No More However – 4th January 2024

There’s no more debating
The words that you’re stating
Broke down my defence
Pushed me off the fence
There’s no more however
I’ll live this truth forever
No more other hand
A line in the sand
Fighting the good fight
Confirming I am right

Having said that though
No! Tell me it ain’t so!


Today I’m feeling:

Positive and happy though also a little saddened at some circumstances that arose last night when Amy’s brother and girlfriend came to visit.  Things are happening in the family space that are a little upsetting for Amy and she is quite bothered by them.  It feels like another thing to push her away from Thailand unfortunately.

Today I’m grateful for:

Funfai again as this morning she presented me with a big bag of almonds. 

One of her quirks tickles me in that when she doesn’t know the answer to a question she says ‘I don’t know’.  This may not sound odd when written down but it is sometimes quite difficult to get people here to admit that they don’t know something.  Often they will just give some bullshit answer. 

I’m glad Funfair happily admits not knowing things though.  To me, that shows a desire to learn, or an acceptance that it is ok not to know everything.

The best thing about today was:

Teaching this extra (grade 10) class.  I found out in the morning it is a pretty good class including many of my old students so it was good to have some familiar faces there because that made me feel comfortable, which in turn made the other students comfortable too. 

I’d put together a quick reading and writing lesson in the morning and wondered if we would have enough time to do it but they pretty much breezed through it and were happy to be corrected on pronunciation.  It’s a stark contrast to my grade 7 class in the morning which was like herding cats as usual.  I enjoyed both classes in different ways. 

I’m quite happy to have taken on this extra class despite it meaning extra work for me.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I still didn’t get paid yet and had to beg money off Amy to put petrol in the car.  I’m down to 61 baht in the bank and 40 baht in my wallet.  I’m taking this as an opportunity to be frugal and make do with what I already have.  Except coffee.  That is on credit, thankfully, though I hate doing it.

Something I learned today?

In Switzerland, it’s illegal to own just one guinea pig because they’re social beings and get lonely.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

This morning Paen messaged me asking if she could come and join my class with the grade 7s.  The reason being that she is developing a friendship with Praew and wants to see if she will be her girlfriend. 

As I didn’t really have much planned for the class except some Quizizz and as I’d like to help Paen make a new friend or girlfriend I allowed her to come and sit and help a little too. 

Both Praew and Paen were happy to have this chance to be together.  Paen has struggled with friendships with her peers so I’m hopeful that making friends with a younger girl could work out for her.

Are you a doer, a maker or a leader?

Out of these three choices, I reckon I’m a doer.  I’ve always been an advocate for doing something, anything and I still follow that line of thinking.

My doing recently involves the challenge of presenting a poem every day.  I’m not sure how long I have been doing it now, maybe it’s two years already.

Also, trying to go back and add information to this blog about the past is a monumental and endless task which is the kind of stupid thing I like to get into.

Previously, in the absence of anyone else doing it, I started the record label, organised shows and tours and shared the information to help others to do the doing too.

Part of that crosses over to being a maker, as I made part of the Sydney/Australia/Asia music scene and am still involved in that, though not as relentlessly as before.

As a teacher, I hope that I am helping in making responsible adults and this also crosses over to being a leader.

I don’t play well with adults and have no desire to lead them, to lead a work team or the like but seem to have fallen into being a de facto leader for my students.


I took this picture because Nudee and her friends were trying to make TikTok videos after they’d finished my classwork. I was outside the classroom and this picture was actually taken through a highly tinted window (it’s very difficult to see inside with the naked eye) so I was surprised that the picture even came out so well. Ironically, the girls were all too embarrassed to have their picture taken and I grabbed this shot before they put their hands up in front of the camera. Nudee likes to wear colourful contact lenses which make her eyes look amazing. She also has a lip-piercing which is prohibited by the school rules (hence the mask) but I have seen many kids flouting it recently and I like it.

Senyawa – Alkisah – 21st February 2021

Indonesia’s intense, vital experimental duo Senyawa release their newest album Alkisah via a decentralised worldwide co-operative effort. An explosive, exploratory trip through Senyawa’s unique sonics, Alkisah represents these masters of unpredictable experimental music pushing their own boundaries. 

Instrumentalist Wukir Suryadi performs on his homemade instruments, created from bamboo and other natural materials, offering a rarely explored link between the ancient, traditional, mystical music of South-East Asia and the contemporary avant-garde. 

Vocalist Rully Shabara (also of tenzenmen recording artists Zoo) mines the human voice for its strangest and most challenging sounds, chanting, yowling and throat-singing like a chorus of demons in one song and an arcane, chattering machine in the next. 

