More Sugar – 18th October 2021

Little girl, lost in her thoughts
Searching for the why
Struggles on, trapped inside
Whilst the world passes by

No answers, questions repeating
What purpose being?
Everyone else in happiness
Is the illusion she is seeing

Tell yourself, forgive yourself
And be kind to your heart
Get back up on your horse
And every day, just start

The way is forward, moving on
Learning from the past
It’s a cliche, but live each day
As if it was your last

A true story of a girl whose name translates as Sugar
Submitted to Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge – Moving On


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for our mask supply so we can change them often and try to stay safe.


It felt like a busy weekend but I notice a calmness within me these days. Before, I felt like I have to do this and do that and get it done. I still have things to do but I have a confidence that they will get done and don’t feel any stress to get them out of the way.

Perhaps I know about all the things I have lined up in the future – things that may keep me occupied for another lifetime or two. Yes, I want to start fiddling around with music again – it will happen when the time is right.

Perhaps this pandemic has taught me to slow down a little. Without it, I’m sure I would be busy organising new things to be involved in. A situation such as this is not so bad timing for me. I did a lot and achieved many things up until the pandemic. It’s easy for me to sit back and relax a bit.

I hope that others come out the other side with renewed energy and can pick up where things were in their lives and the state of their societies.

I had a long talk with Oh’s girlfriend Namtan on Friday. She struggles with anxiety and depression, so I told her my story. Something I said hit me quite unexpectedly.

I said that Amy was lucky that the chemicals in her brain were capable of making her positive most of the time. I said to Namtan that we are not like that – we are always questioning things and searching for meaning. It’s just the way we are. And I have accepted that. It’s not an option anymore to try to be something you’re not.

I’ve known this all along but without resolution until recently. Namtan is 28. I told her not to give up. Every day is a struggle but we are capable of digging ourselves out of the mental holes we created until now.

It was nice to be able to offer advice, though I think perhaps I overwhelmed her with too much information.

We talked a lot about books too. She’s a librarian and an avid reader. I think that’s a good start to get on the right track.

I had some stomach bug for most of the weekend and lost a kilogram in weight. Somehow, I managed to push through the abs routine each morning, though. I can see a definite change in my belly fat. I’m actually starting to like the way I look again.

The Week That Was – 21st January 1979

We got that attitude! – 19th May 2020

I am so happy and grateful to have our cat Tigger in our lives. He’s a tough cat and been through a lot of tough times and now he is happily with us here in Thailand. It’s great to see him happy.

To-do list

  • Install Zoom at home ✅
  • Offer help where you can ✅
  • Find more articles for Bruce ✅
  • More Coursera and Crash Course ✅

A strange day at school. When we arrived it seemed like we had an urgent request to check all the videos that the Thai teachers had made because the parents had complained about bad pronunciation by the teachers. We were happy to help but not really sure exactly what they wanted us to fix (or how?).

Despite the urgency, the teacher we were supposed to get the files from wasn’t there and no one told us where she was or if/when she would arrive.

After lunch we got another message that it wasn’t the videos that we had to check but the PowerPoints they had made. We had already noticed mistakes in some that we saw and when we pointed it out they said that it was too difficult to change in time.

By the end of the day we had only received one file to check, so it wasn’t so urgent, I guess!

We busied ourselves preparing our next videos which we will record over the next couple of days. I feel very relaxed about the whole situation but also want to be careful not to slip into laziness. I helped the uni students and first-year teachers to proofread their work. The all really want to talk with us so that they can practice speaking English. Some of the first-year teachers told me that they thought the whole Thai education system was messed up and I encouraged them to be the ones who can trigger the change.

When I got home Amy told me about many complaints around Thailand about the quality of the Thai teachers teaching English and videos had gone viral. With online teaching the parents are now seeing what their children have to work with and are understandably upset.

I will maintain my relaxed attitude – everything still feels so uncertain for everyone. No point to get upset or frustrated.

There’s no feeling bad without feeling fine – 19th June 2003

Well, today was different – feeling relaxed, talkative, confident… Even struck me while it was happening and then I tried to work out what it was that I was feeling and figure out how I could draw on that in times when I need it.

I see people on the train miserable and grumpy and I wanted to shout at them that everything is ok… But I know how they feel – I’ve been there often myself.

Anyway, I couldn’t figure out what the hell the difference was and how I can draw on it when required… oh well… Maybe it’s just the overall general well being… Everything’s going along ok – no diff to three weeks ago but I just seem more positive. Hopefully got over this sick feeling for the last two months – if it is an allergy though I guess it could come back pretty much anytime.