Tag: Spinning Visions

Old Man Of Twenty One – 4th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I was from there, but you came from here
And now we’re here you want to leave
Beyond our borders, greener grasses
Chasing after the things that we believe

The world is sure bigger than we understand
To dip toes in the sand or look out from the hill
People leaving for ports unknown
And then we feel as if we’re standing still

For miles and miles, watch the Earth curve
And start running towards all your dreams
But one day, we arrive and reminisce
For the days when nothing was what it seems

Yesterday I was seventeen and tomorrow I’ll be dead
Pretending to be adult til that’s what I became
Dismissing the words of my all-knowing elders
Who’d long since been through the same

Those times we thought we were at the centre
And everything was made for us to hold
Now understood to be just youthful wishes
With the wisdom that came from getting old

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions and its connection with my own experience.

Today I’m feeling:

Really good. An easy day with a nice long gap between easy classes. With only about 6 hours of good sleep last night, I knew I was tired but was able to just remain laid back and go with the flow.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy persisting in hugging me last night before arousing me from my lucid dreams and into a delicious tangle of hips and limbs before we even managed to kiss. 30 minutes later and I was happily drifting into crazy dreams for far too short a time.

The best thing about today was:

From my ab workout and muesli yoghurt breakfast until sitting in this cool aircon before sleeping it’s been a day of feeling happy and spreading a little happiness around. A little bit of joy was shared between us all.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

One of my students, Namfon, couldn’t do work in my class yesterday because she had no internet connection on her phone. This morning I asked her to come and talk to me and Kru Karn because I wanted to know how we could fix the situation. I could tell Kru Karn was really short with her and blaming her and Namfon started to look dejected and almost teary. I felt sorry for her but also wanted her to know that a solution had to be found. When we went back to class I tried to comfort her and she did eventually come round to a little smile. 

In my afternoon class lovely little Nicha had a cry too because, although she didn’t admit it to me until later, she couldn’t understand the work I wanted her to do. There was a lot of work and other students were too busy to help her. She told me her frustrations and again I tried to comfort her and she impressed me with being able to read more words this year. Even though she is one of the older kids she hasn’t really matured yet and, sadly, she’s been left behind in her class. It is a frustrating situation for everyone because she could easily slip through the cracks and deserves a better chance than what is on offer.

Something I learned today?

Again with students, I saw Fah in class today and she looked lost in thought and upset about something which is unusual for her. When I bumped into her l asked her about it and she couldn’t explain in English and just said รำคาญ which I later looked up to find means annoyed. I’m learning language in use.

I took this picture last month because all the paddies are getting seeded and this should all look amazing again in a couple of months’ time. No new picture today so having to dig back.

I Know What You’re Thinking – 23rd July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 23 Comments

Dieter, where did you come from?
And where are you going on that train?
A coat and cigarette keep warm
There’s a look on your face I can’t explain

Your eyes reflect the blur outside
You look lost in what’s gone past
Speeding headlong backwards, onwards
Out into the cold world so vast

Moving at speed whilst quietly sitting still
The dust of the morning on your mind
Stepping onto the platform, time stood still
As you contemplated what you’d find

When you look out, you’re looking for me
I don’t mean for me to be seen
I mean you’re seeing the things I see
Reflected in all the places that I’ve been

I recognise your heart and passion
I see you collecting everyone’s thoughts
The future is heading right toward us
As we must navigate these ports

inspired by the attached photo, written about at Spinning Visions blog
15th Mar 2024 – Submitted to dVerse ONL
19th Jun 2024 – Submitted to dVerse – traveling by train

Today I’m feeling:

Struggled to get up after a difficult sleep. It was still over 30 degrees in my bedroom at midnight so I had to shove the fan next to the open window again and by the time it was getting light, I started to feel cool. Having the weight of the two fish I ate last night sitting in my stomach didn’t help either. Finally, I slowly stretched, cobra, child’s pose, cat and cow and opened my eyes. I felt okay. I talked myself into riding my pushbike to Utopia and eventually (see picture below) am relaxing with caffeine, considering a third cup to cap it all off.

