Tag: relationships

Maybe One Day – 29th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Maybe one day
I’ll laugh on my birthday
Devour the cake you made
As you got drunk
Waiting for the sponge to rise

Maybe one day
We’ll be lost in love again
Taking photos in the park
Fresh-faced
And newly dyed hair

Maybe one day
I’ll bring flowers to your work
And your colleagues
Will look at you with longing
To be just as loved

Maybe one day
To scratch the travel itch
We’ll be taken away
In different directions

Maybe one day
All the plans I made
Will be forgotten
Just lists on fading paper
A reminder

Maybe one day
We’ll look at each other
And celebrate together
This journey made
Surrounded by our comforts

Maybe one day
The cats long gone
I’ll push you along
Complaining about my knee
And we’ll chat about the future

Submitted to the Weekly Prompts Challenge and inspired by When You’re Gone by Colleen Looseleaf

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired but was able to push through to do some exercise again – another AI-generated one that I ended up running through twice as it is quite short.  My abs were burning but feel ok now.

It’s super humid this morning which is energy-sapping and my first class were difficult to keep engaged and under control but I didn’t let it bother me too much.

Nomsen was messaging her mum online and then burst into tears for some reason.

After she calmed down I told her that she shouldn’t be talking with anyone outside the class during the lesson and that if she does some study it will take her mind off things.

She complained of a headache and I know she finds English too difficult but I just tried to push her to not give up.

Phu was also sleepy in the class and he also struggles with English.  The kids told me that he was up late working last night but that’s not my problem.  I guide and encourage him as best as I can but expect very little from him.

Today I’m grateful for:

My 4-hour break between classes during the day.  It gave me lots of time to catch up on some things that I wanted to read and some writing too.  I won’t have much free time for the next two days so it’s just as well.

The best thing about today was:

Hmm…nothing stands out in particular but it was a pleasurable and consistent day that I enjoyed very much.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I haven’t managed to get to my room to play guitar for a couple of nights now and I really want to.  

I’m doing a bit more lesson planning in the evenings because I’m worried that I don’t have enough things prepared for all these new classes – and I’ve hamstrung myself a little by asking the students what they want to learn about rather than just giving them canned lessons.

Something I learned today?

I talked with S* again today about what she told me on Monday about sometimes showering with her stepdad when she’s tired.  And she confirmed it and the way she described it does seem to be completely innocent and is not some kind of regular thing. Like a naturist family or something like that.

I warned her to be careful who she tells about this and she said she understood that and only mentions it to me because she trusts me.

Because of her exposure to Western culture, she considers herself only 10% Thai.  Maybe as a Westerner, she was testing to see how normal this situation was.  I told her it was pretty unusual.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

As Amy flew to Bangkok to visit Nong Mai and Yaya today and will be away until Sunday I have to find my own food.  No problem, I thought, as the market would be on at the University.

As I knew that Baipad’s mum was still away, I asked if she and her sister wanted to come with me to get some food there and so I picked them up and we drove up to the Uni but because most of the students had gone home for the end of the semester the market was cancelled.

We drove around and eventually found a cheap Korean shop to eat at.

When was the last time I felt a sense of freedom?

The one time that I felt it really noticeably was on my trips to China.

On my first visits, I was surprised to see how free the environment was and I likened it to being at a large free music festival with folks just getting on with what they needed to do.  It was a far cry from my corporate work environment and the nanny state society of Australia.

Of course, for me, I was a tourist and enjoyed the freedom of being on holiday but I sensed it amongst the people in general there.  For them, it was probably just business as usual and normal.

I guess we tend to see more freedom outside of our own environments as we count every negative against us with more weight and take for granted a lot of other things.  It’s a reason to consider that one culture cannot be better than another.  Just different.

I feel this freedom living here in Thailand too but do understand that it is only in comparison with my experiences elsewhere before.

I’m really anti-stupidity laws such as jaywalking, which was enforced in Sydney CBD with a brutal crackdown and over-the-top fines.  On my first trip to China, I remember watching as pedestrians grouped together and slowly forced the cars on the road to stop and let them cross.

I imagine it is much different there now, with probably fifty times the number of cars on the road since but it showed me that people don’t need a law to counter stupidity.  If you are hit by a car whilst trying to cross the road you only have yourself to blame.

