure out why. Jet said it’s because she is lazy and always causes the rest of the class to have to wait for her to finish but I think there are worse offenders of that than Noey.

In general, how do I feel about how my life is going right now?

I think life is going pretty well. I’ve gotten used to the change of rhythm with Amy being back so when she is back in October more permanently it should be fairly easy to settle again. Amy is talking about her business plan so I’m glad to hear that. If that happens it would feel more settled for the future. Our health is reasonably good, our cats are old but in good condition. Our little family is doing okay.

I know yesterday was an old cloud picture day but I took this picture because this looked like it would brew nicely into something that cools down the evening. It was dark and I was playing guitar loudly by the time it hit and Cap ran under cover under the desk at the first peals of thunder and then static crackled through my amp with every flash of lightning. By the time I finished playing the storm was done and any coolness brought didn’t seem to make any difference as the humidity just increased. The rice field was ploughed last weekend and will soon be filled with a sea of green seedlings.

The Santa Ana Wind – 30th June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We need seasons for our sanity
The rhythms of the world turning
Standing still, the river is a lake
The flow of time is the learning

inspired and borrowed from text at the Spinning Visions blog
12th Nov 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – seasonal

Today I’m feeling:

Thankful for a sleep-in as my afternoon nap yesterday saw me awake into the early hours. Couldn’t force myself to exercise but will try to do something a little later. Can I hold myself to that promise? Is hanging out the washing considered exercise?

Today I’m grateful for:

This free day that saw me pulling weeds, sweeping leaves, hanging out washing and bringing it back in happily, as the morning clouds had left for a sunny afternoon. I kept myself awake with a quick bike ride in search of the wooden buildings I’d once seen down amongst the rice paddies near the airport. The day filled out well.

The best thing about today was:

Rediscovering the music of Cinemachanica, first listening on the stereo, and being convinced they’d never be able to play it live, and then finding several videos of them doing just that. Incredible musicians making music that will only appeal to a very few and I happen to be one of them.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy’s package that I ordered for her birthday was due to arrive today and all was looking good until Amy called me saying she’d got a message that it was delivered though she hadn’t received anything. The courier sent some photos and it appears it was just left outside the lifts of the building, sitting there for anyone to pick up and take off with. Fortunately, she found it in time but it was a bit of a blot on something that should have been a carefree joyful occasion. These trials test us. We shake our heads and go on our way.

Something I learned today?

I watched an amazing speech by Max Blumenthal to the UN about the war in Ukraine and how it is making America poorer as well as the rest of the world. Piles of Western allies’ tax money has been spent for no reward except for those that profit off the sales and how each of the last government’s chiefs all start buying stocks in weapons manufacturers whilst they’re in power which will start making money via the wars they start during that time. What a game!

What is my favourite memory from the past month?

This is a test. What happened in the last month? Anything out of the ordinary? I’ve learned to savour moments no matter how small but the memory of those moments is insignificant and a blur. Playing guitar, reading, writing, teaching, learning, talking, sleeping. Is it monotonous? It doesn’t feel like it. It feels normal. It feels preferable to highs and lows.
Yesterday, talking with Amy at the end of her birthday night she told me that several people remarked on how happy she is most of the time. It’s her default setting. She got the gene that makes her normal state of happiness higher than most. She’s lucky and grateful for that though a little perplexed because for her it’s just normal. We mere mortals have to try a little harder to occasionally reach a level of happiness that stands out.

I took this picture because I finally found the place I was looking for on my ride. It looks like it may have been a monk’s retreat or resort in the past. All the structures are made from wood so could be pretty old. Places like this get the old brain excited at the thought of what events may have occurred here in history.

Unmotivational Speech – 19th June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Brain dead, no energy
Why bother? What’s the point?
A six-month-old funky floor
So, let’s clean up this joint

Asleep awake, uninspired
Dullest days in sepia greys
Waste not this time with fun
Let’s get these dull things done

Bored and tired, zombie walk
A total lack of motivation
Washing, ironing, the shitty work
Once achieved provides inspiration

20th Mar 2024 – Submitted to RDP – Anodyne
11th May 2024 – Submitted to RDP – Funky

Today I’m feeling:

A bit wired as I struggled to get to sleep last night after a late afternoon coffee (in a coconut smoothie – delicious!) at Panor whilst out riding around. It was a hot day yesterday and I’m still thirsty from it.

Today I’m grateful for:

The three or four students who understood (in English) what gratitude is and how to apply it. Most of the class were confused though I plan on slowly building their knowledge about gratitude by repeating the exercise every few weeks.

The best thing about today was:

Playing volleyball with some students as a light rain came and cooled us all down. Some students enjoyed it so much that they wanted to get soaked in it. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Trying to get my students to review their work outside of class is very frustrating as they mostly try to ignore messages and make excuses. I don’t know everyone’s situation outside school but I’m sure they mostly spend time playing games or looking at social media. I spent a lot of effort today trying to get everyone to finish the work for me and I was about 90% successful. I’ll take that as a win.