Today I’m grateful for:

Window polish/cleaner. And Amy. Combined they made the kitchen window clean again. Free of lizard shit, cobwebs and other detritus. I can see clearly again as I chug down a glass of water or wash out the cat bowls.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling like things are coming together around our house again as Amy tidies, cleans and rearranges everything to her fancy. When I’m here by myself I’m just living but when Amy is here with me it feels like home again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I guess the morning start going to Utopia with Tangmo following along was a little test as I had to leave again before I could even have coffee and ride back, taking Tangmo home. But I dealt with it with calm acceptance and just enjoyed the ride and tiring ‘mo out.

Something I learned today?

I must’ve learned something today! Oh! I read a couple of interesting interviews in the Punk Planet book. 

That whole book has me reevaluating certain things about my role within the punk/DIY scene. I think when you are deep in the middle of something like that you take it very seriously. Sitting a little outside of that scene now puts into clearer context how others might have viewed it at the time. 

One of the interviews was about a scene member’s frustrations with the changes he’d seen at the time (mid-90s) and it felt a little trivial in retrospect but I also understand that a lot of time has passed since and more world experience gathered.

Of more interest was the other interview about protests about the gearing up for bombing Iraq in 1998. 

The interviewee was from our scene but had somehow found himself on live TV (CNN) addressing the warmongers in the US government. In the interview, he was hopeful about the movement of protest against this but history ended up differently as political manipulations saw to it that Iraq would be crushed and crippled for a long time. 

Almost every on-the-ground report I have heard was about how welcoming the average Iraqi was to strangers. The same propaganda that is currently loose on Russia and China must not be allowed to lead to military conflict. 

But the warmongers will continue to beat their drums until the tide of opinion is so overwhelming that it cannot be ignored. 

We hoped for that in 1998. Hoped for it in 2003. Hoped again and again. As situations in the most powerful Western countries deteriorate maybe we are edging nearer that change. Perhaps the world is waking up.

What are some things that help me feel calm and relaxed?

Meditation seems to help a little though I’m never quite relaxed when actually doing it. Perhaps the accumulation and habit is part of this process. Exercise helps too. I still don’t use my body enough but I’m slowly getting there.

Medication has ironed out my wavering emotions and I’m comfortable with that. 

I took this picture because crazy Tangmo ran beside me as I rode my push bike all the way to Utopia. Crazy dog. He was scared when I sat down because he wasn’t sure where he was. He couldn’t come in and if I came in he would’ve scratched at the door so there was nothing to do except ride him back home and come back for coffee on the motorbike as it was hot and sunny by then.

Don’t Date The Drummer – 21st July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

The funk of the mosh pit in July
Stuck in a van with your mates
Driving up the highway of life
There’s a rule that clearly states

Never date the drummer
Especially in a heavy metal band
The bass player is a no-no too
The back is the place to stand

It’s not a rhythm section
If it cannot keep the beat
And if time cannot be kept
Then sit alone to eat

Staring at the sweaty walls each night
Whilst arms flail along with hair
The drummer’s away in another world
And you may as well not be there

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions blog

1st Jun 2024 – submitted to the Word of the Day Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

Like it’s a happy Friday. I’m pretty tired but knowing I have two reasonably easy classes to finish the week I came to work feeling comfortable. This time last week Amy was still in the air and I was watching the kids enjoy Japan Day. We both agree that it has gone quickly. Last night I blamed Amy for this as she rushed straight into cleaning up the house and running around to get things done. That’s good though. She still has energy!

Today I’m grateful for:

The Spinning Visions blog, which is written by an early twenties American girl. She has a great way with words and I’m finding so much inspiration within them to write poems all the time. She possesses a wisdom, and others who comment on her posts seem to agree, I find myself wishing I had at that age. I guess I also associate her words with what must be going through my student’s heads here in my high school and the reminder of my own memories of those times.

The best thing about today was:

Amy’s seafood dinner of salmon sashimi in green chilli sauce, air-fried battered squid and air-fried fish with garlic and Chinese celery. I sat watching TV for about 30 minutes after getting home and was then surprised by these three dishes appearing. Amazingly, I’m losing weight. I guess my microwave meals followed by junk snacks don’t help when I’m by myself.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’m out of energy and not excited about running around here and there tomorrow too. It’s 8.30 pm and I just want to fall asleep listening to jazzcore.

Something I learned today?

