Tag: school

Mr Ghost – 15th October 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Waking up, never sure I am me
Wondering today just who I will be
Sometimes you do not want to be controlled
You make me do all the things that I’m told

You whisper those dark secrets in my ear
Directing me through prejudice and fear
I try to blank you out, please go away!
I try to yank you out, but you will stay

Like a dog barking at the thinnest air
I’m talking to someone who isn’t there
A living being conjured in my brain
An agent I must practice to restrain

You’re taking over, no longer to wait
I cannot hold it so I accept my fate

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for this time at school without having to teach. It’s very relaxing and really helps me wind down.

It’s a dull, dark day today – feels like England. My eyes feel heavy and whilst not being at all unhappy, some of the joy seems to have been sucked out of everything I’ve done. Though I did just have a good chat with Dylan, which sees me writing this now, after 4pm, when I could be heading home.

Not much of any import occurred today. I did a lot of reading and avoided people, mostly. As I said to Dylan, the avoidance is not out of discomfort or anything about other people but when you are around people here at school, you tend to get roped into doing things.

Perhaps worse than that is being told you have something to do and getting tensed up about it and then changing minds have you not doing it in the end. An anxiety for nothing. Of course, it would be better to learn to deal with it without having anxiety but this avoidance works well too. Where I can quietly read and write as I please.

A Visit from an Immigration Officer – 25th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Tensions rose as the visitor appeared
The worst could happen as I had feared
Anxious times as decisions neared
Until finally the air had been cleared

The happy officer seemed satisfied
That on the forms I hadn’t lied
All true, the information supplied
Hopefully, my visa won’t be denied

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the nice immigration officer that came to visit this morning. I remember him from last time. I think he knows my case is just routine and is very kind and understanding. He was only here for ten minutes.

Yesterday was my semi-regular write-off day. The low cycle of my possible bipolarity. I woke up in the night and couldn’t get back to sleep.. Not filled with any particularly anxious thoughts but just general brain wheels spinning.

When my alarm went off, I couldn’t get up and decided to stay home – sending a message to Champ and the students that I wouldn’t have a class but would set them work to do. This was semi-successful. 2/9 did well but 1/6 not so. An indication of maturity perhaps. It’s been a lesson for all of us.

And as I was dozing through most of yesterday, a call came at about 6 pm that the immigration officer would come at 10 am this morning, therefore meaning that I wouldn’t be able to come to school today until after they had been. Unfortunate timing but all good (so long as I still get paid).

So this morning he came and all was well – the same officer as last time – a soft friendly guy who seemed content just to be doing his job and being on his way. So, almost there with this new visa application, I felt some relief and scoffed some linguine, picked up a coffee and came to school.

The visa process is an annual ritual nightmare and it was getting me down. I’m starting to contemplate being in Australia again and considering what the future might hold. Yesterday I felt so uninspired and like giving up everything, but today I feel like I’m not done yet.

“I try to relax….but then again…..oh no!”

School Of Life – 4th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Even as a teacher, I am still a student of life
My own students teach me many things
Don’t take any learning for granted
Enjoy the satisfaction new knowledge brings

7th Mar 2024 – Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 38

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the money I receive for my work. It helps us enjoy nice things when we would like.

Just looking back to this time last year I can see how happy I was with teaching at this school. Of course, it’s nothing to do with the school but to do with the students. They make it all worthwhile.

I saw that I was grateful to George for helping me get this job and it is only since then that I am aware of the differences between us. I rarely see him at school at the moment and haven’t talked to him for weeks, beyond hello and goodbye. I’m thinking I should at least make an effort to thank him again. It will be awkward but doable. It would make me feel good and perhaps do the same for him (not actually sure about that).

I had a really great experience with 2/9 this morning – the same kids I mentioned this time last year. We have been studying the story of the Eagle and the chickens, about the eagle who grows up with chickens and never gets to really achieve his potential, content just to be a chicken.

Many of the students answered the question about the moral of the story being that it is best to accept things and fit in. This took me a little by surprise and I had to explain about the different cultural thoughts around these things. As a teacher, I am still a student. I love that.

I would like to be able to explain to them more clearly about what I feel is the meaning of this story and encourage them to break free and fly higher. Awesome.

We got that attitude! – 27th June 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for the free money that the government gave us to spend on food and household items. We got spendy and went to the blue shop and pick up lots of goodies.

There are some rumours about having to teach online until the end of July or even til the end of the semester in late September. That’s tough for everyone and making me think about how to make the lessons more engaging, but I’m also feeling extremely lazy about it all too.

It’s not fun to be at school where there has been a case of Covid, and the Thai teachers still won’t wear masks. It’s much easier for me to teach from home, but at school, I have to depend on the student’s own motivation more. It’s just a technological issue, but it’s frustrating that we are not offered a choice. If I was a student, I wouldn’t bother to attend my classes – as some of the students are already choosing.

