Bad Foot – 7th August 2023

There is no bad foot
When putting forward
The only way is back

Once it’s understood
It’s no longer awkward
To stumble along this track


Today I’m feeling:

It’s been a good day with lots of well-utilised free time in the morning, a quick hang-out with students, a class and home again to watch Guardians of the Galaxy 3 through the dodgy Thai websites. 

My exercise in the morning definitely put me in the right frame of mind for the day.

Today I’m grateful for:

The aforementioned dodgy Thai websites for making current movies available for free. There’s a small chance that I would’ve watched this in a cinema but if Amy hadn’t mentioned it I probably wouldn’t have even known there was a third film in this franchise.

The best thing about today was:

Catching up on blog updates including an old diary entry from 1984 that a quick chat with Rupert helped remind me about. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

When I woke up this morning Cap followed me into the bathroom and as I sat on the toilet brushing my teeth he carefully got into the litter tray but left his butt hanging over the edge and so ended up pooping on the floor. I held my nose and cleaned up after him wondering how he is so stupid sometimes. He’s cute but stupid. 

Also, I haven’t had time to play guitar for the past three days but know it is there waiting for the right time. I don’t feel like playing so much whilst Amy is around. I think she is going out tomorrow evening so I may get a chance then.

Something I learned today?

New Zealand has decided not to join the AUKUS defence alliance which is a bit of a snub to the USA and has folks predicting a soft CIA-manipulated coup there soon. I’d like to think that was unlikely but at the same time, I heard a great diatribe about the CIA-trained students in China that turned the peaceful demonstrations in Tiananmen Square in 1989, which were initially just general grievances about economics, into the violent riots that saw rioters kill at least 300 unarmed PLA soldiers attempting to clear the square before tanks were ordered in. The more I hear and read about this event the more I’ve changed my opinion about what happened.

What am I looking forward to this week?

Bruno just contacted me about a ride at the weekend and if the weather isn’t good then just to grab coffee somewhere. Amy leaves on Friday and whilst I’m looking forward to my last seven weeks of relative freedom I’ll also miss her being around again. Despite our petty annoyances with each other, we have a lot of fun.

I’m looking forward to a bit of free time tomorrow morning too, to catch up on some reading and writing.

And as mentioned above I’m looking forward to playing more guitar.

No new pictures today so this one is from last week. Another angle of the dragon fruit plant flower, which still hasn’t turned into any fruit. I like the colours in this one and the light raindrops. The flowers end up looking soggy after a bit of rain as if they were made of paper.

So no, I don’t want to go to Cuba – 20th-22nd February 2018

We’re taking an overnight flight to the UK and of course, I slept a lot already.  It’s only in more recent years that I’ve been able to even sleep a little bit on planes.  Except for that one time out of Guangzhou, I was lucky enough to start talking to a girl as we were waiting for departure.  Just by chance, she knew the staff working the counter and wrangled an upgrade to business class for herself.  She was kind enough to come back down to cattle and tell me to follow her back to business class, where there was a spare seat.  Best sleep on a plane ever, and probably the last time I’ll enjoy that too.

Our plane in and out of London is the new A380 and it is huge.  Even for the likes of us paupers, it feels like there is a little more room to breathe at least.  I barely manage to sleep though.

We arrive in London around 6am and the weather has me instantly cold and chilled (not in the relaxed sense at all).  We pick up a hire car, which is amazing but I keep forgetting that it is manual and stall it at every roundabout.  Then we take the wrong lane and exit off the motorway and the sky is grey and the rain is drizzling just that annoying amount to make the wipers screech.  I am thoroughly depressed already.

Somehow the shitty English coffee manages to take off the edge at least for a while.  Just remember not to watch what the barista actually does and just go by taste.  I think I had one half-decent coffee this trip – which is one more than last time I visited the UK.

As we arrive in Brighton the sun very occasionally decides to show itself.  We’re staying at Amy’s university friend’s house and she just happens to live herself on Brighton Marina.  Sometimes I feel especially lucky to find myself in such beautiful places just through the people that I know.

It’s a great little house, and when I say little, I always forget just how tiny and compact English houses are.  And doors – always doors.  Gotta keep that heat in.