Rhythms skitter and crash around like gamelan, punctuated with trashcan drums or bulging plumbing percussion, while doomier moments (such as “Istana”) crush with seething waves of distortion and Rully’s mesmeric growls (a mix of Javanese, Bahasa, and other Indonesian languages). The record lurches from urgency to apocalypse, a twisting and twining story with animist mythology and hellish atmospherics. 

ALKISAH can be translated as ONCE UPON A TIME. 

This is that time.

SENYAWA 
Wukir Suryadi: Custom Instruments 
Rully Shabara: Lyrics, Vocals 

Recorded and Mixed by Iwan Karak 
At Eloprogo, September 2020 

Soundscape of Eloprogo recorded by tesaran 

Artworks by Sopeng 

Minang proverbs on “Kabau” compiled by Taufik Adam


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my tooth guard. Without it, I would grind my teeth down to the gums. I think my neck problem comes from doing this too. Maybe it’s because I drink too much coffee but I sleep well most of the time.


I met Bruno for coffee this morning and enjoyed a little ride around on the way there and I felt in a good mood when I arrived. As ever, we discussed our thoughts on teaching in Thailand, our frustrations with it and our solutions for dealing with it. We both feel much the same. We try our best because we want the best for the kids. We work hard for them whether they appreciate it or not. If we can make a difference to one student then our stress has been worth it.

Let’s hope I can remember this with my class tomorrow! Haha!

More importantly for me I brought up my feelings about George. I wasn’t sure how much to say to Bruno as George had said that they were good friends before but I could feel that something wasn’t quite there.

As it turns out Bruno has much the same problems with him. That he’s hiding something, or putting on a facade of happiness which makes us feel like he’s insincere, his patriarchal behaviour and upset when people don’t do what he wants or behave the way he would like. Neither of us dislike him but both feel less need to do things together (with him).

I always liked George for his positive and outgoing personality. He does deal with some things very well but if it is a facade then it puts sincerity in doubt.

I talked with Bruno about how we both feel that we know about our own weaknesses even when we can tell others the best way to deal with something, it can be very difficult to do as you say for yourself. I used the analogy of ‘the doctor who smokes’. And perhaps this has some similarities to my feelings about George. I know the way I should be with him – to let it go, don’t overthink etc but it keeps nagging at me unavoidably.

I also realise that I don’t say he is insincere or arrogant but that is the way I perceive him. That’s all I can control – but how? This is a difficulty for me.

We also discussed how Bruno had mentioned before that I seemed to have peace of mind but I explained that’s not so – as ‘the doctor who smokes’, I know the way to be but struggle so much to achieve it. I said that what my difficulty is is accepting who I am and why I am the way I am. When I’m happy – such as last Monday – nothing can hurt me but when I’m not quite right – such as Friday – I just can’t find that acceptance – though I do generally know that the feeling will go away again. At least I know now that I can accept myself – this actually feels like a recent event though.

And it’s weird looking back at old diary entries, seeing that even 30 years ago, I knew all these things, could say all the right things yet I still haven’t found real peace of mind. I felt good talking about these things and somewhat validated that it wasn’t just me being a bad friend to George and there was someone else having exactly the same thoughts as me.

Keeping up with tenzenmen – 31st May 2013

Investment

So, last financial year tenzenmen made a loss of about $20,000.  I say a loss but that is just in business and financial terms.  Truth be told the correct wording should be that tenzenmen made a $20,000 investment – investment in the music that we love and wish to share.  Obviously this kind of investment is not sustainable so I’m here now asking for your help!  No crowd funding/sourcing type of help, not asking for handouts or donations (though I guess I might one day!).  All you have to do is purchase something!  If you scroll (hell, maybe even read) through to the end of this newsletter there’s a deal there to sweeten things for you!

In the pipeline: Golden Blonde, Ted Danson With Wolves, Kah Roh Shi, SMG/Terlarang split, Bone, Seahorse Divorce, Gravitsapa (from the Ukraine!), Black Wire double album, P.K. 14, Alpine Decline, Maybe Mars back catalogue vinyl releases (!),  Dear Eloise, Rice Corpse, The All Seeing Hand, Dead and more I’m forgetting!

