The future is behind me
Invisible to the eye
The past keeps coming
Towards me until I die

Understanding is backwards
Yet life is straight ahead
In the end, it’s all done
When it’s all been said

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Today I’m feeling:

A little edgy due to lack of sleep.  I kept waking up whilst having wild and unusual dreams.  I forget their story but have kept the feeling as I woke.  It’s a little disconcerting. Leg exercise and stomach stretching was good and easy.  My shoulders are feeling a little better but not sure that they will be fully ok before next week when I’d like to get back to arm and shoulder exercises again.

Today I’m grateful for:

The teachers who helped me with some little things today, such as finding a stapler and staples in the mess of the teacher’s room and sending the student list so that I could print out the student names for my new class.

I’m also grateful to my past self for downloading lots of useful English workbooks in the past and finding something useful to use for my new class.  I already have too many ideas and I haven’t even met them yet or know what their skill levels are.  I’ll soon find out though – first class tomorrow.

The best thing about today was:

An interesting comment from Kru Karn when I expressed concern for one of my students that she looks after.  She off-handedly said that most teachers don’t care that much about the students, implying that I do.  I don’t know if she was congratulating or criticising but I took it as a matter of pride.  As an average, untrained English teacher I make it a point to at least care about the students and the job that I’m employed to do.

A late update as I’ve just hopped into bed with delectable-smelling clean sheets and anticipating this, I used the expensive shower gel that smells like glitter and glamour. I’m soft and snug, smelling of champagne!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My grade 7 class was a little out of control, still in holiday mode.  I have the feeling it will be like this until the end of the semester with this grade.  I didn’t push them too hard today, just prepping them for the real work on Friday.

Something I learned today?

The Ancient Romans used to drop a piece of toast into their wine for good health, which is why we ‘raise a toast’.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

After my grade 10 students had completed their work for me I helped them with a speech that they had to do for another class later today.  I recorded the speech myself so that they could copy my pronunciation and I sat with them as they practiced and gave them tips.

If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

Somehow I wonder if I might relax a little knowing this.

Without knowing this, of course, I may die suddenly tomorrow.  I should relax now!

Would I keep working?  I enjoy what I’m doing right now but with a known time limit what else could I do in the meantime?  Would travelling the world feel satisfactory or would it just feel meaningless?  Do I even know how to enjoy myself anymore!

I think perhaps I would go travelling but on a nostalgia trip and also to catch up with old friends and have one last conversation.

I don’t think I would just fuck everything off and spend the time decadently.  Maybe a little!