Tag: sleepy

Mandala – 10th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Wild chaotic geometry

Vague approaches to symmetry

A universe in the hand

Reintegration as planned

Womb world thunderbolt

Ritual sensory assault

Burning up ignorance

A ring of fire confluence

Diamonds in illumination

Aspects of individuation

Graveyards to lotus leaves

Here the mandala conceives

Inspired by the image above for Reena’s Xploration Challenge #337 and a quick perusal of the online Britannica entry for mandala.

Today I’m feeling:

A little bit tired and unmotivated.  With no kids at school for the rest of the week I have lots of time to read, write and prepare more lessons but now I’m sitting here in the cafe I kinda just feel sleepy!

Amy had a sore throat a couple of days ago and mine is starting to tickle a little bit too.

I have to go to the dentist at 11.30 but hopefully it won’t be too expensive and shouldn’t need any work done.

Today I’m grateful for:

A decent, long downpour which has finally seen the temperature become more bearable.  Ironically, I’m not at school to enjoy it and everything will be back to scorched and sweaty by next week would be a pretty good guess.

Still, it was nice to feel the cold rain on my skin when I was outside looking around the garden.

The best thing about today was:

My phone being ok (see below) and also the dentist telling me everything was looking ok and them cleaning up some plaque for me.

I wasn’t too surprised when the bill was 800 baht, so I sent through the payment via my phone but then the receptionist realised that she had given me the wrong invoice and that, in fact, today was free of charge.  So she refunded me in cash!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy sent me across from the cafe to get some cookie bags from the bakery and I was leaving my phone fell out of my pocket and something happened that has made it difficult to use.  I’m hoping that it is nothing too big and expensive to fix but it will be a further strain on my budget this month.

(Later) I managed to restart the phone and everything was back to normal which is something else that I’m grateful for today.

Something I learned today?

I’m learning lots of little pieces of interesting information from my grade 12 kids with their oral diary.  

Beam told me that he is really interested in human behaviour and psychology and wants to study that at university.

For What It’s Worth – 29th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Tell me what you want me to say
And I’ll say it
Just slip a dollar into my hand

The great shepherds of society
Created an illusion of fear
To maintain their demand

For whatever it’s worth
I’m just as happy as all the other people
I know

So drop some silver in my pocket
Buy me now
Before I go

Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt – buy now.

Today I’m feeling:

Really tired again.  It feels like I just can’t get enough good unbroken sleep.  Cap woke us both up again last night, vomiting up some food.  

I’m starting to feel really concerned for him now.  He’s not eating or drinking enough and is all saggy skin and bones.  It feels like this might be his final days but I hope I’m wrong.  

Maybe I’m just being overly cautious after being less concerned with Kim Chi last year.

Today I’m grateful for:

The people who found Leo after he ran off this evening and Amy had to go and ride around to search for him. Without luck, she then just happened to check a local online message board where someone had posted that they’d found a lost dog. That crazy Leo!

The best thing about today was:

Watching more of the 3 Body Problem. I don’t have energy for much at the moment and am already in bed at 8 pm.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After a couple of coffees, I cancelled meeting up with Matt and figured to go to school and sign the documents to get paid before going home to catch up on sleep. Nancy sent a reminder to go to sign the documents so that was my trigger to leave. 

It was already about 36 degrees and with the bad air and lack of sleep, I was super dizzy, especially after walking up to the fourth floor where waiting for me was absolutely no one. 

I was about to pass out and couldn’t wait around and so left a message with Nancy saying there was no one there and I was sick and leaving.

When I got home there was another message from Nancy saying that if I didn’t sign today I would be paid late, without giving any indication of what late meant.

I flaked into bed but couldn’t get a good rest, sleeping for maybe only twenty minutes. I tried to get Kru Mai to go and sign for me. Why not! Why do we even need to go through this nonsense every month?

At three-forty, looking like there was no other way around it I decided to drive back just to sign their paper.

I took this picture because this tree at school is blossoming and looked great with the sun rising and the school building in contrast.