Amy has decided that we must eat Indian food on this trip and, as they are everywhere, it’s only a short walk to our lunch.  It’s cold and even the slightest breeze is enough to make us shudder.  We have prepared appropriate coats but there’s still the other bits turning blue.  Luckily the sun decides to stay for a long while and the sky turns blue.  Wait, are we still in England, in February?

Amy’s friend, Bookie, speaks with the typical American accent of her tutors from years ago.  Something that I (or Australia) have managed to change with Amy over the years.  She doesn’t sound English and not really Aussie but at least it’s not American.

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Bookie is married to an airline pilot and he is away 20 days a month and he’s away now, arriving back in the following couple of days for his birthday.  They have a five-year-old son called Kyle and when he comes home from school I’m tasked with keeping him entertained whilst food is prepared.  We have fun playing Star Wars action figures and making up stories.

Later, Amy and I enjoy the comforts of a nice soft bed and perfect pillows.  Back at Amy’s parent’s house, the bed we are sleeping on may as well be a block of concrete – it’s good for learning to sleep on a tiled floor though.  The only downside of the night is I wake up having a coughing fit and end up in the living room for a spell.  Amy is starting to catch it too and her voice is starting to crack.

We wake up again to brilliant sunshine and coffee’d up (instant) we hit the road, passing Arundel castle and some other Olde Worlde buildings.  The history and mystery of England is a little bit magical for me if only the temperature was more appealing.

Heading along the coast we get back into very familiar territory for me, with roads I travelled repeatedly in other glory days.  We soon arrive at my cousin’s house and are treated to a warm welcome of food and central heating, along with discussions about details for my mother’s funeral and some other minor details that need to be sorted whilst I’m here.

My cousin, Sharon and her husband Ken have been doing all the hard graft for my mother and for me, of course, over the last 18 months or so.  I’m so lucky that she has been here and willing to assist with everything.

It still doesn’t seem real that my mother isn’t here to talk to, to show pictures and to keep updated on the minutiae of everyday life.  I feel sad about that but not overly emotional.  I keep wondering if I’m going to sit down one day and have a big cry.  Maybe.  I’ve upped my dose of antidepressants recently, in preparation for my big life move and it’s likely they are helping keep things smooth for me emotionally.

Another coughing fit just after going to bed sees me again relocating to the living room until I’m on the verge of sleep when I return to bed and later Amy wakes me with coughing of her own.

The weather is excellent again and even though it’s cold there’s little wind to bring in the chill.  We drive back to my hometown and go to the bank where my mum and I have a joint account and sort out access for Sharon to deal with expenses etc.  Amy and I spend a little more time walking around, returning again for pizza at Piccolo Mondo, once my favourite pizza ever, not so much these days though, it’s still good though.

We take ourselves on a country drive as I search out Bulbarrow Hill.  I love this place.  It sparks that mystical quality of olden days more than some of the other places scattered around the south, even more than Stonehenge.  It’s a fabulous view and the sun’s rays break through the scattering of clouds.

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I have time to scoff down some more home cooked food, that Sharon says isn’t to her usual quality but it tastes great to me.  Bring on the cheese, potato, garlic and butter anytime!

I’m off for a quick catch-up with old school friends Rupert and Murray, though we barely have time with our busy schedules.  A quick couple of pints and it’s time to head off on our merry ways, and I am feeling quite tipsy.  That is until I open the pub door and the cold wind blast instantly sobers me.  This forces me to reminisce quite clearly the many many nights spent walking home from the pub, or the local football club, or the school field where we huddled around a couple of cans of beer and maybe a fire.  Those days were either hell fun or hell shit depending on my mood and what was going on around me.  I miss the good bits.  A lot.

Edit:  Could not stop humming this tune during these few days – https://youtu.be/xk2QbCDRP0U

*The Week That Was – 17th September 1984

Record of the week: Pregnant Combine Harvesters – AURA, Zounds – Can’t Cheat Karma, Cult Maniax – Full of Spunk RP

17th September 1984
Nothing special happened today.

18th September 1984
Met Zoe in Wimborne. Had a laugh with Parafin down the woods. Pissed around with Bennett’s air pistol. Went to Houldey’s. Dandy still gives me the horn. But SHE’S SO BEAUTIFUL I NEVER WANT TO SEE HER. Found my giro. £49.50

19th September 1984
Collect money. Went to Poole. Went with Bernice on the bus. Got some records. UKDK LP, In Excelsis, Disorder, Chaotic Dischord, Zounds and Cult Maniax. Had a laugh with Parafin again.