I watched highlights of the recent men’s tennis final at Wimbledon and was happy to see a new face on the scene. A handsome youth from I don’t know where called Alcaraz, I think. I saw another video of his top twenty shots and he’s quite a talent. I never enjoyed the last two decades of men’s tennis champions because they were boring to watch. This kid seems to have some magic that I’m quite happy to get behind.

What colour best reflects my personality? Why?

When I was young my favourite colour was blue. I do not know why. I felt like I chose this without even considering why I liked it.

In my teenage years and twenties, I was stereotypically all about black as I reflected my inner feelings. 

As I moved to warmer climes, black became a bad choice to stay cool even if it looked cool. 

After succeeding in an office job, I rejected regular white shirts and chose to stand out with beautifully ornate flowery shirts.

Over time I felt like red and purple reflected my personality in some ways. Sometimes subdued but also able to stand out in a sea of mediocrity.

I took this picture because this was the amazing dinner my amazing wife served up this afternoon. Did I ever tell of my amazing wife and her amazing food skills?

The Sad Birthdays Start – 20th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Not too young, not too old
Have a happy birthday today
Comfortable in this solid, good age
Time moves only one way
While all around are obsessed
With things that matter not
How can these golden years
Be the only gold we’ve got?

inspired by writing at Spinning Visions blog

Today I’m feeling:

Similar to yesterday. Heavy eyes but body set to go. Waiting for my brain to catch up. Coffee and kids will do the trick. 

The kids will be disappointed this morning as the playground is closed as another one of the sails covering the roof has ripped and fallen down in the storm yesterday afternoon. I wonder when they will decide to give up on this design and put in something more practical instead.

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to watch Seven Kings Must Die via a dodgy Thai gambling website on our big TV tonight. It took me a while to get back into the story from the TV series (The Last Kingdom) but I enjoyed it a lot. 

The best thing about today was:

Getting home, hungry as hell and Amy said ‘ok, I’ll cook now’ and the smells from the kitchen that I haven’t smelled for a long time. It’s the best! My microwave TV dinners are no comparison.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It took me about half an hour to watch a five-minute video this afternoon because Amy kept talking to me, asking questions that required attention. When I felt confident that she’d finished I jokingly asked her if it was possible that I might be able to finish watching this five-minute video that I started watching thirty minutes ago? Thankfully she was in a good mood!

Something I learned today?

The phrase ‘taking the mick’ came from cockney rhyming slang. Mick is Mickey Bliss hence ‘taking the piss’. But now I’m wondering who was Mickey Bliss and where did ‘taking the piss’ even come from?

I was actually conscious of learning this while reading it hence writing it here. I love language play.

What is a cause or issue that is important to me?

Increasingly it is education as this is my field of employment. 

Over the long term, it is animal welfare and food use. Slowly the world is changing and the abuse of animals for food consumption will hopefully keep decreasing and instead of wasting crops to feed animals, we can just remove that part of the chain and use those crops to feed other humans. 

Increasing production and consumption will bring down prices of vegetarian products and drive up meat prices so they become less affordable and desirable. There are still lots of things holding back this change but it feels to me to be the most virtuous way.

Whilst this issue is important to me, I’m not evangelical about it. I do what I can by myself. Other people’s choices are out of my control.

I took this picture because this is how I found my students when I came to the classroom. I woke them up with my phone alarm and greeted them good morning. I’m curious what schools are like in other countries now. South America, the Middle East, and other parts of Asia. 

Donation Pile – 19th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Tears of heartache spilt on her dress
The memory held must no longer impress
“This was me, but this was me then”
And she will never be that person again
She can’t carry all the ghosts of time
All the lives lived already left behind
She cannot hold on to the warm evening air
And this dress no longer takes her there

inspired by writing at Spinning Visions blog

Today I’m feeling:

Woke up feeling okay after a good sleep, shoving the fan against the open window again as the temperature actually rose during the evening. But as I was driving to work I suddenly felt a wave of tiredness come over my brain. My body still felt ok but my brain wanted to switch off. Unfortunately, that’s not an option but I wonder if this is my regular run out of energy that I will need a big sleep to catch up on?

(Later) I managed to pick up my energy throughout the day though I was looking forward to relaxing at home until Amy reminded me we have a plan to meet Nong Na.

