Don’t you forget about me – 1st January 2020

Thankfully, I didn’t drink much last night so woke up early and started doing a few things and the day has ended up quite well. A few ideas for more things I’d like to do this year. Slowly, my man cave is getting in order.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to my old friends, who are busy now, as we all are, but haven’t forgotten about me. I won’t forget about them either.


Weight: 80.5kg
Resting heart rate: 47

My friend Rosie, in Sydney, posted on facebook an offer to draw/paint pictures to send to friends and so I picked Jochen (Hinterlandt), Kyaw Kyaw (Rebel Riot) and Lachlan (Art As Catharsis). I can’t recall if I arranged for her to send out the actual pictures too but they all received them digitally around this time. A great philanthropic idea for sure and I was very happy to take Rosie up on her offer.

To-do list

  • Dye hair.
  • Sort more old writing and things in room.
  • Next Thai video and Drops.
  • Find something for teaching KT.
  • Wix forum options.

Did it list

  • Read 3 chapters.
  • Got up early.
  • Dyed my hair.
  • Recorded another TCRAH.
  • Sorted through old writing and letters.
  • Streamlined more online processes.
  • Installed forum options to WIX – looks achievable to do what I wish.
  • Heard some great new music.
  • Posted Rosie’s pictures to Jochen, Lachlan and Kyaw Kyaw.
  • Watched next Thai video and Drops x2.
  • Had long lazy buffet lunch with Amy.
  • Reacted calmly when discussing having to go to Chiang Mai on Sunday.

It was good to get up early and take advantage of the day. I’m glad I didn’t drink too much last night and though I did;t hang out much with everyone celebrating NYE I felt contented reading comics by myself.
I have to go to Chiang Mai next Friday to apply for my new passport and thinking about the best plan for going and coming back.
This afternoon we heard that Ting’s mum had died today and we discussed about going to Chiang Mai for the funeral. We will have to go and come back on Sunday. it’s not optimal but as Ting took the trouble to come to my mum’s funeral, it is the best thing for me to do. Ting has to fly all the way from the UK.


You may not wake up tomorrow.

What did I do well today?
What could I have done better?
– where was my self-control tested?
What will I do tomorrow?
How can I improve?
– what have I learned that will help me tomorrow?
Savour a memory from the past.

You may not sleep again.

The dearth of new ideas makes us wallow in our shame (The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #16) – 14th December 2019

I’ve been considering what content I can put here as some of my personal thoughts and feelings about this particular place I am now living (and enjoying) could cause me trouble. It’s funny how Thailand is known as the Land of Smiles but often times it feels like the Land of Fake Smiles. Having a couple of years experience here now, I understand these reasons but cannot fully support a positive attitude towards it. This is the balance I am trying to find in my world.

Perhaps that balance has always been there even in the other places I have lived but I haven’t noticed it so much and oftentimes found myself in difficult or at least odd situations. I don’t ‘play the game’ very well still but I’m getting there. If this sounds like generalised waffle, I apologise. I will try to make an orderly composition of my thoughts at some point.

Out of one of the most difficult times I’ve had in Thailand I found myself keen to focus some energy into something personally (and somewhat selfishly) fulfilling. In what little downtime I had when I was pushing myself too hard preparing lessons for my grade 5 English class I would throw my iTunes playlist on shuffle and found myself quite enthralled at the collection of digital music I collected.

The randomness reminded me of those late school nights furtively listening to John Peel’s radio show under the covers, falling asleep as I lay hoping to hear the latest and greatest punk tunes in amongst all the other genres being pioneered. This exposure to many different styles of music laid the groundwork for events many years in the future when I was organising shows for bands in Sydney and subconsciously decided on mix billed being the best way for people to hear new music. Never a way to a successful financial business model, it kept my brain satisfied and able to calmly appreciate music I didn’t particularly enjoy, anticipating music that I would.

So it was that iTunes on shuffle kept popping up a classic tune (classic to me), a dodgy old punk demo, an experimental noise soundscape and a 60s garage rocker, with many things in between. Nothing really modern mainstream though. It’s amazing some of the music from my youth was considered mainstream back then. It shits all over what is mainstream now.

Anyway, digging this vibe I even ended up downloading a bunch of reggae and African music that Peel always used to play – just to try and get that reminiscence in full force. Things I may not listen to as a full recording of suddenly make a lot of sense squished in between things I was more familiar with. I ended up down many paths of discovery of experimental music from around the world – as opposed to ‘world music.’

With need of some distraction, I decided to put together a ‘radio’ show and upload the result to the Mixcloud platform. I mostly take the tracks as they were shuffled through iTunes and do a bit of back announcing. I also decided to play around a little with some of the songs and introduce some moments where I could read a paragraph or two from books from my shelves.

To give this odd mix a little focus I decided to target my audience to the university students at the local uni which is less than a kilometre away from where I am. I roped in a few of my student friends from there and also from my favourite local coffee shop, to do a bit of speaking and to have their pictures taken. So was born The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour and the push for musical world domination.

The tenzenmen music library
Gus, Mink, Nu and Aing – in the music library.

Understanding that my tastes are almost niche beyond niche I would not expect a huge audience for what I’m doing but really that is not the purpose. I do it for myself. I really enjoy putting it together and messing around with things, trying to come up with some new ideas for presentation. I’m contemplating how to do this mix in a live setting and finding a place to do it but I don’t have much time to practice that part as well as not having a completely reliable equipment setup. A new laptop is a little out of reach at the moment.

So, if you’ve read this far you may be curious to hear what these shows sound like? Or scared to find out. Either way, it seems like this is a good vehicle to post links to each show and also force me to write at least once a week as new episodes appear.

“Remember life on earth is but a flash of dawn
And we’re all part of it as the day rolls on”

Music from Ween, Magic Mushroom Band, No Babies, The Ebonettes, goat, Andy Partridge, Acanthus, Banned, Hebosagil, The Yellow Payges, Bad Brains, Daniel Striped Tiger, Martin Archer, Teenage Depression, Mudhoney and Donovan.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I could do so many things yesterday and keep going even though I was so tired by the end of the evening. I kept a good attitude and wasn’t so anxious about things that I wanted to do compared with some things that I had to do.

Did it list

  • Encouraged Fern to learn to make my coffee at Utopia.
  • Got my haircut.
  • Uploaded TCRAH podcast.
  • Recorded new TCRAH podcast.
  • Prepared and executed a quick fun game for my two students today.
  • Got through a little of the never-ending sorting of music, on computer and CDs.
  • Wrote another blog post and enjoyed the process of writing.
  • Got passport photocopies done.
  • Rosie offered to do quick drawings and send them out as postcards. What an awesome idea so I asked her to do Jochen, Lachlan and Kyaw Kyaw.
  • Finished reading Lonely Boy