Same Old Song – 12th July 2021

You were a Frankenstein
When I saw you on the screen
I was scared and curious
At the weirdness I had seen

What drew me to it
I don’t really understand
But the thing I knew is
That I wanted to start a band

Your face inspired my generation
Though now you’ll never know
You burned and crashed out
While others took the chance to grow

Ten years or so, later
And others inspired the same
They too destroyed themselves
Cos they couldn’t handle the fame

Exploited to make a buck
It happened again and again
Working hard to get where you were
But it will never be the same

Now little girls chase this dream
To get famous for a minute
As if life was a competition
And everyone has to win it

20th Sep 2024 – Submitted to Reena’s Xploration Challenge #348


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the chicken that laid the egg that Amy is about to cook in the kitchen. I hope the chicken is having a good life and not stuck in a factory farm somewhere.

Interview at pangbianr by Bob Blunt – 3rd June 2013

Interview: Shaun Tenzenmen

By Bob Blunt

[Editor’s note: Pangbianr’s man down under (actually, he lives in Beijing) Bob Blunt writes in with a report on Shaun Tenzenmen, founder of eponymous Australian DIY label/distro tenzenmen. Shaun’s one of the earliest and hardest-working proselytizers of Chinese music abroad. Between his distro, his Alternative China tumblr, his Sino-Australian Music Exchange program, and his general web omnipresence in all matters China-music-related, he is nothing short of an indispensable component of the greater Chinese rock diaspora. If you’re so inclined, you can get 30% off all Tenzenmen releases through Bandcamp during the entire month of June. And here’s Bob with some background on the man behind the Tenzenmen enterprise:]

Fans – those who love what they first hear, they find it, follow it, fuck with it, it fucks with them, then they meet friends, acquaintances, lovers, and presto- a lifetime passes and the memories are sweet, the stories are long, and no matter how many times you scratch the itch, it won’t rub out- it’s in your blood, tiger, so just enjoy it.

Fans again – the people that write fanzines, those that hunt record stores, those that collect old dusty vinyl, have crates of scratched CDs, manage their friends’ bands, and, if they are clued up enough, they may even start a label or a venue of their own, spreading some germs to different corners of the world.

Well, if you get my long-winded drift, then meet Shaun Tenzenmen, he of his own self-named label, and one responsible also for the distribution and touring of fine Chinese bands into Australia, as well as other corners of the world. He’s a trooper, a fan, and a lovely guy.

I couldn’t help first asking him if he was fucking mad to pursue such a thing and all he could say was:

“Perhaps it’s a sign of madness that I’ve never even considered the possibility. I live in Australia so it makes sense to promote music into this country though I’m pleased that I get attention from all over the world. Still, it’s not enough to make me any money, but then that’s not really my motivation.”

Bob Blunt: Of course, it isn’t your motivation, and generally it isn’t with a lot of us. We just like what we hear, and if someone else isn’t sharing the love, the motivation within us to share it somehow is the essential part of what fandom really is. Am I right?

Shaun Tenzenmen: First and foremost I’m a music fan. I’ve always liked my music a little less conventional so even in my youth I would enjoy the weirder ends of the spectrums within a specific genre. For me, it has always been about discovery, whether searching thru the racks in record stores and taking a chance at the look of a record sleeve, or scouring the internet for some obscure gem from a backwater band in a garage. There are plenty of easy ways to find Western music so it seemed less interesting to me to add to that, and instead focus on something that not many other people were doing. After moving to Australia and becoming exposed to many other different cultures, I became curious about music from the East. Japan was already known about, but how about elsewhere? I got curious, I started investigating and I started finding gems! What was particularly attractive was that some of the equivalent music scenes were still in their genesis and hadn’t become segregated by micro-genres or jaded with time. It was a return to the origins of punk and all of what was encapsulated in its ideas. Many of these musicians are dealing with the struggles of daily survival and it’s amazing to see the communities born out of this adversity. As a comparatively rich observer, I felt I could lend my support to these scenes by promoting them and making it easier for others to discover them just as I had.