20th September 1984
Got up late. Granny had a go. Went and bought some things. Chased Burt for something to do.

21st September 1984
Went to Wimborne. Got pissed. But somehow got bored. So came back.

22nd September 1984
Went to Fog’s. Rupe was there. Jez came over. Fog came. Went to party. Had a good time. Went to the Void. Went back to party. Went back to other one with Jez. Went back to Fog’s. Came back. Mum was back.

23rd September 1984
Got up at 1. Went to Wimborne. Jez and Rupe came round. Played Megamania and Super Breakout at Bennet’s. Watched Threads. Quite disturbing. Mum got me horoscope book.

*The Week That Was –18th June 1984

Record of the week: Pregnant Combine Harvesters – Bells tape (fuckin’ amazing), The Blood – Parasite In Paradise (ace guitar riff)

18th June 1984
Got up at about 11. Pissed around for a while. Rung Jez. Went to Gaunts. Saw Muz and Graeme. They went to Stanbridge. Got the paper. Went to Hinton Martell. Met Jez there. Wheeled Greg’s Maico back to my place. Went to Houldey’s – no one there. Cut through fields to Hinton Martell. Stayed there and talked to Greg and James til 12. Greg says he’ll buy my pushbike for twenty quid.

19th June 1984
Got up at 11 again. Went to Wimborne. Met Bernice. Hung around for Jim. Got some booze, which we slurped. Jim went on to get some food. Bern went on. So did I. Got some food. Rung Vince up. Meet him tomorrow. Went down Gaunts. Had a dirt and sticks fight (at the track). Came back. Watched Young Ones. Saved a shrew from the cat’s jaws. Boring otherwise.

20th June 1984
Got up at usual time. I think. Pissed around for a while. Went to Wimborne. Met Vince. Told him how to get to my place. He went. Jim came out for lunch. Talked to Ian Bryant for a while. Came back. Went down Gaunts after tea. Had another dirt and sticks fight. Went back to Gaunts and pissed around with water. Came back, blah etc blah

21st June 1984
Woke up. Waited and waited. Burd came round, he spilt my (?). Vince came round. We went to Dominic’s. Bastard wasn’t there. His mum let us practice though. Dominic was supposed to be back at 6 but didn’t show til 7.10. We did our SDC song. Had to go at 7.30. Mum brought us back. Vince went on. We listened to our tape for a while. I went down track – no one there. Went to James’. Had a chat – came back.

22nd June 1984
Can’t remember a lot. Didn’t do much though. Jez was in school – his last day. Went to Jez’s later. He got his bike, we went to Ben’s after Jez got some booze from the club. Didn’t get pissed unfortunately. Went to Roo’s to get Jez’s record – his mother was in a good mood. Went back. Had some toast. Watched telly. I came home. Don’t know what I did.

23rd June 1984
Woke up and did fuck all. Rung Jez. He was getting his hair cut. He came over. Tried to get Maico on the road. Couldn’t. We went down track. Then to Wimborne. Met Elford. They went to chippies. I came back. They came over and went on. Jez came over. We went to Wimborne. We lost each other. I went to Bernice’s. Then up to Colehill. Met Liz. Found Jez. Went to (?). Piss boring. Jez was trying to be cool now he’s got a bike so I pissed off home.

24th June 1984
Jez came over. We went to Jim’s. Caught the bus to Bournemouth. Saw a bit of all right on there. Found Zoe and Sharon. Found an off-license and got booze. Farted around all day in the graveyard. Jim was really pissed. Zoe and Sharon got bus back. We went to Winton. No gig, we got the wrong date. Jim’s old man picked us up. I came back and watched telly the rest of the night.

*The Week That Was –11th June 1984

Records of the week: Big Fat Beast – Roses are Red…, Pregnant Combine Harvesters – SDC rip-off job

11th June 1984
Got my mum’s record player yesterday – plays records at right speed now. Went into Wimborne. Saw Hatchard – the cunt. Saw Simon. He got me some fags. Came back. Went down track. Came round then Hinton Martell. Saw Carly who nicked some fags for me. Called for James S. Had a chat. Said I’ll buy Greg’s bike. Me and James went for a ride around. Still got back in time for Hill Street Blues.