Same with holes in the sidewalk.  If you are not looking where you are going it’s your fault if you fall in.  Don’t blame the folks that made the hole.

Yes, things could be better and safer but not everything needs a law and its enforcement.  I mention enforcement as in Thailand there are many laws but they are laxly enforced.  Sometimes, this makes sense.

Which place from my childhood do I most fondly remember?

Without doubt that would be Forest Cottage – my home from aged 9 until about 20.

Most particularly my bedroom, where a lot of partying went on along with all the other ups and downs that teenagers have to struggle through.  It was my space to invite others in or shut them out.

I took this picture last week because… well, it was a pretty evening as I rode home from No Name and the reflection in the lake attracted me enough to stop.

No Left Feet – 31st January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 14 Comments

Don’t ask me to dance
I’ll step on your toes
Elbow your stomach
Watch out for your nose

My rhythm is off
I seem to be shaking
It’s a herky-jerky
I seem to be making

Don’t stare and laugh
Give me half a chance
I’m plenty good at other things
But never at this dance

Submitted to dVerse – dance

Today I’m feeling:

A little vague and blurry but positive.  I feel like I could easily sleep if given the opportunity. 

Despite being tired and hungry when I got home last night and then only a little to satisfy myself I found that I was still reading comics at 11.30 and then it took me a fair while to actually go to sleep. 

The morning alarm was a bit of a shock and for a brief moment, I contemplated snoozing it but made it up instead.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finally being able to crack the last part of the song that I was struggling to complete on guitar.

The best thing about today was:

My small grade 10 class again today who were a pleasure to teach and just talk with in general as the topic was about relationships.  My lesson was more focused on romantic relationships but many of the points cross over to any kind of relationship. 

As the English level of most of the class is quite poor I depended on the two good speakers to help translate some points and I could see that they were all able to understand to one degree or another.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I got a message today from Nancy about not signing out when leaving school, which I haven’t done for about 2 years now.  She said ‘they’ would reduce my wages.  If they reduce my wages anymore I’ll have to start paying them to work!  She asked me to message Kru Tang, which I did and she asked me to sign out and I said that I would.  She didn’t mention anything about reducing wages though.  Let’s see what happens next month.

Something I learned today?

Last year the USA beat all previous records for sales of weapons to the rest of the world.  When is the rest of the world going to wake up to the fact that the USA wants more war to make more money?

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I was pleased to see a couple of my usually lazy students pushing themselves a little more today so I made sure to praise them with personal messages this evening.

I took these pictures, as I mentioned last week because Cap was sitting here but decided to get up as soon as I got down to take a picture of him, so I took this series as he walked towards me.

Lesson In Peace – 24th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The art of war is a lesson in peace
The politics of life to make the violence cease
The finest swords will all eventually rust
To build a legion is to gain their trust

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and positive though I have a nagging tiredness throughout my body.  This could possibly be from pushing myself too much with exercise but the benefits of it outweigh this.  Some of the things going on in the family are getting me down a little.  This is connected with cultural differences but it’s hard not to judge a situation when something is so clearly unfair.  No details to share here as yet.  Perhaps if and when the situation resolves or is in the past.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding the candy lady outside of school.  Miyor and KhaoFang were walking around the park after classes and I bumped into them and they offered me a bag of candy of a type that I’d never seen before.  I took one and it was tasty so I asked where they got them and they pointed to one of the stalls so I went to investigate and there was a cornucopia there!  It was also a pick and mix so I picked out a couple of each to try the range.  I didn’t eat any yet – I’m saving them for the weekend. 

I was laughing to myself today about it because it feels just like when I was at school as a teenager.  I always skipped lunch, saving my money to buy records instead.  Then I would scrounge pennies off friends and buy candy from the van that pulled up in the playground every lunchtime.

The best thing about today was:

Getting my work permit so quickly sorted that I had time to grab another coffee before my class started.  I guess it doesn’t take long when you’re handing over 6,000 baht.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After making copies of my work permit I headed over to the office.  It was only while I was there that I discovered that I have to fill out the visa application and pay another 2,000 baht for the visa when I take it to immigration next week.  I thought that whole process was already done when I was at immigration at the end of last year but it seems that I was just on a bridging visa.  Amy was not impressed to hear this, especially as I don’t even have 2,000 baht left this month.

Something I learned today?

This evening I found out that the 6,000 baht will get refunded next month.  Woohoo!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sat and helped a couple of students again, taking the time to work with them and encourage them.