Shaun left England for Australia in 1994 when he was 27, thankful that he had been exposed to a burgeoning punk scene that even made it to Dorset in the south. It was there that the seeds were sown for his love affair with punk and DIY culture, which he still can’t shake off and wouldn’t want to. Here goes his background story:

ST: Whatever romantic notions you may have about England, it’s not a great place for a young lad prone to depression to grow up in. I found solace in the punk scene as best I could living in the countryside in Dorset. During the late ’70s and early ’80s, punk was such a huge phenomenon that it had penetrated even the remotest parts of the country, so yes I’m thankful for that. I was a vocalist in a couple of bands and after growing up a little I got somewhat involved in the organization of shows with a bunch of friends. I was also writing a bit for local zines and was somewhat immersed in the DIY ethic which was born out of the Crass/anarcho-punk scene. Not really having any idea about my future at this point though, when I fell in love with an Aussie girl I accidentally found my escape!

BB: How did that transpire in Sydney then?

ST: I sought and found the local punk scene here in Sydney and quickly got involved with it, most notably putting together a complete Aussie special edition of Maximum Rocknroll. Also at this time a record label I had been involved with released some noise recordings I had made back in England and this went under the moniker of Tenzenmen – it’s a bit of a collector’s item and may finally see a re-release on cassette through a good friend in Finland. Anyway – that was the start of the name, though I wouldn’t see or use it again for another 10 years.

BB: So what spurred you on as a kid then? I’m guessing you for postpunk blood?

ST: Looking back further I can remember my mother taking me to see her boyfriend’s folk band playing in pubs around the Lake District – I was 5 years old. She had a limited music collection but I really remember the band Mud and Lonnie Donegan standing out because they were so much faster than the other things she had. Next thing I remember is I’m watching Top of the Pops, as much of the nation did every Thursday night, and these out-of-control freaks are playing “Pretty Vacant”. I tell my mum that the bass player looks like Frankenstein. I’d start taping things off the TV (cassette tape – no video back then!) and I kept listening to this track and remembering the performance. And that was it – punk rock fever set in at the tender age of 10. I was quite rigid in the music that I allowed myself to like back then and I had to sit through some awful disco music to hear the occasional punk tune, but in retrospect, I was hearing a lot of great music in that period and it all had an influence. The definition of punk was also extremely broad and that is something that has really stuck with me so it is of particular annoyance seeing kids these days just go and see one style of band play, especially on a mixed bill lineup. You don’t have to like everything you hear – but to me, it’s all punk. In fact, this is a phrase we used a lot back in England in the early ’90s as gentrification was taking place: “It’s all punk rock, innit?!”

Twenty years on from 1977 Shaun became curious about China, and particularly its influence around Sydney at that time. You indulged in all things Chinese, am I right?

ST: I started going to the library and reading whatever I could find – be it history, culture, anything. I made myself a profile on an old China Friend Finder website, signed up for [Chinese chat program] QQ and started making friends. With the help of a few of them, I took the plunge and headed over in 2001, having no idea what to expect, which in turn produced a myriad of amazing stories that I needn’t bore you or any of your readers here with. Asides what was amazing about this first trip was that it was much cheaper than I expected and I could afford to go again six months later. Of course, both these visits coincided with the May and October holidays, as that was also the only time my new-found friends had time off from work. On the second trip I picked up a weekly English-language newspaper which was only about 10 pages, but it was great to be able to find something I could actually read. In there was an article about this tiny, tiny punk scene in Beijing. Very curious, the only clue I had about it was that they hung out somewhere near a train station (whose name I forget now). Of course, I went there and only saw thousands and thousands of your everyday Chinese going about their daily lives. No pink Mohawks and no leather jackets.

Shaun then took the plunge starting Tenzenmen, and it was then that he first toured a Japanese band, Limited Express, in Australia. Through this, he was able to garner a shitload of contacts for people to help book the shows, and then…

ST: Everyone was coming to me and asking me the same questions – who do I contact here or there to book a show. I decided to start keeping a database to share this information with everyone, and as that expanded, I started investigating who would you contact in all the Asian countries to do the same thing.