12th June 1984
Got up at 10.30. Didn’t do much as usual. In fact, all I can remember is going over Jez’s. Went for game of snooker in which I won haha. Came back to watch the Young Ones which was pretty good. After that, I did practically fuck all but I must fill up these spaces, mustn’t I?

13th June 1984
Fucking alarm shocked me out of sleep. Fuckin’ maths exam. Piss boring. Managed to write six poems in front of Granny Gray. Came back. Had a bath. Took dog. Went down track. Filling in bits now, making it better. Came back for tea and went down again. Built a fucking massive fire and burnt some of the rubbish down there. England 0-2 Uruguay

14th June 1984
Got up, pissed around. Me and Jez were running around looking for Ben. Jez came over. We loaded stuff into car and mum took us over to Dominic’s. Left stuff there. Me and Jez walked to Verwood. I got slightly drunk on the way. Went to Goober’s. His mum took us back, started practicing. Went out, came back. Went in pub, got something to drink. Mum collected us and told me I had a job tomorrow.

15th June 1984
Got up at 6.15. Went to Lorna’s. Me and Stewart went to a house. Stripped a couple of windows. Ate sandwiches with Bob (?). He took us to Verwood where I was shifting blocks. Got 6 quid off Bob. Got 3 off Stewart. Came back. Went down to see James. We decided not to go and see Vicki so I stayed there and watched Class of 1984 which was ok. I’m sure Jello Biafra was in it. Also saw Airplane II.

16th June 1984
Got up 11.30. Went to Wimborne. Got the Entity which I’ll watch at James’ tonight. Took it to their place. Had a chat. Came back. Took dog. Went back to Wimborne. Got Sounds. Had a chat with some people. Roggo(?) got a tattoo. Came back. Watched telly til 8.15. Went down to Gaunts. Went to James’. Took us about an hour to get the video to work. Watched the Entity which was good.

17th June 1984
Got up 11.30. Fuckin’ knackered for some reason. Rung Jez. He came over. Rang Ben twice but he wasn’t there. Went down to Winton. Vince, (?), Dodds, Jim, Roo, Jez and me went. Self Abuse played bloody good. Madmass were bloody good as well. Cult Maniax also good. I didn’t stop dancing. Rupert was being a big fuckin’ prick. Came back. Took Vince back. He says he’ll drum for us.

*The Week That Was – 4th June 1984

Record of the week: Black Flag – My War (again)

4th June 1984
Got up. Did this and that. Took dog. Burd came round. We did some practising til someone rang up and told us to stop. Did tape for Zoe and Sharon. Went down track later on with Jasp and Muz. Did a couple of fires and things. Got sofa from Houldey’s and put it in garage. Jez hates my painting. Haha.

5th June 1984
Got up at 7. Went to school. English in the morning. Went down town with Chesh. Came back. English all afternoon. I smell fuckin’ bad. Got home. Had a bath. Went down track. Everyone was down there. Muz, Martin and Scott chickened off down Hinton M. I went there later. Went to Frost’s and watched Young Ones. Met James and Greg. Had a laugh – remembering things. Watched Young Ones again on their video. Got back at 12.

6th June 1984
Got up at 10. Went to Wimborne to get stuff for Jasp. Met Jim. Had a chat. Came back. Gave Jasp – weedkiller. Came back then went back down. Did bloody everything. Made a fire jump which I went over. Came back again. Zoe rang. Had a decent chat. Cleaned (?) out. Went back down. Tried to start a fire. Martin got in a shit, literally. Had a laugh down at the school. Shit up Beki, Dandy and Becky. I hate Beki Houldey.

7th June 1984
Can’t remember much but I must’ve gone down to the track cos I didn’t do anything else. I was out this evening cos I missed Porridge. Jasper got done for making fireworks. Rode around the school on my moped. Had a laugh generally anyway. Me and Muz talked til about 10.30 and I came back.

8th June 1984
Went to Wimborne. Met Fog. We went to the Job Centre. I came back. Went down the track. Rung Jez up. He was going to Wimborne Disco. I went over to his place. Ben’s mum took us to Wimborne. Bought some booze. Saw Rupert the fucking cunt. Saw Jim. Jez went into the disco – the wally. Me and Ben stayed outside and drank people’s drinks. Ben got totally pissed and I was pissed. Rupert’s mum brought us back. Other things happened too daft to mention.