Recent posts at tenzenmen.com

zhang shouwang on point
god bows to math australasian tour april 2013
long weekend with zoo
li daiguo 7″ special for record store day (april 20th 2013)

Seahorse Divorce (album launch)
all shows with Stockades

Friday 21 June – Sun Distortion, Brisbane AA
Saturday 22 June – Blackwire Records, Sydney AA
Sunday 23 June – Yours & Owls, Wollongong AA
Monday 24 June – Potbelly Bar, Canberra 18+
Tuesday 25 June – Evolution Lounge, Mildura 18+
Wednesday 26 June – The Metro, Adelaide 18+
Thursday 27 June – Footscray House Show, Melbourne AA
Friday 28 June – The Reverence, Melbourne 18+
Saturday 29 June – The Grand Poobah, Hobart

23rd Aug 2021 – Most of the items in the pipeline eventuated and I continued losing investing money for a while longer! Actually, even today.

Keeping up with tenzenmen – 16th February 2013

Why are you receiving this email? Probably because you downloaded something free from the tenzenmen bandcamp! Feel free to unsubscribe but please don’t register complaints indicating you were never asked to join this list 🙂

Tough Life
After a six week break around October last year it’s been really tough to get back into the swing of things and it’s only now I’m starting to get back on top of it all. There is a LOT in the pipeline for this year (and as you can see below there’s been quite a few releases already!) so I think this newsletter will probably be quarterly this year to save me a little more time! Keep up with the latest news in all the usual ways – at the website, facebook etc.

Skip Skip Ben Ben – Sacrifice Mountain Hills CD
Out now!
Ben Ben (Boyz & Girl) heads out with her new band, release and familiar dreamy fuzz-pop.

Cartavetro – Here It Comes, Tramontane! LP+CD
Out now!
Italian DIY indie rockers recruited Mike Watt for help on this great slab of vinyl.

Fun – 1/3 7″
Out now!
First of 3 7″s from our fiendish noise rock drinking buddies in Finland.

The Gar – The City of Burning Identities CD
Out now!
The Gar are legends in Beijing and finally produce a new 6 track EP for your listening pleasure.

Chui Wan – White Night CD
Out now!
Experimental psyche rockers from Beijing with their debut release.

Nick Van Breda/zzzounds – Split 7″
Out now!
Two super famous Sydney rockers go acoustic for a clear seven inches. Also available in black.

Noise from China- 2xCD
Out now!
Only the 2nd ever collection of experimental noise from China, compiled by legendary organiser Yan Jun from Subjam.

Dear Eloise – I’ll Be Your Mirror wood backed 7″
This sold out on the day of release but you can still listen and download digital

Daighila/Grinding Halt – Split 7″
Out now!
Malaysian screamo legends Daighila team up with the Netherlands noise monsters Grinding Halt

Birdstriking – CD
Out now!
Debut album from Beijing Indie punks Birdstriking – vinyl soon available thru Anton Newcombe’s A label.

Mr Graceless – The Tree Ever Green CD
Out now!
Dynamic Beijing indie that sold out quickly – now back in stock.

White+ – CD
Out now!
Beijing experimentalists with one of the most appreciated CD releases of 2012 – easily the biggest seller so far!

X is Y – Never Sever/LP CD
Out now!
Double disc from this mathy Shanghai trio – brings to mind Pinback and other Rob Crow genius.

Bamodi – Smell Heaven LP
Out now!
Crazy Japanese influenced Perth punks. FFO: Rudimentary Peni

Quiet Steps – Dying Livers/Secular LP+CD
Out now!
Brisbane’s Quiet Steps come from a long line of Brisbane indie bands wowing Aussie ears over the last 5 years.

Michael Crafter/SMG – split 7″
Out now!
Malaysian grindcore legends meet Aussie semi-legends! Mad thrashing!

Stellarium – CD
Out now!
Debut album from Singapore freak out psychedelic fuzzlords!

Eurpides Berserker – digital discography
Out now!
Made when Dave Drayton (Milhouse, zzzounds etc) was just a baby, banging out ideas quick smart!

Fat City/LuXinPei – Super Split CD
Available now!
Two exciting Chinese experimental groups across 2 discs. FFO: xNOBBQx, Breakdance the Dawn

New photographs
Ted Danson With Wolves at Black Wire
My pictures are pretty much up to date these days!
Check them out and post some comments to let me know what you think.

You can find all my pix here.

Packaging options
Maybe you didn’t know that tenzenmen also stocks Stumptown Arigato packs for CD, tape and 7″!
Plenty of stock available again now!

This month’s special

Hinterlandt – Migration Motion Movement
Get yourself 50% off Hinterlandt’s beautiful CD Migration, Motion, Movement. 3 long pieces that never sit still taking you on the journey of the artist moving from Germany to Australia. Enter the code ‘mmm’ at check out!
Offer valid til 1st April 2013.