“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
A cinquain written for Ronovan’s Cinquain Challenge #28
Submitted to Poets and Storytellers United – scream and Ovi Poetry Challenge 64 – think
Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 56 – accept
Today I’m feeling:
Not too bad. My hip is only slightly sore now, and I think I got it from spending too much time sitting in the cafe on Wednesday and Thursday last week. I don’t think that it was from exercise so much, though I’m still wary of starting up again, and so skipped it this morning. I will start again tomorrow and see how I go.
I was a little dizzy this morning until my medicine kicked in, and I felt pretty good by the end of the day.
Today I’m grateful for:
The folks doing the new road again, as they put in some extra concrete to join up with our driveway, which we were expecting to have to do ourselves. I’m not sure how good it is yet as it is still covered, but it will be better than nothing and cheaper than use having to pay to fix it up.
The best thing about today was:
I had back-to-back one-hour classes with my grade 8s this afternoon, and I was pleasantly surprised at the second class who can the most rowdy at times. Within five minutes of setting them a writing task, they were quietly completing it, and I didn’t know what to do with myself.
As they completed the work, I told them what we would do on Thursday when they would read the tex,t and they listened attentively so that they could write out some pronunciation in Thai to help them remember.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In the morning, I had to walk over to auntie’s house where our car was parked due to the road work, and Tangmo wandered over for a cuddle, rub and snack. His back was wet and there was a sudden smell of cat shit and I was sure that I must’ve stepped in some.
Even after getting in the car I was looking around for cat shit, wondering how a cat might’ve gotten into a totally locked car. Then, as I was driving along, I smelled my hands and they smelled of some sort of horrible chemical, like a mix of paint thinners and petrol.
The bad smell must’ve been a mix of dirty dog and whatever the dirty dog had been rolling in. After arriving at school I avoided saying hello and fist bumping students as much as I could and headed towards a bathroom to wash my hands and make sure that I hadn’t sat in cat shit somehow.
One wash helped, but it wasn’t enough. I took a second go at House and started to feel a little less self-conscious.
Tangmo came to say hello again when I got home, and he still stunk to high heaven. I hope it is not having too much of an effect on him, as the smell is positively cancerous.
Something I learned today?
Today will be the last that I see of my grade 12 HAP and E-sports students for this semester. It’s a shame, as I had a fun class lined up for them next week.
Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 51 – steps
Today I’m feeling:
Great for getting up a few minutes earlier, working out and beating the traffic to work. This morning, all the kids were in happy, playful moods, so it was a good start to the day.
Mondays are pretty easy for me, even with 5 hours in class, so I felt relaxed even though I had to rush some coffees and didn’t get much writing done.
Today I’m grateful for:
The students who have been dragged into performing a play this year. Most of them are my students, either currently or in the past. I was teaching next door to where they were practising, and they pulled me in to help them with some pronunciation practice. I felt grateful that they knew that they could come to me for help.
Even though I’m already busy, I offered to help them when I had some spare time.
The best thing about today was:
My grade 8 student Manow, who for parts of last semester was shy and wary of me, had her 14th birthday today and as I called her up to the board to do the last piece of work for the class, I announced (though everyone knew) that it was her birthday and we all proceeded to sing Happy Birthday for her.
She then shared out her cake, which she had been carrying around all day and as there were only ten minutes left for the class, it quickly got devoured.
She has warmed up to me a little more now that she realises that I am there to help her with learning. She’s not great at English, but I give her encouragement for her effort.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When I got home, I was happy to see that the gardeners had been and things were looking tidier again (until you look closely anyway). I was appreciative that they had left alone the part of the garden I cordoned off and asked Amy to remind them to leave, too.
But then, Amy told me to go and look out in the drive, and there were the sad remains of two of our best ghost cactuses. Sigh.
Amy asked me to pay the gardener, which has left me well short of cash this month. I asked her to send pictures of our ravaged cactuses and to ask them to take more care.
Something I learned today?
Sydney Swans beat Geelong yesterday, and I was able to at least watch the 15-minute mini-match, though things weren’t looking good as we went six goals down and didn’t get our first into deep into the second quarter. Things came together after that, though, and things are looking positive for the future this season.