9th June 1984
Rupert’s mum brought Jez over to my place at 12. We didn’t get to sleep til 4. Woke up at 11. Did more on tape. Gave out leaflets on way to Houldey’s. Dandy was wearing a minidress – cor. Pissed off for a while. Mum took Jez home. I went on me bike. Me and Jez went to Ben’s. He seemed alright. He reckons Hatchard broke his nose. So we’ll have him. Had a chat with Ben’s mum. Came back blah blah blah.

10th June 1984
Got up. Went to Wimborne. Folk Festival was on. Mum was there. Didn’t see many mates so came back. Did fuck all. Went to track. Football was on. England beat Brazil 2-0. Fuckin’ surprise or what? Watched Spitting Image which was good. Watched rest of Sybil while doing crosswords.

*The Week That Was – 14th May 1984

Record of the week: New Model Army – Vengeance and Spirit of the Falklands (from Vengeance LP)

14th May 1984
Went to school. Did Office Practice – piss boring. Came home. Went down track. Came back. Did some drums. Took dog. Can’t remember anything else. Watched telly all night. Went to Houldey’s – everyone was there apart from Dandy. Came back. Watched Scully – fuckin’ ace – and Hill Street Blues.

15th May 1984
Got up 12. Went to Wimborne, saw everyone come out of school. Went to Simon’s – he was occupied with some bird. Came back. Went to Allenborne to see if Kathy was about. Came back. Read book. Had tez. Went to Jez’s. Had a decent game of snooker. (?) beat by one point 70-71. Came back. Watched Young Ones – better than last week. Doing more on wall. Went to sleep.

16th May 1984
Got up about 11. Started pissing and rode to school on moped. Had a H.E. exam which was shit. Got back, did this and that. Doing wall. Zoe rang. Had a fuckin’ shit talk. She started crying and hung up. Fuckin’ pissed me off. Went round Houldey’s – had a laugh. Went to sleep.

17th May 1984
Woke up 10. Went down track. Went to Wimborne on moped. Looked for Kathy. Vince and Rob looked at my bike. Came back. Pissed around doing this and that. Went over Jez’s. He told Roo he was chucked out of PCH. Had another decent game of snooker. Came back. Went to sleep.

18th May 1984
Managed to get up – but only just. Went in – R.E. (exam) – was fuckin’ shit. Christian this, Christian that. Wrote ten poems. Finished R.E. in half an hour. Went up Simon’s to get amp but he wasn’t in. Bought tons of grub. Went to Jez’s. Had a shit game of snooker. Jack Chickenshit being a cunt. Took Carly and Cilla back. Now I’m home.

19th May 1984
Jez came over. Went to Poole. He bought NMA. Got bass back. Scrounged money for a lead. Met these girls who gave us some fags. Came back. Went to Three Legged Cross to get my amp. Got Shirl’s amp. Pissed around. Shirl came round. He went. We did some more. Went to Houldey’s – no one there. Came back. Had tea. Did some more. Sharon and Zoe rang. Zoe was in a shit still. Pigs came round and did us for playing too loud. Went to Houldey’s. Beki and Dandy were swimming. Came back. Went back at 10.45. They came back. We came back home.

20th May 1984
Playing PCH til 3 and went to sleep. Got up 10.30-ish. Fixed my bike so Jez could get home. He went. I took dog. Went to Houldey’s. Beki was going with Mini somewhere. I came back. Took Mat’s amp back. Dandy was there. Walked back. Went to Jim’s – took Subhumans LP. Had some food. Watched Spitting Image. Cane back. Roads were a cunt. Went to sleep.

*The Week That Was – 7th May 1984

Records of the week: Sex Gang Children – Beasts, In Excelsis – Carnival of Damocles

7th May 1984
Got up. Didn’t do much. Went down club. Zoe rang before. Gave Shaun Chick a game of snooker – he only just beat me. Came back. Watched TV. Hill Street Blues. Steve Davis won the snooker.

8th May 1984
Managed to get up in time. Stef was in a mood first. 2. Went up library. 3. Did Maths – shit. Pissed around in art room with Burd. Lunch – sat on bench having fags etc. English language – didn’t do too badly I don’t think. Came back on bus which was all right. Went down. Jamie ain’t allowed out. Came back. Watched Young Ones which was pretty crap.