BB: And China?

ST: Through all this investigation I found out what I could about those punks in China. Through an amazing set of circumstances, I ended up back in Beijing in 2007 and went to D-22, as I had a feeling this was the place to be. And boy, it sure was. What I saw there was amazing to me. In just six short years something was born out of almost nothing. And the energy and enthusiasm were infectious – I couldn’t really believe what I was seeing and it felt like I was watching history happening. Whilst some of the music was very Western-inspired, I was pleased to see a couple of bands really push the boundaries with what they were doing. I don’t remember all the bands I saw but I reckon it was all the top ten bands at the time. Can’t believe how lucky I was to have been in the right place at the right time.

BB: Now that it has been boiling for some time now, how do you see it all evolving?

ST: This is a difficult question for me to answer as I haven’t been to China for 4 or 5 years now, and as you well know, things change constantly there. I think already there is a feeling that artists need to take more control over their own destinies. Perhaps 7 or 8 years ago there was only the dream of being signed and somehow being made famous. I think these illusions were quickly shattered as everyone, as elsewhere in the world, is struggling with how to be able to make money with music these days. Piracy culture is even more prevalent in China than elsewhere, so artists know they really need to engage with their audience. There is also the two-pronged approach to promotion with bands obviously keen to market themselves abroad, but I think increasingly now bands and artists are more aware of nurturing something locally as that is really the long game.

BB: What about punk and DIY attitudes. Is there a real voice there?

ST: Continuing on this thought about developing a local scene really plays into the punk and DIY attitudes. It’s a grassroots thing and this is how I see it surviving. There will always be artists kicking against the pricks even as others fit into the mainstream or leave through frustration. There are already small waves starting to happen in the more experimental genres (who truly fit the definition of punk these days).

The ambiguity of terms like “indie” and “alternative,” and the marketing of them at will, to some extent “punk” also, can have a blurred effect on what people’s perception of style and voice really is. Shaun has some interesting thoughts on this:

ST: DIY is a very ambiguous term these days, and will probably transform in the same way “indie” has changed over the last 30 years. For me, DIY has developed out of the early punk cultures where one took control of their own work and output, and didn’t necessarily buy into the existing systems in place which generally benefit others rather than the artists themselves. If I analyze the work I do, it is not correctly called DIY as most things I do are for the benefit of the artists. I just do my best to break even and if I don’t that’s no big issue as this is my passion. When you ask about labels I assume you mean such as “punk,” “DIY,” “indie” etc – to me these are just quick identifiers that point in the general direction of a sound but it’s all very vague these days. It’s pretty useless and pointless to debate what does and doesn’t fit into one label or another. Just listen to the music and decide if you like it or not!

But your question also begs the question about labels such as Tenzenmen or EMI etc. From my point of view, I see Tenzenmen as a literal “label,” like Heinz or Louis Vitton for example. It might help identify for people something of quality or meaning when compared with something from another label. I push artists to take as much control of their work as possible. To be honest, I shouldn’t even have to do Tenzenmen – artists can do everything for themselves! And this has become the case quite often with artists coming to me saying they already have a product, everything already paid for and ready to go – nothing for me left to do except promote and distribute. These artists are keen to be part of the Tenzenmen label because they might see it as an advantageous association or they’re happy to help build a little community of understanding around the label. (Maybe there are other factors I don’t know about – I guess it’s a question for the artists.) Either way, it’s all positive and indicative of a culture of everyone pitching in to help each other to make something happen.

BB: So what now? I mean you’re a 9-5er in an office gig, where do you get your strength and longevity to do this love of your life?

