Tag: Spinning Visions

I Don’t Want To Go Home – 18th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

A smooth glossy stone
In the palm of my hand
Face reflected on the surface
Curious to understand

Who I have become
Where I have been
Slow motion, underwater
Ripples along the stream

A soft peaceful memory
The curtain closed the stage
Coming up for breath
Living a new age

I don’t want to go home
The glitter and gold
That got me here
Is only half the story told

Inspired and paraphrased from this post at Spinning Visions
14th Feb 2025 – Shared with No Theme Thursday and the picture above.

No Life Ordinary – 17th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

In love with trash trucks and bar signs
Dirty sidewalks and chaotic lines
Stepped on dead rats riding the rail
Soothing sirens announce a bloodied trail

A desperate reach to grab the air
The rambling mind, a heart laid bare
Spilt milk and the ding, ding, ding!
A date with disaster or a song to sing?

In love with bar signs and trash trucks
The struggle to enjoy a couple more bucks
A bustled hustle each patron employs
The sound of a memory, a beautiful noise

Shouts from the wet streets are rising
Up the five floors exercising
A cozy space amongst the debris
Dreamt by dreams, it’s no life ordinary

Inspired and phrases borrowed from this post at Spinning Visions.

Across The Room – 2nd September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

It’s understood now
– Standing on the other side
– – Art hung in splendour

Squinting at the past
– Gone with the flow of the tide
– – Returned to sender

Perspective requires
– A distance beyond the known
– – Coughing up sunshine

A new world beckons
– The antithesis of home
– – Seemingly sublime

Caught in the moment
– Reflections in the window
– – As the train pulls in

Clawing the way out
– Of all the worlds goes to show
– – The jewel in the crown

Inspired and paraphrased from this post at Spinning Visions
13th Nov 2024 – Shared with Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge – Distance

The City – 24th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

You can have me over and over again
But your hands will never reach all the way around
Your honeymoon here might seem fantastic
But soon enough your feet will touch the ground

Here now where it all seems right
Sipping coffee and getting scribble down
Trees dance shadows across the windows
And soon enough this will be your town

Inspired by this post at Spinning Visions and submitted to Living Poetry – city

Today I’m feeling:

Not so bad.  I woke up a little unsure how I was feeling but pushed myself up and out of bed with a surprise alarm and kick-started myself with exercise that I really didn’t want to do but glad that I did.

I got inspired to write some new lessons after finding a podcast for teen girls, which I can easily adapt for my classes.  I guess I’m feeling a little more invigorated than the last few days at home.  I know that this is trying to tell me something but I’m kinda trying to ignore it!

Baipad didn’t come to school today, which is not unexpected.  She had messaged Fahmai already that she was crying all last night.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru Mai reminding me that we needed to have 50% of our grading scores in the system. I saw a message in Thai about this at the weekend so I knew it was something being done but usually I don’t do anything unless instructed in English.

I had already been filling in scores over the last couple of months anyway, so it was no big deal to fill out the rest with the four hours I had free today.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling in control.  I felt above average all day without any wild highs or low lows and I felt that I could deal with everything that got thrown at me, which wasn’t much anyway.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Tomorrow is another event day and some of my grade 12 students are generally busy preparing things for it.  They asked me for free time tomorrow and I consented on the condition that they must submit a small piece of work by the end of the day for me.

It’s hard to consistently teach some of these classes as there are always students missing, being taken off to do other projects.  I’m getting used to it now.

Something I learned today?

Wipping came to class late and fake-crying because Kru Tan had scolded her and the team that performed in the drama competition a couple of weeks ago (despite coming second in the whole northern region!).

This evening I messaged Wipping to ask why they were still talking about it, assuming that only the winners went on to the next stage of the competition. She told me that the top 3 go on, so they will be under more pressure from Kru Tan to perform well. 

My guess is Kru Tan is old school, motivating them with threats, bullying and pressure.  All of the students involved are down and depressed about it but I’m trying to get them to deal with it and deflect away from that method of motivation.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Every Wednesday morning now I sit in on the class that used to be assigned to me and help the students with their work.  I’m glad that the Thai teacher is ok with it because it fills a bit of my day rather than just sitting in the cafe until 2.30 and it’s a no pressure class, I can just help when I want and the rest of the time I’m preparing other lessons.

