Tag: relaxing

Broken Isn’t Bad – 14th April 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Broken isn’t bad, here we are again
It’s our destiny, what we’re made for
There’s no hiding from our inner pain
For some, it’s what they’re paid for
Scabs are formed around scrapes and cuts
Dizzy heads are spun amongst the stars
Feeling cheated and going nuts
These deeper wounds will form your scars

Today I’m feeling:

A little flat and a little bored. Missing that crazy cat.

Today I’m grateful for:

Free time. Netflix. YouTube. Books and comics. It’s a lazy day.

The best thing about today was:

Watering the garden whilst on a video call with Amy. It got me up and about instead of lounging around and napping.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I couldn’t keep my eyes open this afternoon so had to succumb to a quick snooze. I’m not motivated at all today. That’s ok. I know there are days like this and things will pick up again.

Something I learned today?

I watched a video about the cost of living in Bangkok and was shocked at comments saying they thought 200,000 baht a month was about right for someone single in their 20s or 30s. I know that’s not my demographic but to compare I live on less than 30,000 baht per month and the locals are getting around 9,000 for many jobs.

What is my favourite way to relax?

My favourite way to relax is after working hard. Right now I’m relaxing from one relaxing thing to another and it’s not my preference. I need the juxtaposition between effort and rest.


I took this picture because I’m having to pour my love into Cap and Tig. Cap loves to be close by though usually just out of arms reach. Though he’s usually lazing around he rarely seems to be in a deep sleep.

Heavy Lies – 6th November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Seeking connections far outside of town
Wanting a verb but always finding a noun
A big nose, a smile upside down
Heavy lies the head that wears the clown

Trying to float yet about to drown
These waters swam are turning brown
This king is in a state of constant frown
Heavy lies the head that wears the crown

Inspired by a misspelling on an online post

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to sit in my hammock this morning and finish reading the Rolling Stones biography. It’s a nice and cool temperature as Tangmo and Kim Chi chased each other and sniffed around. Days are good.

Dragged myself up out of bed this morning as I was up later than usual last night, reading, trying to finish Cosey Fanny Tutti’s Art Sex Music – almost made it.

Utopia is closed at the moment due to one of the staff members catching Covid. It seems the main outbreak around here was from a Halloween event at a place called Retro Bar. Not sure where that is, somewhere on the university side of the highway.

Although we didn’t know it at the time, Aing was there too and I’d been trying to arrange meeting her as she was only here for three days. One evening, she messaged us that she was at Hope Bar, two houses away from us, but Amy and I were already in bed, old folks that we are these days. It was 9pm. So, as it turned out, it was good that we didn’t get a chance to meet this time.

So, with Utopia being closed, I had to do without my regular morning coffees and chose to read the Rolling Stones bio in my hammock, buffeted by a cool, almost cold, breeze and I did that for an hour or so until finishing the book. Hooray. The Slash bio next, as I continue on with the rock bio books on weekends.

Despite running around shopping, dropping off cakes and picking up coffees in the city, the day feels relaxed and stress-free despite all the potential for anxieties. My attitude is good, my head is in a good space and I’m chilling to new music and staring in wonder at my bookshelves, contemplating what to read next.

Mr Ghost – 15th October 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Waking up, never sure I am me
Wondering today just who I will be
Sometimes you do not want to be controlled
You make me do all the things that I’m told

You whisper those dark secrets in my ear
Directing me through prejudice and fear
I try to blank you out, please go away!
I try to yank you out, but you will stay

Like a dog barking at the thinnest air
I’m talking to someone who isn’t there
A living being conjured in my brain
An agent I must practice to restrain

You’re taking over, no longer to wait
I cannot hold it so I accept my fate

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for this time at school without having to teach. It’s very relaxing and really helps me wind down.

It’s a dull, dark day today – feels like England. My eyes feel heavy and whilst not being at all unhappy, some of the joy seems to have been sucked out of everything I’ve done. Though I did just have a good chat with Dylan, which sees me writing this now, after 4pm, when I could be heading home.

Not much of any import occurred today. I did a lot of reading and avoided people, mostly. As I said to Dylan, the avoidance is not out of discomfort or anything about other people but when you are around people here at school, you tend to get roped into doing things.

Perhaps worse than that is being told you have something to do and getting tensed up about it and then changing minds have you not doing it in the end. An anxiety for nothing. Of course, it would be better to learn to deal with it without having anxiety but this avoidance works well too. Where I can quietly read and write as I please.

Singy – 7th October 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Rob’s singing about his cat again
And I’m trying to sing-a-long
I can’t quite hit the harmony
And I get the lyrics wrong

But the joy is in our hearts
As we’re belting out this song
There’s no difference between us
We are all where we belong

Inspired by listening to Thingy and the genius songwriting of Rob Crow and his songs about his cat Molly.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that the dentist called to remind me to go today and bring my mouth shield because I forgot it last time.

It’s been pretty hot during the days recently and despite flooding in other parts of the country, it hasn’t rained here for a week or more now. The temperature in the evening is perfect though, and when the skies are clear, Venus and Jupiter (maybe) are super bright up above.

When I got home on Tuesday, Amy wanted to go for a swim and despite the sun being behind the mountains, when we got to the resort pool, just 3 minutes ride from us, it was a very pleasant hour or so, which a few other families were also enjoying. Relaxing here, overlooking beautiful jungle mountains and rice fields, a clear pool, food and drink, we both once again blessed ourselves for how lucky we are.