ST: I’m worse than a 9-5er – I’m generally on call 24/7/365 and often have to work over weekends too. My strength is in my passion for what I’m doing. I do question my sanity on a weekly basis, and there are a lot of things to get down over, but there always seems to be something that comes along that picks it right back up for me. Right now I’m hoping to do a 7″ with a new-ish Sydney band that I’m really excited about. It reminds me of the traditional 7″ from the late ’70s – not in sound, but in style. A two-minute infectious pop song gem on the A-side and a more experimental, longer track on the B-side, which starts to stand out the more you play it. I don’t know if this will end up on Tenzenmen, but it is things like this that keep me excited. In amongst all this, there’s so much great stuff coming from China, too.

So the main struggle is time and how to wind down. I do have the help of a friend or two now – one who sends out the weekly mail list for underground/non-commercial shows in Sydney, a list which has come out weekly for the last seven years or so. And also a young web guru who helps me out with the website and also ideas to help promote what I’m doing. Ideally, I’d love to be able to start working with someone who has the same keen attitude who could keep Tenzenmen going as my involvement drops off, as I have plans to go live in South East Asia myself and kick back if I can remember how. Otherwise, I think I might have to draw a line in the sand sometime in the next few years and say, that’s it for the label for now.

[Editor’s note: I’ve been sitting on this article for far too long. In that time Tenzenmen has pivoted in the direction of focusing even more exclusively on Chinese music. I asked Bob to oblige my sluggishness in posting this by hitting Shaun up with a few quick followups:]

ST: As for now I’m pretty much doing what I’ve always been doing — helping with distributing Maybe Mars and Genjing products around Australia.

BB: A labor of love hey?

ST: It’s what it is. That’s not to say there’s no interest. I mean it is still a niche thing. As always there are things in the pipeline and who knows what is in store for this year. But really I’ve been seeing and feeling that for the last 2 or 3 years.

BB: What do you mean by that?

ST: What I mean is that things grow fairly organically and at a steady rate, but obviously not fast enough for me to make a fortune and retire though…

*The Week That Was – 2nd February 1981

Single of the week: Going Red – Some Boys

2nd February 1981
SID VICIOUS DIED
2 years ago today

3rd February 1981
4 matches in 8 days next week
UGH

4th February 1981
Beating in Mac and Fog (illegible) in rugby
HaHaHa

5th February 1981
Fog’s away
No guesses why
HA
No friends

6th February 1981
Bought book rack – I made it
It ain’t no good
I’m gonna be RICH

7th February 1981
Ipswich 3 (0) v Crystal Palace 2 (1)

8th February 1981
Finishing off Punk Greatest Hits Volume One cassette

This week’s chart-topper is: John Lennon – Woman

*The Week That Was – 29th December 1980

Record of the week: Lookin’ For Clues – Robert Palmer

29th December 1980
Expecting Graeme 1000
He didn’t come should come tomorrow
Dentist 3.20pm

30th December 1980
Album of the year:
Damned – Black Album/Machine Gun Etiquette
Cockney Rejects – Greatest Hits Vol II
Dead Kennedys – Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables

31st December 1980
Single of the year:
Dead Kennedys – Holiday In Cambodia
The Fall – How I Wrote ‘Elastic Man’

1st January 1981
The Damned and PiL are on OGWT
mixed my drinks – all the family have (illegible)

17th July 2021 – The Old Grey Whistle Test was an interesting TV show although at the time I just wanted to see punk music and not all the boring old hippie, prog, jazz shit they would include. Trying to find more information about the show on this date makes me think that they re-ran recordings from 1979 – maybe a New Year special or something like that.

As to the drinking part of this entry….I’m not sure if this would have been drinking allowed by my mother (and with family – Grandparents, visiting relatives, maybe) or perhaps stolen from my grandad’s stash out in the shed, from which I learned to enjoy Newcastle Brown Ale and practice skulling 300ml bottles of various other forms of ale.