After school, I was starving and decided that I would ride up to the uni market to get food and could drop in on Baipad on the way to see how she was.  Perhaps a day off was what she needed because she seemed happy and over any residual grief from yesterday.  I took both her and her sister up to the market and we all got ourselves fed.

I took this picture on Saturday because I wanted to make a joke with Baipad and Jan (walking by with NamHom), saying ‘Look, three buffalo and NamHom.’ Buffalo is the slang word for ‘stupid’ here.

The Long Way Around – 5th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

There are things you should and shouldn’t do
No matter what you want
Then there are things you don’t want to do
That you don’t wish to flaunt

On the other side of our innocence
Character is constructed
No longer sailing through green lights
The way ahead obstructed

Things are one way until they’re not
Are you willing to accept?
The challenges being laid down for you
Are creating self-respect

Those broken shards poking at your feet
Makes the path ahead seem longer
But taking responsibility for your life
Makes the foundations stronger

Inspired, borrowed and paraphrased from this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

Flat and down.  I have no classes today as the kids will study online and no one has asked us farang teachers to do that.  I still had to come to school to sign in though and now sitting at House, reading and writing.

I’m reading about resilience as I plan to teach about it in the future and I’m doing my best to keep myself up but the uncertainty at home has me rattled.  I know that I have to do some things to improve the situation.  

Reading about resilience this morning made me consider that I am very good at the world view, dealing with big generalities but not so good at the one-on-one and personal.  I need to make some changes.

Today I’m grateful for:

There being no kids at school today, just a few kicking around doing various sports, allowing me free time, in the morning to read and write and in the afternoon to run around sorting things out (see below).

The best thing about today was:

Getting both our bike and car tax sorted out quickly and easily today.  Different to last year, we got up to the drive-through booth and I handed both sets of paperwork and the lady there didn’t say we had to do one and leave and come back to do the other like last time but she did say that we had to pay cash (not scan) for the motorbike one.  Neither of us had any cash so I told Amy I would come back and do it later.

Anyway, after doing the car tax and paying off my four speeding fines the lady then proceeded to do the motorbike one and said we could scan!  What was that about?  Well, never mind – we got it all done, quick and easy.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As we were driving to the transport office I got a call from FedEx about the shipment of records from Taiwan and found out the customs tax on them is 3500 baht!

Thinking that I maybe had a bunch of other speeding tickets to pay, maybe up to 10 I was seeing my money disappear rapidly.  I only got paid yesterday and already more than 10,000 has gone already!

Anyway, what can I do?  If I don’t pay they will get sent back and I’d lose a shit ton more money.  I don’t think I’ll be doing much vinyl anymore.

Something I learned today?

I read up about Charon’s Obol and wrote a poem that references it.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I messaged for a little while with Aida and she told me about how her mum has been beating her since she was little.

She said that her dad left before she was born and I’m guessing that her mum has a lot of unresolved issues.  I don’t get how parents can beat their children though.  It’s wrong.

How do I feel about the year so far?

The year is the year, things have happened, mostly good, some bad and stressful.  

Right now I’m not feeling particularly positive but I feel certain that is just my brain focusing on the negative more than all the good things that are in my life.  

And the past is the past.  What next, what now?

Good Book – 3rd June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

Prepared with a pocketful of prose
The book sprang legs!
Patient and potent, I cannot pull away
The word holds me, the world begs

The porch story-teller
Remembers not to forget
Making metaphors, I’m nostalgic
For something that hasn’t happened
Yet

Innocence gone up in flames
Living mosaics of everyone
And everything ever loved
A good book, once ended
Has begun

Inspired, borrowed and paraphrased from this post at Spinning Visions
20th Sep 2025 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United #195

Today I’m feeling:

So-so.  Despite thinking that I might get up at my usual time of 6am I slept for another couple of hours.  I feel less tired than yesterday but still not ready for action.

