Tag: school

It’s nice… it’s my mind that’s off guard – 1st July 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Kids come back to school. See how it goes.

Tigger sprays on the floor. No tissue to clean.

Good five-minute warmup workout better than yesterday. Happy – feeling happy a little tired and sleepy but awake if not alert. Some aches from drilling on the weekend. Hurt hurt. Yawn. Did things and doing things – keep going – want to do more. Have things to do at school. No problem.

Enjoying life – reading, music, TV – looking at the stars – the rain – not so much the heat! I can’t stay happy. Amy is happy most of the time. We have our world – we only let the right people in.

Weight: 79.3kg
Resting heart rate: 44

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I don’t have to do any work this morning even though the kids are back at school. I offered to do something but was told it was ok.

To-do list

  • Compliment – savour – positive wishes ✅
  • Post more TCRAH to blog ✅
  • Finish and audio and video ✅
  • Record more blog entries to catch up ✅

It was weird to have students around the school again but it was good to see some of my old students and they seemed happy to see me again. Lots of students showed their love for George and were very happy.

We ended up not doing anything again today and George thought we could get out for coffee if we really wanted to but I didn’t think that was such a good idea. I also offered myself to help with Teacher Champ but he said not to worry.

Anyway – I managed to cross off all my tasks today – reminding myself about complimenting people – JJ and Sheena.

I savoured my lunch as usual – but I put more effort into it. I also offered private best wishes to everyone though I could have thought to do that whilst stuck in traffic trying to get out of school. It took me an hour to get home today whereas it normally takes 20 minutes.

So, first day is done and we can relax into whatever it is that we end up doing. It’s good that there doesn’t seem to be much pressure on us even when we will have to teach. The environment here is very good so far.

I have been doing very short workouts in the morning, along with meditating, writing and language learning – all before going to work. It feels good to have achieved those things early in the day and it seems like they are having a beneficial effect on my thoughts.

Bronwyn told me that Hayden isn’t doing too well today. I didn’t have chance to call him during the day and he didn’t pick up when I tried when I got home. I hope he’s ok and pulls through all this.

Tomorrow, I have to renew my visa and not expecting any problems this time. It should be another simple enough day and anyway, I think I’m prepared for anything else that comes my way.

We got that attitude! – 21st May 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for opportunities and choices. Last night Takky asked again if I would be interested in teaching with him and Alan at Tessaban 6. It’s good to have options.

To-do list

  • Enjoy the day again – not much for me ✅
  • Meditate and exercise – get up early ✅
  • Can you do morning pages? The quiet voice?
  • Drink more water ½

I got up early and did some weights and stretching, as well as a quick meditation. I felt pretty good but was a bit down and subdued when I got to work. I was still thinking about last night and my worry about Amy drinking too much sometimes.

I was a bit snappy with George too. He has been so helpful for me and Dylan and introducing us to the school. Today I got a bit annoyed at him telling us the best way to do something and felt like I wanted to assert myself a little so I can show a little independence. That was all well and good but I’m not as good a subtle craftsman with words and expression as he is and I worry that I upset him a little.

I still struggle to think carefully about how my words come out and how they might be received. I’m not yet quick enough to work out a better way of expressing my assertions.

I also think that my grumpiness is caused by the discussion last night about the possibility of working with Takky and Alan. They make a good option for doing meaningful work in their school but it would mean working a lot harder than I do right now and my preference is to work less and less! It is nice to receive praise from them but I also still doubt my own abilities.

Ellen has also been talking about teaching online through students she finds for me and she talked about how competitive it is now. She asked me what my main skills were and I really wasn’t sure what to say! I don’t really know what they are!

I often feel like I can’t really do anything until I’m actually doing it and even then when I get praise, it’s still not enough to give me confidence.

I met Kru Tang this morning and she mentioned that Kru Boe missed me a lot and Tang said Boe cried about what happened with me at the school last year. One thing that has come out of that is that things seem to have improved there quite a lot and it seems to be a result of my efforts and sacrifice there.

I did feel good about that but it’s not the kind of situation I want to find myself in again and the offer to work with Takky and Alan could prove to end up the same (or is that just my anxiety speaking?).

George says I like to play mind games, implying that I think too much about some things. I don’t know. I guess I’ll think about that too.

Tomorrow I’ll try to think how to be assertive in a more gentle manner – and listen first, in full, before deciding what action I want to take.

We got that attitude! – 15th May 2020

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I am so happy and grateful for my ankle straps. They can’t fix my feet problem but they are helping a little bit.

To-do list

  • Relax into your role (in the role-play game and as a teacher) ½
  • Greet everyone – can you say more to them? ½
  • Offer your help ½

I neglected to write here over the weekend and pushing myself to do it now on Monday. Friday, Saturday, Sunday and even today were all extremely breezy.

On Friday we found out all the work we had been doing that week wouldn’t be used and that we won’t even be teaching online – just the Thai teachers will do that. No problem – I’m not thinking about the time I wasted – I still learned a few things doing it so, whatever.

And then today we turned up at school with a message that the videos we were due to make today are pushed back to Wednesday so now we have nothing to do at all!

We went for coffee for a couple of hours. Nice.

Saturday, I listened to music most of the day and Sunday, we went to Mae Sai and the big Japanese second hand shop in the morning and our first lunch out for a couple of months, It was very nice to do that and Amy and I enjoyed ourselves.