2nd January 1981
Bought The Not The Nine O’clock News album
and Sid Vicious Family Album

3rd January 1981
FA Cup Third Round
Ipswich 1 v Villa 0

4th January 1981
Gotta finish school project
but who the hell wants to do that?
ME! I suppose

This week’s chart-topper is:
Anarchy In The UK for the 3rd time
John Peel’s Festive Fifty
Also in Top 10 – Stiff Little Fingers, Dead Kennedys, Clash, Undertones, Joy Division, Jam, Damned

The Week That Was – 26th August 1979

Record of the week: ELO – Don’t Bring Me Down
Highest entry: Buzzcocks – Spiral Scratch

27th Sept 2021 – Double checking this, I don’t believe the Buzzcocks were the highest entry but I was developing early signs of favouritism and believing what I wanted to believe.

13th June 2022 – It’s also odd now to me as Spiral Scratch originally came out in 1977. I see it was re-issued in 1979, perhaps because so few of the original were pressed at the time but that was quite an achievement to chart on the repress.

26th August 1979
Pistols Split
2p 2p 149p*

13th June 2022 – In hindsight, the Pistols had obviously split long before now but perhaps this was the end of the ongoing Great Rock N Roll Swindle and the flogging of the dead horse. The timing seems to coincide roughly with the reformation of the Professionals so this kinda makes sense.

27th August 1979
Gonna watch My Way Manhattan Murdered
2p 147p*

13th June 2022 – Can’t find anything about this now but guess it was some TV doco about Sid and Nancy. I was going all-in with this punk rock thing though still not really understanding what it was.

28th August 1979
Went to Beaulieu
Saw an Aston Martin Lagonda
2p 221p*

13th June 2022 – Not quite finished with the childhood fascination with cars, Beaulieu was always an exciting visit for a pre-teen boy. Though, funnily enough, I mostly remember the monorail and the palace house as well as the surrounding forest and gardens.

29th August 1979
Gotta old Sex Pistols posters
League Cup 1st Leg 2nd Rd
Ipswich 0-1 Coventry
2p 2p 219p*

30th August 1979
1. Cliff Richard
2. Boomtown Rats
3. B.A. Robertson
4. Roxy Music
5. EWF
6. Specials AKA
7. Darts
8. Flying Lizards
9. Ian Dury
10. Gibson Bros
2p 2p 215p*

31st August 1979
Notta lot
2p 213p*

1st September 1979
Ipswich 2-1 Stoke
2p 211p*

The Week That Was – 22nd July 1979

Record of the week: I Don’t Like Mondays
Highest entry: Sparks – Beat The Clock – 21

17th May 2022 – Well, there you go. After writing about my dislike for this song ‘I Don’t Like Mondays’ now, I liked it enough to make it my favourite record then.

22nd July 1979
When I did my leg in yesterday hurdling…well, nothing happened to any other part of my body until today, I can’t move my head
10p 2p 54p*

17th May 2022 – I recall a time I woke up and couldn’t move my head, it was stuck to one side and trying to move it was intensely painful. I’m not sure if I worked it out at the time or much later but I’m guessing it was probably related to sleeping on my front, something which I may have mentioned elsewhere, which was because I heard that Jimi Hendrix had died choking on his own vomit when laying on his back. I sure didn’t want that to happen to me.

As I write this and think about it, I don’t think that was the real reason. It was just a bad habit I had picked up as a kid, I’m sure. Sometimes, before falling asleep I would pull the sheet and blanket up over me and pretend my bed was a spaceship with the controls down the edge of the mattress. I probably played this until I fell asleep laying on my front. Star Trek repeats on TV would’ve been an influence. Maybe Dr Who as well.

23rd July 1979
I made a Star Special featuring Sid Vicious
2p 17 1/2p* 40p*

17th May 2022 – I’m guessing a Star Special was some kind of feature in a magazine like Smash Hits or something like that. As they would never do one on Sid, I did it myself. The genesis of my DIY journey?

24th July 1979
Why ain’t Sex Pistols No. 1?
2p 55 1/2p*

25th July 1979
Made an ??? by Steve Jones. Great
Must get Boomtown Rats I Don’t Like Mondays
2p 2p 51 1/2p*

17th May 2022 – My bad handwriting. I’m dreading looking at some future diaries for their inexplicable, illegible scrawl, some blotched by humidity or damp.