I did feel inspired enough to bring my laptop to Utopia and caught up on some poetry reading and a little writing.  I may do some more lesson planning.  I should, but I also may not!

Today I’m grateful for:

My old friends from When Chimps Attack.  I messaged Tommy recently after he had posted a picture of himself and Aaron at a show in Sydney.

Tommy had been in London for the past ten years or so but he said things were so grim there now that he came back but that he was struggling a little bit on his return too.  I told how I had felt there back in October – pretty similar.

Tommy also passed on Aaron’s email address and I wrote him today and look forward to hearing from him.

I know Jon and Ama live in Sydney again and wondering if Aaron has moved back too?  A Chimps reunion?

The best thing about today was:

Playing guitar after a couple of days break.  I managed to improve a little on last time and I felt good for that.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Around 4pm I went out to my room to catch up on some emails and play guitar.  Amy came out about ten minutes later and propositioned me.

As I had just sat down to do something else I was hardly in the mood, and these days I’m less in the mood a lot of the time.

My libido is definitely dropping off and I have no thoughts of looking elsewhere for satisfaction.  I love Amy and am committed to her but it’s not easy for me to just put myself in the mood these days. This is not helped by Amy usually propositioning when she has been drinking which isn’t very flattering for me.  Are beer goggles needed to look upon me now?

Having said that, when the time is right for both of us I still have the best orgasms that I’ve ever had with her.

Sadly, today she seems to be offended by my rejection and has locked herself in the second bedroom and won’t even communicate anything.  I was frustrated enough to try and kick the door in but gave up, considering that it would make things worse.

What happens next when she comes out?  I will try to just behave as normal and ignore her actions and try to smooth things over when she has calmed down.

Something I learned today?

All the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are set to 4:20.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave candy to both Art’s at Utopia this morning.

Whilst I was there Amy called me because I had taken the car as I had planned to do some work at Utopia and wasn’t sure if it would rain or not.  Amy suddenly decided to go for a spa and massage and needed the car immediately, so I drove back home and swapped over to the motorbike to go back to my coffee.

I took this picture because I’m trying to get this plant to grow over the top of the old roof frame. With the rain, it will grow like crazy and I just need to keep going along the beams.

More Alone – 18th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Everyone has gotten access
All the words ever written
Pictures painted, songs sung
Fifty bazillion millisecond process
No bugs to be bug bitten
The shutdown has begun

Standing in the matrix queue
A beta-meta icon version
Presses three after the tone
There’s nothing left to do
In this world’s perversion
Except to feel more alone

inspired by this post (before finishing reading) at Spinning Visions
2nd May 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango — Alone

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good and upbeat.  

Got up soon after my alarm, grabbed coffees and then spent a good few hours in my room, adding blog entries, reading and playing guitar.  

I was glad to go out and do something different yesterday though I wasn’t particularly excited being at the balloon festival.  

I’m not particularly excited by much these days to be honest but I am happy and that’s more important.

Today I’m grateful for:

Air quality being better than this time last year.  It’s still not great but can only hope that it doesn’t get worse.  

The next week will tell the tale as temperatures rise up to 37 degrees again.

The best thing about today was:

Not taking a nap and having a feeling of not wasting a weekend day.  It was pretty relaxed but I got some stuff done so I’m pretty happy with everything.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Not something that was out of my control but it was midday before I remembered that I hadn’t taken my medicine today.  As I was in my room I figured I’d take it when I got back inside but forgot again.  

By mid-afternoon, I felt a little dizzy when I got up from my chair but figured that I’d made it this far without the medicine that I’d just skip it for today.  

Dizziness is the main side effect of not taking it and it’s not like I will drop into a funk just by missing one day.

Something I learned today?

Hayden is in New York.  He and his girlfriend were driven down through snow from Canada for 6-7 hours to get there.  

They are wrapped up and enjoying New York pizza.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent a message to Baipad this morning offering to come and teach her today if she wanted.  I didn’t get a reply but I would’ve been happy to if she would have liked.

I was reminded of Baipad later in the evening when reading some blog post about inspiring self-confidence in children helps make them happier adults.  In these days of mobile devices as parent substitutes, I wonder what will inspire self-confidence?