Ellen is planning more IELTS teaching coming up too. That’s nice and pays well, but I don’t always feel confident doing it and it takes a lot of planning too.

Anyway, the best things about this weekend was coffee at Utopia, getting more posts on my blog, a bit of reading and a bit of watching football. Time goes too fast though – and it’s always hot! I love aircon but real cool air would be perfect from time to time.

We got that attitude! – 5th May 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful that I got another two days off school. Only found out in the morning, before leaving. Felt good.

My brain and body are fried. 3 or 4 weeks of constant weed brownies and binging on TV series. It was getting me down.

When I found out a couple of days ago that school starts again today, I got over the initial shock and started to prep myself mentally. Last night, I became very anxious and restless just thinking about it – especially as we would probably be at school for a whole month before any students return – meaning we would likely end up sitting around doing nothing the whole time. My negative brain was kicking in.

So it was with some delight that a message came through this morning that our return was delayed a couple more days until Friday. Now, I’m trying to straighten my brain out a little more and psyche myself up for things.

I remind myself that I was getting lots done when I was in a routine and even if I didn’t enjoy the actual routine of working, I did enjoy all the benefits of some regularity. I’m coming back together.

We got that attitude! – 2nd April 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for this to be the last day of school and now I can enjoy 4 weeks away from there. I’ve enjoyed teaching this year and I’m grateful to everyone I have worked with there.

A nice way to end the school year. Reading, drinking coffee, visiting Matt, collecting marijuana which made my car smell fabulous, reading some more, taking Cap to the vet, teaching Maeve, playing guitar and now I’m going inside to watch YouTube and read some Mo Yan and comics. Tired and happy.

I’m making my case against a stack full of comics – 19th March 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

At my school I made friends with four university students doing their internships here. They are young and vibrant people and have a youthful idealism that I still seem possess, so it was easy for me to be drawn to them.

Today is their last day with us (unless they decide to stay here and work on the pitiful wages they would receive) and I made them each a special card. Unfortunately I forget to take a picture of each card but the front features the sketches attached. None of them are perfect but they should be recognisable to themselves I hope!

I really enjoyed the process of putting the cards together and having to come up with ideas for me, somewhat inspired by Austin Kleon’s artistic trials.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for all the movies I downloaded over the years. I can watch almost anything that I ever found of interest whenever I want. I can remember when the only option was to wait for the Friday night special of the Saturday horror double bills. That made movies more special but now I can find movies that I choose from anywhere in the world.

I usually do my drawings at House where the coffee is particularly addictive. I can taste it now – almost 6 hours since my last cup. In the mornings, I can’t wait to get there and take that first sip.

Anyway, Mei, who is a pretty lady who works there has seen me drawing every day and today she sidled up to me and in her best English, her vocabulary quite limited, asked if I could draw a picture of her. At first, I was a little surprised and then a little delighted – my first commission! I told her though, that she mustn’t be upset if she doesn’t like what I produce!

Subsequently, she added me in LINE and sent me a picture for me to use – I’m only at the stage of copying from pictures.

Doing all these face drawings has been an interesting challenge and I’m kinda excited to know that I will move onto other things to draw in the future and try to improve my skills all round.

I had another good online teaching lesson and I’m at home alone as Amy has gone with Takky for the weekend for a housewarming event. With no one else around I feel a lack of tension. I don’t need to think about any verbal communication unless I want to tell the cats something. Either Xbox, YouTube or comics in bed beckon.

Tomorrow I’ll be up at a reasonable time to take Dylan up to a hill tribe village for a morning walk. Good exercise.

We got that attitude! – 15th March 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for all the apps I use in the morning. Home Workout, Samsung Health, Yoga and Smiling Mind. How easy is it now to find and follow information for health benefits? We used to have to go to a GP who would just tell you you need to exercise more. I am so lucky to have these tools available to help my life.

Two weeks into March already and I haven’t been back here to write. Have I been busy? Obviously – but with what, it’s difficult to say.

Dylan and Champ asked me how my weekend was this morning and what did I do? I told them that I played with a dog, looked at the sky and watched a tree. They chuckled but I was semi-serious.

Of course, I could’ve told them we took the cats to the vet and had lunch with my in-laws but really that mundane stuff says nothing. When I mentioned watching a tree it sparked thoughts and minor conversation as to its purpose. I said trees are important, to which all agreed but, to watch one?

To be honest, I don’t believe I did watch a tree though I did look at quite a few – some nice gum trees at the cafe where we had lunch. But now I’ve mentioned it I think I will watch a tree and see what I can figure out from it.

The best thing that happened today was talking to some grade 8 students in the canteen and getting them to stop being scared to try to speak English. I also talked with Alice and Kam about next semester’s classes and it was interesting to see how more confident they are since I was teaching them a year and a half ago.

It’s very relaxing at school at the moment as this is the final week for students and no one is seriously teaching. Both students and teachers are very relaxed and happy.