26th July 1979
1. I Don’t Like Mondays
2. Tubeway Army
3. Silly Games
4. Dave Edmunds
5. Dooleys
6. Knack
7. Chic
8. Sex Pistols
9. Lady Lynda
10. Supertramp
2p 47 1/2p*

27th July 1979
Part 6 of the Dickies saga
I GOT IT.
Look at 25th July. Well. I did.
Part 7
2p 45p*

17th May 2022 – The Dickies first album had a huge effect on me. They played fast and with great melody. It was fun and frantic and featured great songwriting on their originals and also made the covers they did their own, fitting seamlessly into this set of songs. I didn’t even know ‘She’ was a cover until much much later. The picture on the album cover was also so cool. These were days of pouring over every minute detail to fill in the blanks. Cool crazy haircuts and clothes. Without a lyric sheet, I would try to discern the furiously fast words as best I could so I could also sing along. Were these people even real?

28th July 1979
Dunno
First Dunno since 27th June
4.4 weeks. 32 days.
2p

The Week That Was – 1st July 1979

Record of the week: C’mon Everybody – Sex Pistols
Highest entry: Chic – Good Times – 22 (What crap!)

7th May 2022 – Well, I’m going to take my word for it and not even going to bother checking out the Chic song again. Could C’mon Everybody really be by the Sex Pistols? Were the Pistols the Pistols without John Lydon? Obviously, moneymakers thought they could use the name but when it comes to the actual ‘real’ band, they only really had about 18 songs in their catalogue. For a band that had such a great impact on musical culture (culture in general, really) it seems an incredibly small recorded legacy. Are there other bands with such a minuscule recorded output that was such a huge influence?

The video has Sid riding his motorbike without a helmet, which was SO punk rock to 11-year-old me. I couldn’t understand how he was allowed to do that, to get away with it! I’m going to watch it again in a minute but the footage I remember is of him riding through English country lanes and that takes me back to the time of doing the same, pushbikes and then motorbikes (with helmet, of course!), about 5 or 6 years later.

I went on a bike ride this morning, around a lot of country lanes here in Chiang Rai and despite the different types of foliage, it’s quite a similar experience. As I was riding I was thinking about going back to the UK and hitting up Rupert and Jeremy, hiring some 50cc mopeds and hooning around our old haunts.

1st July 1979
Yesterday I was in bed all the time because of me leg (see Friday 24th June)
2p

2nd July 1979
POP DAY
Making out my pop records that I’m playing
2p

3rd July 1979
Used a spud to make C L A S H, you know, cut-outs.
2p
2p^ not in debt

7th July 2022 – My love of the Clash was getting creative. I also made some tiny bread buns of those letters and at school made them out of wood whenever there was free bits leftover from making….whatever we were supposed to be making. I was never handy with tools and soon gave up on woodwork and metalwork classes.

4th July 1979
I’m actually saving money
If you look back to Feb 9, the middle statement has become false
2p
4p^

7th May 2022 – This situation wouldn’t last!

5th July 1979
1. Tubeway Army – Are Friends Electric?
2. Squeeze – Up The Junction
3. Janet Kay – Silly Games (what crap!)
4. Anita Ward – Ring My Bell
5. Gerry Rafferty – Night Owl
9. Sex Pistols – C’mon Everybody
2p
6p^

6th July 1979
Sports Day This year Last year
Long Jump 1 1
75m 1 1
150m 1 1
Cricket Ball 1 1
Relay 1 2
2p 8p^

7th May 2022 – I could’ve been a contender, I suppose. There wasn’t much support for a dumb kid from the backwaters of England and there wasn’t enough internal motivation. I didn’t believe in myself, no one else believed in me and so it goes.

7th July 1979
Borg vs Tanner
6-7 6-1 3-6 6-3 6-4
Ipswich’s last 3 seasons places
6.3.6
2p 10p^

7th May 2022 – I liked Bjorn Borg for some reason. He seemed humble.