It ended up raining so hard that when we got home everyone agreed to change plans to meet another day instead.

Today I’m grateful for:

My student Pin, who didn’t complain when I tracked her down in the canteen at lunchtime and made her try to read the work she should have done yesterday. I know she struggles to read so I wanted her to see that I am there to help her and push her forward even if the progress is only marginal. She did her best and I was grateful that she tried.

The best thing about today was:

Whilst I was standing amongst a group of students talking with Jet and Noah, Nicha stood beside me and started massaging my wrist and forearm. 

I’m not sure why or what was in her thoughts but I appreciated the massage as my wrists were sore from doing some push-ups this morning. 

I don’t feel uncomfortable when teenage students (boys or girls) do odd things like that. I think maybe they are testing boundaries or testing themselves in a safe environment. 

I know other teachers’ own boundaries may be pushed in that situation but I would never let anything become inappropriate. 

I play with my students as if they were my own children and would never hurt them physically or emotionally. I want them to grow, unafraid of criticism and to develop their own self-esteem and confidence in their own actions and emotions.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy dropped me at school today so I had no car to zip out for coffee, not that I have much time on Wednesdays to do that. I embraced being in the school for the whole day and filled the time with helping, talking and playing with students and teachers alike.

Something I learned today?

The guy most of the country voted for in the recent election has been disallowed to be prime minister on a technical issue because that is what certain people in power want. When these people don’t get what they want through the systems in place, they can always find another way. The tide is turning but it’s too slow for many.

What am I feeling right now?

8 pm – Ready for bed but not quite out of energy in my limbs. 

My eyelids are heavy, my ankles are aching, my wrists are sore.

My mind is still humming though with the idea that I have to prepare some more lessons soon. I don’t think I have enough for some of my classes. I also know that I won’t have much free time in October to prepare for the second semester. This anxiety is sitting quietly in the back of my head.

I took this picture because this critter was sitting happily on the wall outside the classroom.

Old New York – 18th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Feel the ghosts and hear the stories
Factories become a millionaire’s abode
A generation of magnificent glories
Along pitiful streets where immigrants strode

Indifference poisons with its toxic fumes
Yet the awe of history inspires
For all the city night consumes
Comes the morning a coffee and bagel requires

The rattle and hum of the train tracks
Hints at the golden age of old
Before beastie boys were graffiti rats
Running away from the winter’s cold

Before the mob, before the game
Hotel rooms rented for a buck
Wishing the old times back again
Now the towers ran out of luck

The lady lights us on the way
Whether it’s another coming or going
Now just a symbol of a better day
One that was worth knowing

inspired by writing at Spinning Visions blog

Today I’m feeling:

I had to sleep early last night to catch up a little. This morning I did my warmup but no exercise. Because Amy was coming with me I knew I would need to leave a little earlier to get her to her mum’s before I go to school. Amy was not in a good mood but warmed up after a while and I was feeling pretty armed and ready for the day. It’s stinky hot already.

Today I’m grateful for:

A change of routine for me. Going out with Amy and her family for lunch.  It was a little different to the normal Thai food we might get and certainly different to what I usually just get for myself. Despite not being terribly spicy it had my tummy doing somersaults in the afternoon.

The best thing about today was:

My last class of the day, which caused me so much grief last week must have been feeling a little contrite as they all came and started doing work for me. I changed things up and put the class in the canteen where it doesn’t matter how much noise they make and I didn’t really teach as such but set them some writing, reading and dictionary look-up tasks. When it came to reading though I did have to coach some of them and it was good to feel that at least a couple of these kids were learning something, in particular Gam, who really showed her appreciation for the help I gave her. I think I will keep this format of lessons for this class for a little while. They will learn that the quicker they get down to work and finish then the quicker they can leave without causing any disruption to others or frustration to me. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy surprised me with a gift and as I unwrapped and unboxed it I had no idea what to expect. She had found someone in Bangkok that makes 3D portraits of cats and inside the box was a portrait of our lovely little Kim Chi. I appreciated the thought but at the moment I’m not ready for this. Amy burst into tears as soon as she saw it too and I wasn’t far behind. Like old photos of Steve being the lasting memories of him, I don’t want this portrait to replace my memories of Kim. Whilst the likeness is good, it’s not her. 