I took this picture because this is Tangmo. The dog’s bollocks.

Nourishment – 15th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

What does it feel like to function?
Thoughts turned to action
The picture comes alive
An outlaw in this society
We lose life every day
Yet art will always remain
The air and the food
In a world where it’s easy to starve

inspired/borrowed from this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

A little dizzy still and my sore throat is back, I think from the incense at the temple irritating my throat.

Today I’m grateful for:

This Thai family around me. Not without faults but somehow welcoming and inclusive for this idiot.

The best thing about today was:

I did get an hour of free time this afternoon and got twenty minutes of enjoyable bad guitar practice.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’ve been assigned a task this evening as part of the ceremony though I’m not clear what it is. I was just told to follow the others doing the same thing. I feel like a kid in a school play who doesn’t remember where to stand or exactly what to do and just looks around at everyone else and hopes no one notices.

(Later) Well, it involved some scooting on knees and wai-ing and I hoped didn’t look too out of place as the only white non-Buddhist in the room.

Something I learned today?

This was a couple of days ago but worth mentioning that journalist Gonzalo Lira died in a Ukrainian prison. He was imprisoned for reporting truths about Ukraine’s targeting of civilians in Donetsk both before the US proxy war and in the early stages of it. It’s just another nail in the US imperialist coffin that lies about freedom and democracy.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

In between classes, I came to the temple to support the family and after class, I came to collect Amy before driving us home and then back to the city again to pick up food for Grandmum’s mourners.

August (grade 8) came to my class today sighing that she misses her boyfriend (who broke up with her six months ago). I consoled her but later sent her messages to be strong and independent. She appreciated my words but I could feel she’s not strong enough yet.

August (grade 9) took this picture because she stole my phone out of my pocket whilst I was talking with Kru Ren. This is Sunwa, August and Pat, whose birthday it was today. 15th birthday I guess, though she behaves with a little more maturity than her classmates.

Bare Hearts – 7th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Running barefoot along the beaches
A meditation and reflection unspoken
The past master no longer teaches
To prepare for the bare hearts broken

Knowing everything and nothing too
Knowing that something must be learned
As bare feet and bare hearts must do
The future must be earned

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions
21st Jun 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

Tired, relaxed and lazy again.  Today is a repeat episode of yesterday pretty much.  Not excited, not unhappy.

Today I’m grateful for:

The cake that Amy came back with at lunchtime, presumably from Nong Oh who she was out with.  A light chiffon with cashews in a thick caramel topping.  It was nice in that it didn’t taste as sweet as it looked.

The best thing about today was:

Cleaning up the last pile of junk on the floor of my room.  There is stuff there that is inspiring me to think of new lesson plans so I hung on to quite a bit of it.  The floor is clear but I still need to go through the stuff on the shelves and that will mean more inspiration and ideas and then a concern about lack of time to execute all those ideas.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In the scheme of things, I did very little today.  If there was anything out of my control then it had no lasting resonance with my memory.

Something I learned today?

From watching the interview with Nathan Rich I discovered that you can inject whisky into your veins and get drunk from it.  I mean, it makes sense but it seems like a stupid thing to do when you can just drink the stuff! 

That guy has certainly had an interesting life and we share a weird connection in that we both got into computing as a way to raise ourselves up in the world (and both into punk and then with interests in China).

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Today was all about Amy and being sympathetic to her situation with the unfolding drama therein.

Was the killing of hundreds of hairy worms on the avocado tree a good or vile act?

Tell about something you love doing that you’re terrible at. And tell about something you really do not like doing that you’re great at.

For the former, I guess it would be playing guitar, though I don’t really think that I am terrible.  I’m just not good.

For the latter maybe Maths, though again, I wouldn’t say that I was great at it either.  In fact, if I think about it I actually like learning about Maths but have an aversion to it because of a long-held hatred of my high school Maths teacher.

Even then, I’m over it (I should be because it was 40 years ago!) so I need to think of something else here.

It’s tough. I don’t consider myself particularly great at anything and at my age now I’m not really doing anything that I don’t like doing anymore.

I took this picture because this pup is cute and loves me.