It’s kind of annoying that this season, when we are doing so well, is the first season I haven’t been able to watch the full matches. I’m still not going to fork out a week’s wages for a subscription, though.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I took Baipad a piece of Amy’s carrot cake this morning.
Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 48
Today I’m feeling:
Great. Got in a little exercise in the morning and right into it with my classes, armed with a couple of coffees and soon some water, though thankfully the new room I was given has aircon! Not much of any substance with the classes for now, just a gentle easing in.
I’m thinking that I will also have to get some new lessons together – just based on talks with a few students. I plan ahead as much as I can but I like to get input from the students about what they want to learn.
Today I’m grateful for:
My new student Sky who helped me get organised for the fact that I will miss my first lesson with her and her classmates on Monday. I only know her from chatting with her when she was working in the school cafe.
The best thing about today was:
Three of my poorer students really applied themselves today and I was very impressed with their attitude. I also really enjoyed their self-satisfaction when they were able to help others too.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Right now, mid-evening, there was a boom outside and suddenly some of our power was gone. Sounds like some of the dodgy electricity work they’re doing along the road has caused some problems. We’ve got a little power but it’s fluctuating so we’ve turned most things off for now.
There was a brief storm earlier which has dropped the temperature but it’s still pretty warm.
Nothing much to be done except wait.
Something I learned today?
David McBride blew the whistle on Australians committing war crimes in Afghanistan and now he has been jailed for six years for doing so. There have been no convictions for the actual war crimes.
Australia is also keeping a former US citizen in solitary confinement whilst awaiting extradition – for 16 months already. The charges are fabricated and flimsy at best.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Whilst I was teaching my second class Kru Tang came past and asked me if I could teach a couple of extra hours for one of the classes as their course will finish in July. I was a little miffed as I already teach more than the other teachers but she said she knew that but was trying to fix a problem.
Anyway, I’m happy to teach so I agreed (it’s only for a few weeks effectively) and seriously joked with her about looking out for me when the time comes, when I’m sure to be in trouble for something or other.
Submitted to Ovi Challenge – Hope
Today I’m feeling:
Much improved. Almost normal even! Is it a psychological trait of mine? A mental quirk? Does my brain make me feel ill when there are things that I’m supposed to do that I really can’t be fucked to do?
And now, Sunday – usually the day before going back to work (which I love when there are students at school and detest when there aren’t and we are there just because we are supposed to be) but tomorrow is the first day of the holiday. Has circumstance suddenly tricked me into feeling well?
It’s also weird to be annoyed at having five weeks holiday this year, a week more than last year, and this is because it is the worst time of year here for air pollution and five weeks in October would be so much more preferable. But like I say it’s weird to be bothered about having extra holiday time!
Today I’m grateful for:
Uncle Nit next door who is helping us sort out some extra work that we need to connect up our drainage to the new drains being added under the widened road.
Uncle also told us that he’s never seen anything come out of our drain so I’m not exactly sure where our wastewater even goes.
The best thing about today was:
Getting this message from one of my grade 10 students Miwkey:
I am impressed and enjoy learning in the teacher’s lesson. Since I studied with foreign teachers, I have never met a teacher like you. I’ve only encountered foreign teachers who use their emotions towards their students while not paying attention to the lessons they teach in the classroom.
I kind of understand what she means – I think there are many teachers who don’t and sometimes can’t actually assist with explaining some things and just tell the students that they are stupid and should figure it out for themselves. Sigh.
I do also ask them to figure things out for themselves but I’m going to guide them with effective methods that they can remember and reuse.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Whilst at Utopia Amy called me to pick up some veggies at the market. When I got back she saw them and exclaimed ‘Noooo, not that one! Go back now!’
Luckily I was in a good mood and quickly went back and got the correct ones.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
More encouragement for students via LINE.
What word or phrase sums up this month?
Tired would pretty much be it. Is it that I’m tired after this busy school year? Because I invest so much of myself into it emotionally? It’s not really been that busy since Christmas.
Perhaps it’s a combination of that and missing the kids, the heat and air pollution and not really having any plans to go anywhere.
But I did feel better today at least.
Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge – Tragedy and inspired by comments there.
Today I’m feeling:
Rested and slow to get going. Two Utopian coffees are working their magic though I wish I could clear the phlegm out of my body and breathe clearly again.
Today I’m grateful for:
The Ruamittr ice cream in the freezer that Amy only told me about today!