I know in time it will be ok. I can imagine this portrait being on display in the house somewhere and it will serve its purpose as a reminder. I asked Amy if we could keep it away until the anniversary of her passing and perhaps it will feel more comfortable then.

Slightly shell-shocked I walked outside to close the gate and then spent some time pulling up grass and weeds from around Kim’s memorial plant which is growing where she is buried. 

I love/d that cat so much. 

Something I learned today?

Amy and I went to the drive-thru vehicle tax stop and got new tax discs for our bike and car. For the car though I had to pay for whatever speeding and red light infringements I’d incurred during the year, of which I know there were at least two because I just threw them away when I eventually found them in the letterbox which I only check every six or eight months. At 1500 baht it wasn’t too bad really. Less than the cost of some parking tickets in Australia.

Slightly amusing was having to go round again to get the second disc, we couldn’t just do them both at the same time. 

Amy thinks this is because sometimes just one person from a village will rock up with everyone’s paperwork from the village to get done at once. I kinda like this stupid flexibility where what seems like a strict rule should be enforced, i.e. making the owner of the vehicle pick up and pay in person, can be replaced by a simple rule of only processing one payment per vehicle at a time, allowing for a comedic drive around a 100m square to queue again. The motorbike tax cost 101 baht. About 4 Aussie dollars!

What are some of my favourite things about this time of year?

Usually, it would be the cooler air but that is not happening this year due to the El Nino effect. It’s 30 degrees in the bedroom and the two fans are just stirring around treacle air. 

The cycle of the seasons still confuses me a little here. This time of year doesn’t hold the same kind of meaning as it did in the UK or Australia. I don’t have any romantic connections with any of the seasons here. Last year’s bike rides around September and October are perhaps the first deep connections I have made in connection with the seasons here. It was the end of a longer rainy season and the temperatures had become more reasonable, all the dust had gone and the mud was hardening on the dirt roads again, before they were turned back to dust.

But July? It’s rainy season. I don’t go out much. Summer – it’s too hot to go out much. Winter? Winter is nice.

What is in my control today?

Me. I think I managed to keep myself in control quite well today. From a grumpy Amy in the morning to classrooms full of excitable kids caring less about learning, to running around shopping, eating with family and running out of time and energy at home, I was able to stay calm and collected (at least until I saw the portrait of Kim – but I know that wound will heal in time.)

I took this picture at lunch because I wanted to try the dessert which was a green mango ice cream with deep-fried crispy shallots, fine chilli and tamarind. That’s a pretty wild mix and something I would never have thought I would experience when I was eating 99s as a kid.

A Brief Interest, Fleeting – 13th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I’ve learned not to fall in love
With each racing of my heart
Each small attention to detail
No longer makes me fall apart

With the little time we have
There’s all the time in the world
I’ll learn to love that first
Before the loving of boys and girls

Inspired, again, by the real-life story of other people via Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good in general. Amy flies tomorrow and we will see each other so long as she can make the connecting flight in time.

My day started off well, forcing myself up despite wanting to sleep more and once I got going things all fell into place making for a calm and relaxing day of classes for a change. Sometimes I know the attitude I bring has an effect on how the classes go. Likewise, all the students bring their attitudes too so we throw it all into the stew and sometimes it tastes good and other times not. Because it is Japan Day tomorrow I’ve just been teaching about Japan and the kids already have a lot of exposure and interest so they were mostly engaged with it. 

Today I’m grateful for:

The paper and scissors that were available to my classes that enabled the students to make origami hearts and other origami figures. Luckily many of the teachers were doing the same things so there were lots of items available. Sometimes it can be difficult to scratch around for certain resources.

The best thing about today was:

When the students were making origami hearts I asked them to write inside the name of who they wanted to give it to. I suggested boy/girlfriends and mums and dads but I was happy to find some to teacher Shaun. The 12/13 year-olds can be adorable when they are not being little shits!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Thailand tried to vote for a PM today but predictably the process has been derailed to try and exclude the one MP that the people of the country voted for. I don’t see it as that much of an issue so long as the government can still be managed more by the party that people voted for but the system here is still dominated by military-appointed members which makes any progress here extremely slow going.

However, I knew this was going to upset Amy and she would see it as another negative point to be upset about. When the subject came up we soon decided not to talk more about it at this time.  