The Week That Was – 15th April 1979

Record of the week; Supertramp – The Logical Song
Highest Entry: Bee Gees – Love You Inside Out – 25

7th Mar 2022 – The twisty bendy Logical Song shows my early interest in prog-ish music. The sound of this song made me happy. I like music that challenges but that also makes me laugh with excitement. So, not much into the Bee Gees at the time. I do have their early albums to check out as they were apparently much different to their popular hits around this time.

15th April 1979
Going up North today
2p

7th Mar 2022 – I don’t recall driving back up North with Jean at any time and can only think we took the National Express, though I don’t have any memory of travelling with her on the bus either.

I do believe it was on this bus journey that, on the way to London, there was a mouthy brat further up the bus, a boy probably around my age. He was leaning over the back of his seat, retelling a movie he saw recently about a skydiver whose parachute had failed. People found him standing upright in a field, held upright by his bones having split through his feet and shoved like stakes into the ground.

I also believe it was on this trip that we were waiting at Victoria Bus Station in the evening and I bravely went off for a walk around the outside of the building and coming towards me in the opposite direction was the spitting image of Sid Vicious, in a grey woollen poncho. I guess many punks at the time copied his image and I’m not certain if I was aware that he had already died.

16th April 1979
Playing cards with Paul til 2:30am

7th Mar 2022 – Paul had lodged in our house in Whitehaven for as long as I can remember. He probably lived there right up until mum sold it a few years later. It was a four-bedroom, three-storey, end-of-terrace house with a garden. Maybe I mentioned it already. 20 Hugh Street, Bransty. I asked mum how much she sold it for and I couldn’t believe it was only 13,000 pounds! The north of England was definitely in a different freaking financial hemisphere compared with the south.

Anyway, Paul (and George, a canny Scot) entertained me despite our age difference, he was probably around his early to mid-twenties at this time. Our card game of choice was Hunt The Cunt, more commonly known as something like Chase The Queen, I forget now because we always just called it by its nastier name.

This was the hill my mum had to drag me up a couple times a week when she went shopping in town where the only supermarket was.
The typical back alley of British terraced houses where kids could and would get up to as much mischief as possible. It was quite daring to go into allies where we didn’t live or know anyone. This particular alley was where I first tried and failed to ride a pushbike that was far too big for me.
20 Hugh Street as it is now (2022). They’ve got a new door and have walled off the garden. The path also looks like it has been tarmacked whereas in my time it was just dirt and perfect for games of marbles. And gone is the old traditional green lamp post that used to have arms near the top. Was it just to stop kids from throwing tyres over it? Cos it didn’t work!

17th April 1979
Quite good day!

7th Mar 2022 – I had lost pretty much all traces of my northern accent by now but it was a kind of comforting sound to me, like a return to home, to something far away but familiar. I think these days were quite good because there was no school and I probably badgered my mum into generously buying things that I wanted.

18th April 1979
Quite good day again!

19th April 1979
1. Art Garfunkel – Bright Eyes
2. Racey – Some Girls
3. Squeeze – Cool for Cats
4. Jacksons – Shake Your Body
5. Milk and Honey – Hallelujah

7th Mar 2022 – The Squeeze song is classic, they had some great singles, I should probably check out their albums. I dig the Jacksons early stuff these days too. Not into any Michael Jackson though. Ever.

20th April 1979
Hi! Mum
Gave mum a tape measure
2p

7th Mar 2022 – Mum’s birthday and no doubt she had to give me the money to buy her her own present! She probably had to go and buy it too! Well, at least she got what she wanted

21st April 1979
2
Bolton 2-3 Ipswich
2p 2p

7th Mar 2022 – 2 – more long-forgotten secret codes.