Something I learned today?

I’m learning a few things from reading Sapiens for example how certain mindsets in the past made for dramatic changes around the world. The thought that there was more knowledge out there in the world led to imperialism, capitalism and science. Those who believed that there was nothing outside their own realm worth bothering about were soon in for a surprise. In some ways, it would be nice if we were all just happy in our little spaces and just getting along with those near to us but if that was the case I probably wouldn’t own this phone that I’m currently writing on.

What is something I’ve been procrastinating on that I need to tackle?

Not procrastinating so much as just not having enough free time or dropping something else but I still haven’t got going with Ableton Live and my keyboard. The enthusiasm I had for experimenting and figuring out how to do things with music software is countered by the overwhelming options and possibilities. Well, it’s still there, waiting for when I’m ready.

Where did I show self-discipline?

There was definitely a point in my one class today where it felt like frustration might take over. This usually happens when students are not paying attention and I have to repeat myself several times. 
Somehow I managed to push the emotion back down as ultimately I knew it would be counterproductive to getting anywhere near the result I wanted.

I took this picture because we may have our first-ever dragonfruit this year.

Soundbyte Generation – 29th May 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

SO … ten seconds … pass
UND … er the joker’s … glance
BY … the power up … above
TE …. ll him he’s … dreaming!
GEN … tle into the … night
ER … ror code … repeating
AT … death’s end, soon … here
I … wonder what … happened
ON … those days gone … by

1st Apr 2024 – Submitted to RagTag Daily Prompt

Today I’m feeling:

As I slept so early last night I woke up at around 5 am with the sunrise. That wasn’t enough to get me up though. However, I’d left the aircon on high and although I think it is only working as a fan it was sucking in cold air from outside and I was starting to shiver. I turned it off and tried getting back to sleep and just as the start of my dream felt like it was going to get interesting my alarm went off.

I got up, stiff and in some pain. I think the topple off the bike yesterday jarred something badly in my upper back and it’s pretty sore. Some exercise couldn’t loosen it up either. It’s the kind of sharp pain that stings with almost any movement and will be annoying all day. But I feel good, energised by seeing all the crazy kids and their stories this morning. Now I’m waiting at immigration for my 90-day report.

Today I’m grateful for:

Right now (whilst I’m at school) I’m grateful for the light rain and the anticipation of seeing how well (or more accurately, how badly) the tape on the gutter is working out. I hope it can at least hold some of the water back. (Later – seems it didn’t rain at home!)
I’m also grateful to the neighbours who swept up the grass that I had cut in the road. I was too stuffed to do it at the time and I was surprised this morning to see it all gone!

The best thing about today was:

Feeling happy and wanted at school. I feel that students appreciate that I am close with and care about them and that whilst breaking down the student-teacher barrier they still have respect for me. 
I think some teachers don’t like my style in this way but it is something that helps me to enjoy the time that I am in school and I feel more closely connected with the kids than with other teachers. 
I mentioned this to Bruno yesterday, that I can’t connect with many other adults here because I find them and their lives boring and that the pleasure I get from being around the kids derives from their unpredictable energy and ideas. 
Sure, I miss being in that youthful state (minus the depression of course) so what better way to relive it than through the lives of my students?

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Recently whilst learning guitar, I’ve been playing along in the Yousician app for up to 30 minutes and then loading some of my favourite songs in Capo and playing the chords along with them so some days I might end up playing for 90 minutes or more.
Today I was getting frustrated with Yousician and not being able to play something until getting it right. Sometimes I feel like my fingers are working without me thinking and when I realise that I start thinking about it and then screw up!
Today I just couldn’t push through and wanted to stop. But after a minute or two I loaded some songs into Capo and after playing along to about five I started feeling more positive again. Like anything I guess, some days it’s pleasure and other days it’s pain.

Something I learned today?

I got a message from my old student Boss (the boy I took to the psychiatrist last semester). He messages me about once a week since he started at a new school but today surprised me by saying that he’s come back. I’m not sure why yet but I can guess maybe it was more stressful there. 
Our school is super relaxed in comparison with others and I think it doesn’t help prepare students for the tougher realities of life once they leave, even just to other local schools.
It’s good for me in that I don’t need to be so rigid either. 
Anyway, I’ll get his story soon enough no doubt.

What would I like to accomplish this week?

This week I hope to figure out the best way forward with using Quizizz in my classes, without having to change what I’ve already done. I think a clearer way forward will appear over time so that I tighten up my lessons overall.
I could set some targets for this or that but I think I’m doing well with all the little tasks I submit myself to every day without having to add too much more. 
I guess I’d like to get this tightness out of my upper back by the end of the week though by tomorrow would be preferable.
Maybe I could get down to under 80kg before bedtime this week. I’ve been slowly moving in that direction for the last week or two.

I took this picture because it makes no sense to me. Tattoo and bakery? And all I’ve ever seen there is a small of street food kra pao dishes! Maybe it doubles as a nifty trendy bread and tattoo shop in the evenings!?