Something I learned today?

In a laughable irony, the UK has passed a more draconian national security law than Hong Kong has. Hong Kong, a place the UK and US have criticised for its strict national security law. The US security law also allows for targeted killings of US citizens in other countries! It is ironic that the paid protesters in Hong Kong have been allowed safe haven in the UK and US where they are now subject to stricter security laws than the ones they were protesting.

What do I like most about myself?

I don’t know how to answer this. The most? The fact that I’m alive? That’s quite enjoyable! 

Maybe that I can connect with kids easily. I don’t consider myself to be a particularly good teacher but feel like I’m a good human for the kids I meet. For most of them that is enough.

Maybe another thing is that I have gained wisdom as I’ve gotten older and I like the current version of me more than the younger version.

I took this picture because my student Tulip enjoyed looking ridiculous, covered in talcum powder and posing for a picture. Playing with powder and water seems to be a thing and it is a little annoying in class but at least it smells nice!

Secret Stairwell Reader – 12th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A library for escape
Away from toxic adolescence
Give me a book, a cure
Ten-minute convalescence
A silent conversation
With Kurt, Leo or Tim
Sudden shock discovery
Stirs something within
Where I fell in love
Every day, every page turned
Caught like a naughty child
A secret found, unearned
This secret isn’t yours to share
Find your own stairs to sit
Fall in your own love
And be satisfied with it

inspired by the story here on the Spinning Visions blog

Today I’m feeling:

Tired from lack of sleep. Slept well but just not long enough. Hopefully coffee gets me going.

I was having a very nice dream this morning but it was suddenly interrupted by what seemed to be a handsome TV presenter with a gleaming smile. He looked at me sideways and then gave me a wink and a knowing smirk. And my alarm went off!

Did I almost cross over into the Matrix? A glimpse behind the curtain? I actually laughed as I turned my alarm off. It felt like some sort of comfort.

Today I’m grateful for:

Teaching the grade 10 kids first this morning. Even though their English isn’t good, their maturity at least makes them more manageable to teach. They still have concentration issues when it comes to phone management issues. I can’t help but feel that letting them have their phones in class is going to affect them badly in the future unless our societies turn into 5-second functions where they might be ahead of the game. 

I think these kids will be in for a rude awakening or have already accepted their fates.

The best thing about today was:

A big beautiful rainstorm from low black clouds as I was driving home. Our poor rusted guttering couldn’t cope with the deluge and I may need to make another venture up onto the roof to see if there is anything blocking it. If there’s not it just means there’s too much rain too quickly to even take care of.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As a follow-on from yesterday’s annoying class, I spent much of the day chasing up lazy kids, offering them help several times and making myself available, all to little avail. Less than half the students bothered to do anything. When the online quiz deadline passed I advised their homeroom teacher again asking what she could do about it and she just said she’d tell them again. She doesn’t get it either. The work for my class is no longer the issue. My two-hour lesson shouldn’t end up as a twenty-four-hour helpline. I asked again what she is going to do to stop them from wasting everyone’s time. I’m not expecting any answer.

Something I learned today?

Chatting with David, he is also frustrated with his classes and the student’s lack of understanding. I do take it as a challenge for me to find better ways to engage the kids but it is exhausting when they are just not interested in developing themselves at all. I think David will quit soon.

When was the last time I felt at ease?

I feel at ease most of the time if I consider it carefully. Sure I can let my classes wind me up but I’m mostly wound down again the following day even if I’m still thinking about it. By that point, I’m thinking up solutions and not getting emotionally caught up in it anymore. I’m not letting things overwhelm me like might have happened in the past.
It is still a rollercoaster of being totally on during the semester and then totally off during the holiday. That transition does feel weird.

My student, Wipping, took this picture because she asked me to smile but I pretended to be upset that she wasn’t working. This picture captures my internal feelings in class sometimes. 99% of the time it remains internal and I have also never hit anyone with that stick. It is actually my remote control for the projector on the ceiling.

The Santa Ana Wind – 30th June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We need seasons for our sanity
The rhythms of the world turning
Standing still, the river is a lake
The flow of time is the learning

inspired and borrowed from text at the Spinning Visions blog
12th Nov 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – seasonal

Today I’m feeling:

Thankful for a sleep-in as my afternoon nap yesterday saw me awake into the early hours. Couldn’t force myself to exercise but will try to do something a little later. Can I hold myself to that promise? Is hanging out the washing considered exercise?