9th May 1984
Jim came into school for no reason. Did Social Studies in morning – pretty bad. Lunch – lay in the grass with Sarah and Vicki. Social again – which was easy. Wrote 7 poems. 7. Went up library. 8. Maths – shit. Went down Witchampton. I beat Roo at snooker. Went to Burd’s – played football. Roo’s old man brought me back.

10th May 1984
Half day today. English Comprehensions – was quite easy. Tried to get out of hall for a fag. Doubled up on bus. Rupert was supposed to come over but fuckin’ didn’t. Played drums, went down the track. Re-dug the camp and started doing some more til it pissed it down. Went to Houldey’s. Dried off. Came back. Had a bad talk with Zoe. Drew on wall. Did taping.

11th May 1984
Another half day today. Had a fuckin’ boring Physics exam today which I totally fucked up. Came back home – took dog for walk. Went down to the track and did some digging. Went to Houldey’s. Had a chat with Mr Houldey. Met Mr Shearlock – had a chat with him. Went down to club. Met Jez and Roo. We decided to really get PCH together. So Carly knew Paul Chick had a guitar so Roo bought it. I ran around with things. Saw Peter Chick – more an accident. Came home.

12th May 1984
Got on bus for Poole. Met Jez. Roo didn’t get on cos he couldn’t afford it. Jez left his bass guitar with me. Still no Black Flag so bought Sex Gang Children and In Excelsis 12″s. Put bass in Bandstand. Met Fish. We went to the Quay. Got bus back. Jez got on. Saw Simon. Told him to ring. Got back home. Went down track. Watched Automan (?). Went to track again. Simon rang. Jez rang. Went to where Jez was. Baby’s (indecipherable) then came round so he couldn’t go to the disco. Roo pissed off. Then I did. Watched film. Went to sleep.

13th May 1984
Woke up at 12. Burd rang, said he was coming over. He came with Roo. Played Subhumans to them. Started cleaning out garage. Took everything out. Put some back. Took some to dump. Put some on fire. Roo was getting on our tits. He pissed off. We had a game of football in garage. Started a fire in there. Jez went home. Went to Jim’s. Came back

*The Week That Was – 23rd April 1984

Records of the week: The Damned – Curtain Call, Minutemen – Politics of Time LP, Self Abuse – EP

23rd April 1984
Woke up. Got bored. Roo came round. Played records. Took dog (for a walk). Went to Houldey’s. Went to track. Met everyone. Came off bike, did the steering in. Came back. Rang Zoe – she wasn’t home. Roo went home. I went out. Went down BMX track again. Bought some fags for them lot. Went back to Houldey’s and played pool. Mini – Beki’s boyfriend came round. Came back – watched Hill Street Blues. Read book. Had a wank. Fell asleep.

24th April 1984
Can’t remember a lot of what happened today. Had to take their dinner in. Took dog. Went down BMX track, pissed around, came back. Zoe rang – chatted for a while. Went down club. Burd beat me at snooker. Watched this and that. Fell asleep.

25th April 1984
Got up. Rang Burd. He came over. Took both bikes down the BMX track, had a laugh on them. Went to Houldey’s. Came back. Went to Burd’s. Got bottle of milk and petrol. Went to club. Got fags and crisps. Went to Gussage. Went to sexy Sue’s. (Ron’s them Goobers??). Went to Hinton Martell. Saw James. Went to a barn. Wimborne Football Club. Couldn’t sleep anywhere.

26th April 1984
Went to Rec. Went to barn near Rupert’s. Built walls of hay. At about 3 am we started building a roof. Went to sleep at 4 am. Woke up at 5 am. Went out for a fag. Went back in, plugged all the holes up and sat in the dark. Heard noises so scarpered. Went to Rupe’s – broke a gate. Went to Witchampton bus shelter. Burd went home. So did I. Went to sleep at 10 am. Woke up at 6 pm. Burd rang. Zoe rang.

27th April 1984
Woke up. Pissed around. Went down track. Burt and Jasp came down. Then Scott. Then Jamie. Four of us went to Stanbridge. Met Carly and Priscilla. Got some fags for Priscilla. Came back. Went back to BMX track. Came back. Rung Burd. He came over and decided to stay. Went to Houldey’s, had a game of pool. They went for a walk so we chased them. Went down to the BMX track in dark. Came back. Rang Zoe earlier. Had a chat. Pissed around in my room. Got to sleep about 2 am.