Every morning now, when I arrive at school, I join Baipad, Jan and Apple and talk with them for a few minutes.  Sometimes it’s a struggle to get them to look away from their phones but slowly they are opening up and chatting a little bit.  I can especially feel that Apple is more relaxed now to speak English.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 4. Don’t Start A Relationship If You’re Not in Love. I’ve done this more than once. You kind of like someone and think: “We might as well give it a shot.” Not a good idea. You’re either in love, or you are not. Don’t fool yourself. It’s not fair to you and the other person.

The difficulty with this is when growing up and learning about love.  Our societies don’t emotionally prepare us as children for the consequences of love.  It’s quite noticeable here in Chiang Rai, Thailand that a fair percentage of teenagers are not so much into the idea of romantic relationships yet.  They might have urges and desires but many are still learning about how to make good friendships amongst themselves.  I used to think that this was somewhat of a downside to the kid’s development and that they were growing up too slowly but now I see it as a benefit.  In the West we are not aware of all the privileges that we have just by circumstance, to be able to grow up so quickly, whether mature or not.

In my own experience, I thought I was in love many times as a teenager but I was just in love with the idea of love, without knowing what it really was.  My first relationships were rough on my partners as I had no clue how to treat them, having been told through society that chocolates and flowers could fix anything.  It wasn’t until my mid-20s, meeting Bronwyn that I first felt what I consider to be true love.  And then even that was not enough to keep us together.

It’s way too easy to say ‘Don’t fool yourself.’  We fool ourselves all the time without knowing.  We do have to go through the process – love, lose and learn.  Not many people get things right the first time.

Now I try to teach my students to guard themselves somewhat, to protect themselves from the huge emotional twists and turns of young love.  When they break up, to encourage them not to dwell on something that wasn’t meant to be.  To stop feeling like it is the end of the world.  But I know, it feels just like that and words are sometimes little comfort.

I took this picture because this is an unusual sight, to find both our cats sitting on the same mat like this.

The Retreat – 17th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Shacked up with a slacker
Who said our gold was in the hills
A guitar strapped to his back
To sing of other people’s thrills

The words are spat with bitterness
The war is raging in his head
But anger without direction
Is replaced by apathy instead

The party starts at home
With our disaffected friends
With the battle in our songs
Forgotten when it ends

Stirred into one final action
When the pipe of peace got broke
Understanding that our pain
Is only countered by the smoke

So it was, we came and went
We conquered nothing at all
We disappeared without a trace
Into the bottom of the bowl

Nearer heaven we rested heads
Too tired to take our chance
Extinguished, all those little fires
Where we no longer dance

inspired by ‘The Slacker’ in Zachary Mexico’s book China Underground

Today I’m feeling:

A little better again though still not quite right in the sinuses. Exercise got me going and I felt in a good mood for the whole day.

Today I’m grateful for:

The vegetarian food from Oasis and dessert snacks from the snack shop. Hopefully, there are snack boxes left over again tonight.

The best thing about today was:

Teaching my grade 10 class again. It’s a good feeling to have more mature students who try and want to understand more.

It did get me feeling a little like asking to spread out the classes between the foreign teachers so that not all the juniors are dumped on me and David. I know asking this is going to upset George though as he refuses to teach the younger ones, but it feels a little unfair not to split them more evenly.

I would be less tired at the end of the week and David is always talking of quitting because of the stress of his junior classes. I love those kids but I also value my health.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Another day of going with the flow mostly.

Something I learned today?

As I teach my grade 10s about relationships I’m learning a little about each of them and their personalities. Toon told me she is a people pleaser whilst Milk doesn’t care if a boy is interested in her. They joked that between them they make a balanced human being.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave some leftover snacks from last night’s ceremony to some students this morning.

I drove Amy and me home and back to the city to pick up snack boxes and food for tonight’s ceremony.

I took this picture because Tokyo was pretty relaxed. I still have to be very careful with her though. She can bite really quickly and with no apparent provocation.