The best thing about today was:
Clean (and new) sheets!
Something I learned today?
It was interesting to read an old interview with all the members of Rancid and to hear a wild story about an exhumed baby at Gilman Street!
Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge at RonovanWrites
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty flat and tired. Less dizzy than yesterday and my brain seems to be functioning reasonably well but I’m lacking energy and motivation.
Today I’m grateful for:
Two awesome coffees this morning where Nick was manning Utopia in Art and Noey’s absence.
The best thing about today was:
Watching the Swans beat Collingwood at the MCG (played on Friday) cheered me up, followed by watching the highlights of Ipswich beating Sheffield Wednesday 6-0.
As I was watching the AFL and thinking about how long I have followed certain sports teams and seeing how young they are, I was reminded of the time when I was the same age as the players and thinking I could’ve done that and that is 35 years ago now. Players have come and gone but the team maintains. How long will sports last into the future?
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’m not feeling particularly hungry today so I only ate some snacks but did finish off the chocolate almonds.
Something I learned today?
In the UK, the Tories have let slip their true intentions for Gaza: they want Israel’s genocide to continue for as long as possible and they are worried about peace because the genocide is hurting Labour in the polls.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I did so little today and of no real consequence but I did accidentally trap Tigger’s tail in the door and he was understandably upset. I hope he’s ok. I saw him outside later but wasn’t able to check.
Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 37: POSITIVITY
“And in the pain, there is strength.”
As a depressed teenager I carved LIFE IS PAIN into my arm. It is a constant reminder. I live for the struggle.
Where I now teach, some students were wasting time in class playing a (pretty dumb) video game. I asked them what they got out of it and they said it was fun and they learned that by driving the car faster they earned more points.
I asked them how this was useful in real life and they had no answer. I told them that life is not fun. They looked at me seriously and asked me what it was and I sure told them…. LIFE IS PAIN.
To reiterate the point I twisted their arms behind their backs until it hurt and asked them – WHAT IS LIFE!? PAIN, PAIN – they screamed.
We all laughed (please don’t imagine that I am some sort of ruthless prison guard with my hyperbole) and they went back to their game.
But one day…..they will remember this.
Today I’m feeling:
Positive and happy. With Amy off for the day, I will take some time to catch up on emails and writing.
Today I’m grateful for:
The twenty-baht shop where I bought more light bulbs. The lady there is an attractive and young-looking woman but today I discovered, and couldn’t believe, that she has a daughter who looks about 8 or 9 years old. The daughter was curious about me and when I gave her a wink she broke out a big smile.
The best thing about today was:
It’s been a pretty lazy relaxing afternoon with a bit of reading and watching YouTube. Watering the garden was about as good as it gets. I want to see things grow, grow, grow.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Although it was in my control I ended up spending about 1000 baht today, buying coffee, light bulbs, soda water and remembering to order the car seat covers on Lazada. No more inessentials for the rest of the month now….
Something I learned today?
From Rise of the Global South Telegram group: Swedish Diplomat Count Folke Bernadotte Personally Saved 31K Jews from Nazi Concentration Camps – He was Shot Dead by Members of the Jewish Stern Gang in Jerusalem in 1948
He was killed at point-blank range in a motorcade ambush after writing a UN report based on the devastated Palestinian villages he personally witnessed.
The go-ahead for the murder came from the future Prime Minister of Israel, Yitzhak Yezernitsky.
Israel knew the names of the men who committed the murder, yet nobody was charged.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I took Amy to the city and the family to the temple for Grandmum’s 100-day prayers. Then, I dropped Mum and Dad home, picked up Aor and dropped her and Amy at Paew’s. My taxi duties done for the day.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 23. Create Something. Not to leave a legacy, you won’t be here to see it anyway, but to be of use. Make music, write a book, build a table, anything. You’ll feel good about yourself, plus you give something back to people to use or enjoy.
Growing up I always seemed to be creating something (apart from a nuisance), from artwork, poetry and lyrics, music (of a sort), then creating or advancing a scene in the Sydney DIY space, producing records and so on.
I’m proud of the things that I have done and consider it my legacy but only for myself to enjoy. It has all made me feel good about myself and I know I have inspired others with some of the things I have created and seen them get enjoyment from them too. Every day I still create something.
1994ever 