28th April 1984
Woke up at 9. Burd wouldn’t let me sleep. He went at 10. Took dog. Went to BMX track. Watched Holt lose 5-0 or something. Came back. Zoe rang – talked for an hour. She’s finished with Andy. Watched telly all night whilst pissed around with Art. Been pretty depressed today. Must be missing Zoe.

29th April 1984
Not cheered up much. Went down to track. Started a new bit of track round the back. Came back. When I went to ring Zoe, kept getting a number in Coventry. Managed to get through by the operator. Had a chat with Zoe. Can’t remember owt else. Did more on the wall.

*The Week That Was – 16th April 1984

Record of the week: Ian Dury – Sweet Gene Vincent, The Mob – Let The Tribe Increase LP, Self Abuse – Soldier, Sex Gang Children – Mauritia Mayer

16th April 1984
Couldn’t get to sleep. Only about 3 hours. Mum had a laugh at us sleeping together, stayed in bed with Zoe most of the day. We went to Wimborne and both spent her money. Met Jim who was looking for Bernice. Came back on bus. Zoe didn’t feel too well. Got back into bed. Jim came round. Took some photos. Sat and talked. Me and Zoe got up to things while Jim was singing the Jam. Still couldn’t get to sleep. Eventually did.

17th April 1984
Got 7 hours sleep. Mum came up to wake us up. Huh. Got up. Burd came round. Did some songs with drums. Rupe came along. Took some photos. Jim went. Came back in. Did this and that. Jim came back. Muz came round. Me and Zoe went into other bedroom. Them lot came in doing moonies. Zoe weren’t feeling too well again. Went down the rubbish dump – ‘ad a laugh. All sorts happened – some too rude to mention. Put on DOA.

18th April 1984
Got 4 hours sleep. Woke up Rupe. Watched breakfast TV. Woke Jim and Burd up who slept in the other room. Went out, took some photos. Took Zoe down to Bournemouth. She got on bus. Went back to Wimborne. Met Jim, Burd and Rupe. Jim went on. We went to Dan’s. Bernice ill. Met Jim again. Went to Dan’s. Went round Wimborne. Met this girl who fancied Roo. Hung a tampon on a tree. Pissed around (?) Rupert to this girl. Came back on bus. Really missing Zoe. Still got a buzz from the last couple of days. Had a chat to Zoe on the phone – both unhappy.

19th April 1984
Woke up 11. Played Zoe’s favourite records. Had an apple. Can’t stop thinking about Zoe. Took dog (for a walk). Did some art for my exam. Drew Zoe. Wrote a decent poem. Waiting for Zoe to ring at 6. 6.30 – she hadn’t rung so I rang her. She wasn’t there. Went out to play drums. Zoe rang. We talked for about 50 minutes. I was glad to hear her voice. Went to Burd’s. Roo was there. Went down bus shelter. Talked about the party. Rung Roo’s girl up – had a laugh. Came home. Played Mauritia Mayer and Christian Death.

20th April 1984
Woke up. Gave my mum card and presents. Read book. Ate food. Went to Houldey’s. They gave me some wine. Came back. Dandy and Becky came in. Then went. Zoe rang – thank god. I’m really missing her. Talked for a while. Went to Houldey’s later again. It was Mr H’s birthday today as well. Came back, put on Christian Death with strobe and Mauritia Mayer.

21st April 1984
Got up. Fucked around. Decided to go to Poole. So went to see Pam who’s doing alright. Saw Dusty. Went down Poole. Saw Justin. Saw Lisa and her mate – went to park to drink cider. Came back. Zoe rang. Had a chat. Can’t stop thinking about her. Went to Houldey’s I think, I dunno. Came back. Watched Woody Allen – fucking good film. Can’t remember anything else.

22nd April 1984
Got up – practised drums. Ate food. Rang Zoe – had a nice chat. Had a bath – I was smelling a bit, and went to Houldey’s – took Mauritia Mayer. Went down BMX track. Met Jamie and Burty. Went back to Houldey’s. Came home. Went back – cleaned Beki’s window. Took record back. Went down BMX – had a laugh. Bought some fags. Went to Houldey’s. Came back. Watched film. Made semolina. Went to bed.