I don’t know how I manage to do it
No one wants to see me through it
All I ever got were questions to which I could not reply
‘Do you love me?’, ‘Say you do’, “I wanna know why?’
It doesn’t matter who started this affair
All that matters is that we still care
Although all is over and is said and done
Don’t look at me as though I’m the only one
There were things I could never explain to you
I didn’t think I was getting through
Now I just want you to remain a friend
And we can be like that to the end

1st July 2023 – This must have been about Zoe from Northampton, whom I had met in the summer (in 83?) when she was on holiday with her family. We wrote to each other and sometimes talked to each other on the phone and at one point she came and stayed for a few days. During that time, I had my first sexual experiences though I remained a virgin as we were both afraid of her getting pregnant.
The distance between teenage lovers was too much for me to deal with and perhaps I also, deludedly, believed I could do better. I couldn’t.