Utopia Around The Corner – 10th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We should be living in a paradise by now
Yet wrapped in realities that ground our flight
Utopia hides, beyond the hillside brow
Amidst the chaos, in a darkened night

Around the corner, this dream quietly shines
A realm where peace sings a hopeful tune
Utopia beckons and yet this hope reminds
The journey will not be completed soon

In that elusive place, worries disband,
A sanctuary where souls find their rest,
Utopia calls from its promised land,
An oasis waiting, only found in death

Today I’m feeling:

Not too bad considering I woke up wanting to sleep more.  The abs exercises hurt as I was doing them and I can feel all the work that the muscles around the rest of my body had to do because my abs are still weak.  I’m now pretty convinced that my weak abs and connections to the hips are the cause of most of my body stress/weakness, down to my calves and up to my neck.  Slowly slowly.

Today I’m grateful for:

The Downy fabric spray that is trying to counter the smell of cat spray on the sofa and isn’t quite succeeding.

The best thing about today was:

My grade 10 class who were interested in learning, in the topic and discussing it as best as they could in English but mostly in Thai.  Having a keen, attentive class is a joy.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Yesterday I got a message that today was a meeting for the foreign teachers to meet with the director but I sent a message to Kru Tang saying that I had class at that time and she was fine with that.

Later I got an assuming message from Nancy saying that it was a bit sad that I didn’t go and that I felt differently to the team!  FFS!

I told her that I had planned my lessons and that this one was quite important for my students this time and that if it was a different class then it might have been possible.  There was no reply after that.

That has upset me a little but I’m happy knowing that I’m doing the right thing for my students.

Something I learned today?

Today is Nomsen’s birthday.  Every day seems to be someone’s birthday.  Nomsen told me that she turns 14 but I’m not sure if she was counting correctly as another student in the grade above told me it was her 14th birthday today.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I comforted little Nicha who got reprimanded yesterday for having earphones in during class yesterday.  Instead of just being asked to take them out the teacher made a big deal of it and if she gets in any more trouble they’ll kick her out of school.  That seems a bit harsh considering what some of the other kids get up to.  Understandably she was a bit down.

I started my lessons on relationships for the grade 10s as Toon in that class requested it.  I made them Thai translations so that they could understand better the meaning behind the content.  In this case, I found that I wanted their understanding more than just using English.  Toon said she was happy with the lesson, so I’m glad about that too.

Tonaor reminded me that yesterday I told her I would give her a candy today. She caught me just as I was about to leave and I honoured my word, went to the car to get another candy and gave it to her. She was happy.

I took this picture because, for some reason as I approached the hospital to get some medicine, I was impressed by its stature. I’ve been here many times and not thought much about how it looks. Perhaps it was because it was approaching golden hour and the air turns a special colour.

Zeigen, Schweigen – 28th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

What this is, is impossible to say
Inscriptions to this page
Words stated, yet left unsaid
The knowing of the sage?

So much more was said
When so much was omitted
After all that had been read
And to memory committed

By appearance, the truth unseen
Let me show you inside
Scratched upon this canvas
There’s nothing left to hide

4th Jun 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango

Today I’m feeling:

Great.  Last day before five days off.  Pushed through arm and chest exercises this morning that really tested my endurance.  My muscles ache and feel good. 

Happy to be at school amongst all the happy kids, though many have skipped today after all the excitement of sports day yesterday.

I left pretty quickly to sit and catch up with coffee.  Enjoying being here but also want to get back to the party atmosphere.  Everything is easy.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady who served me in the 7/11 this morning.  It’s a job, someone has to do it and she did her job.  Thank you.

The best thing about today was:

Everything.  It’s been a really nice day.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Yesterday I appropriated Fah’s phone whilst she was in the stands and I wandered off taking multiple random photos just to fill up her phone.  I gave it back after ten minutes or so and she shook her head at all the pictures now on her phone. 

So today, to let her get me back I unlocked my phone and gave it to her whilst I was playing volleyball with her friends.  I got it back about 15 minutes later and forgot about it until I got home.  

I’ve just spent the last 30 minutes scrolling through 100s of photos, deleting half, considering the rest and wondering what to do with them all.  There are some nice shots in there, though many were just of Fah, Jet and Mai messing around pulling faces and not many of me and the ones of me make me look old, which I am (but don’t want to be!). 

Phone cameras are so good these days that it’s easy to zoom in and see every line, wrinkle or sag on the skin!

Something I learned today?

Australia is wider than the moon, with a diameter from east to west of almost 4000km!  But this is only when considering diameter and not land area.  If you flattened the moon out it would actually be wider.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I spent 100 baht (of my last 700 baht in the bank) on some wafer snacks for my students’ Christmas party today.  I personally handed them out to everyone and wished them a Merry Christmas.