Today I’m grateful for:

This free day that saw me pulling weeds, sweeping leaves, hanging out washing and bringing it back in happily, as the morning clouds had left for a sunny afternoon. I kept myself awake with a quick bike ride in search of the wooden buildings I’d once seen down amongst the rice paddies near the airport. The day filled out well.

The best thing about today was:

Rediscovering the music of Cinemachanica, first listening on the stereo, and being convinced they’d never be able to play it live, and then finding several videos of them doing just that. Incredible musicians making music that will only appeal to a very few and I happen to be one of them.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy’s package that I ordered for her birthday was due to arrive today and all was looking good until Amy called me saying she’d got a message that it was delivered though she hadn’t received anything. The courier sent some photos and it appears it was just left outside the lifts of the building, sitting there for anyone to pick up and take off with. Fortunately, she found it in time but it was a bit of a blot on something that should have been a carefree joyful occasion. These trials test us. We shake our heads and go on our way.

Something I learned today?

I watched an amazing speech by Max Blumenthal to the UN about the war in Ukraine and how it is making America poorer as well as the rest of the world. Piles of Western allies’ tax money has been spent for no reward except for those that profit off the sales and how each of the last government’s chiefs all start buying stocks in weapons manufacturers whilst they’re in power which will start making money via the wars they start during that time. What a game!

What is my favourite memory from the past month?

This is a test. What happened in the last month? Anything out of the ordinary? I’ve learned to savour moments no matter how small but the memory of those moments is insignificant and a blur. Playing guitar, reading, writing, teaching, learning, talking, sleeping. Is it monotonous? It doesn’t feel like it. It feels normal. It feels preferable to highs and lows.
Yesterday, talking with Amy at the end of her birthday night she told me that several people remarked on how happy she is most of the time. It’s her default setting. She got the gene that makes her normal state of happiness higher than most. She’s lucky and grateful for that though a little perplexed because for her it’s just normal. We mere mortals have to try a little harder to occasionally reach a level of happiness that stands out.

I took this picture because I finally found the place I was looking for on my ride. It looks like it may have been a monk’s retreat or resort in the past. All the structures are made from wood so could be pretty old. Places like this get the old brain excited at the thought of what events may have occurred here in history.

String-Lit Rooftop – 23rd June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It was perfect lighting for wine
The rooftop caught the breeze
Sharing anecdotes and views
Above the tops of the trees
The night air tasting so sweet
A joyful company of cats
A world down there goes on by
Dreaming of ways to relax
The love of careless dreams
Engrossing ideas softly debated
A world comes together up here
And the future becomes fated

inspired by part of this post at the Spinning Visions blog

Today I’m feeling:

Tired despite getting more than 7 hours of sleep for the first time this week. When I got home I had a thirst for beer so stuck some in the fridge whilst I dashed out to get a salted fish for dinner. I was soon sat eating the chilli-drenched fish and downed two still-warm beers in the process. The satisfaction in my tummy triggered my exhaustion synapses and I started shutting down. I fed the cats and sent a good night message to Amy, who was out dancing around Sydney, and was in bed before it was dark. 

Today I’m grateful for:

The fish seller who had fish already cooked at 4.30 pm so I was able to grab dinner without having to wait. Along with a big bag of lettuce, some noodles and the rocket hot chilli it was a shot of protein that I needed.

The best thing about today was:

My dinner with beer. And not because I was getting drunk but just because it is unusual for me these days to even feel like having a beer and whereas I used to be able to keep drinking into the evening, now I feel satisfied (or sleepy) after just two.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I went to sleep without having written here or doing my Thai practice with my apps where I will lose my daily streaks. But I needed to catch up and won’t beat myself up over it.

Something I learned today?

Some days I need a break.

I took this picture because I was once again reminded that around this school of 3000 students are the remnants of the farming life of the locals. At some point in the next twenty years, there may not be anywhere for this herd to be. The picture is the tail end of a herd of about 40 goats that just ambled through the crossroads at the school with the farmer riding a rusty old bike cracking a stick on the road.