Respun Visions – 18th August 2023

Today I experimented a little using AI. I took the five paragraphs individually in this post at Spinning Visions and asked AI to summarise each with a four-line poem:

A balcony that's hidden from the view
A door that's sealed with plaster and with lies
A neighbor who has seen what lies behind
A mind that's overgrown with ivy vines

They say our brains must prune the past
To make some room for what is new
But I don't want to lose the things
That made me who I am with you

I've closed so many doors inside
And left them in the dark
I've cut off ties that once were mine
And hid the broken parts

I saw him through the window pane
The one who broke my heart
I thought of all the words unsaid
And how we grew apart

I've left behind so many things
That once were part of me
But now they're hidden by the green
Of ivy's memory

I then asked AI to make these results more philosophical and ended up with this:

What is a balcony but a space
Between the inside and the out
A door that's closed can never face
The truth that lies beyond the doubt

What is a brain but a device
That stores and shapes our history
But when it prunes it pays a price
And loses parts of mystery

What is a heart but a vessel
That fills and spills with love and pain
A tie that binds or a trestle
That bridges gaps or breaks in twain

What is a memory but a shade
That fades and grows with time and light
A green that covers or a blade
That cuts and heals or stirs the night

Of course, I can’t really claim any credit for this beyond the fact that I took the time and effort to do it. I like Makenna’s writing at Spinning Visions and have found it quite inspiring to take her ideas and thoughts and consider them in my own contexts. This time I was just curious how AI would find summarising short texts into four-line poems.


Today I’m feeling:

Tired but positive, a little sleepy when I stop and sit. Need to keep moving. I pushed through two workouts again and feel good for that. After my first class is a four-hour break that I will hope to stay awake through. I don’t want to get caught sleeping at the cafe!

Kept myself going by getting right into some more lesson planning so ran out of time to even do much blog updating.

Today I’m grateful for:

The little plastic toe spacer that I hope will improve my sore big toe joint over time. I’ve tried a few different spacers but I find that they can get uncomfortable after an hour or so, even waking me from sleep. This one is smaller and simpler and just helps you keep the big toe straight in comparison with the second toe. It would be great if I could actually fix this painful foot that has bothered me on and off for most of my life. I’d also like to fix my hips which are out of balance and also contribute to the pain in my foot and other places such as knees, back and the hips themselves.

I can imagine a complete relief, like being pumped full of a relaxant but I think that will only come just before I die. A slow relief that completely overwhelms, until only your body is all that is left and you cease to exist.

The best thing about today was:

Listening to Nicha and Namkhing improve their reading skills, as I had been personally encouraging them last year with one-on-one lessons and whereas then, they struggled with even just two-letter words now they are able to make attempts at four-, five- and six-letter words. They still often fail but the fact that they are trying fills with happiness. I made sure they knew how happy I was too.

Something I learned today?

I rediscovered a website with some English lesson plans, quizzes and games and it inspired me to put together new lessons. Once I get into it I can imagine the work unfolding in the classroom, who will struggle and who will do well, deciding whether to push harder or pull back. Not every time is a hit and some days that happens can be frustrating for the students who then make it frustrating for me. I think I mixed things up well this week and kept my students occupied, learning (if they wanted to) and happy.

Where am I headed?

I’m just heading along. I feel like I’ve spent my life headed to here, where I am. I don’t have any other place I particularly need to be.

This could change in the future as I’m guessing at some point we will head back to Australia again. I don’t need to be thinking about that right now though.

What worries me the most currently?

I don’t tend to worry much about anything. Even things that might cause worry such as Amy being able to settle back here again, doesn’t really worry me that much. Whatever path life goes down I’m still on the path.

I took this picture because finally, something stood out to me that begged a photo to be taken. The sky was a little brighter today which seemed to open my eyes more to what is around.

Upside – 31st May 2023

It’s so precious to see you smile again
Stepping down from the chair
Panic may still grip the heart at times
But I know you’ll still be there

The promises the liars gave you
Cheated your belief into ease
But reality hits like a punch to the gut
And your dreams just become a tease

Let’s go forward together into the dark
There’s nothing that can kill us
We’ll turn apathy upside its head
And only love will ever fill us

Inspired by a student I helped get to the psychiatrist, take some meds and get counselling. Still suffering anxiety and a tough life, it definitely made an impact to see a face that hadn’t smiled for a long time.


Today I’m feeling:

Very good. Got up earlier, my back was still stiff and sore but did a workout and meditation. I enjoyed all my classes and had a good time with students outside of class too, though it is ridiculously hot and everyone is complaining. They still run around playing volleyball, some still with jumpers on and begging me to come and join them. I tell them to wait until winter.

Today I’m grateful for:

Some of my students energetically fanning me with their homemade paper fans or now, many students have little USB fans, some that hang around the neck and they let me borrow them. It’s better than dripping sweat on them, though it is barely enough to cool down!

The best thing about today was:

The fact that I can’t think of anything, in particular, to put here but that I had a very enjoyable and happy day.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Again, there’s nothing really for me to add here either. Any minor things that felt out of control were easily subdued and dealt with without any drama.

Something I learned today?

I’ve been occasionally checking out videos about classroom management and getting students’ attention back and I often come across some good ideas but then forget about them completely. Part of this is because my two new classes this year are much better behaved than the ones who started last year (though I came to love them all somehow). There are still a couple of disruptive students but in a class of thirty that’s fine. Last year about half of each class was disruptive. Er… so what have I learned today? Umm.

What is one thing I learned about myself this month?

I can bounce back. I can keep going without (much) complaint. I can find the positive. Have I become an optimist? Not quite. I don’t think I’ve ever been really pessimistic except in the throws of depression. I think I’m more of a realist which is casting an optimistic view over pessimistic situations.

I took this picture because I’m hoping that this is the beginnings of a storm tonight.
Later – there’s rumbling and a light show but it seems like it might be circling around elsewhere.
Even later – everything disappeared.

I’ve got a question to ask you, and then you can ask it of me – 27th February 2020

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my psychiatrist who prescribes me my medicine. Can I live without it?

Forgiveness is choosing to not let negative events of the past define how you feel about someone or something in the present.

Mark Manson

To-do list

  • Finish Chinese drawing.
  • Eye-gaze practice – so difficult! ½
  • Stay calm. Talk less. ½
  • Staple exam papers. ✅
  • Focus on colours today ½

Stayed calm but talked quite a bit with Said and George.

Occasionally focused on colours and tried to remember about eye gazing. It’s really uncomfortable though!

I stayed calm during a difficult lesson this morning but some of the smarter kids had a great idea to go outside and finish the lesson and it worked out really well.

My other lesson was fine and I spent a couple of hours talking with George. I really look up to his way of thinking and want to push myself to end up like that too. I found myself interrupting him in conversation sometimes though and must try not to do that, and to really listen to what he is saying rather than just waiting to say the thing I want to say.

I felt a bit rejuvenated after that though not having any proper lunch made me tired as I got home. I did, however, feel some relief at it being the end of the working week for me.

Tomorrow I will use the time on the plane to read and meditate.