Wonderland – 25th October 2023

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Pinned to the floor, mouth full of dirt
Listening carefully for the next scream or roar
Unable to feel hurt, waiting for a hand
To pull back up to the new wonderland

No feeling in the toes, eyes red and wet
Blood pulses slowly down the nose
It’s not over yet, a forever-shifting sand
Every day a vision of this wonderland

Darkness surrounds, night is as day
Sharing space in these sacred grounds
Desperate again to play, desperate again to stand
Amongst the ruins of this wonderland

In and out of sleep, time for final dreams
All the promises no one was able to keep
Who knows what it means when it was all planned
And the devils came to play in this wonderland

24th Jun 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango

Today I’m feeling:

Sleepy but alive. As my body slowly revives from another rude awakening I’m sitting outside watching birds searching through the long grass for snacks or useful detritus for nest building, which I’m grateful to see they are taking full advantage of all our trees and safe nooks.

Today I’m grateful for:

Aing, Now and their two friends who helped look after our house and cats and best of all were very quiet and gentle so that us and our cats weren’t disturbed.

The best thing about today was:

Sushi buffet for dinner that I had saved up my hunger for, only eating a couple of pieces of bread around lunch time.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Having our house back to ourselves has set Amy off on a cleaning frenzy despite being tired and full after dinner and this leads to lots of ‘do this, get that, get this, do that’ to which I oblige and after a little while say ‘anything else?’ hoping that there isn’t!

Something I learned today?

Talking with my student Baipad I found out that she is part Lahu and of Chinese descent. I only discovered this when she told me she was staying in a village somewhere and when I looked it up it was the Lahu village that Bruno and I stopped at the time we rode out to Tha Ton.

What’s an opinion I held for a long time but changed?

When I was younger I ignorantly believed in freedom and anarchy. I say ignorantly in that I just didn’t know enough about it but I believed in the good of people in general, to help each other and make it work.

Age brings cynicism! I understand the appeal of less governance but ultimately I feel as if it is from the perspective of Western self-centredness and that leaves a lot of places for some to be left behind. Over time I’ve come to appreciate the ‘benevolent dictatorship’ of China, if I can call it that.

A well-governed country may not satisfy everyone when it comes to freedom but it seemed ironic to me when visiting that there was a feeling of more freedom in China than there wass in Australia (though I appreciate this was speaking as a guest).

Thailand is also way more relaxed in its rule of law, which has its upsides and downsides, of course. The government here is also not quite so benevolent to its people, or as well organised.

Governments that are corrupted are the scourge of the planet. It doesn’t matter what form the take. Corruption is the key.

Ritual Of Panic – 6th February 2023

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There’s no rest for the wicked
And no rest for those of virtue
Adrift in a world that never sleeps
The feeling of dread is gonna get you

Gasps of dismay at faint sleights
A skin now brittle and thin
This ritual of panic has become
The default state to be in

Today I’m feeling:

Relaxed as no classes today but maybe too relaxed as I’m sleepy.

Today I’m grateful for:

The wide variety of food available especially on market days like today. I got some deep-fried fish with riceberry rice and chopped unripe mango covered with chilli fish sauce. My mouth is watering as I’m writing this!

The best thing about today was:

Sitting in House for 3 hours drinking coffee and adding blog entries, finishing off the old diary with my gig list.

Tomorrow I start adding 1983 entries and consider figuring out other gigs I went to after 1992 which is when I stopped writing them down.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Nothing has needed to be completely in my control today. It has passed by reasonably uneventfully!

Something I learned today?

The French live 6 years longer than Americans on average and work fewer hours and produce one-third more than the British. I’m not sure how this was calculated, or even true, but I’m siding with the French against my own birthplace!

What do you think gets better with age?

I’m going to treat this as what gets better as I age and that is wisdom. As it should. There’s something wrong if you are not getting wiser.

I took this picture because the dry winter has ignited a growth spurt in our cactuses. They are going crazy.

The weekend disappeared in some kind of rush of nothing in particular.
Domestication took over as I cleaned up around the house as Aing and Now arrived on Sunday morning and I should at least make everything presentable somehow.
And the biggest chore at the moment is watering the garden daily as it is so dry.
Amazing how quickly months and months of rain can disappear even in winter.
I happily received a nice online order with the release of the Ad Interim album and anticipating another release from a cool band from Istanbul that approached me recently.
And, in my endless search for interesting music, I found a band called Focusrights whom I felt immediately compelled to contact though they weren’t able to commit to anything.
I still get off on the feeling of discovery of music that gets my heart pumping.

