The Neon Consensus – 9th November 2025

Let the water run to make its song
echo within these four enclosed walls;
Dreams confound the comforts of the dark.
The cull begins as the winter calls.

Bowed to god made of trivial light,
now singing for a dollar and change.
In the cold and damp, the neon’s glare
reflects this consensus, fake and strange.

Submitted to unknown intentions,
stood together in isolation.
The dark is always waiting nearby
when confusion led to temptation.

Misunderstandings silently grow,
written on the walls of silver and gold.
In the darkness deep under the ground
are where the prophets’ stories are told.

Teardrops fall like rain just out of reach,
to sprout the seeds with the words to teach.

For the Poets and Storytellers United prompt #202 this week, the subject was ‘what I love about the dark’, which led me to investigate the Simon and Garfunkel song ‘The Sound of Silence’, as the first line ‘Hello, darkness, my old friend’ came to mind. My poem references the song, but also the annotations found at genius.com that analyse the meaning of the song. Overall, the poem highlights both the positive and negative aspects of the dark.

Here’s how my poem came together (which I feel like explaining today):

Stanza 1:

  • Lines 1 and 2 reference this quote from Paul Simon:
    I used to go off in the bathroom because the bathroom had tiles, so it was a slight echo chamber. I’d turn on the faucet so that water would run — I like that sound, it’s very soothing to me — and I’d play. In the dark.
    Change carries a double meaning here.
  • Line 3 references this annotation of the second part of the first verse of the song:
    These lines lead us to believe that Simon had an inspiring dream, the vision of which can be easily recalled when he seeks out the comfort within the darkness.
  • Line 4 references the Kennedy assassination, which is thought to be part of the inspiration for the song.

Stanza 2:

  • Lines 1-4 reference the lyrics and annotations for the second verse
    …the author has a dream about ten thousand people bowing to a god they made of neon light. The god represents the fake and shallow culture they are building on pop stars and the dollar bill. The author feels as if he is the only one who is not content with living in the fake, trivial culture that was stated.

Stanza 3:

  • Line 1 references this annotation
    Silence refers to submission. He reveals how people so foolishly follow rulers without actually knowing a ruler’s true intentions and background.
  • Line 2 references this annotation
    …the song’s theme about people’s isolation and failure to communicate with or understand each other. 
  • Lines 3 and 4 continue this idea but try to show that the darkness is there for either ill or good, and it’s up to the individual how they choose to deal with it. Using it as a place to grow and learn, or to remain in ignorance.

Stanza 4

  • Lines 1 -4 reference this annotation
    “Writing on the wall” is a biblical reference that refers to a prophecy of doom. Daniel 5:5 tells the story of an arrogant king of the Babylonians who worshipped gods of gold and silver. 
  • Silver also references the subway cars from the lyric in verse 5
    And the sign said, “The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls…”

The couplet

  • These two lines are a rewrite of three lines in verse 4 of the song, and attempt to find a better way of managing the darkness
    “Hear my words that I might teach you
    Take my arms that I might reach you
    but my words, like silent raindrops, fell…”

Watts Right – 27th May 2025

1. Cinquain

The rock

Cold, unyielding

The best contribution

Sits watching a world in turmoil

Solid

2. Quatrain

Airs punctured by gasoline,
a perfume of our cancers;
shout out, the suffering scream
louder than any answers.

Once unseen, I will surprise;
smash me, I will not succumb;
bitter salts anaesthetise,
remaining forever numb.

Stagnant water starts to clear
passing through old time’s filter;
endlessly, year after year,
re-righting the Earth’s kilter.

I meditate in silence,
breathing calmly, taking stock;
to counteract the violence,
I am an island, a rock.

Submitted for a final AllPoetry assignment. I tried to incorporate the senses into this poem more than I would normally do. This whole poem is also inspired by an Alan Watts quote:

“As muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone, it could be argued that those who sit quietly and do nothing are making one of the best possible contributions to a world in turmoil.”

For the last line – apologies to Simon and Garfunkel.

Syllable count per line – quatrain : 7
Rhyme scheme: Quatrain – alternating rhyme and Cinquain
Rhyme types: mostly perfect rhyme
Personification: I am a rock!
Senses: smell (gasoline/perfume), sound (shout/scream), sight (unseen) touch (smash me/numb), taste (bitter salts)
Alliteration: shout/suffering/scream, any/answers, unseen/surprise/smash/succumb
Assonance: shout out/louder, unseen/surprise/succumb, stagnant/starts, I/silence, meditate/in, counteract/the, am/an/a
Consonance: salts anaesthetise, re-righting
Metaphor/simile: The first stanza is a metaphor for the chaos of the world. ‘Once unseen’ – rocks are not something noticed but always there. ‘Bitter salts’ – lick a rock, it tastes salty. ‘Numb’ – rocks have no feelings. “passing through old time’s filter” – mineral water cleaned as it passes through rocks. “re-righting the Earth’s kilter” – no matter what mankind does, the Earth will sort itself out.