After getting home I let Amy take a nap and took myself off to my room so that she wasn’t disturbed.

As I was walking around the school I caught up with Baipad, Jan and Apple twice and Baipad was sleeping both times.  The second time I dragged her up for a walk and sat down elsewhere to talk with her one-on-one. 

She’s a sweet introverted kid who is resisting the responsibilities of growing up.  I gave her words of encouragement and sent her back to her friends, and probably more sleep.

How did my relationships change this year?

My relationships this year have been 90% with my students and 10% with anyone else.  My relationship with my students evolves over the course of the year. 

The kids I taught at the beginning of the year I don’t teach so often now and we have all relaxed into a happy friendly environment in classes. 

With the new students I got in May we have all gotten to know each other to varying degrees in that time.  These are the relationships I value highly these days.

My relationship with Amy changed slightly again this year as she returned to Chiang Rai from Australia. 

In most ways, we are back to what we were before she left.  We and our relationship with each other is very familiar.  It’s not boring but sometimes predictable.  That is somewhat of a comfort for me at this stage in my life. 

I think it is also for Amy but she still has the energy to consider going off and doing things and perhaps still looking to the future.  It’s not contentious for either of us, just a matter of fact of the different stages of our lives.

For future me

Jet took this picture of Fah and me showing the stereotype of the student-teacher relationship in Thailand.

Fighting For Freedom – 1st December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments

To have the freedom to question
Are not words that need to pass these lips
All belief is uncertain
And held far away from our fingertips

Freedom is found within the mind
And questions can be asked in silence
Share the meaning that we find
And remove the systems of violence

Submitted to #WDYS

Today I’m feeling:

Better after arriving at school this morning, the kids cheered me a little.

I struggled a little with getting up and exercising but once I got going it was ok. I ate extra yoghurt for breakfast too as I think that now I’m eating better because of Amy’s cooking I’m not actually eating enough. I seem to be losing weight quite easily; it feels a little too easy. I will try to eat a little extra today but must stick with healthy things.

Today I’m grateful for:

The free time I had today and also finishing early to watch some of the students practising for their sports day events (or just sitting around waiting for instructions and complaining a lot!). The kids are sure happier to spend less time in class.

The best thing about today was:

Some of my old grade 9 students saw me working in the small teacher’s room and came to chat. One of them, August (the girl who likes dance), was curious about what I was doing on my computer. 

I was translating one of my lessons about sexual abuse in Thailand into Thai because I will teach it again to my grade 10 class whose English isn’t so good and I want them to understand as much as possible. 

As she was reading the Thai translation I was quite happily surprised when she started reading it out in English, doing the translation in her head. She was then curious about the rest of the lesson and I went through it quickly with her, asking for her opinion on what is appropriate behaviour or not. 

She had finished the work in her own class, where she was supposed to be and so stayed and asked about what other lessons I was teaching, so I showed her one about relationships, which I had also got translations for and she then helped me find better words for students to understand. 

In the end, time was up but she was enjoying helping that she was reluctant to go.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sat and talked with the grade 7 student who reached out to me about mental health. His English is very good, much better than the rest of his class, and as a counterbalance to that, he can’t communicate as well in Thai! This is causing him some problems with making friends in his class.

He is also very thoughtful but sometimes he thinks too much and goes over things again and again. He is, thankfully, quite self-aware.

I gave him some suggestions and feel like he will be able to work things out though I think his abilities will mean that he will always feel a little separate from others.

What am I looking forward to this month?

The thing I look forward to most at the moment is being at school and I think this month will be a lot of fun, with having shorter classes and the kids excited about sport, Christmas and days off.

What is one thing I learned about myself this month?

I learned that I can still keep calm despite the reasonably big stresses of money and visa issues this month. I’ve learned to trust in myself and others and that things will turn out ok. This is a little different to how I might have been five or ten years past.

In Western countries, life can be quite rigid and your posture adapts accordingly. Things need to be known and in order for them to run smoothly.

In Thailand, I’ve learned that things rarely run smoothly but that everyone readily adapts without complaint. I’ve been learning this over the five years I’ve been here so that the problems that have occurred in the last month that might have been stressful before are more manageable now.