It’s dentist time again today. Let’s see how much these damn things will cost me this time! I’m happy to still have most of my teeth. I can still see my dentist’s face from when I was a teenager, always telling me to brush more and stop eating candy. He was trying his best but my rebellious streak thought I could survive forever.

Well, here I am, mouth full, sometimes hurting and most times painful on the wallet. I can remember a time when mum got her first clip-in teeth and I must be older than that now. So, I can consider I’m doing well enough, right?

The last few times I stayed with her, I was always amused in the mornings when she would wake up and ask me to hold on while she put in her teeth. A few more were required by that time. She’d also have put in her hearing aids and put on her glasses. Is that my destiny too? So long as I can put it all off a little longer, that’s ok.

I can’t imagine not losing my hearing, considering all the loud shows I’ve been at, surely exposed more than my mum had in her lifetime. Her parents both went deaf but I don’t know about anything on dad’s side. Hopefully, I inherited something good there.

Pay Attention – 29th September 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Are you listening carefully
To the big world around?
Are you looking where you’re walking
Or just staring at the ground?

Notice all the details
Little things easy to miss
Be grateful with all your senses
From which to bring you bliss

Breathe deep the air in thanks
Test everything you touch
Taste each gift of food
With the passion you love so much

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the buttery smell this morning as Amy prepares for a busy day baking cinnamon scrolls.

Today I’ve been feeling a little antsy though I’m not sure why. I think maybe yesterday I spent too long sitting and my lower back and thighs felt sore and then I woke up with a stiff neck again. I wasn’t looking forward to another day of sitting, whether at school or at House.

So, as I was going for coffee I decided to head to 22 Grams and read there for a bit, before heading to House. How lucky I am to be able to go to two cafes before even going to work!

There’s talk that we’ll have no holiday this time and that’s kind of a bummer if it happens, but as Dylan said, it’s not exactly like we work that hard anyway. He and George don’t put in the same sort of effort as I do from what I can see and I don’t mean that as a comparison but as a statement that for them they are very relaxed about their classes and the work the students put in. I can’t help myself being fully invested in helping my students.

Nearing the end of the semester, I’m relaxing too but even though I can sit around doing as I like most of the day, I would rather be able to do that at home. Having said that, I probably wouldn’t get as much done, such as reading, blogging or even writing this!

Poems on this day – 5th July 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Another Week

Another week is here
Another Monday of fun
How many have I seen?
How many more to come?
Time runs away from me
I can’t keep up these days
On the downward spiral
Running out of plays
Lazy summer Sundays
Now filled to overflowing
Oh, to be bored again
With no idea where I’m going
Regret no past mistakes
It was all a knowledge to seek
Savour every living moment
So begins another week

Uprooted

Uprooted from all you know
At the age of just sixteen
Still growing into your world
But following your parent’s dream
A better life is on its way
Though you may not see it yet
Take up this challenge
Make the most of what you get

I’m teaching a sixteen-year-old student who is moving with her parents from China to Australia. A tough time for someone that age.

Four Rats

Four rats run around Tokyo
Stealing all her food and drink
Too slow in her reactions
Those rats are smarter than you think
Sniffing the air in excitement
Whiskers twitching from their keep
In the drains and shadowy corners
Whilst Tokyo remains asleep

Tokyo is my friend’s pup, the sneaky rats are well-fed!

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for a long day of rest yesterday with nothing much to do. I could recover from my hangover just watching TV or playing with the cats and dogs.

Poems on this day – 24th May 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Point Five

I got a point five
Writing got thinner
Point five on this page
Surely is a winner

*The .7 was bleeding through the page. The .5 is good for this paper I’m writing on at the moment.

Angels in the Backyard

Down here at the ground floor
Snacking on an oily garlic bread
Watching skinny mid-riffs floating by
Not understanding what they said

Filled with food and a feast for eyes
Wipe the dripping from my chin
Unmasked for everyone to see
Central to absolutely everything

Make a mental note to self
Let no opportunity go to waste
Sat amongst the spices of life
That I may neither touch nor taste

Washed down with refreshing water
There was never any doubt
Lunch is meant for rooms like this
Fill on up and move on out

Reason

I’m proud of you – confessing my allegiance
That’s strange and unreasonable
Times past, irrelevant and small

As one gets older – one needs reassurances
Not always entirely reasonable
In order to go at all

*Re-arrangement of text from Ursula LeGuin’s ‘The Dispossessed’

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my pleasant relaxing weekend away from school. For a weekend of many cold showers to cool down and wipe away the sweat. For the delicious strawberry ice cream and tasty pineapple Amy prepared.

Infinite Jest – 23rd May 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Be on guard, the road widens
And many of the detours are seductive
Talent is its own set of expectations
Try to be a no-one, so instructed

Of multiple exposure melodramas
Learn to care and not to care
This is where you are not who you are
Shaped or broken, remain aware

Learn from those who fail
This is your body, they want you to know
This is the whirlpool, a friend
Your torn blue ankle tells you so

Unconscious exercise becomes a way to escape
A long waking dream of pure play
On the line, you must call it fair
A thousand times and every day

*pilfered and inspired by David Foster Wallace’s ‘Infinite Jest’

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for a relaxing Sunday morning with coffee and a book and then a couple of hours watching football. A little cooler today, thankfully, though still hot. The future is looking bright (if you close your eyes to other things!).