The Week That Was – 18th March 1979

Record of the week: Car 67 – Headlight
Highest Entry: Art Garfunkel – Bright Eyes – 27

28th Dec 2021 – I think I checked out the Car 67 song again back when I initially wrote this entry and now, can’t remember a damn thing about it. Art Garfunkel though – ugh. These were the times of realising that popular music was quickly becoming something I hated. I don’t hear this song anywhere in popular culture these days either so perhaps it has been justly forgotten.

18th March 1979
Clocks forward
Boring day
Really
Most days are now
2p 1p

19th March 1979
Same as yesterday
2p

28th Dec 2021 – It’s a shame I couldn’t find anything to write about, or thought that was worth writing about at the time. It was definitely an effort to try to put anything down here every down and there would be long periods when that became normal. I don’t think I have any diaries between 1986 and 1994. I seem to be fairly regularly making 3p per day – making my mum a cup of tea and something else, maybe washing up, though I can clearly view the sink and often still have dreams in this kitchen I don’t recollect ever washing up!

20th March 1979
Got new pair of shoes, wedged
2p 1p

28th Dec 2021 – I was probably costing my mum a fortune with my dodgy feet. These ‘wedged’ shoes would’ve also made me more conscious of standing out from everyone else. It felt like a negative for me and I didn’t appreciate at the time that I was receiving help from others. I found my life to be a hell that everyone wished on me. A lack of self-esteem. I can’t really identify where I developed this from. Perhaps from not having a father figure around? I did often wonder how different my life would have been if my father had been alive for my childhood.

21st March 1979
European Cup Quarter Final (2nd Leg)
Barcelona 1-0 Ipswich
Colehill P-P Cranborne
2p 1p

28th Dec 2021 – There were three middle schools in the catchment area for Queen Elizabeths (High School) in Wimborne. I was at St. Michaels (up the hill in Colehill), Allenbourne was down in the town and Cranborne covered all the rest of the countryside to the north. My house was along one of the catchment borders, or thereabouts. A bit further north and I would have been going to Cranborne too. The bus route is etched in my memory and it always weirded me out that we drove a long way down one road to pick up a couple of kids and then the driver had to reverse into a side track and drive on back again. It felt like it added so much extra time to the journey but it was really only a few minutes.

Throughout this school year and the next, I developed a habit of getting up earlier and earlier, even before the TV programs started in the morning at 6am. If it was too early for TV I would find something on the radio. I would eat biscuits for breakfast with a cup of tea. I encouraged my mum to buy more and more different types of biscuits and I would eat two of each, lining them up in the order of least tasty to delicious. I would take a bite and suck in a mouthful of tea and feel the biscuit crumble in my mouth dispersing its taste within. On and on…if I ran out of tea before biscuits I would make another cup.

22nd March 1979
1. Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive
2. Elvis Costello – Oliver’s Army
3. Lene Lovich – Lucky Numbers
4. Sex Pistols – Something Else
5. The Real Thing – Can You Feel The Force?
2p 2p

Sid Vicious had died in Early February and there was still money to be made.

28th Dec 2021 – Seeing Sex Pistols videos on TV was thrilling as all hell to me. Who were these crazy people? There was nothing I could identify with from my beautiful green countryside surrounds. I thought Sid Vicious came from another planet. More and more I wanted to be like that. To shock, upset and offend. This would develop much more strongly in the next school year, got me in a stack of trouble and ultimately confused me and made me bitter. It was a lot of fun at the time, a way to express myself and I soon discovered how boring and straight most people are.

At this stage though, I was just beginning to dive in. I was still teetering on the edge of being a good student and being a rebellious one. It’s fantastic to recognise these exact same traits in some of the kids I teach now. I try my best to encourage them but, fuck, I know exactly what I was like at their age and wouldn’t listen to anyone – especially teachers!

23rd March 1979
Rev.’s got more boring since a couple of weeks ago
2p 2p

28th Dec 2021 – Rev. must have been Religious Education but what the hell did the word Rev. actually mean? I wonder if subjects are still called this?

24th March 1979
Liverpool 2-0 Ipswich
10p

28th Dec 2021 – 10p – I was a money-making machine! It wouldn’t last.