In the afternoon I started on the jigsaw that Amy had finished whilst listening to the Inner Engineering audiobook.

Ellen in Nanning has suggested using Zoom and maybe working online together.

I’ll talk with her more about that tomorrow. I sat with the Uni student teachers for lunch today and talked a lot with them. The other Thai teachers are all nice and friendly and mostly keep to themselves. It’s definitely a better feeling than in the Primary departments I worked in before.

We got that attitude! – 12th May 2020

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I am so happy and grateful to be working and getting paid but also having time to spend sitting by the river in the morning.

To-do list

  • Send card to Fern ✅
  • Speak even less today ½
  • Pick up a gift for the student teachers

At the intersection where I planned to pick up a gift, the lights were out so no one was out selling! I’ll try again tomorrow.

At times during today, I felt very tired and unable to think of things to add to conversations. At other times, I noticed when talking about my experiences in the school, then I think I was saying too much.

We got that attitude! – 11th May 2020

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I am so happy and grateful for my view of the mountains. I could be looking at concrete but I’m lucky enough to have the countryside.

To-do list

  • Do more weights and stretching
  • Send card to Fern
  • Find out about wooden masks
  • Speak little – listen more ½
  • Smile – do something nice for someone ½

Despite wanting to do more weight work both my elbows are feeling very dodgy so decided to give it a miss. I did go to my room but very specifically just to read some of my book and I didn’t think about doing any other things.

I caught myself just in time this morning as I was at the point of arguing about another stupid school admin request. I did complain a little but stopped myself before going too far. I’m not sure if Champ felt the same though. He knew his request would mean doing double work for no real reason but that’s what he’s been asked to do. We pretty much worked out a compromise though. I think it probably ended up causing him extra rather than us.

I’m starting to feel relaxed here and George is a constant reminder about how easy everything is. I’m trying to believe it.

We got that attitude! – 7th May 2020

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I am so happy and grateful to be sitting by the river this morning for a coffee.

To-do list

  • Be nice to everyone you meet ½
  • Stay calm, stay quiet, listen well ½
  • Practice a mantra ‘it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine’
  • Find out about teaching options but keep it simple! ✅
  • Drop by HomePro and check out weights ✅

I started off the day a little quiet and morose and even George’s positivity rubbed me a little the wrong way despite knowing he was right.

By the afternoon though I had turned things around in my head enough to be able to more quickly dismiss negative thoughts. I was polite to everyone I met though I realise I could be upbeat and smiling (even though wearing a mask).

I was calm and quiet though maybe I could have listened better. There Wasn’t really any occasion that necessitated using the mantra today, even though there were a couple of times I could have gotten wound up.

I got home quite energised, chopped up the fallen papaya and drank two beers which, due to the heat and humidity had very little effect. They did contribute to a more relaxed feeling though – getting back to some semi-normality is a welcome relief.

Tomorrow I should smile more and greet people in a more friendly manner. I have an idea of what I’m doing now work-wise so I can relax a little more.

We got that attitude! – 25th April 2020

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I am so happy and grateful for the temperature today. There’s a cool breeze and no need for a fan or air-con.

To-do list

  • Photos ✅
  • Fill in cracks in concrete
  • Sort more CDRs ✅
  • Clear emails – esp Stoa ✅

I haven’t been particularly happy over the last couple of weeks – all the uncertainty in the world got me thinking too much.

Tomorrow I go back to school (for now at least) and despite really not wanting to go back to work, I think the routine will be useful for me.

I am already thinking about other things I can do ie. now motivated by one thing and provoking others.

This time has not been unproductive but has sometimes been a struggle. I’m motivated to get back into writing this (in my journal) again.

Has the world gone mad or is it me? – 18th March 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I can remain calm today despite the stupidity surrounding me. I have been asked to control myself emotionally and not get too worked up.

For everyone is pained by the thought of disappearing, unheard and unseen, into an indifferent universe, and because of that everyone wants, while there is still time, to turn himself into a universe of words.

Milan Kundera, The Book of Laughter and Forgetting

To-do list

  • Pictures for Fern and Chinese teacher
  • AirAsia refunds and Agoda
  • Fill out topic overview for Champ
  • Read some Pocket articles ✅
  • Just Dance!

What an interesting and fun day today was in the end. So, after thinking I had completed everything yesterday I went to school to clock in and Amy and I went around the city doing some shopping. At about 10 am I started getting messages that I am supposed to be at school even though there is nothing to do. So I head back and apparently, there were things that needed to be fixed in the grading files – even though I had followed all their instructions and they OK’d it the day before.

So, while I’m helping them fix these I get a message from TLC saying I won’t be getting paid. I was quite proud of my fairly calm reaction and luckily kept my mouth shut long enough, and to talk with Amy. We thought it best to offer TLC that I finish with the school and forget about the money. I found the whole stupid situation quite amusing and a sad reflection on these poor people.

I helped Kru Noon and did everything she asked of me. I like her – she has been very sympathetic and she lamented and apologised for what she knows is a terrible school. She’s stuck there so I consider myself quite lucky. I came home and forgot about my tasks and challenges today as I felt like I had lost my focus due to these events. Not to worry. I’ll get back onto it tomorrow, though do feel like I am on holiday now.