We got that attitude! – 3rd April 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for a nice long refreshing sleep. So deep I don’t remember any dreams – still sleepy now with eyes unable to focus properly. Time to do a little exercise and shake the cobwebs loose.

Kim Chi was acting strangely last night, looking scared and hiding herself away. This morning she didn’t show up at breakfast time and by 11.30 Amy and I were both starting to worry as we leave tomorrow morning for 5 days.

Finally, Amy found he hiding behind our long grass outside our gate. I quickly saw that she had a big, clean hole as a wound in her side so we had to bundle her up and take her straight to the vet where she will have to stay until we get back. They said that the wound was not infected but just needed to be cleaned and checked daily.

In balance I think animals bring more joy than worry but as you get more the potential for problems seems to increase. I still like the idea of a dog but I’m not sure of the wisdom of having one.

*Edumacation – 2nd June 1998

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Email with TLJ

S: TLJ
Hey, thanks for the education last night in Dial-Up Networking and Telnet – you’re a Unix Queen! I did some more mucking around last night changing the prompt and setting up aliases. They only keep the setting for that session though. I want them as default – I know they’ll be a setting somewhere – do you know where it is – could be in the /usr/passwd file maybe. Anyway, enough of that techo talk. thanks for a wonderful night last night and I’m glad you din’t get too upset at yr thrashings at gin rummy! i was very sporting in my loss at Spit I thought.
I had a dream last night that I had a big toenail – just on the left foot.

catch ya honey. hope you’re having a great day, Shaun went all the way, with tlj!!!!!!!!!

I like this – can we do it again?
Again?
Again?
Again….
Shaun

T: alright sweety, here’s how i think you can do it. vi or pico your .cshrc file and set up aliases in there – for example, an entry could be
alias dir ‘ls-la’, or
alias exit ‘bye’ or something like that. if this doesn’t work, i don’t know what will – is this what you wanted to know?

i hope this email has been informative and helpful. now i gotta print some stuff off.

speak to you later, love tlj

S: TLJ
Another quick Q then. What is your .cshrc file? Also how do I do a list of .cshrc files from the root searching all subdirectories (so I can find where this file is stored?) Yes, what you wrote below is what I want to do
you are a legend – very informative and helpful – thank you baby
Yes, please speak to me later.
Shaun

T: the file is stored in my /student/tl** directory. it is a hidden file, thus you have to do a dir or ls-la on it as ‘-a’ shows all hidden files. does this answer part of your question? oh – you mean on your machine????? umm try ls-al anyway, and i’ll get back to you if this doesn’t work ok?
glad to be able to help in any way.
love tlj

T: sorry i mean alias bye exit as is the one in my .cshrc file.

S: Does this mean you can type bye at the command prompt and it will execute exit?

T: if you want you can pico my .cshrc file but don’t fuck with anything ok? punk…….

S: Only with you sweety – I don’t wanna pico yr files anyway – not after my telling off last night!

T: was pretty jovial this morning and wanted to jump up and down and see you

S: Ahh, wish you coulda…

T: but just feeling very sleepy now.

S: Me too….zzzzzz

T: have a great time tonight, TLJ

S: I’m debating whether to go or not….maybe find out how much it costs first…YOU have a great time tonight too – whatever you are doing
Shauny

T: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you’re getting the hang of it – so am I actually. i thought i’d only learnt to email at uni…
tlj

S: TLJ
Decided not to go tonight – I’m too tired and should save some cash (I can watch DC instead!). I want to go next Tuesday to the Iron Duke (perhaps you can go to that one?). Hope yr having a good day and hope you get yr SM finished today.
Shaun

T: i think tonight sounds even better – aren’t all those noise bands you love so much playing??? i think you’d really have fun. anyway, i’m sorry you’re not going…….i wish i could go.
love tlj
ps – any more luck with .cshrc thing????

T: wanted to come see you, but was busy printing

S: What kind of piss-poor excuse is this???? So you’d rather be printing than coming to see me. I hope it was double-sided colour and not some cheap B+W you picked up on the corner.

T: and now it’s 1:30 and I’ve got to get home to do sm before josh comes.

S: Read that last sentence back (with a perverted mind)….I really don’t wanna think about it.

T: hope i can see you tomorrow

S: YOU BETTER

T: love ya sweety, tlj – ring ya from home (and bed)

S: You did – thank you!