I took this picture from a video of the super naughty (and hilarious) KB hamming it up for the camera and her friends after fighting with me about doing work. It’s difficult to get angry with her because she is so funny and she does usually finish things with a push. She is also capable but just immature and lazy right now.

A Gift Is A Gift – 15th June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Can I keep the bullet you gave me
When you shot me through the heart?
Perhaps one day it will save me
To put back together what you ripped apart

Today I’m feeling:

Got up easily but woke up tired. The aircon worked last night and I was scared to make any changes to the settings so I woke up cold a couple of times!
By the time of my last class, I was feeling a little dizzy but I made it through well enough and got home to a message from the aircon people that they would come around 5pm. Result! 
They came and checked it out and will go off to find the price of the part they think needs replacing. They said there were ants inside part of the outside fan. That wouldn’t be surprising but also possibly bullshit. Whatever, I just want working aircon!

Today I’m grateful for:

In my search for food, I bumped into Boss and Safe from Utopia at the walking market and they told me there weren’t many stalls because the university is on a break now. So that’s probably why my fried fish lady has disappeared. 
I couldn’t find anything there so popped into Lotus’s and was grateful to find a plant-based pork belly microwave meal, buy two get one free. Perfect!

The best thing about today was:

I feel as if I was too busy to have anything that stands out above everything else as the best. I’ve just replayed the day in my mind and everything was fine and dandy and I was happy indeed. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Both my M1 classes were pretty chaotic with many kids sprawling themselves around on the floor like fallen Jenga puzzle pieces. It still strikes me as bizarre the differences in acceptable behaviours in schools in Thailand and England (at least from what I remember). The atmosphere in schools here is kinda nice but Im struggling to see how the kids are actually learning!

Something I learned today?

I watched two separate videos about the war in the Ukraine and both the content and the commentators were totally at odds with each other. One discussed the masses of destroyed tanks in Ukraine’s counter-offensive and the other saw Ukraine prepare to attack on Russian soil. It felt like neither side’s commenters knew about the possibility of there being other narratives and as someone who hasn’t been following too closely, it’s difficult to know what to believe. Maybe that’s the point.

How can I be kinder to myself?

I’m pretty kind to myself already. At 55 I think I’m finally over my angsty teenage phase. I’m just getting started on real adult life.

I took this picture because when a student is not concentrating and looking at their phone I will ask them to hand it over and sometimes take as many pictures as I can with it to fill up their free space and they have to go back and delete all the photos. This was one of about 50 photos I took on Tulip’s phone today. She was a good sport about it even after finding that she actually had run out of space.

The Out-Group – 4th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There are no two ways about it
When you’re swimming in the soup
There’s no chance to doubt it
You are in – in the out-group

There can be nothing left to nuance
No greys amongst white and black
Every side gets what it wants
And there’s no turning back

Journalists need experts as badly as experts need journalists.

from Freakonomics

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and lazy
Today I’m grateful for:
Thinking that the power adaptor I had to buy was 1600 baht but turned out to be 1200 baht which made me feel better about still having to spend this large amount of money.
The best thing about today was:
Feeling good being in classes and around my students. They bring me joy and frustration and I love them all. What a privilege to watch these boys and girls slowly adapt themselves as they develop into young men and women.
What relationships have you let go of?
The ones that take up too much of my energy. I know my tribe and who they are or even will be when I meet them. At times I’ve had to make acquaintances outside my tribe but trying to make them into deeper friendships doesn’t work out for me. I choose not to adapt to ways I find dismal and accepted as the norm. And from within my tribe, there are people of all different varieties and those that weren’t of a genuine nature were left behind also.

I took this picture because I went to the weed shop to buy some gummies for tomorrow’s bike ride

Duk Dik – 20th June 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Always active, nervous twitching
Under the skin, blood is itching
Actions precede thought
Which evaporate to nought
Leaving all around you bitching

11th Sept 2023 – In Thai ‘duk dik’ means constantly moving around. This phrase can be used for my students in most of my classes.

The highs and lows I have known have turned me inward to the point where I’ll never feel anything close to normal. I don’t feel isolated, I don’t want in… There’s no confession to make, there’s no truth burning to come ripping out of me… I will always make relationships with people an approximation of a relationship. I think that’s better. I think things are more beautiful when you’re on the outside.

Henry Rollins

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to find the books I want to read from Dasa Books in Bangkok or even able to order from overseas using Amazon.